ohitscassidy's advice column

askohitscassidy

advice column ask question view feedback favorite columnist advicenators

Q: I am Jake's first gf. He is 19. He was always busy with studies and stuff before so he never interacted with too many girls let alone have sexual feelings for them. So he told me that he does have sexuAl desires but cant fulfil them as he cant have an erection. I'm not gonna leave him or annything coz I love him but then, I think in the long run it will get me frustrated. We do talk about sex and he does get turned on but without the erction. How do i deal with this? Is there any cure? What would you have done if you were in my place?
Thanks for the help... XOX

ask him to see a doctor if he hasn't already.

in the meanwhile you can still do other things without him having an erection, you could still do foreplay like give him head and hand jobs .. he just wont get hard but it would feel the same to him. He could also pleasure you back and hopefully that could tie you over so you wont get frustrated with him.

Q: i know that everyone is different, but i just wanted to know how long it took for anyone to get over thier first love....i went out with this guy for about a year, and i love him so much...he's always on my mind, i do try to keep busy and i'm really working at it, i know i will get there. Someone told me that it takes about 4 years. I guess it depends on the person but how lon did it take you to get over them?thank you!:D

it took me a little over a year and a half personally, since the guy was always around me it was harder.

Q: ok this is a pretty embarrasing but i have to say it to ask the question so bare with me please lol..i have fingered myself before but i dont see where it feels good at all unless you are messing with your clitoris...where does all the sensation come from when a mans penis goes in and out when to me that doesnt really feel good...is it just me or am i mistaking how it works?? Any help is appreciated (except for calling me retarded):D thanks all

you have what is called a G spot and when its hit it feels amazing i was never able to find mine with my own finger, but my boyfriend found it right away and it feels good. Like the person below me said it feels diffrent when someone else is doing it, and your finger is way diffrent from a males penis. the penis can go alot farther then finger and it feels amazing, once you have sex youll understand you will like it dont worry lol

Q: i really want to do something good this summer like going to new orleans or something to help out families especially children who have lost everything. i want to give my time and exerience for a good cause. does anyone know of any programs or anything that does this?
thanks

Red Cross

Q: Here's an odd one for ya..

She broke up with me 2 weeks ago... So now we're just friends (sucks, but what can ya do?) What do I get her for christmas?

She's 16 btw

Thanks!

i wouldn't buy her anything if she broke up with you..

but maybe candy, movies, cd, poster, book.. socks?.. haha something simple nothing big

Q: ok i have been like freaking lately because everyone says i have a big butt. and i dont want a big butt. but does that mean im fat? should i start dieting? i've tried but its reeealy hard lol :( im 16 and like 5 feet n 5 inches tall and weigh about 133 pounds. please tel me if you think i should start watching wat i eat oh and by the way im a athlete, a figure skater but i ahvent been skating that much and i keep eating alot so im worried im gunna gain alot of wieght and i realy dont want that to happen. :(

maybe they mean it in a good way, my boyfriend tells me all the time i have a big but, but he likes it.. so maybe its not a bad thing.. but if you think it is, just cut back on the sugar and fatty foods and eat healthier you don't need to change the amount your eating but just replace it with something more healthy like white bread can be replaced with wheat bread, and junk food can be replaced with healthier things like fruits little stuff like that will go far in the outcome and and exercise more, go jogging do sit up.. go on to google.com and type in exercise for butt ox and stuff like that it should come up with a lot of diffrent things you can try.

goodluck.

Q: how long do you usually wait in a relationship to bring them home and meet the parents?

whenever you think its time to.
if your younger then your parents usually like to meet them pretty early on, if not then make your best judgement to decide weather its time or not i would probably wait like a month or so, and then have them meet your parents. You never want to do anything to quickly though. So whatever you think is best

Q: me and my bf broke up a couple months ago and he dated other people but i havent and weve talked since then and he says he will always love me and stuff and wants me back sometime but i want him now! more than anything! what do i do cause i already told him that like 5 times and he agrees but doesnt ever do anything!

talk to him about it, if he really wants you back he tell you and make the move if not he could just be saying that to not hurt your feelings. If he keeps saying he wants you and doesn't do anything about it, maybe you should evaluate why the 2 of you broke up in the first time and think to yourself if maybe you should just move on, don't wait on someone who isn't 100% sure if they want you, if they did then they would say so and do something.

