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Hey, it's Kristen. I'm 17. I'm here to give you advice honestly and straight forward so ask!


advice

i've never had a boyfriend, im 13 and i havent even kissed one person.....i really just want to have a boyfriend, that and to get more experienced, but, how? also is there something im doing wrong that makes guys un-attracted to me?

Just because you haven't had any of that doesn't mean you are un-attractive to guys. You're only 13. You have plenty of time to meet guys and date. Don't feel like you are moving too slow on the train. You're on just the right speed. Don't worry about getting too awfully experienced. You're not doing anything wrong. You're only 13 and so are the guys and it usually takes guys longer to come around at that age than girls. They are just now getting into the girl stage. Just talk to some guys and flirt a little and see where it takes you. Maybe you will really click with one of the guys and you will have a boyfriend. It's really nothing to rush and I am proud to know you are 13 and still haven't kissed someone. Teenagers move too fast these days so hold on to that kiss for that someone special. Let your first kiss be memberable. First kisses always suck but atleast if it sucks it'll be with someone you really care about. The best way to get into the dating scene is just to talk to guys and get to know them and see if anything clicks. :) Hope i helped

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Hi I am 17 years old girl. I have not seen my boyfriend for a while and will not be seeing him for another two weeks. And I feel scared. I don't get to see him or really get to talk to him but that's not either of our faults. It kind of feels like we aren't together. Can my feelings weaken because I feel like we aren't together then get strong again when I see him when he gets home?please help me
*Heather

I can totally relate to you with this and I can tell you that it will be okay. My boyfriend is in CA right now. He went for the summer for 2 months. I was sacred too. Scared I wouldn't love him as much when he came home. And we didn't get to talk much for a while. He also is coming home in two weeks. Now, do you really care about this boy? If you do, then you need to stay strong and stick it out. Take a moment to think of how much you care about him. Do you care enough to wait it out till you can see him? It's going to feel like your feelings are weakening and that's normal. But if you really care when you finally get to see him it's all going to come back to you and you'll feel amazing. Value every moment you do get to speak to him and think positive and remember that in two weeks you get to see him. Try not to worry or dwell on anything. As long as you care about this boy and you stay strong to the fact you'll get to see him soon it'll be okay. But it's all up to how much you care. I think if you stay strong once he gets home it'll all be okay and you'll feel just fine dear. I'm going through the same thing and I know it's not easy. But I stay positive and rmemeber he'll be back with me soon and I value every phone call we have and every instant message cuz it's time and time is what matters when one you care for is away. So stay strong and try not to worry. It'll be okay as soon as he gets home. Two weeks, it seems like forever I know but it's really not. So get excited dear, your baby is coming home to you!!!

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I have been dating my boyfriend for 3 months and due to my work schedules I never get to see him.I really like him and he really likes me but we only see each other every other saturday.DO you think it is a good idea to continue dating?

A lot of couples with jobs and busy lives like that only see each other once a week but they do just fine. This is is really up to you though. I mean do you get along great and value your time together even though you only see him once a week? If you do then why call it off over one small challenge? Seeing each other too much can put a damper on a relationship beucase you see too much of each other. So why worry. Your schedule will lighten up eventually and you'll get to see him more at some point. So as long as your both happy and you love the time you to spend together you and you like each other, don't end it. Keep it going strong and let it grow. Who knows, you could be together for a long time just beucase of the fact you didn't smother each other in spending time together at the beginning of the relationship. A lot of relationships fail cuz they spend too much time together in the first 6 months of the relationship and get bored. So if I were you, I'd keep dating and jsut see where it all takes you. :)

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Whats some good tips to keep a relationship alive that is with two people tat are trulely in love but dont see eachother a lot? we talk evreyday... anwere from 2-7 hours on the phone and atlest 2 hohurs on the internet a day... but we go like a mont without seeing eachother until January when we'll see eachother like evrey weekend... [[he lives 35-40 minutes away]]

This is always a tough situation to deal with. There really aren't many tips. If you talk that much it sounds like you're doing fine. But value the time you spend together for all it's worth and try to avoid arguing or any confrontation at all when you get to see each other. You gotta value the time you have and not take advantage if you're only seeing him once a month. Keep your conversations flowing in a positive direction. Try not to focus on the fact you aren't seeing each other a lot. Look forward to the fact seeing each other is coming up and say I love you often. Be there for each other and just love each other with all your might, ya know? Be positive and keep the conversation a live. Make each other laugh and joke around. Keep each other happy and entertained with each other. It's all about just loving each other and being there and talking on the phone, ya know? It'll all work out wonderful once you get to see him once a weekend

