steph2k10's advice column

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Q: My friend is turning 20 in about 2 weeks...what are things that we can do for her birthday weekend?? She has a bf, he will be coming as well, so nothing that involve wat a single woman would do..thanks!

i took all my friends on a awesome camping trip, we looked up a nearby state park, and it was totally fun!

if camping isnt your thing, try

seeing a movie in 3D or IMAX
Going to a waterpark
themepark

have fun!!

steph 21 =]

Q: hi there...i was wonerin if you can tell me if this coach bag that i just bought is fake or real?? heres my email...kristychau1437@hotmail.com can you plz email me your email, so that i can send you some pixs thanks so much!!

kristy

email the picture to me at

stephanie.ellick@gmail.com

a real coach bag will have a leather panel inside with a serial number on it, also, if the outside of the purse is the "C" design, then the lining on the INSIDE of the purse will NOT be. it will be stripes or something else.

look at all the fixtures and metal pieces on the bag. Coach uses only the best products for their bags so it should all look VERY clean and well made..

another good way to know, its to look at your zipper. a REAL coach bag uses only the best zippers, so if you look at the zipper pull, it should have a YYK on it. if it does not, chances are, its a fake.

email me when you can

stephanie.ellick@gmail.com

steph 21 =]

Q: hey guys, im sure you have all heard of the new movie coming out, District 9. Well I heard that there was a secret district or something that is owned by the government, and they do really secret testing there and anyone that tries to get in is shot on the spot. I forget the name of the district. Does anyone know what Im talking about? Any info? thanks

only thing I know about an area like that is Area 51 in New Mexico.

Steph =]

Q: I really thought I could handle myself. I didnt think I would resort to writing this to all of you here on advicenators. My dad found out from a source that he is going to be fired, not because of himself as a worker, because he is an excellent worker (he works in buisness in an office.) but his whole unit is being fired because of the economy, and companies cant offord to pay salaries anymore. Im a daughter in a family of 6, im 17, and Im American, and caucasian. It sounds minor, but its not. I feel horrible, my family feels horrible, my dad feels the worst of all. My mom has never had to work before because my dad provided, but a little while ago she got a job, thank god. But she only makes a quarter of what my dad makes. I just dont know what to do. It makes me sick to see my dad so upset, even though I know hes trying to hide it. I pray everyday he will keep his job, but it seems pretty final. I cry everyday and everynight.

i know what you are going through

im 21 and me and my fiance live in our own apt and are 100% independent and had no problem paying the bills....

that was until I got laid off my job in March 2009

the DAY it happens, your dad needs to go to the unemplyment office, and apply for Unemployment benefits, that way he is still getting financial help while he looks for a new job.

i looked for a job for 8 months, applying to over 100 jobs so far, and never got ANY CALLBACKS>

it wasnt that my resume was undesirable, i HAVE an awesome work history.

but heres the thing. soooo many people are unemployed, that if a job becomes available, people scramble and jumop on it quick, and if 100 people apply to the same job as me, that cuts my chance of getting the job down to 1 of 100. or 1%

I never got a callback in 8 months, and I kept praying and keeping faith.

this week, i got three interviews!!! its so strange. the good lord must have known my unemployment benefits are about to run out,

keep faith, pray every day, and make sure your day starts his unemplyment application THE SAME DAY he gets fired. it wont be the same amount hes making now, but it should be enough for your family to get by. any money is better than no money.

email me if you need ANYTHING. support, a question, ANYTHING> Im here for you.

stephanie.ellick@gmail.com

steph 21 =]

Q: well im waiting till marriage to have sex with my boyfriend. is there other ways i can please him. BJS is working pretty good but my hand gets tired.

its good to wait until marriage,it takes alot of willpower.

but a BJ is done with the MOUTH. thats why its a blow job.

A HAND job is with your hands.

=] steph

Q: This question is for guys:

What do you find sexier; a girl in a lacy bra and thong set or a girl dressed only in one of your tshirts. Just wondering.

my fiance says lacy bra and thong.

I guess it varies depending on the guy. LOL

Steph =]

Q: I'm pretty sure photoshop cs4 is the newest edition.
If it's not, please correct me.
Anyway. I'm going to be buying this is a few weeks.
I was hoping to try and find it in target or walmart?
Do they carry photoshop?
Anyway. About how much IS it in stores?

expect to pay $700 to &750 for CS4. I got it a few weeks ago from FRY's electronics.

