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June 29, 2011Answers:
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< I am a Christian and I am a mother >Hello all. I am a 36 year old married mother of three boys. I have my degree in Forensic psychology and business management- human resources, I work in social services while juggling my three children and a marriage. When I originally joined this community I was excited to get back into what I love and that is helping people through listening, understanding, and guidance. However I quickly found that through my desire to help others, others are helping me. I have found my advice column beyond rewarding. I have found myself getting extremely passionate about each and every question that I read and respond to. The more the questions the greater the connection I have found between people of all walks of life, ages groups, races, gender, and religion. What I have found to be our greatest bind is love. Love for others and the love of being loved.
advice
I can never go to the toilet, I can only go after alcohol , I have bad stomach acke all the time , full of gas , and my stomach feels like its tensing.on a night my stomach bloats to a size I look at leaste sik months pregnant, and carnt even breath out. My weight up and down I have a under active thyroid , I'm only 22 .it make me feel down .. After 4-7 days I start sicking my food up , find it hard to keep bit portions down ,, I each healthy and drink plenty of water ,
This only started 4 yrs ago after having a child however has got considerabley worse .. However when I go it not a strain it normal ..
Do not do what the columist before me said to do. You have a very serious medical problem that needs attention immediately. Please see your doctor ASAP!! There are a number of things that could be causing this problem so you definately need to be seen right away. If you went to the emergency room I wouldn't be a bit surprised if they admitted you right away. It sounds similar to Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS. This problem can lead to other problems which can be even more dangerous. But do not diagnois this problem yourself nor should you treat the problem with anything including laxatives until a doctor tells you to do so. You may cause more harm than good by doing this. Please see your doctor ASAP! You deserve a healthy and happy life and you can not continue this way.
I have recently given my boyfriend head and hand for the first time (first time I have ever done both too). It was okay I guess (he seemed to of enjoyed it lol). But I'm not sure if I want to do it again. About 3 days after I gave head I got a few pimples around my mouth.. It can't of been herpes though because they looked like normal pimples and they went away after about 3-4 days. But is there a chance if it could be?
Also I am planning on losing my virginity when I am 18. (I am currently 15.) Does that seem a bit strange though? The reason is because I don't want to be a pregnant teenager. It scares me so much I don't want it to happen to me. But there are things that can stop pregnancy but sometimes it all doesn't work. I am really confused if I was too do it as a teenager I would wait until I am 16 (legal age). Could someone please help me?
Also it's annoying giving head and hand so... I am definitely not planning on doing it again any time soon.
You are an intelligent girl with a great head on your shoulders, and I am so proud of you for making a responsible decision to wait. Why not wait until marriage since you're waiting until 18. I'm telling you that you are a comodity. I promise you any man worth having would appreciate a virgin over an experienced girl any day. Take your time and enjoy your youth. THere is nothing to be embarrased about as far as waiting for that special someone. My mother is a virgin and she is 70 years old. How can that be you ask??? She adopted both my sister and I because she is a CHristain and never married and does not want to fornicate. My 26 year old sister is also a virgin. You may be surprised at the number of pure people out there. So be proud of yourself.
As for the bumps around your mouth I think it's because of the spit that may have formed while giving oral sex. You may notice young children that drool or babies tend to have small pimples around their mouths and that is simply due to moisture sitting in the same place for a period of time. I highly doubt you have an std. Not that it is impossible but herpes is very distinct and doesn't clear up so quickly it is also very itchy and uncomfortable and very unattractive to say the least.
Please see a gynocologist soon though if you plan on continuing with any sexual activities. We all want you to be safe and live a healthy life. You are a wonderful girl and I pray that my young children will be just as responsible as you have been. Great job and keep it up!
But When I Do All This Will My Parents Still Have Control Over Me Or Can I Leave And Be Independent?
This may be a repeat answer becasue I got an error message earlier.
First you are NEVER a bother.
I'm afraid that unless your parents are abusing you, you will still be under their control in some ways. You see, becasue you are now pregnant the state looks at you as if you need more help and support so emancipation really wouldn't be a good option as far as they are concerned. I might be completely wrong though because each case is different.
A lady just called me and wants you to give her a call ASAP. Her number is 210-710-9160 She has a lot of helpful information financial and supportive. One thing I would recommend, whom ever you speak with push the issue that your boyfriend is the ONLY support system you have and that he is 100% supportive and wants to be involved in every aspect of you and the baby's life. You may even want to tell them that he will be put out of his home too if you have the baby. Perhaps that will help in getting a place for the three of you.
