About mysticpixie05
Hey Everyone. My name is Barbie. I am 22. Working full time and in college. I'm here to give advice to serious questions, not to share my whole life story. I've not been active until recently. All of the questions I've answered on here, as you see are very old and out dated. I will no longer answer silly questions, but only more serious ones. If you want my opinon, ask me a question. I'm 100% honest to the best of my knowledge, blunt, and to the point. If that's what you're looking for, then you've come to the right place. If not, then my apologies, but you can go to some one else who will sugar coat things for you and make you hear what you want to hear.
*~Never take one day for granted~*
*Always be yourself. Dont be some one your not because of somebody else!*
Life's a bitch... so you deal with it and get over it
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Gender: Female
Location: Pa
Age: 22
Member Since: June 4, 2004
Answers: 808
Last Update: July 11, 2010
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When I was 13 I found out that I have a sister that had been put up for adoption. I had grown up thinking that I had two sisters and it was devistating to think that I had another one that I may never know and be able to love. So, I swore that one day I would find her. Back in March I did find her. I had searched for so long that I really felt that I would never find her and when I did I was afraid that since I grea up in a dysfunctional family and we weren't wealthy or anything that we wouldn't be good enough for her. Well, she is wonderful. We went through the DNA testing and when we found out it was just amazing. She came out for a visit in April and since then I have gone to see her twice. We live in seperate states. The two sisters and I that grew up together have the same father but she (2nd to the oldest) has a different father. My father is dead now (long story) but our mother is still living. Mom has a long history of drug abuse and she does not want my Sister to know about it.
This is my question. I think that she is noticing that Mom isn't as close to her as she is our oldest and youngest sisters. They e-mail and Mom calls about once a month or so but she and I talk weekly and on the internet every night. The other two sisters rarely e-mail her and they don't call her. I know that she doesn't feel as connected to the family as she would like to and I feel responsible because I was the one that went looking for her. There are times that she tells me that it really hurts her feelings and I am not sure what to say.
I love her so much, she is just fantastic and had a terrible life growing up. Her adopted Dad wound up in prison and her adopted Mom comitted suicide when she was a teenager. I know that she has abandonment issues because of all of that and now I am scared that meeting her bio family is just adding to those issues because of their distance. I wouldn't take for knowing and having the chance to be in my sister's life and her in mine but sometimes I feel so guilty for causing her even more grief.
Did I do the right thing by finding her or was I just being selfish because I missed her so much being in my life? I am just afraid that my love for her just isn't enough to make up for all of the time that she has done without and now that she has found her bio family that maybe the dream of what they were was better than what we are.
Confusing and long I know but anyone with input would be appreciated.
I dont think you did any wrong by wanting to know your own sister. Just think that if you wouldnt have went and look and wouldnt have given a rats ass about it, you wouldnt have a relationship so close to her and maybe later in life you would have regretted not even caring to look for her. When she tells you how bad it hurts, tell her about the childhood you had. Let her know that your family wanst the best either. I dont think that it is so much grief your causing her as much as happiness for having you. I think she is glad to have you , have someone to talk to about things and someone who really cares. So good luck ! i wish the two of you the best of luck with everything.
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Thank you!
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