Q: My boyfriend was a virgin, we had sex with a condom on and he didnt even cum.
He had to get home, so we stopped. He asked if he could use it without a condom, and I was dumb enough to say yes, and i told him ive never done that before.
he went in for five seconds.

and are condoms lubricated on both sides?
it was trojan
i felt his penis before he went in, and it seemed lubricated by the condom, not bodily fluid like.
he didn't cum in the five seconds either.

well, my period was a long time ago, i can't even remember.
i should be having it within 5 to(whatever amount) of days.

my period is 8 days long.
ive always used a condom
he was losing his virginity with me,
and its the first time ive had sex in three months.
how much is the possibility?
i dont know if im going through ovulation, i should have my period by now. but i heard you ovulate one day a month.
i dont know, help?
but my period is not trackable, it jumps around.
example.
starts on the 4th of one month,
then the 20th of the next month
can skip one month
then start on the 6th

by the way, if i get my period within that time limit of days or so
then am i okay?

even if he didnt cum in that 5 seconds, there is a wet "pre cum" that secretes millions of sperm and he cant feel when this liquid comes out.

you made a mistake by letting him get insode you without a condom on. you can get pregnant WITH a condom, so NOT using one is even more risky.

Im not trying to scare you, but if you are mature enough to have sex, then you need to be mature enough to accept the consequences too.

I would say wait about 3-5 days. If you still havent gotten your period, take a pregnancy test.

if you are pregnant, you need to find out as soon as possible that way you can start your pre-natal care to keep your baby healthy.

email me if you need anything, anytime.

stephanie.ellick@gmail.com

steph 21

Q: this is going to sound stupid, but i'm a 14 year old girland i want to find love. i think i have a picture in my mind of the boy i want and i think my standards might be too high because everytime i find something that might have a shot, i push the boy away. should i wait for the right boy and stop looking or the other way around?

i think i can help you here.

im going to be honest with you, theres less than a 1% chance you will find "the one" when you are 14 yrs old. there are those few lucky people who grow up with their sweethearts and end up getting married, but its 1 in a million.

if its just a boyfriend you are looking for, stop looking.

best advice i ever got when i was longing for a guy, was "stop looking" once i did, this guy asked me out when I was 16. now I am 21 and he and I are getting married in december!

what happens usually when we want guys to notice us, we try really really hard and that makes us look desperate.

in order for someone to love you, they need to see that you love yourself first! stop trying to get guys to see you and have some fun for a few weeks and when they see how confident you are, a guy will come crawling!

hope this helps! inbox me anytime.

steph 21

Q: what if i never get a peroid?

actually, dont let the previous poster worry you.

you dont have to ge it by the time you are 16.

there are a few things that you should look at here:

are you an average weight for your age? Not obese, not too skinny, being an unhealthy weight can contribute to late blooming.

next look at family history. In some cases, a look into the family history can reveal a reoccurring lateness from your mother, grandmother, sister, aunts, etc. it could be just how your genetics work.

check your other development on your body.

are you also late and blooming breasts, hip, etc?

now, if you dont get it by 16, that could be signs of infertility, but it is common nowadays for girls to not have their first menstrual cycle until they are about 18 yrs old.

if its something you are that concerned about, go see an endocrinologist, an obgyn, or your family physician. they should be able to tell you what the hold up is, and make sure you are healthy.

inbox me anytime. im here for ya!

steph 21

Q: I really like this guy and he says he likes me too, I 've been with him a couple times before, but havent gone all the way. He asked me if I could help him out, I said how, He wants to nut, what does that mean? How can I help him?

That means he wants to cum. Its basically a male orgasm.

Hope this helps!

Steph 21

Q: i was almost sure that this was a download or application from the Apple website, but i couldn't find it. it's basically the windows desktop - start toolbar and everything - on my Mac.

It sounds like your laptop has the microsoft windows operating system instead of the MAC OS. Has it always been like that? Did you just get it?

Macs don't usually come with windows installed, did you buy it used?

Call apple tech support. Their number is on their website apple.com they should be able to figure out how that happened and what needs to be done to reverse it and gget the mac os back.

