ask Michele



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Dear Readers:
I think my life experience is what qualifies me to write this column. I made every mistake imaginable. But have learned from them. Most important I still remember what it was like to be 12, 13, 14, 15, and so on. Currently I am a single mom, I have two wonderful boys. One in college. We are all happy emotionally. We love life, and know that you can too. I try to be the kind of parent that understands. I know that I can help you to understand where you parents are coming from, and help you get over the difficulties of being young. You can even have your parents write to me and I will help them to get over their fears and at least respect you and your feelings. I have been married and divorced twice, so I have experience in that field also. But now I own my own home, and my own business and am successful. Lots of luck to you! Hope to hear from you.
Website: Ask Michele
E-mail: cobweb2@comcast.net
Gender: Female
Location: Connecticut
Occupation: accountant, internet marketing, creative writing
Age: 56
Member Since: March 22, 2005
Answers: 1331
Last Update: June 20, 2010
Visitors: 84149

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Every afternoon in school for about 2 weeks I get really bad stomach Aches. I have no idea why. If i go home and go to sleep for like even a half hour they get better. Is there like a reason for this or somthing. (link)
Well you are not giving enough information to make an informed answer. But I just read something in a magazine that said. parents whose kids suffer from stomache aches of no known cause, who go from doctor to doctor to find a reason, and can't find one......should look for emotional reasons. So are you having some social problems at school. Or are you having some problems at home. When I was our age. I hated to go home. (There were a lot of problems going on that that I was much to young to deal with, but I didn't know that then.) They were enought to give me a stomache ache that is for sure> so if you think it may be emotional then you have some more questions to ask Don't you?
Michele


Hey, first off, let me start off by saying I'm fifteen years old and I'm a freshman in high school. I am involved in local theatre productions. For the longest time, since as long as I can remember, I've wanted to be famous. I wanted to be a model or an actress. I mean, when you really ask "what do you DREAM of doing?" I dream of singing before a crowd or being in magazines modeling or being in a film. It just seems to me that this is so out of reach and that I will never be able to be this. I kind of let it escape my mind and thought of other career options, but I think about this every once and awhile and it's hard to forget this "dream". I wonder if maybe it keeps popping in my mind for a reason? So, I was wondering if anyone could give me any insight as to how they feel about this, and whether or not you think I should pursue this and how to start. ANY sort of comment would be very helpful! (link)
I think since you are involved in theater, then you are doing the right things. You just need to be patient. (I know that sounds stupid). People don't really become famous overnight. It just seems that way to us who are on the outside looking in. They spent years doing just what you are doing. If you really love performance art, then do you best at what you are doing. Keep it up. Take every opportunity to perform. Even for no money. Do well in school and plan on going to Art School. Performance Art that is. When you are older and working part time. Take lessons. Volunteer. When famous people come to town to work on plays with your theater group, ask them how they started out. People love to talk about that stuff. Everyone who is a fabulous performer today, started just the way you are now. Dreams are not realized overnight. It takes a long time and dedication. Make sure you get involved in the drama classes in your school. I hope you have drama classes there.
I hope this helps
Michele


Hi im 13 female and i wanted to know if any one my age knows how i can earn $3000 dollars (three thousand dollars) i live in florida close to mims i need to earn money but dont know how.. i want to earn money for a horse and my grandpa said that if i get $3000 than i can get one. so i need help i rate 5's thanks
hopeful one (link)
Well, you are a young girl, but if you are resourseful, and really really really want a horse that bad, then I am sure you will find a way. The most likely, and since you live in FLA, it should not be hard to find SENIORS who need help. I mean really, babysitting comes to mind, but, maybe you are too young. WOW, you know what I just thought of! "DOG WALKING". Every dog owner needs to walk their dog. Dogs need exercise. It is good for their health. But most owners don't have time. So why don't you start a dog walking service. Since you have a computer, print up some flyers. Hand them out to your neighbors. GO to any and all dog grooming places in your neighborhood and leave them a supply. Make sure your phone number and the hours that you are availble to walk the dogs is clearly written on the flyer. And then, be the MOST CONSISTANT AND RELIABLE DOG WALKER THERE EVER WAS. Never miss an appointment, not even for bad weather. Never complain. Always smile and that thank you. Treat the dogs well. ANd then you will get repeat business and new business through word of mouth. The more that the dog owners come to trust you, the more they will have you do for them. They may pay you extra to stop by and feed their pets when they have to be away from home. I know a girl here in CT who lives in AVON (a rich community) and she started this business and makes more money than her mom does who works for an insurance company.
I hope this helps. Be smart about where you pass out the flyers and you will have a lot of business. Also dress neatly and always smile. You want people to trust you. THis is not time for orange hair, or pierced eyebrows, or tatoos, or your stomache showing. yeah it all looks nice to your friends but, it won't get adults to trust you to walk their dogs. (I know it shouldn't matter but it does and the sooner you learn that, the sooner you will be employeable.)
Thanks for letting me help.
Michele