I'm so sorry you are going through this. I was in a similar situation however I was 25 when I got pregnant the first time. My mother is a devot Christian and didn't want the embarrassment of her church and co workers. She made some of the most hurtful comments. She even called my unborn son a bastered. She made my pregnancy a living hell. But don't you know it she is crazy about my son now. He can do no wrong and she loves him to death. I'm sure your parents will come around as well. But, it will be awhile.
I think once you are given a place to stay and all the help you need they will try to implement a positive relationship between you and your family so that they can also be your support system. Thats why I'm leaning towards thinking they will not free you from your parents control.
I'm so sorry I'm so far away. I wish I could give you the biggest hug and tell you everything will be ok. Because it will. Yes, it's going to be a tough road but you can do it.
A very good friend of mine was in your exact situation. Once the baby was born her parents hearts soften and they loved her baby girl with all their hearts. The girl I'm speaking of was 15 when she had the baby and is now 22 married to her daughters father. They actually just moved to Texas and are doing great! Good jobs, beautiful home and two beautiful children. I can totally see that for you.
Remember you are NEVER a bother. I'm here for you :)
19/f in uk
For the past 3 years I've had an embarrassing problem- I have uncontrollable diarrhea, abdominal pain and fatigue at random times for weeks to months at a time. My GP tested me for a few illnesses with blood tests but nothing came out positive. She then told me I have chronic fatigue, IBS and depression. (I may have depression but I really don't think I have the other two as a few Rheumatologists I saw said I definitely do not have chronic fatigue.) After that my GP treated me like I was purposely exaggerating my symptoms whenever I went to see her, so I eventually stopped seeing her.
I've ended up missing a lot of school because of feeling sick so had to redo my last A-level year. I thought I would be sitting my exams this summer but I suddenly got a 39 degree fever during my first week of exams. It lasted for 4 weeks so I ended up in A&E and they sent me to a hospital ward. There they did every possible test imaginable from MRI, CT, PET, Xray and tonnes of blood tests but never actually found out anything specifically wrong with me. A few lymph nodes and gallbladder lit up on my PET scan but they werent sure why they were and I lost 5kg of weight because of nausea and bad appetite.
After being discharged I was sent to see some gastro doctors. They did more blood tests. I also recently had a gastroscopy and colonoscopy with biopsies (which were both surprisingly horrible as the sedation didn't knock me out at all). The biopsy results haven't come back yet but my insides appeared normal through the camera probes.
I now have to apply to uni (for the third time!) and try to finally sit my A-levels in December. I'm really worried I will never find out what's wrong with me and just be told to get on with it. I feel so abnormal because no-one else I know has had this sort of problem. My normal school friend mainly drifted away and the few I still am in contact with are always at uni and traveling. And because they can't find anything the doctors say there's nothing wrong with me. When I was 16 I felt so excited about my future but but now I feel like an old woman.
Sorry for the rant but could I please have any helpful advice I could try to stay afloat both mentally and physically? thanks
Have you gone to see any American doctors. Sometimes they have procedures other countries don't offer but it sounds to me like you may Celiac Disease or Ulcerative Colitis or Irritable Bowel Syndrome, or Crohn’s disease. Parasites in the stomach like threadworm, tape worm, giardiasis can also cause these symptoms. Hence a stool test is a must. Problems of gall bladder and liver or that of pancreas too cannot be ignored.
I would strongly recommend you to see a gastroenterologist in the US.
I'm so sorry you are suffering this way but the next doctor you see demand that they listen to you and pay attention and not just dismiss you. They are paid to help not ignore. Call everyday, visit the office everyday, get 2nd, 3rd, 4th opinions because this is your life and you matter. Who cares if the doctors are annoyed by your persistance they are there to help and you make sure they do. Good luck sweetie. You don't deserve to live life this way.
Does a hicky show up right after u kissed ages 12 to 11
Hickies show up immediately. It is NOT trashy to have a hicky, and quite common for someone your age. It is however not the best look in the professional world. It can give others the impression that you are something that you are not so try to stear clear of giving and getting hickies. There are so many other ways to show your affection for someone in a classier way. But, you are young and experimenting so don't worry about it but leave it at hugs and kisses. You have the rest of your life to try out other intimate things. So, enjoy your youth and be the respectable person that I know you are.
So i really want to lose weight but i dont want to take dieting pills so is there any other way that i can lose weight? please help!!
I'm sure you know the obvious answer eat less work out more. That being said here are a few tips that helped me lose 60lbs within 5 months. Drink lots of water. Cut out all sugary drinks. Eat cereal such as cheerios. Eat lots of fiber before your meals. If you want to see results quickly don't eat any "meals" just snack throughout the day. Whatever you eat be sure it isn't more than the size of your fist and then be finished with your eating until your next snack. If you drink alcohol cut that out completely.