Steph 21 =]

Q: Lately I've been having dreams about driving erratically. They either start with me taking the car without permission or just getting my license and being on the road for the 1st time alone. They always end with me speeding or disobeying some sort of traffic law, not on purpose but almost like it's out of my control. I always panic at the end and know that I've screwed up.
My question is, does this relate directly to my driving or something bigger? I've had my permit for a year (I can't get my lincense until I have a job to pay for insurance) and I do worry about being alone on the road, but these dreams I'm having are only making it worse. To be honest, I'm an overall good driver (I hardly ever speed and if I do, it's only 5 mph over or less) so this confuses me.
I checked dreamdictionary.com and it says that it could be about how I'm 'driving' my future. But lately I've stabilized alot in my life, especially my responsibility level. It wouldn't make sense that I'm having dreams about being irrational. I just want to make sense of these dreams and stop them because they're making me afraid to go driving and keep making me panic while I sleep :/ thanks.

I think I can help you here.

These dreams may suggest that you are extrely worried about taking part in the erradic behavior. The first dream about driving could have been coincidence, and then it worried you so much, that it fueled other dreams.

My doctor says that most dreams are triggered by what's on our mind right before we fall asleep, or something we were sub-consiously thinking about throughtout the day.

I other words, if something is hovering in the back of your mind all day, you are more likely to dream about it than if it was something you gave all your mind focus to. Our minds have a strange way of taking our worst fears and manifesting them into dreams.

I used to have horrible nightmares of my parents dying, and I would always be scared to let them go anywhere after one of those dreams. They hated my paranoia.

There is a way to make it stop.

Look in the mirror and say "I am a good driver. I obey all traffic and safety laws and should not be afraid." Talk it out with yourself.

I knw it sounds silly, but for one, it will make you feel like you've taken control, and two, you gave the problem your undivided attention and you should not dream about it again.

Email me if you want some support. Im here for ya!

Stephanie.ellick@gmail.com

Steph 21

Q: When someone says they got folded, what does that mean?

it means they got WASTED. DRUNK

Q: I'm 20 years old and I'm really ready to move out of my parents' house. I finished my associate's degree and I'm done with school.

Here's the problem. I don't have many friends, and I would rather live alone. I get paid minimum wage where I work ($7.25 per hour). I have all the furniture and appliances for an apartment (I've bought some over the last few months to prepare). I have a car. So once I get an apartment, I won't have to save up for those things.

How do I go about doing this? I've visited some apartments and they require that I earn 3 times the amount of rent. Remember I make minimum wage.

...and please don't tell me to stay in school and stay at home. Thank you. :)

hey,

someone else actually asked almost the exact same question a few weeks back, and I was able to help her out a great deal, she even emailed me for several days afterwards to continue on the subject. im going to copy and paste my same answer for you.

My name is Stephanie. Im 21 now, but Ive been on my own since I was 18. The reason I moved out is because my parents were fighting alot, and it was a very bad place for me to be. Once they decided to split up, my mom moved into a small one bed apartment, and my dad moved into an even smaller one bed apartment.

Where does this leave me?? nowhere

in all their bickering and fighting, neither of them seemed concerned with where I would live.

Therfore, I had to make a tough decision.

The night of my high school graduation, I was NOT able to attend the project graduation party that runs all night for the seniors because the very next morning at 6am, i started a new job. I got myself the highest paying job I could find, because I knew I would need all the money i could earn.

You have to be VERY mature when you decide to move out. You are going to have to sacrifice almost all your freetime to work to pay bills. it takes alot of responsibility. I couldnt take a full load in college because I had to work so much. I havent graduated from college yet.

i live in a 620 sq ft 1 bedroom apartment. Just to give you an idea of all the bills i pay heres my list:

rent: $565.00
Electricity: $110/month
cell phone: $132/month
Groceries: $200/month
Car payment: $306.73/month
Insurance: $221.01/month
Gas: $80/month

and thats just the necessities.

my internet service is $45/month.

not to mention, buying everything i needed to furnish my apartment cost about $2000.00 but you said you already have most of the things you need. DONT FORGET there are application fees to get an apt too.

whatever you do, dont get any credit cards, and if you do, only have 1 and use it for emergency purposes only. being in Debt these days is very dangerous. Im glad I dont have any credit cards because all my friends and coworkers are stuggling in this recession.

my biggest piece of advice to you is THINK.

think this all through and be realistic about what your income is, dont try to kid yourself because once youre in a lease, you cant get out of it, and if you break a lease, it goes on your record and you have to pay huge fees and you may never be able to rent again.

I made it and Im happier than Ive even been, but living on your own can be scary and lonely. If you are going to have roomates, make SURE they are the most reliable people you know because if the bills dont get paid, it doesnt matter if its your fault or your roomate's fault. It will affect both of you in a bad way.

all in all, it CAN be done, but it takes alot of hard work and sacrifice on your part.

