lulabelle's advice column

I'm a raw and living foodest. For those of you who are unfamiliar with what that is I only eat foods that have not been cooked. I do this because it maintains all of the nutrients and enzymes intact and is much healthier. I'm not here to try to convert anyone. I think you can reach maximum health by eating all kinds of foods fixed all kinds of ways. This is simply my life choice. What I'm here to do is help educate people as to what is happening to thier food. Did you know that the pharmaceutical companies have lobbied to have a law voted on called "Codex Aimentarius" that will take away our freedom to take suppliments? It has already been implemented in Europe. Of course it is still ok for them to put steroids, antiboitics and harmones in our foods. Have you wondered why there is a great influx of people acting aggressively and out of character? I'm here to help guide you through this mess. If you want to eat meat...eat meat...just get chemically free meat. I'm here to help you understand what is happening to you.

advice

this might be long but i realy have a problem

me and my friend had been best friends since 4th grade and have been there for each other through thick and thin. last year around febuary she moved to a different state.. but we still talked every day. everything was going good up until the middle of october... when i would call her but she wouldnt call back, and shed say she was watching a tv show or was too tired.. well that got old pretty fast, so i sent her something that was like you act like you dont care about me anymore and i get a 'you know i care' we got into a big discussion because whenever we'd talk for a little bit it would be about her... so for a couple weeks we hadnt talked, and then we finally did when i called her and it turned into a hour of crying and saying she still cared. we got off the phone and she said shed call me tomorrow, suprise suprise i didnt get a call. ive tried making casual conversation with her but she is always busy and has to go. then a week later i get a text asking why i havent called her and 'you say im not being a good friend' then it just got into a war and how im making a huge deal out of this... and she turned all of this around to be my fault when i dont think it is.. finally i just told her id have my cell whenever she wanted to talk.

i havent talked to her since and whenever i try to say something shes always like sorry im doing something brb its just stupid and im not sure what to do its like she doesnt want to even be friends with me anymore randomly. she doesnt even im me when were both on... i just dont know what i should do so if anyone has any suggestions let me know... thank you

14/f

There could be all kinds of reasons why she is being aloof. It could be her parents think it would be a good idea if the two of you cooled down on the telephone calls.They may think she should start making fiends where she is. It could be that they think the phone bills are getting to high and they want her to limit her time on the phone. It could be that she is feeling guilty about all of this and doesn't know how to tell you because she thinks it will hurt your feelings. It could be that she is meeting other people and doing things with them which takes up her time, therefore she is out of time and unable to email you as much. There can be all kinds of reason why she is doing what she is doing. One thing I'm sure of and that is she still cares about you. She just doesn't know how to handle whatever it is that is causing the interference. Now as to fault...I think it is the fault of both of you. Neither of you are willing to communicate with the other. An argument can't happen without two people. You both are having expectations of the other and neither of you are fulfilling each other's expectations. Based on the information you've given me, neither of you are talking to each other and explaining what is going on with either of you. You should take the initiative and call her. In your conversation never use the word fault. This word should be banned from the human language. When this word is used everyone looses sight of the true goal of the conversation and simply starts pointing fingers. No one wins when this word is used. If your friend uses it ignore it. No one has told her it should be taboo. Anyway, let her know as you have let us know what is going on from your viewpoint. Ask her point blank if there is anything wrong? Had you done anything to offend her before the big standoff. Tell her how much she means to you and that you are hoping that her new life is filled with new friends and fun. Ask her straight up why she hasn't called you. Don't be accusatory when you do this. Ask her in a sweet little I miss you voice. I guess it boils down to you should be as sweet as possible. Even when she is accusatory. If she becomes accusatory simply reply she has a right to her opinion, but you don't see it that way. Don't disagree with her, but don't agree with her if you don't agree. Now, how can you do this? IT is simple. Use the term "I understand" a lot. Say it anytime she is explaining her feelings (good/bad). Put yourself in her shoes when she is telling her side of things. This is called empathy. You don't have to agree with her conclusions, but you can understand what brought her to them. Then I would slow the phone conversations down to about once or twice a week (unless something special happens). Start making some new friends while you maintain your friendship with your out of state friend. Enjoy life and most of all take care of yourself. Do what is best for you at all times. Good luck.

Namaste,

LULABELLE

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(Rating: 5) jeez that was really good advice thanks so much ill defenately be asking you questions again if i have any more lol

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