The best excersises are walking/jogging/running if you can do it pain free. Then to lift light weights. Building muscle speeds up the metabolism causing weight loss. Go to the zoo. You will get in a lot of workout simply waling around.
The best advice SWIMMING! It's easy on your body and works all kinds of muscle without you realizing you are working out. Sex burns calories like crazy too.
If you would like me to give you an exact workout plan and diet plan let me know and I will make one up for you and send it to you right away. If this is of interest to you I need to know your age height and current weight and the body style you are going for. Good luck and I know you can do it. I did it after three kids and you can too :)
I have guets in my home and they have a 3 month old. Her is my problem she will not put her breat pumps away after she usees them they lay out on my counter , in my sink or in the dis drainer. I have asled ther nicely to put them away after she is done using them,What can or should I do to get them to know that this is wrong in so many ways.
Your request is unreasonable. How do you see it as wrong is so many ways? Breast pumps are for feeding a baby. It's not a sex toy. It's a nessity for breast feeding mothers. If you have ever breast fed a baby and used a pump then you will know that you need your pumps easily available to you at all times. Now if she is leaving access milk dripping from them all over your sink, counter or what ever else then that is a problem that should be addressed but to pack them away after each use is near impossible and incrediably inconvient not to mention unsanitary. They must sit out to dry and putting them away will only contaminate them. When your breast fill up with milk they must be pumped right away. She doesn't have time to thouroughly wash them.
I'm not sure what sort of guest she is: relative, friend or what but if this is such an issue for you perhaps you should suggest she find a place to live where nursing mothers are appreciated. Being a mother to a newborn is incrediably hard emotionally, mentally, financially, and physically. The least you could do is be understanding of her trying to give her baby the healthiest start possible. Believe you me breast pumps sitting out will be the least of your problems when housing a family with a new born. So for your own sanity and the sanity of your house guests they really should find a new place to live because your lists of complaints have only just begun. This family needs a support system and you don't seem to be the right fit.
Ok so one time.....i thought i was in luv.....i was in luv.... but one time we were with a group of friends and no one knew how i felt and how he said he felt....and he said in front of everyone that i liked him and he only pretended to like me and it waz all fake and he broke my heart and really embarrassed me and this was years ago.
Now i REALLY like this guy and we hang out a lot and talk and are really close friends and dont keep secrets from each other. I think he likes me bak and he has been giving lots of signs but he also has been giving lots of mixed signs, my friends and i and also some of his friends thinks he likes me but i am not sure.
I am afraid that if he ever asks me out or if he says he likes me and i say i like him bak, it would of been a joke or a dare from a friend so he would of made a big deal out of it or go off telling all his friends and embarrassing me because sometimes he is that sort of guy that makes big deals out of every thing or goes of telling his friends even though we are great friends too.
am i just afraid of telling people in after what happened or just feeling insecure.
THere is nothing wrong with protecting your heart. How about just waiting for him to make the first move and then you follow. If it does turn out to be a game on his part then you will know how to handle things this time around. However, I highly doubt the same thing will happen again. If with the last incident where the guy broke your heart I think he did have feelings for you but young guys tend to be dumb and let their friends dictate their actions. His friends probably teased him about you and thats why he played you off. They were most likely jealous as young people are. So, don't worry too much about it. Enjoy your youth and have fun. Don't worry because if this guyisn't the one I promise you there are plenty of guys who would be lucky to be a part of your life.
My bff told me I was the slut of the one class n I believe her. I wear short shorts that almost show my butt. I wear no sleeved shirts I wear low shirts. belly shirts I also wear short short dresses and I am 11 and a half. I made out with guys and i slept with a guy at his house. Is it true be truthful. Also how could I tell my other bffe(best friends for eternity)?
First of all a slut is a woman prostitute or promiscuous girl. What you described about yourself is not a slut. However, wearing very revealing clothes can give people the idea that you are something that you are not. I like to use the rule of thumb that if you show off the top cover the bottom or visa-versa for example: If you wear a low cut shirt wear long pants or long skirts. If you were a short skirt wear a shirt that covers you well.
Honestly you don't need to explain yourself to anyone. Your friends are most likely the same age as you so they haven't experienced life any more than you have. They might also be a bit jealous if perhaps you have developed and they have not. You are probably taking away the attention from them and thats what their real issue is. But just for your own self respect try not to be too revealing. Leave somthing for the imagination. You don't want to be treated based on the clothing you wear but on the person you are on the inside. Plus it's summer time. You have plenty of opportunity to show off your looks in a nice swim suit. Everyone is revealing then so your friends should have no complaints. :)
Does anyone else in this world only reiceve 75 dollars a month in child support and this month I have only recieved 55 dollars.