i'm 13 and i'm a Christian i'm really big on holding grudges and not forgiving people. i know i know its bad but i'm praying about it and working on it!! bible verses help me alot but lately i cant find any!! i need help on finding bible verses about forgiving..know any?? please help!! (link)
This is not frm the bible but it will help.

"resentment is the poison you drink, while you are hoping that someone else will die."

And then there's the marine saying.
Is this the hill you want to die on?

By that I mean, be sure that you want to keep this side of an issue even if it means loosing friends. Or that it is more important to be RIGHT than to be LIKED.

Michele


Hi everyone, I'm 14/f and I was j/w if it would be bad if I eventually went out with a 19 year old guy. I'm going to be 15 in May. I've been talking to this guy for a year now. He seems really really sweet, but we haven't met yet. I just feel like I'm starting to like him now. We were going to go see a movie one time, but we didn't end up going because it was really late. I decided not to go. He always used to say I'm too young and everything, so he was afraid to meet me, but then all of a sudden that one time he was going to go somewhere with me. He doesn't seem to care about my age all that much now. I'm not sure if he likes me or not, but I'm just saying if we met and everything, would it be wrong for me to be going out with a 19 year old? In my opinion, it's not that bad. I know we could both get in trouble, but he's really sweet. I've talked to a lot of people that I don't know on the internet, and he doesn't seem like one of those guys that only cares about sex. He never tries to talk about it with me like other gross guys do. I was also wondering how I could maybe hint to him when I'm talking to him on the internet again that I like him. I'll probably be talking to him tomorrow night. If we ever met also, what are some suggestions as to where we could meet and hang out since it'll be the first time. If anyone can, please answer! I just want a few suggestions. I'm soo very sorry that this question is so long. And I also know that you'll probably tell me it's a big age difference, but age shouldn't matter if you really like someone right? You could always keep the relationship a secret, and not do anything illegal with that person until your old enough and you know you won't get in trouble. If your nice when you answer, and you give good advice I'll rate you a 5!!!! Thank you so much again, and sorry about the length. :-) (link)
Dear Wrong:
Please do not go through with meeting this guy. Is it wrong to want to meet him, no he has been leading you on for a year now. It is natural for you to be curious and it is natural for you to want to be in a relationship. but please wait until you can be in a relationship with some one of your own age. 15 and 19 is to much difference in age for this time in your life, besides it is illegal for him to have relations with you. He can end up in jail, and with a "sex offender" record of the rest of his life. If he is as nice as you say he is, then don't get him in trouble. Perhaps he is just misguided. But if he really is a creep and you will never know for sure unless you meet him and find out the hard way, then. Let someone else find out the hard way. I know that in your mind it could blossom into a wonderful friendship that could last until you are old enough to handle a closer relationship. That is what every young girl wants. Just to be close to someone who thinks their special. Problem is, at that age, (I know this sounds like a cliche,) boys mostly think of sex. That is how they want to feel close to someone. He will pressure you and pressue you until you give in. If he really cared about your feelings and put you first, he would not have wanted to take you to the movies so late in the evening, when you could not go. He was hoping that you could go, because if a 14 year old girl can get out of the house late to go see a movie, with or without her parents knowledge that she is meeting up with a 19 year old guy that she does not really know......that would tell him that your parents don't care about you, and he knows he would have a better chance of talking you into something. But since you are asking these questions and you are being cautious....don't stop there. Try telling him that you want to remain "on-line" friends for another year, because you don't want to have to sneak around, and you will be ready to date when you are 16. Just see what he says to that, I'll bet that he stops writting and finds someone else to chat with. And if that does happen that means he wasn't really intersted in you only just what he could talk you into. Listen honey, you can say all day that you are not ready for sex, and you may mean it, and I hope you do, but you had better be able to defend yourself, because every man, and boy knows, that if they are in a girls company, most likely they can talk her into it. AFter all, it is how must of us experience our first encounter. I am just telling you that the older you are when that happens the better. And while you may agree, then you also have to be CAREFUL not to put yourself in a position where you could be talked into it, or even worse.
I hopevthis helps.