Q: I went to the beach this weekend, and on the sand there was a huge circle with a triangle inside of it laid out in boards (from shipwrecks probably). What does the sign represent? I have a feeling it has something to do with a dark religion or cult. There was just this whole creepy feeling about it that I didn't like.

And I know that symbol was used for Alcoholics Anonymous, but trust me, I don't think that was what it represented.

this is the closest i could find what it may have been, go here : http://www.iupui.edu/~philosop/spiritofolias.htm

otherwise it may very well have been for AA because a lot of alcoholics wear and represent that symbol when they have finally become healthy again and are no longer an addict and that may have been someones way of representing it, a lot of people buy a special charm or necklace but this person may have done this to get across a message.

hope that helped

Q: my boyfriend is 14 and will be 15 in a month and im 15. we've done everything but sex(hj,bj,finger,eat out).
we both want to have sex, but when i actually think it over i'm scared out of my mind.
i DO NOT want any STD's and i definitely do not!!!!!!!! want to get/be pregnant.
is this a good idea?
he will use a condom but i dont know, i'm still worried.
plus i'm alergic to laytex gloves but not laytex like balloons and stuff so do you think i will have a reaction to condoms??
i will not go to my doctor for anything so PLEASE HELP ME OUT!

if there is any thought in your mind telling you not to, then i would advise you not to have sex, i don't personally label an age with sex like i lost my virginity at 14 and i still dont regret it .. so if you really love this guy then alright but if your really worried and dont think its a good idea, then dont.

and as for the latex thing, you could have him use those odd lamb skin ones or whatever they are haha or look it up on google, they have an answer for everything.

gooodluck

Q: i've had the honesty box application on facebook for many, many months.

throughout september and october, i've gotten notifications that someone has sent me an honesty box message, but when i go to my box under the "unread", the last message is from august.

i usually receive emails from honesty box telling me that i have a new honesty box message, but for some reason, i didn't get emails when i supposedly received the messages.

i wanted to know why this is happening and how i can read my messages? i've gone through all the tabs and even clicked on "sent" message threads but the messages i've received are brand new threads, not responses to my honesty box messages to other people.

thank youu.

something may be wrong with that application.. like on myspace sometimes randomly it will say new friend request or message and you click on it and nothing is there, its just the bugs there working on most likely

Q: when i recieved oral sex from my boyfriend it was that great.i wonder why please help.

im not sure what you mean, do you mean it wasnt that great?

if you do well diffrent people like diffrent things, you just may be one of the people who don't like it. or maybe your boyfriend was doing it wrong

Q: the other day i had my first seiuer and may have epilepsy i want to know if i can still play sports like basketball,soccer,and lacrosse with this condition?

well you go to your next doctors appointment
these are the questions to ask your doctor

good luck!

Q: Well, this may be a bit embarrassing, but here goes. I'm 17/f Lately I have had this weird feeling when I pee. It is similar to burning, but it's a bit sharper. It comes on right after I'm finished peeing and it feels like it goes all the way from my urethra up to behind my clitoris. Since this started, I have been feeling like I really need to pee more often than is normal, but when I go to the bathroom, not very much urine actually comes out.

I'm a virgin, so I know it's not an STD. I have been taking birth control pills though (for hormonal issues, not birth control.) for about the past month.

