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lulabellesvoice@yahoo.comGender:
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Jewelry Design/Massage TherapyMember Since:
September 12, 2005Answers:
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I'm a raw and living foodest. For those of you who are unfamiliar with what that is I only eat foods that have not been cooked. I do this because it maintains all of the nutrients and enzymes intact and is much healthier. I'm not here to try to convert anyone. I think you can reach maximum health by eating all kinds of foods fixed all kinds of ways. This is simply my life choice. What I'm here to do is help educate people as to what is happening to thier food. Did you know that the pharmaceutical companies have lobbied to have a law voted on called "Codex Aimentarius" that will take away our freedom to take suppliments? It has already been implemented in Europe. Of course it is still ok for them to put steroids, antiboitics and harmones in our foods. Have you wondered why there is a great influx of people acting aggressively and out of character? I'm here to help guide you through this mess. If you want to eat meat...eat meat...just get chemically free meat. I'm here to help you understand what is happening to you.
advice
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=387836 (old question)
(New question based on old question.)
Okay... I figured out why he hasn't tried contacting me. (It is by far the worst reason possible.) I finally found a number through directory assistance, called it, and a woman answered. I was so shocked. I made up some crap about how I was from the hotel he stayed in and he had left his hat (the one he had given to me) and asked her if she wanted us to ship it back. It was the correct number because she said she'd leave him the message and have him call me back. She even knew which hat I was talking about.
After that, I did some research on the internet with the number I found. I am 99% positive HE IS MARRIED and has TWO KIDS. He lied to me, told me he was single. He had told me when we were together that his ex-girlfriend (what he really meant was his wife) had written him a letter while he was in Iraq telling him basically "cya, can't take it anymore." So I think maybe the marriage is faltering/on shakey ground, especially since he is about to be deployed soon and is wondering if she will leave him again.
HOWEVER, I know this is no excuse to lie to me and does not give him a reason to cheat on her. I have NO SYMPATHY for him. I am so glad I found this little bit of info out now, instead of wasting my heart on him. And he told me he didn't have any secrets. (Hmph!)
But I am soooooo hurt. Especially since I broke up with my previous boyfriend because of all the lies he told. Now this. Believe me, it's going to be very very hard for me to ever trust a man again. I feel like such a fool.
I'm going to send the hat back. I'm so angry right now. Maybe I'll send it back in shreds. I feel like screaming in his face or telling his wife what a &%*#%*$ he is. I feel like crying but right now I'm too much in shock to do so. I'm so stupid, but I suppose this experience will make me a wiser and stronger person... or at least an old maid.
Why do guys lie? Will I ever find someone who is not going to lie to me? Even if I find the greatest man in the world, will I screw it up because I'll be paranoid that he is lying to me? How do I deal with all this heartbreak?
I feel so badly for you. This scenario did cross my mind, but I like to keep things on a positive note. I didn't want to be right or hurt you anymore than you were hurting yesterday. That is why I put in the part at the end to move on after you had written the letter. The letter was an exercise I thought would help you to feel completed. Also, my idea was a possible scenerio. Your method of locating him was very smart. If it were me Iâ??d send the hat back with XOXO all over the box. Iâ??d put a card inside with the hat that says, â??thanks for the wonderful weekâ?? and sign it love, and your name. He will have a hard time explaining this one and there is a lesson he needs to learn here. The reason he does this is because he gets away with it. I personally donâ??t have a problem with people who are poly-amorous. I think that lifestyle is just fine as long as they let everyone know this is their life choice. The problem I have with this situation is this is someone that does it and doesnâ??t tell, for example, you and his wife, so that you two can make an informed decision as to whether you want to be involved with him, or not. Itâ??s the blatant lying that is the problem which is so cruel of him. I donâ??t know why people feel they should protect these people and let them get a way with this behavior. I think his wife needs to know what he is up to when heâ??s not with her. It may hurt her to know this, but in the long run she will better off. She will then be making an informed decision. Will she stay with this man who will not be committed to her in the way she signed up for or not. And anyway, he indicated they were having problems. I wonder why...Whatever decision she makes at this point will be her bed. As for the lying thing...I wouldnâ??t be paranoid of it, just cautious. Donâ??t believe everything someone tells you. Believe what they do, not what they say. When you ask a question watch the body language. People pretty much tell you everything you want to know if you become observant of how they behave after being asked a question. Most of the time people canâ??t look you in the eye when they are lying. People usually overt their eyes down to the left when lying. This is a method the police use in determining when someone is lying or not. There are those rare individuals who can look you in the eye, but, there is a steely blank look in their eyes. Donâ??t trust this. Listen to your instincts about a person when you meet them. Your instincts are usually right on. Think back on your experience with this guy. Was there anything that flashed through your mind that made you wonder differently from what he was saying, but you over rode it because you were taking him at face value? I do wish he had not done this to you. That was so unfair and unkind of him. Remember, this was only a week. Thank goodness you didnâ??t have any more time invested into this. Think of this as a positive thing; a learning experience. Learning experiences sometimes donâ??t feel good even when they are good. You now know, yes, people will prey on your emotions to get what they want. As far as the question goes; is there a guy out there that doesnâ??t lie? No. But then no one on this planet is 100% truthful all the time. People tell little white lies all the time. Iâ??m sure you do. We all do. What you look for is a guy who keeps it to a minimum. Let him get away with the little white lies...it's the big ones that count. They are out there just keep the faith. Youâ??ll find one. As far as the pain? With time it will diminish. Surround yourself with friends and go to movies, dinner, dancing, etc. Keep busy and before you know it the hurt will have diminished and you will meet someone that will be beyond your wildest dreams. It may be that you needed this experience to be able to recognize him.
Good Luck!
LULABELLE
(Rating: 5) Thank you. However, I've decided not to tell for some reasons. 1. He knows where I live. What if I break up his marriage and family and he goes psycho and goes after me? Or what if she's a psycho and blames me for everything? I need to look after myself first. 2. I don't want to hurt the wife like that. Maybe she knows but hasn't come to terms with it yet. And if she doesn't know, if he's doing it enough, she's eventually figure it out on her own, and when she does, she can place all the blame on him, instead of pinning it on me. 3. Maybe he truly was a good guy who realized he made a big mistake, and I don't want to break up a marriage because of that. There are some more reasons, but I think those are the most important ones.