ok with the boy trouble..i know he would be a great bf..cause ever since my last b-day ..nov...we have been giving each other gifts...like b-days,christmas,valentines day, and i gave him something from my vacation...he is so sweet..and caring..and always apreciates me..NEVER laughs at me...and he always talks about me to all his friends and my friends(thats how i found out!) but i think the problem might be that i think i am to young. i seriously don't know what to do...and by the way you give really good advice! please help!! (link)
If you think you are to young than you probably are, and I am sure that your parents will agree, but you are never to young to be friends. And you can never have enough friends. It does sound like he really likes you. And if he does he will be happy to get closer as friends. Just tell him that the rest will follow in good time. But keep the control in your hands. You decide when it goes from friends to something more, and your age will be just one of the things that will be included in the decision. YOu will also have to consider how he treats you, and how you feel about him, after you have gotten to know him as a friend. Most of the young adults I know who have gotten married, said that they were friends with their spouse forehand. Don't be in a hurry to be a gf. I think it's cool that boys and girls can be just friends today. That didn't happen when I was young. You only had girlfriends and and if boy wasn't your boyfriend, then you had nothing to do with him. I hope you understand.

Michele


I'm 15/f and a freshman in highschool. Lately I've been having problems with my phys. ed. teacher. I'm not going to be around the bush about this, but he's an asshole. (excuse my language). He's always such a jerk to me about every little thing. A friend of mine had a shirt on that she changed into for PE that had a picture of George Bush Sr. and George Bush on it and it sayd Dumb and Dumber under their pictures. He had a fit about it and I was supporting her saying that she can have an opinion about whatever the heck she wants to. He basically said she's not allowed to have an opinion about it until she's 18. Then he proceeded to say how he can run his class the way he wants to and if I have a problem with it to take it up with the principal. Not only is he a jerk, but alot of the time he seems like one of those really creepy pedophile type people. He's always staring at me when we do stretches and stands behind me when we're doing toe- touches. We had to do jumping jacks this weird way and I'm not coordinated enough to do it so he asked me to stay after class about it. We were doing lay ups when we played basketball and I suck at any sport that involves a ball and he asked me to stay after class to work on it when there were about 5 other people that sucked 10 times worse than me but didn't ask them to stay after. What exactly should I do about this? I mean, he hasn't made "a move" on me so I can't really say much about that but what should I do? Sorry this was long! (link)
Wow, I have been out of high school for 30 years and I can't believe that things have not changed. I had the same problems. No one listened to me. I thought all that stuff was against the law now. I have been around men who act like angels with other people, then get all creepy if you happen to be alone with them, and when you complain, no one believes you. That really sucks. I say learn karate or some sort of self defense and be prepared to defend yourself, Don't trust anyone you don't know very well. That teacher may just have to man handle someone and get caught before he gets fired. Remember this, if it turns out to be some other girl, and she tells, be sure that you come forward with your complaints so that you can support her, because he will deny it all the way to jail. I'll bet if you asked around you'll find other students that feel the same way. I know it sucks, I wish you did not have to go through with it. I know so many adults who were molested by people that should have been trustworthy. So when I had my boys, I rarely let them out of my site. they were never in day care and never with a babysitter. And if one of them ever told me that someone was bothering them, I believe them. Luckily it never happened. Good luck honey, stand up for your rights. PS you have the right to an opinon also.
Michele


ok so i like this boy and he likes me....we like eachother a lot..and i don't want to be his gf but i do! and he wants to be my bf.. .his friends asked me" so do you want to be "" gf" and i say not yet...but inside i totally want to say yes..then his friends tell him and he aslways sais " its ok ..thats fine..i will just wait" and i think that is sweet and all but ...well i don't know what to do...help fast! (link)
Hi Confused,