I know a lot of fathers who are only court ordered to pay $50 a month. One person was ordered to pay $1 and was thrown in jail for not doing so.
If you are aware of your child's father having a job or better employment you can request a modification where they will look into his wages. You should also inform child support enforcement that you are not recieving the full $75. If he doesn't make enough he needs to get a second job. You could also request temporary assistance which in the state of Missouri is $274.00 per month. Its not much but more than $75.
I am 13 and i am pregnant. I took a pregnancy test that I stole from a store and it was positive. I already know i am way to young for sex. But we did use a condom it just broke. I can't tell my mom because she doesn't even know that I like boys yet she still thinks that I think boys have cooties. Abortion is out of the picture 1. I can't afford it 2. I could never kill a child. But i am just so scared I didnt tell the dad yet and not my mom only my best friend. I don't know how to tell them so please just tell me what to do or give me potions or opinions but please don't lecture me on how stupid I am for having sex I will get that from my mom it has been 2 weeks. Thanks for the help
I am helping another girl in a similar situation and I would be very hapy to help you as well. I will give you all the information you need to get the best start possible. If you would like my number or want to just remain communicating over the internet I would be happy to share all the steps you should take. You are not alone and I will help you every step of the way.
Thank You For Everything You Have Done So Far And Yes It Would Be Great Help If You Find Anything Else Out And Tell Me Would It Be More Convient That You Have My Number? But I Can't Thank You Enough For The Help You Have Given Me Thank You So So Much!
You can call me ANYTIME if you like my name is Aaran I'm a girl just spelled kinda guyish lol (what was my mom thinking) lol. My number is 816-214-5055. I'm home pretty much all day today if you want to call I'm here for you. I'm so sorry I can't help you much more today but I know Monday we should be able to get better answers. If you can't call long distance send me your number and I'll call you too.
Thank You For Your Help I Appericate It Every Way Possible But If Anything Is There A Way I Can Live With My Boyfriend And Be Placed With Him Somehow?
Ok, sweetie I'm working on it. I am calling every place I can think of and I'm sending my brother who lives in San Antonio around to see what he comes up with. I know this is scary I'm here for you and will send you any info I get as it comes in. My biggest problem is that most places are closed on the weekend. I pray that I can make this happen before Monday. If we can't reach anyone until then and your parents force you to get it done. I hate to encourage lying and deception but this is your baby's life you are trying to save. Tell your parents you had the abortion and keep the money and then seek the help from whatever organization I can find for you that will help out the most. Or tell your parents you are too far along.
But I'm still working on it, don't worry.
If you call 210-224-7077 Monday 9:30-3:30 They can help you get set up with housing and everything else as well. The lady I spoke to believes that they will house both you and your boyfriend but she is not 100% certain.
If you go to optionline.org you can chat online right away and ask any questions you might have.
After speaking with the lady over the phone she said the majority of abortion clinics won't perform and abortion after 16 weeks. You must go to a special hospital for abotions 16 to 24 weeks and it cost a lot more and I mean A LOT more money than a regular abortion. After 24 weeks you can no longer have an abortion.
I'm so sorry that I can not help much more today. Unfortunately of all the 20+ places I've called they are all closed :( First thing Monday morning I will try some more but I do think there are some options for you and your boyfriend. Just hold on and try chatting at optionline.org
At least they can help ease your mind and minimize your worry.
Please let me know how you are doing today next week next month next year. I am praying for you and your baby.
I Live In San Anotonio, Texas And If You Can Please Help Me Before Monday When I Have To Go To The Abortion Clinic Please Any Advice Will Help! I Thank You For Trying To Help Me As Much As You Can Thank You So Much!
Ok I just got off the phone with a lady at Allied Women's Center: (210) 224-7077
She said that if you give them a call they will help you every step of the way. They will give you your own place to stay if you like they will pay for ALL the babies expenses food diapers clothes ect. They will help you get set up on free medicaid for you and the baby. You can even see a dentist and eye doctor. They will help to stay in school and go to college later and will work closly with your boyfriend as long as he is supportive too.
Please give them a call today if you like but the lady said early Monday morning is when everyone is in the office but I think if you explain your urgent situation they may have you come in today.
A side question I thought you said you were 5 months along and that was a couple weeks ago. I might be wrong but I don't think any abortion provider is allowed to perform such late term abortions. If that is the case then you won't have to worry about the abortion but the Allied Women's Center: (210) 224-7077 will still give you all the same help just the same. I hope this helps and if you need anything else or have any questions I will try to help.
