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lulabellesvoice@yahoo.comGender:
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September 12, 2005Answers:
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I'm a raw and living foodest. For those of you who are unfamiliar with what that is I only eat foods that have not been cooked. I do this because it maintains all of the nutrients and enzymes intact and is much healthier. I'm not here to try to convert anyone. I think you can reach maximum health by eating all kinds of foods fixed all kinds of ways. This is simply my life choice. What I'm here to do is help educate people as to what is happening to thier food. Did you know that the pharmaceutical companies have lobbied to have a law voted on called "Codex Aimentarius" that will take away our freedom to take suppliments? It has already been implemented in Europe. Of course it is still ok for them to put steroids, antiboitics and harmones in our foods. Have you wondered why there is a great influx of people acting aggressively and out of character? I'm here to help guide you through this mess. If you want to eat meat...eat meat...just get chemically free meat. I'm here to help you understand what is happening to you.
advice
I am concerned for my Grandson's emotional well-being. He is a step-child at both his parents homes - they share him on a weekly - weekend basis, and have good communication- and good relationship with one another. The boy is 8. He is getting into trouble at school: being sassy and not following instructions. At his mom's he is very sassy to her, and gets in trouble with his step-dad for this behavior. Lots of time-outs and missed activities. He has a 2yr. old half brother and an infant half-sister at his mom's house. At his father's he is the only child, although his step-mom is pregnant (he doesn't know yet).
This school year he began a "new" habit of not putting on underware when he gets himself dressed for school. On Friday's I picked him up after school, and asked him to change before his dad came to pick him up from my home, after getting off work. He made an excuse about playing in the school yard and falling, which got his underware wet from the grass. I collected his school clothes to wash them and asked for his soiled underware. He said he left them in his desk. I do not think this is so. I believe he did not wear any to school, again.
He spends a lot of time with me and his grandad and he weas all his clothing items here - also at his dad's house. Could his not wearing his underware signal han attempt to get help for whatever is frustrating him at his mom's and at school?
First of all I don't think you need to worry so much about his not wearing underware. I know a lot of adults (mostly men, some women) who do not like the feel of it. This could simply be he doesn't like it. One guy I know who is now 50 quit at about the same age as your grandson. Drove his mother crazy. If this isn't the reason and it is a retalitory behavior tactic, then mentioning it will only exacerbate the situation. Act like it's no big deal. If effect is what he's looking for and no one reacts to it then it will loose momentum.
What worries me most is his behavior. He is feeling neglected and possibly wronged. He is not feeling understood so he's acting out. He needs some tender loving attention. I know this will sound weird, but I think that they need to spend more time with him than giving him time out. Time out in my opinion is more for the parents than for the children. This child is stubborn and willful. Harsh punishment will only make him more determined to do whatever he wants to do. He's not feeling respected so why should he respect others. If this is not addressed while he is young you are going to have some major problems with him when he gets older. I would suggest that professional help be considered at this point. Your family aren't going to buy these suggestions because I'm not a professional. And it's a lot more complicated than I can go into here. He's eight years old so he's in school. I'd go to the school and find out if there is a councelor there. If there is ask them where you can go to get cost effective counciling for your grandson. If you can't afford it call local free clinics. There are a lot of them that you can pay on ability to pay basis. Your grandson is a very sensitive person. His feelings are hurt very easily. He's showing it with his anger. He's acting out. It's too complicated for someone who is not trained in child behavior to handle. Also, outside help will help the whole family understand their part in this situation. Everyone needs to pitch in and contribute to his therapy. Don't act like his going to therapy means there is something wrong with him. Act like it will be a fun thing and he's getting to do something that the other kids don't get to do. Good luck!
Namaste,
LULABELLE
(Rating: 5) Thanks. I agree wholeheartedly with your opinion. I checked with a parent-couseling source for the group (all 4 parents) and then told my son that I would pay for a couple of sessions there, if he would like to set it up, BUT - he did not want any part of this. Said he felt the problems were not that extreme so this type of assistance is not be necessary. It is a very sad thing for us to observe - he is a very intelligent and loving boy, and I can see his self-esteem and confidence being destroyed. All are young - busy parents - they all teach at the high school level, and are very controlling. Can you imagine living with the scrutiny of his environment?