Let me help you. Tell him you want to be friends FIRST. Say, I think I would like you to be my boyfriend, but I need us to become friends first. I could never date somenone that I didn't know as a friend first.
Since he already said that he was fine with waiting until you made up your mind, then he should be ok with being friends. Because now you will get to spend time together to become better friends. You just may find out as you get to know him better, that you don't want him as a boyfriend. This will give you time to find out how he is going to treat you as a friend and later as a girl friend. For example, if he flirts with other girls in front of you because he thinks he is a playboy, well no way you are going to like that, so he can decide not to become his girlfriend. And now you do not look like a fool. (Yes you may be broken hearted, but no one has to know but you. ) You may be dissapointed if it turns out that he is not good boyfriend material, but better to know ahead of time than find out too late.
I hope this helps.
Michele


I just started to go out this boy. I really like him. We hang out alot. We joke around alot and he really likes to tickle me even though I don't like it. I still want to go out with him but how can I get him to stop tickling me? He also has been flirting with another girl. It looks innocent but should I worry about it? I rate good. Thanks! (link)
You both sound young and he sounds immature. If he does not stop tickling you when you ask, then he is not concerned about your feelings. If he is flirting with other girls in front of you, then, again, he doesn't care about your feelings. Don't go there girl........
If he doesn't listen to you when you make a simple request to not tickle you, what makes you think he will listen when the matters are more important, like don't break my heart. He sounds selfish and I know grown men who think tickling is fun but it is never fun for the person who is being tickled. And when they don't stop, I suspect that they were teased and tickled by a parent in their lives, who also thought it was funny and didn't stop until the kid was crying and then they were accused of being a cry baby. etc, etc. Your friend may have some serious problems and I would stay just friends and save yourself a lot of heartache.


Well you know when you want to search for a question by category? Well, one of the options is "By adults" and another one is "By Teens". How do they know which one is asked by which, most don't have their age on it. (link)
They don't know, they are just hoping you'll be honest. But of course the teens will always use the "by adults" button because they believe that they will get access to sites where they should not be. the site manager knows that the kids will still use that button, but he can show to the FCC or the Government or the POLICE( who are trying to prevent child exploitation, ) that he did his best to prevent it by offering both options. It is not his fault if kids use the adult option.

DOes that answer your question.


Im a female and 15. Well theres a guy ive liked for a few years that i went out with before. We're really good friends and i know hes someone who i can count on. Well i kind of fooled around with him before but it didnt really change anything, still good friends, and not going out. Well my friends think im going to have sex with him and i kno that he wants to.. He told his best friend whos also my friend before he wouldnt go do anything with someone he didnt care about or have feelings for. i dont know if i should avoid doing that though or not. And rght now im not a virgin anyway so i dont see it as a big deal but ive only been with one guy. I really want to be with him and everything and he's told people he likes me but he doesnt want to be in a relationship rght now but im hoping i can change his mind. I dont know what i could do to get him to want to be with me again... But i would do anything. Please help with tips or advice Thanks (link)
Hello,
I am concerned about your thinking and want to respond. YOu said you can count on him. That is important. Sometimes that is more important than a sex partner. They usually go away after they get what they want. If you have sex with him, knowing that he does not want to be involved right now...you will loose a friend and someone that you could count on. If you want to feel lonely, go ahead. Because that is all you will get out of it. A few minutes of companioinship and being with some one who seems to want you for the moment, then months of loneliness. It is better to be alone by choice YOURS, then alone because you were used and dumped. Don't give anyone the opportunity to use you. You can remain in control. When that boy or man comes along who wants you for YOU, you will know. he will not be in a hurry to use you, only anxious to please you. You say you are 15 and no longer a virgin, you have had one lover, Please stop now. In the future you will meet a man who wants to be your ONLY lover and you will want to be his ONLY lover. Like or not, he is going to ask you how many lovers you have had in your life. Of course you don't have to answer, but wouldn't it be nice to be able to say, just two honey, you and a fling I had when I was younger. END OF STORY. Sorry, I know that my advice is old fashioned, but women have not found a way yet to have casual sex and not be profoundly affected by it when the guy doesn't call.........
Michele




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