|
|
What keeps you goin evryday? why do you wake up and do the things you do? making coffee,makin love? is life worth it?
I'm in a rut. Right now I'm stuck in a 60-70 hour a week job that screws me out of overtime, keeps me from home and friends, and drains me physically and emotionally. I can't buy or do anything fun because all my extra money is being thrown into savings in case we move this summer. The house is a constant mess, I don't have the time to hit the gym like I want to, and just sitting down and watching a movie is too time consuming.
I'm in autonomous mode. I'm a machine right now, just doing well enough to not get yelled at. I can't quit my job because while I am not getting paid what I work for, I am still getting paid more than I would getting a new job, especially one with less hours. Not to mention, we're living paycheck to paycheck anyway so I can't take a pay cut. My girlfriend has her teaching certificate and if she gets a job outside of town, we're up and moving in 3 months, so I don't have time to find and settle a new career.
So why do I do it?
I do it knowing that things can only get better. If we don't move, I'll take a different job and sludge through the bills somehow. I'll still be broke, but I'll be happier. If we do move, she'll have a decent job and I could afford one with a pay cut. Once we settle down and catch up financially, I could go to wrestling school and the gym as I so badly want to.
Also, I'm agnostic and I don't really know what's waiting for us on the other side. I'm not ready to jump in and find out, nor do I believe anyone here knows the correct answer, so I'm going to take this life I have and use it as I see fit. I don't want to look back and feel like I've wasted it. Right now I'm all about surviving until our circumstances change; and if they don't, I'll force them to.
[view]
(5)
WOW! I thought *I* had a lot going on worrying me? good luck in your situation and your attitude is awesome! I am so glad you are on this site and thank you!
| |