You can do this I promise you. I have a 1,2, anf 4 year old baby boys that I love to death and wouldn't trade for the world. Don' let your parents take your precious baby away PLEASE!!!
If nothing else tell your parents you are too far along for an abortion.
I had a friend who was 5 months along and gave birth to a 1 pound baby fully developed today the baby girl is 7 years old. So I'm telling you that the innocent baby you are carrying is a real living baby with feelings. You are it's mother and it is your duty to take care of and fend for your baby against everyone.
You will be ok this time next year you will be holding your baby feeding it with a spoon and watching your baby try to crawl along with a beautiful smile. Your baby will love you more than anyone has ever loved you. Your baby won't judge you or insult you but hug you and cry when you leave. Trust me I've done it been there and I'm still making it and you will too :)
My dad has been taking codeine for around 2-3 years. He first took it when he broke his collarbone and his doctor continues to prescribe it for him. I've read about people getting addicted to prescription medication and I'm just wondering if it's possible for my dad to have become addicted to the codeine?
Unfortunately he is addicted to it without a doubt. The problem with this particular addiction is that it is not just a mental addiction but physical. If he were to just stop taking them he would get very ill. The pain he will suffer is equal to that of having the worst flu you can imagine. If he were to stop taking the pills cold turkey he could possible die. So, it is important that he seek medical attention and asap. However, until he realizes he has a problem and wants to change it there is nothing you or anyone else can say or do to change the problem. Although your father is an adult and ultimately responsible for hiself I blame the doctor who is continuously prescribing the medication. The doctor should know that a broken collarbone doesn't warrent narcotics for years but more like a couple of days. I am so sorry your father is going through this because I am sure he had no idea what path he was headed down. Please encourage your father to seek help. He can get past this with your love and support.
can you use finanical aid money or college loan money to purchase a laptop/your books? if so how?
Yes you can. First the school will subtract the money you owe for tuition and then they will cut you a check for what ever is left. You go to the bank and deposit it or cash the check and then purchase whatever you like. But remember, you will have to pay it back so spend it wisely. Congratulations on starting out in college and good luck.
You Told Me About Asking You On Information About Pregnancy I'm The Girl Who's 15 And Pregnant And Her Parents Want To Force An Abortion But Me And My Boyfriend Wanna Keep The Baby I Would Love To Get Some Advice And Help Thank You So Much
Ok, first I need to know what city and state you live in so I can get the information you need for your particular area.
However, the first thing you need to do is see your Ob/Gyn doctor to be sure the baby is progressing as it should.
Also, do you know if your highschool has any programs where they help you stay in school and provide daycare right there in the school? If not thats another option we should look into. (Finding a school that offers that assistance)
Have you gotten set up on Medicaid at all? They will pay for all your doctor visits and the delivery of your baby and then they will cover the baby's health insurance and also yours for up to a year after the baby is born. There is so much help out there for someone in your postion but I need to know have you already taken any steps towards getting the help or are you just starting out? Once I have your city and state I can assist you much better. I will make the phone calls for you and then tell you exactly where you should go, when, and how. Get back with me if you like asap so we can do the best we can for your new baby.
Just a side question: is your boyfriends family willing to help out at all?
im 14 and yet i have a party to go to in a bit and go swimming and its a pool party and i stuck in a tampon but theres still cotton stuff outside my area dose that mean it needs to be further in?
Yes you must push it in farther. Not too much farther but just comfortable enough without any of the cotton showing. You should be fine. Relax and have fun :)
I m 24f I like one boy whn he was going back he sid me he likes me and he will not think about any other girl I want to know wheather he is serious or not how can I know if he is serious about me whn I msg him he say he is buzy pl I want to knw whether he is serious about me should I wait for him
No, do not wait for him. He is not serious about you at least not from what you have said. Life is too short and you have too much to experience and things to learn and people to meet. If he is too busy for you, then you are too busy for him. You are worth way too much than to just sit around waiting on someone who doesn't deserve you in the first place. Please know that there are pleanty of other guys out there who would love to be apart of your life.
Does anyone know when CalGrants will be disbursed? I know you need to renew account and meet a certain GPA. I did both but I have yet to receive any notices on whether or not I am going to get any money. I start school in 4 weeks and I haven't gotten anything from them. Is there somewhere I can contact them?
Thanks!
Often you must speak with a couselor, declare an area of study, and then enroll in your classes before they will award you the money. (declaring your area of study "reason for going to school" ) is the vital part. Good luck and congratualtions, you are on a great track. Keep it up!