MyPainIsReal's advice column

You said you have been through divorce so mayb you can help me! I'm 13/f if that helps. Well my mom and dad didn't really love eachother anymore..but they have 2 kids (me and my brother who is 16) and they didnt want to divorce cuz of us. My dad started goin online, postin his pix and talkin to girls, and he found this girl who lives in the same state as us. They met twice and then he decided to move in with her!!! One night when we were all sleepin, he packed all the stuff he needed and she picked him up! He wrote this long letter to us and he left it on the coffee table. He wont let us visit him but he says he's gonna call from time to time. I am sooo fuckin mad and shit! My dad said he's going to send $400 every month for child support I guess..and my mom agreed. My mom is actin like nothing happened! Were not poor, but were not rich..and without my dad idk how were going to survive! My brother is gonna get a job, and when I turn 14 I'm gonna work too. But still..its just not fair! My mom works at f*ing Target and the Movie Theatres! My dad was the one with a real job and he paid all the bills. my mom worked just so she could pay for food, sports, etc. So without my dad its going to be hard. My brother and I are handling this pretty well. We quit our sports teams, and told my mom we didnt need allowance. I'm acting like everything is ok..but I just dont know how to deal with all of this. I havent seen my dad in a month, and I probably wont ever see him again. Sorry its so long. But I dont know what to do! Help meh! Thnx so much for readin!

Well, let me tell you. A similar thing happened with me. My mom and dad got to where they didn't exactly love each other in the in love sort of way. Mom met this guy at work and they started talking to each other. Dad didn't know for a while. And dad had a sickness that caused him to be mean. But then he got medicine and got better. Mom said she didn't want to stay cause dad was so mean. But he got medicine and wasn't like that anymore. So mom was talking to this guy. Dad and I worked for weeks doing all we could to get her to stay. We cleaned, cooked, bought her things. One day we bought her something and made her a card and that same day she left to live with that guy! All I could do was cry. She packed her things and left. She came back a couple times and finally got it all. She is now living with this guy and he is older than her which pissed me off. I know how you feel right now. I didn't talk to my mom for the longest time. And I haven't seen her in a month or two either. All this happened over the summer. We didn't think we had the money to live either. We had a lot of money problems for a long time. We had to give up some things. Be cheaper about food and such. Truth be told, you're dad abandoned you. He left, took all his things and everything. If you went to court he could get into a lot of trouble over this. And for two kids, he needs to be paying a lot more than $400. My mom is paying $300 for just me. You should be getting more, you need more considering the circumstances. I am sure your mom cares about the situation. She is just trying to be strong for you guys and that is good, so don't think she doesn't care about it. I know it sucks to move, but it's going to make your life as easy as possible until you can get back up on your feet with money and such. Just make the best of it. I know how much it hurts. You're mad at your dad, and you don't see how he could do this to you, right? I felt the same way. True, your brother should be able to have more of a life, but really it's a good thing until you guys get back on your feet with things. Just make sure he doesn't work too much. Watch out for him. I think you three should sit down as a family and talk. It's not going to solve your money problems but it is going to make you feel a heck of a lot better. Sit, talk, cry with each other. My dad and I sat and talked and cried with each other and felt better. We stayed strong and we are doing fine now. We can pay the bills now. We don't have a ton of money to spare, but life is good. I think your parents had problems and didn't try to do things about it. I'm sure your dad is going to regret what he's done and isn't going to have anywhere to go one day. But I don't know about that, I am just assuming. Perhaps your mom could get into contact with your father and see if there is any hope in him coming home. But to be honest, it would never be the same in your home. If you need a way to feel better, write poetry, draw pictures, read, listen to music, hang out with a friend to talk to about it. You and your brother and mother just need to be there for each other, stay strong and do everything you can to make it. Chaning schools isn't very fun, I know this. But truth be told considering everything, it'll be good for you. You won't have as many money problems. I know you might be thinking you don't know what you're talking about, it sucks. If you need anyone to talk to, IM me on AIM. My screen name is SwEeTxKiSsEz x16. I'll do my best to be there for you. It's really not as bad as it seems. I know it's hard to deal with. I have bad nerves thanks to a lot of things in my life but if you stay strong and are there for your family, you'll be better. Please if you need to talk, IM me or e-mail me. My e-mail is crazibabikrissi@adelphia.net. I'd write more but it's a bit hard to explain without talking to you on IM. I hope I made you feel better a little bit. I know how all this feels inside and I know it sucks a lot so just email or w/e and I'll be there for you sweetie. :)

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(Rating: 5) Thanks, I'll IM u sometime!!!

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