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ok i have i boyfriend and i like him a real lott but today i saw my friends cuzzent and i thought he was cute and thinks im hott but i like my boyfriend and i feel bad i fell like im cheeting on him because i sorda started flurting with her cuzzent now i feel so bad what should i do

You aren't cheating just beucase you thought some other dude was hot. You didn't physically touch him or act apon it or anything. Now, you're only 13 which means you're going to go through a lot of guys anyways. So what you need to do is really think here. All you did was think this guy was hot and he thought you were hot. What do you really know about this guy? Think about it. I'm sure you know a lot more about your boyfriend than you did this guy you think is hot, right? I think you should just be friends with this guy and get to know him. If you start to like him then that's just where your feelings took you and you'd have to let your boyfriend know you though it was time you split. But just beucase you talk to this guy doesn't mean you're cheating on your boyfriend. Talking never hurt anyone unless you flirt and such. But sweetie, you're 13. There's gonna be tons more guys you see that think you're hot and you think they are hot and it'll end up meaning nothing. So really, just get to know this dude and see where your feelings take you. You aren't cheating unless you kiss him and stuff like that. So no worries, don't stress. It's all just part of being a teenage girl surrounded by many cute boys just waiting to talk to you. ;) xo

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how to find that a boy fancys you if you fancy them

What? Could you rephrase that question and I'll try to answer it. I'm not quite sure what you're asking, cuz you asked it in a odd way.

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ok heres my quest. this guy i have known for about 3 years and i liked him alot.we acted like we were dating for awhile but it wasn't afficial. now that were dating im falling for him really hard and the problem is he seems like he likes me at somepoints other times he just pushes me away. i know he don't feel like i do. all i get told is to leave him. help me out on this plz i dont know what to do. if i should stay or forget?oh ya im 16 years old and im a female.

When you say get told do you mean you're peers and family and such? Well if that is the case, it's not their place to tell you if you should leave a guy or not. That is up to what you feel and what you think is right. All guys are dickheads, it's a fact. You should probably ask him about how he feels. Because there might be a reason he is pushing you away. So you should ask him how he feels about you and stuff. Because if you are falling hard like you say you are, you don't want to get too involved and then him decide he doesn't feel the same way enough to be with you. That would suck and hurt you too much. So just ask him how he feels about you and what's going on in his prospective. And whatever he says in reply will tell you if you should be with him and keep trying or if you should break up before you fall too hard. Let me know how it goes and if you need anymore help on this after you talk to him about it, let me know. xo

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If you always say love u to your bf when he is signing off n he says it back its all good. what does it mean when u've said it twice that day and he hasn't said it back. but he was leaving cause he had 20mins to get a shower n eat before a bball game that he said i didnt have to go to (its 45mins away) but he still gave me directions. am i just over reacting cause he didnt say 3 words?

That really isn't anything to worry too much over. It sounds to that he was in a big hurry to get himself ready and out the door to get to this game so it probably just slipped his mind to say it. Guys do that. If you're really that worried about it, just ask him why he didn't say it. But be nice about it, you don't want to piss him off. I seriously doubt he has any other reasoning to say it, just giving the situation and moment that it did or didn't happen. But I respect that you're upset. Saying "I love you" can be very important to girls. x0

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..... Okay, so I don't know him and he's a junior and from what i hear he's pretty shy, but i don't want to make a fool of myself, what is the best way to get him to notice me without making me look dumb?

Find out who his friends are. Have your friends help you if necessary. Talk to the people he knows and ask them a little about him without being obvious. Then mention "well id like to get to know him". One of them well for sure want to help you with that.

Or, if you aren't up for that. When you see him in the hall, just look at him smile, and say hi. He'll notice you if you speak to him. And maybe it will slowly grow from there. Then one day, you can start talking, have a conversation.

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Okay so I met this guy (we are both 16) and we hit it off. spent like 10 hours together he was totally flirting holding hands cuddling and he would just stare at me and would always sit next to me and he tried to kiss me and such.. (it was a church retreat. We were helpers lol for the little kids) so at the end of the night when its time to leave and we are right next to each other in the seat but my friend is between us and he got up and kept looking back at me and then he just left no good bye and didn’t ask for a number or anything! what does that mean? What happened?

