asksbloemeke
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Q: Before I start I'm a sixteen year old girl.

Well I have my first boyfriend now but that's not what this is about. Well you see my friend is feeling left out because both me and our other friend now have boyfriends and she doesn't. She has liked this same boy for three years now but nothing is happening between them. He hardly even looks at her anymore. She doesn't want to give up on him because she knows she won't like any other guy. I keep telling her to go up and talk to him but she is the shy "wait for him to come to me" kind of girl. I feel bad for her but I don't want to break up with my boyfirned just because she is feeling left out. She has met and gets along really well with both my boyfriend and our other friend's boyfriend but she never wants to go anywhere with any of us. I would never put my boyfriend above my friends and my boyfriend understands that. We ask her to come to football games or movies with us all the time but she thinks she'd be getting in the way. What should I do?
You should try to encourage her and boost her confidence. You need to let her know that she needs to take risks to get anywhere in life, and that she should make a reasonable attempt at getting a boyfriend. Let her know that if she does not try to get a boyfriend, she will never have one.
With her going with you places when you are with your boyfriend, let her know that you honestly do not care if she makes out with him, you just wouldn't mind. (Note: Of course you WOULD care, it would be used in exaggeration...) Invite her to another movie, and if she declines for such a reason, explain to her that you want her to go for her own enjoyment, and that believing she'd become intrusive is no excuse.
-Steven

Well last year she did take a risk and she wrote the boy she likes a letter telling him how she feels about him. His response was," I just want to be friends." She was fine with that because it wasn't total rejection and because they had two classes together but this year she hasn't had a chance to talk with him at all. Ummm....about the making out thing, my boyfriend wouldn't make out with my friend because he would probably feel like he'd be betraying me.

bio
sbloemeke
THE PENGUIN RULES ALL! AHAHAHAHAHAHA! *Cough*
Hello! My name is Steven, and I am a mentor. Yes, that does mean that I help other people. I have helped over 1000 people to date, and have helped some individuals for over 1/2 a year. The miracle of my life occurred 17 years ago. I say miracle only because 1/4 babies survive to be born.
I am the first born of 2 children, and I am also the black sheep. I listen to Classical Music, so you can call me a weirdo. :P. I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, so take no offense if my answers never seem to end.
In school, I get As and Bs. More Bs really. I play trombone, and was the section leader of the trombones at my school. This year, I am the captain of the entire brass section. I am an Eagle Scout, so I guess that says I'm persistant? You make the call. I am a 3 time varsity letter winner, looking for a 4th next winter. I also participate in the musical, where I am a Bass 2. :)
I am straight, and have never had a relationship beyond a friend. However, I have survived the bumps in the road, and can advise you if you wish it. Though, it's not my strength.
I'm here for you, and only you. That means that my advise will not always confort you. Heck, it may even scare you. Yet, I want you to do what is best for your mind. Not what is typically seen as best for you, but what YOU see best for YOU. Heck, if you wanted what was seen as best for you, you would've asked your parents what you should do. They give you what's typically best.
Alright, before I start getting tendinitis from writing that over and over again, I'll just say what I mean. I mean that if you ask me about something, let's say walking 10 miles a day, and I think it's rediculous, yet you are asking for something to do, I am NOT going to say "10 miles is the type of a thing a anorexia athletica would do. Try 5." I'll give you something to do.
Oh, and I'm a L1 moderator, which means I rate questions.

Don't hesitate to IM me, I'm usually on. If I'm not, just drop one in the Inbox!

Oh, by the way, I am liberal in everything. That means that abortion is a woman's RIGHT, and gay marriage should be LEGAL.

Ask away!
-Steven

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