QuestionCandace's

advice

For as long as I can remember, my currently 19 year-old sister, isn't having the best life right now. I'll refer to her as Lexi In 2003 Lexi dropped out of her senior year in high school about 4 months before graduation. She claims it was because she hated that school, and hated everyone in it. I mean, she's not really the preppy, Barbie Girl type. She did get her G.E.D. after dropping out of high school, though. She went to the 2nd semester of college. Our whole family was overjoyed and really thought that Lexi could make something of herself, finally. I mean, she is really, really smart and an extremely good drawer.



But then she ended up skipping her classes to sleep in, and the night before college finals in spring, she drunk so much alcohol that she passed out and was under severe conditions and had to be hospitalized. She didn't even call our parents, because she knew that she'd be in trouble for underage drinking at that tim (age 18) and she had missed finals. She went to court and pleaded guilty, and was fined. But our family left that in the past and forgave her.



Lexi's back home now, and I pray every night that she goes back to college, or at least gets a job. She always promises our mom to get a job and never does, claiming that "nothing motivates her to do anything." Usually she appears in a pretty good mood, but once every month my parents and her will have a nasty fight. I'm not saying physically. These fights involve swearing, screaming, yelling, shouting, and insulting. Then the next day it's almost as if nothing happened, but my parents and Lexi won't talk to each other. My mother cries her eyes out, and I can't blame her, because she went through several hours of pain and labor to bring Lexi into the world, wanting , and my sister does nothing but smoke and swear at her. She and my parents eventually make up, and then it will be another fight.



Lexi is in financial trouble too (I'm not saying what), and won't return tax collectors' calls. She is too lazy to get a job, all she does is eat, sleep, and smoke, and go out with friends. I really want Lexi to get a job and stop smoking. I really want her to have a better life and go back to college. I really want my parents and her to not fight. I can't control any of this, because she is 6 years older than me (I'm 13) and I can't tell her what to think. Lexi refuses to go to a counselor, and no one can change her mind. Sometimes I even cry myself to sleep because I'm only 13 and I'm already going through emotional pain. I really need help, and I would appreciate anyone's sincere input on this.

If she's the oldest child in the family that's most likely the problem. As the oldest sibling sometimes you feel like the younger siblings get more attention and get farther in life, but she needs to have better morals. For you it's ok to feel what ur feeling, but ur sister needs to be prepared for the worst. Most times parents will kick their children out of the house at an age like that becuz she's really old enough to survive on her own and she most likely could find a job that doesn't require full education for now. I mean, she could go and pick up a job at a local mall or fast food joint.

Smoking is another huge money crisis that will overwhelm her so it's best to make sure that she stops smoking by using the patch, or gum. She should try picking up another better habit like chewing gum or even a hobby in her spare time. Its best to stay out of her business as much as possible becuz as a smoker she may become grumpier and moodier than usual. Just continue to pray for her and help ur parents out by doing a couple of extra things for them that will help them feel better about the whole situation. It's really a great thing that u're doing for her, it shows that u really care about her, but just remember to not follow in her foot steps. It's best to make ur own way instead of following hers. Good luck and remember, God's always with u.

xoxo Question Candace oxox

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