I know that you guys aren't doctors, but I was wondering if anyone has ever experienced this or has an idea of why it's happening and how I can treat it. Thank you so much.

urinary tract infection

Q: Lately I've been getting these pains that i can feel in and around my uterus. Sometimes they are sharp and sometimes it feels almost as if the pain is gliding all around in there. one morning the pain was so bad it woke me up. it felt as if someone was squeezing both sides of my uterus and wouldn't let go. i couldn't move.
i don't think it is period cramps. Mine have never been that bad plus this has been happening for about 2 weeks or more. it's not from sex because i haven't done that lately, what else could it be from? I could be ovalating, but it hurt too much and that never lasts longer than a couple days. what do you think it could be?

if you go to Web MD symptom checker like type it into google and it will come up and it looks like a human body and you fill out the information and it shows you what could be wrong, its pretty helpful

goodluck ( if it continues to happen, see your doctor)

Q: my girlfriend is comeing over in about an hour and she has a sore throat and she doesnt want to get me sick, but il do anythig for her to makeout again, that was the best night of my life. what can i do to convince her its ok to?

tell her it doesn't bother you if shes sick and whatnot, if she doesn't want to, you cant exactly force her to make out with you. Just tell her your fine with it

Q: hey there. so today i noticed that my right nipple is really sore and like when i touched it it was a little sensitive and it also was kind of hard like had a lump. im 16 and i also noticed that it was lactating a little bit. i would just like a reason why this is happen and an explanation to make me feel better . thanks.

is there any possible way you could be pregnant? if so take a test or see a doctor.
otherwise this is pretty common issue for women
you should go to your care provider and have your thyroid and prolactin levels checked

Q: i am 13/f :)
Well... there are 2 guys, and they are both cute... and well, one of them is really funny and the other is really cute! Is it normal to like 2 guys???? And, if not, I DONT KNOW WHICH 1 I REALLY LIKE ... :(
thats my first question. Second, if i want to like actually INTERACT with them (i dont chat with either 1 much... and they are in almost every class!),how can i like get a conv started??? Like, should i just go up to him or WHAT???
thnx for ever1 who will (try to) help!!!!!

i've been in this situation when i was in middle school myself haha. Just casually start a convo like hey i like your shirt or something like that and see if he holds an interest in talking with you.
you can make a list of good and bad in both of them and see witch one you could have the better time with.. its really hard when you like to guys, but yes it is normal haha.

Q: whenever im with my boyfriend and my friend, our friend comes up n says or does stuff to me to piss off my boyfriend. like today i sat by my bf n our friend came up n said to me heyy sexy whats up n winked at me. i didnt know what to say i just looked at my bf as he stared my our friend down.. its so awkward, what can i say or do. its constant

sounds like either, this guy and your boyfriend have some kinda problem between each other, or this other guy likes you. If thats the case then tell them to leave you out of it and to knock it off. If the case is he likes you, tell him how you feel, how you only want to be friends, or explain to him that what he's doing is really stupid and immature and you find it annoying or something and you want him to stop

Q: This is done by texting. My friend and I, but hes also a guy that I like. I did call him last night, but he didn't get my phone call cause he was on the comp.(we are both seniors in H.S.)
This is from today..after school.

me: are you busy tonite?

him: no

me: then I will call you tonite and hopefully I wont get your voicemail.

him: kk..why?

Me: fine...then I don't want to call you

him: no....are you going to tell me something important?

me: no..I just want to talk to u...friends call each other and stuff, but you never text me first..only once T.T

him: I do that to all my friends

me: ok well i'll take that..I just wish more ppl were like me in a friendship..kinda..a little bit

him: call me...tonite

me: why?

him: u said you want that kind of friend

Am i suppose to be okay with this?...I'm just lost because i am very insecure and i tend to over analyze everything...please tell me what this means.

alright, you should calm down i don't even see where the problem is.. he didn't say anything that could lead to him not wanting to be your friend..

the guy was simply asking why you were calling, he thought you had something important to say, but when you said no i wont call... that problem confused him like me because if you want to be friends with him why would you say i won't call out of know where?
anyways he said for YOU to call him, and just talk.. like you wanted haha relax im sure he still wants to be your friend nothing happened that you said, would make him change his mind