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Q: To give a little background, my boyfriend and I have been together for over a year I'm 16 and he's 17. He would always get things in the mail from the Army, Navy and the Marines. He would save them, show it to me and I'd rip it up and tell him he's not going. The thought of my boyfriend going away to war is something I just CAN'T handle.

I was in his room, cleaning it up while he was in the shower like I always do and I found a flyer that had the information about the Navy on it... I was getting ready to rip it up when I saw that he had signed up for it..

I always told him that I'd be heartbroken if he would sign up for anything that COULD get him killed.

I'm trying SO hard to understand... But I can't. I don't know why he would do this to me. He keeps saying it's for the best but I KNOW it's not the best for him. He always told me he'd never leave me, but by doing this I feel like he is. He always told me, "You don't know what I would give just to see your beautiful face every day and just to have you in my arms, even if it's for 5 minutes." He's told me he wants to be the father of my children, my husband, my one and only.. If he's at war, how is he going to do that??

I really want to convince him NOT to go, but that's just being selfish... But at the same time I want him here with ME. I don't want to live every day in fear that I'll get that knock on my door and having someone tell me that the love of my life was killed.

So my questions are... SHOULD I convince him not to go and explain to him why I don't want him to?

If not, how can I get over this? How can I deal with it every day knowing that my boyfriend is risking his life?

First, I'd adress the issue. I don't get how he possibly could have enlisted at 17, I thought the minimum age was 18, but anyway. What you need to do is go up to him personally and adress the issue. Make sure you have tears, as tears sway any man. Then, tell him the you really do not want him to go, but if it is something he wants to do, than you can accept it.
And to get over it, just remember that he is doing something he is enjoying. He is enjoying the Navy, and he's doing what he wants. If he dies, he's going to die doing something that he loves, no in a bed at 85 with a respirator hooked up to him.
If you really want to, there is an option you may have overlooked. You can be with him by elisting yourself. Therefore, whatever happens, it happens to both of you. It'd be a romantic setting. And I do believe that the US forces will let you join with him, they have let other friends go together.
And also, very few Navy people actually go onto the ground and fight. They specialise, and become something they want to be. There are Dentists, Veterinarians, Counters, Salesmen, etc. Make sure that he specialises in something.
I hope this helped!
-Steven

Rating: 5

Thanks alot. Yeah, I know he's 17, but I believe you can still in a way "sign up" for it, but they call you out when you turn 18, or graduate from highschool.

But thank you for your advice. It was very helpful. However, I don't think I'll be enlisting any time soon.

bio

THE PENGUIN RULES ALL! AHAHAHAHAHAHA! *Cough*
Hello! My name is Steven, and I am a mentor. Yes, that does mean that I help other people. I have helped over 1000 people to date, and have helped some individuals for over 1/2 a year. The miracle of my life occurred 17 years ago. I say miracle only because 1/4 babies survive to be born.
I am the first born of 2 children, and I am also the black sheep. I listen to Classical Music, so you can call me a weirdo. :P. I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, so take no offense if my answers never seem to end.
In school, I get As and Bs. More Bs really. I play trombone, and was the section leader of the trombones at my school. This year, I am the captain of the entire brass section. I am an Eagle Scout, so I guess that says I'm persistant? You make the call. I am a 3 time varsity letter winner, looking for a 4th next winter. I also participate in the musical, where I am a Bass 2. :)
I am straight, and have never had a relationship beyond a friend. However, I have survived the bumps in the road, and can advise you if you wish it. Though, it's not my strength.
I'm here for you, and only you. That means that my advise will not always confort you. Heck, it may even scare you. Yet, I want you to do what is best for your mind. Not what is typically seen as best for you, but what YOU see best for YOU. Heck, if you wanted what was seen as best for you, you would've asked your parents what you should do. They give you what's typically best.
Alright, before I start getting tendinitis from writing that over and over again, I'll just say what I mean. I mean that if you ask me about something, let's say walking 10 miles a day, and I think it's rediculous, yet you are asking for something to do, I am NOT going to say "10 miles is the type of a thing a anorexia athletica would do. Try 5." I'll give you something to do.
Oh, and I'm a L1 moderator, which means I rate questions.

Don't hesitate to IM me, I'm usually on. If I'm not, just drop one in the Inbox!

Oh, by the way, I am liberal in everything. That means that abortion is a woman's RIGHT, and gay marriage should be LEGAL.

Ask away!
-Steven