It's hard to tell, guys can be confusing and misleading. He could have just been looking for a good time for a day and then that was it, or he could have just not asked since your friend was between you. Seeings he kept looking back at you. He probably didn't want to come ask you and be rude with your friend there, or maybe he was just too shy. It's really hard to tell why he didn't. It seems as though he fancys you. Are you going to see this boy again? You really should try to get in to contact with him and ask him what is going on and if he had a good time and such. You can never be sure unless you get the reassurance. Because I don't understand why he'd be so sweet to you, looking back at you, and not like you in the slightest bit. Really, get in touch with him. That's all I can say. That's a really tough thing to answer. I can't give you a straight answer, because this boy didn't give you clear signs at all in his actions of not asking for a number, or saying he had a good time or anything. Good luck, let me know how it goes in feedback, and if you need anything else, let me know. Xo

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Ok well me n this guy have been friends for awhile. he told me he likes me but him and his girlfriend are on break. He is waiting to see whats gunna happen with her. I really like him and want a chance. He tells me he really wants to be with me and wants a chance too. I dont know what to do. Should I wait or just give up? HELP ME! I'll rate. x0x

You should just wait. If it's meant, you'll get him. If not, then that's that. If you push the issue, he'll probably get turned off by that and just say forget it. So don't push, wait patiently, if he thinks it's what HE wants then he'll come to you, if not, well don't sweat it. There are only a million other guys in the world that would probably love to date you. :) Good luck, xo

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im almost 14 and i still havent been kissed or had a boyfriend is that normal??? I feel like im abnormalk or something...

It's normal. I know it seems like EVERYONE is dating and making out. But that is not true. I am in the 8th grade among many 14 year olds and TONS of them haven't had boyfriends or girlfriends or been kissed. Teens these days grow up fast and that's probably why a lot of us have been kissed. Consider yourself a lucky one. You haven't had a boyfriend or been kissed at a young age, so you haven't had to deal with the hurt yet. Your time will come and probably soon. x0

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20, male.

Okay, the girl I'm going out with and I are sitting watching TV. We've only been dating for a few days, but I've been her friend since before elementary school. She mentions a mutual friend was talking about a movie that we passed. So I, the idiot that I am, accidently call her by the friend's name. She pulled away from me for a few seconds, and then went into my arms again.

I explained that it was only because she mentioned her name seconds before, but is that enough? Should I try to explain in detail that I have no feelings for this other girl or should I drop it?

If she seconds later went back into your arms then she doesn't care but so much. I wouldn't drag on about it. Just drop it. If she had a problem with it, she'd let you know in some way or another that you could tell by. You made a common mistake among people so it's nothing to worry over.

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I actually have 2 kinda random questions. Number 1. How do you get to the music part of xanga? I can't figure it out.
Number 2. okay, right, i like hanging out with guys for no apparent reason, but for some reason, all of my guy friends always think i'm interested in them in a different way. Some even get mad when they find out i don't like them that way, i don't want to get into that kinda relationship with a friend. What do i do?

1. This website has a long list of songs: http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=xanga_music When you find the song you like, right click and go to properties. Highlight the Url you will see and copy it or click Ctrl C on your keyboard and that will also copy it. Being logged into your Xanga website, go to the Look & Feel. Somewhere on this page, there will be a part that says Music Url or something of that sort. Paste the Url that you copied when you went to properties and check the box that says "loop". Then save your changes. Problem one solved.


2. If they are getting this type of hint from you, then you are probably a naturally flirty person with your friends and you just don't realize it. That is totally common in people. I sometimes find myself in that problem and it will cause trouble at times. Next time you are hanging out with your friends, pay attention to the way you act. Are you flirtacious? A little on the friendly side? If so, that would be why. If I were you, I would just try to be a little less flirty with them and try to see them as someone like a borther maybe? Flirting isn't bad, it can just be misconcepted. Though you may not like them, it may seem like it. They probably get mad because they may like you so be careful or you might hurt one of their feelings. If you don't want them getting the wrong idea then try not to flirt cause I'm pretty sure that may be the problem at hand. :)


I hope I helped. x0x0

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Okay,I was with this girll for like the longest time..Months & months.Everything was good then suddenly she broke up with me..She didnt give a reason.she still tells my friends she loves me but isnt with me again & I dont get It.should I talk to her or would that make her mad??:(

You should talk to her. Depending on how you talk to her and what you say will depend on if you make her mad or not. Girls are very sensitive and one wrong thing said can either make us cry, piss us off, etc. I suggest you talk to her. Ask her what is the honest truth of why she broke up with you. Just try to be cool about it and say you won't get mad, and you won't hate her because you love her, right? You just want to know the truth so you can move on if that is what she wants. I can't tell you why she broke up with you, I can only assume what I know as a girl. She could have been scared of the commitment and got rid of it. She could like someone else. She could have some personal issues that she just needed to be on her own with, so she broke up with you. All that I have just said could be wrong. Just talk to her. Be nice and curtious about it and hopefully she'll do the same. If she still loves you, she should understand your curiosity to know why something so real, so perfect, just ended. Good luck with it and if you need anymore help, please let me know. x0

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ok well theres this kid i like, and i just realized i like him, and he hasnt been picking up his phone and he hasnt been online, and i miss him so much, and it really got to me last night because i almost started crying, and its depressing me because i havent talked to him yet.

