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Q: I have a friend who is verbally and physically abusive. She called me and my other friend a**holes for stupid reasons, and she just us both (hard!). She's been doing little things like that forever, like calling me an idiot or stupid, and maybe hitting me a few times. I could deal with that, but now she's gone way too far. I know that's not how a friend is supposed to act. She doesn't seem to know that her behavior is mean and immature.

I'm avoiding her, but I know I can't do that forever. What should I do?
Why don't you sit down with your other friends and discuss it? I'd suggest forming a plan to make her know she is not doing what is right. What you do is sit somewhere else for lunch. She will come to sit with you, as she'd be alone, and if she tries to sit down, tell her she cannot. And give her the exact reasons why. Tell her that until she begins being a good friend, and stops being so abusive, all of you do not want her as a friend.
If it's an invitation for a social outing, then do it at that point. Or, if she invites you, tell her no because of it, and she should call someone else. Then they say no. It's actually best if she invites you, as it happens time after time.
2 things will result possible. First, she may change to a good person, when you begin to talk to her again. Or, she will find new friends. Either way, you should not be friends with the present her, and you come out ahead. Do not be afraid to do this, it works a lot.
-Steven

Wow! Great advice! thanks so much!

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sbloemeke
THE PENGUIN RULES ALL! AHAHAHAHAHAHA! *Cough*
Hello! My name is Steven, and I am a mentor. Yes, that does mean that I help other people. I have helped over 1000 people to date, and have helped some individuals for over 1/2 a year. The miracle of my life occurred 17 years ago. I say miracle only because 1/4 babies survive to be born.
I am the first born of 2 children, and I am also the black sheep. I listen to Classical Music, so you can call me a weirdo. :P. I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, so take no offense if my answers never seem to end.
In school, I get As and Bs. More Bs really. I play trombone, and was the section leader of the trombones at my school. This year, I am the captain of the entire brass section. I am an Eagle Scout, so I guess that says I'm persistant? You make the call. I am a 3 time varsity letter winner, looking for a 4th next winter. I also participate in the musical, where I am a Bass 2. :)
I am straight, and have never had a relationship beyond a friend. However, I have survived the bumps in the road, and can advise you if you wish it. Though, it's not my strength.
I'm here for you, and only you. That means that my advise will not always confort you. Heck, it may even scare you. Yet, I want you to do what is best for your mind. Not what is typically seen as best for you, but what YOU see best for YOU. Heck, if you wanted what was seen as best for you, you would've asked your parents what you should do. They give you what's typically best.
Alright, before I start getting tendinitis from writing that over and over again, I'll just say what I mean. I mean that if you ask me about something, let's say walking 10 miles a day, and I think it's rediculous, yet you are asking for something to do, I am NOT going to say "10 miles is the type of a thing a anorexia athletica would do. Try 5." I'll give you something to do.
Oh, and I'm a L1 moderator, which means I rate questions.

Don't hesitate to IM me, I'm usually on. If I'm not, just drop one in the Inbox!

Oh, by the way, I am liberal in everything. That means that abortion is a woman's RIGHT, and gay marriage should be LEGAL.

Ask away!
-Steven

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