Had a sort of similar situation myself last night. But that's a different story. I wouldn't get too upset about it. Gettin upset will only make matters worse. Try to keeo your composure. He could have a good reason for not answering his phone and the best thing you can do is find out so you won't be upset n such. Approach him in person is all I can say. Ask him what he's been up to and mention you haven't talked to him in a long time. And if he blows you off, he's probably a jackass anyways. Or he could like you, and be avoiding it. Guys are odd. Talk to him and don't be shy about it. Good luck, if you need anymore help on it, let me know.

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how do you let a guy know that u like him, but now being to obvious but by giving him little hints so maybe he will ask you out?

Flirt a little. When you see him, drop him a smile. Do little favors for him that just seem like you're trying to be a good friend. Get his phone number and call him maybe once a week just to talk. That stuff isn't too obvious. Good luck.

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ok heres the thing: my best friend is kinda going out with this guy and im kinda jealous of the guy...heres the problem...my best friends a girl...so am i...am i jealous of the fact the she likes him (as in i like her too) or am i just jealous of the attention shes giving to him?

Ok, no one can really tell you if you like her. You could. That is something you yourself are going to have to sit down and think about to know. Think long and hard to figure it out. Why do you like her? You could be jealous. I've found myself like that. And a lot of people do. Mostly girls. Sometimes, when you're best friend has a significant other and you don't have that you just get jealous. It's natural, and normal. You want what she has. Totally understandable. Think about if you like her or not and you'll figure out if you like her or if you are just jealous. No one can tell you. It's all in what you feel. Xo

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Do you think its wrong for a tenth grader to like a seventh grader even if the seventh grader is supposed to be in eighth grade? Im a female tenth grader and theres this male seventh grader thats hella kewl....what do you think?

Well, it's a bit abnormal for a tenth grade girl to be interested in a erm, eighth grade boy. But there's nothing wrong with it so go ahead. xo

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hey! firstly, i loved your column!
secondly = my problem!
ok, so this is the deal..i met this wonderful guy this summer, but he has a GF. Anyway, we spent 6 weeks together and we made out, held hand and all that (IT WAS WONDERFUL!) please dont tell me what i did was wrong, i know it was but i dont care cuz i love him, i really do. And he's told me that he loves me too. We made a deal yesterday (he's been with his GF for about 2 years, and he says he loves her too) he said, he doesnt want to cheat on her anymore cuz he loves her but if the feeling is right-something could happen between us this summer. And i was like: what do you mean? and he asnwered: well, im gonna have my place all to my self this summer soo..who knows what could happen between us!? ;) anyway, i live in japan and he lives in america so we only see eachother during the summer. Hmm, id ont really know what my question is..im just so cofused..i love him so much, and i miss him..i really dont give a damn about his GF (i know i sound like an evil person, but i really really really love him, i cant help i.)Is there anything i can do to get over him? should i even try to get over him? should i sleep with him? (he's 18 and im 14) what's gonna happen between us? ( sorry, i know you cant answer that question) he's just so amazing i dont know what to do. Alot of guys like me here in japan, but i dont like anyone of them im just soo stuck on joshua.
Help! please?- mariana

Well first off this a really tough situation for you and I'm going to have to be a little blunt truth about it. I want you to think about something. In America it is illegal for people over 18 to date or be sexually active with people under the age of 16 because that is age of consent. Seeings you are still a teenager and this boy has entered his adult years, don't you find it a little odd that he wants to sleep with you? He is much older and says he loves his girlfriend. Does he say he loves you? If not, he probably just wants to sleep with you but we don't know this for sure. I honestly think you should try and get over him. You only see him over the summer, he's in a different country, and he has a girlfriend who he claims to love very much so that shows he's not going to give her up. Perhaps you could try dating some guys that like you where you live for a while. Try it out and see what happens. It's really the best for you to prevent any danger. Try to get over him. Focus your mind on your school work, friends, write poems, write in a journal. Anything to help you get over him. If you really aren't interested in getting over him although that is a good idea, I wouldn't sleep with him. Think about it, you're 14. Are you a virgin? Well anywho, do you really want to have sex with a guy who has a girlfriend that he doesn't want to give up? And personally in my opinion. If he loves his girlfriend so much he wouldn't be wanting to do things with you. That just shows he is a scumbag anyways and he doesn't deserve you. Think about it, if you dated, he might mess with some other girl like he's doing to his girlfriend. I hope I've been of some help, think about all of that for me. :)

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