If you want to know more, email me. I can answer any questions or give you some support. Im here for ya!!

stephanie.ellick@gmail.com

steph/21/f

Q: 19-female

what are the chances of me getting pregnant if i am on birth control, have been for about three years now and i take it at the SAME time every day and the guy uses a condom?

Jack is right.

ive know 2 seperate girls who like you, took their birth control medication religiously, and used condoms, and still got pregnant.

just be careful, don't double up the condoms, and just know that no matter what you do, there is still a slight chance of pregnancy. there are other things that you can partake in that wont risk pregnancy like oral sex or masturbation.

hope this helps!

steph

Q:

Okay this could get long..

I am absoulouty fed up with my stepmother. My older sister whom is 30 years old and my stepmother have never gotten along. My father and my stepmom have been married for 14 years.

My father: Never really had a good relationship with my older sister and I, Doesn't stand up for himself at all, Barely calls the two of us..and in his eyes my sister and I were always trying to split up him and his wife.

My Stepmother: The bitch whom I can't stand, Talks badly about my older sister in front of my father to me and tries to get me to turn on my sister by saying how she is not responsible and doesn't call my father enough etc.

Okay well..It is now August and my sister sent an email to my dad and stepmother back in April saying how she was fed up with Dad and my stepmom and how my stepmom always told her how to raise her kids and made innapropriate remarks to my sister in front of her children. For example *Around Xmas my stepmother went to visit my sisters kids and the 2 year old girl put on lip gloss and blew kisses at my stepmom and told her that she loved her* and my stepmom yelled out "How sexual!" in short terms the email also stated how my stepmom is a opinionated, selfish, assuming, outspoken bitch (I won't lie, It's true) my father got fed up and called my older sister back and said "have a nice life" wtf? Anyway, I not to long ago wrote an email to my stepmom about how I feel she is the reason why my older sister and my father stopped talking and I can't stand her! Okay IT TOOK MY FATHER 4 DAYS TO CALL ME!!!! I know right.. wow now not to be mean here or anything but my father is Pu$$ywhipped.. He doesn't speak his mind or ANYTHING..it aggravates me and my sister. So he called me left a message for me to call him back but I know if I call him back all he is going to do is lecture me about how my stepmom "is his wife and I should respect that" etc. Either that or maybe he will tell meto have a nice life? I don't know what the hell to do anymore.. I want to tell him how I feel but again I've already had this discussion with him before and I'm sick of it!

Im sorry you are having to deal with this.... it stinks!

My dad was a high paid security guard for NASA here in houston and when he met this lady kim, he left his whole life behind and went with her. She's absolute trash, they live out in the middle of nowhere in a 100 yr old house that's run down. she works at a restarant and he now spends his days behind the register at a dollar store. A DOLLAR STORE. WTF?

His new wife is mean to me thank god I don't live with them, but I feel bad for my little sister because she does! And kim is such a bitch. ...my little sis tells me that kim talks bad about me all the time and verbally abuses my little sis when dads not home and when sis tries to tell him, he calls her a liar!

Neither I nor my sister can figure out exactly HOW this woman came into our life and turned our dad from a successful man. Into a man who has nothing!

My advice is, see if you can talk to him privately. She doesn't need to be there that might make you more nervous. Tell him that kids should come first and that you are happy that he is happy, but you are absolutely miserable because of her attitude. Tell him if nothing changes, you will be forced to cut ties with them and as much as it will hurt you, this is something that you must do for the your own sake. Noone should have to live with such built up resentment!!

Inbox me if you want to talk. Or email me. Im here for you!!

Stephanie.ellick@gmail.com

Steph 21

Q: you were really helpful when you answered my question about how to put pictures onto my ipod touch, anyway, i need to ask your opinion on something, i just bought it on sunday.. and it froze up today (monday) and it didn't unfreeze, until it died, and i had to replug it in. i wasn't home at the time, so it stayed frozen for a very long time. i know ipods sometimes freeze & everything, but i did't expect it to freeze the second day! i haven't even downloaded that many apps or anything like that. it's also having problems syncing and stuff. & it froze for a moment, just before too.

should i exchange it?

I hear ya, that's frustrating when you so much on an electronic.

Hook it up to ur computer. When itunes brings the screen up, check the software version.

If the software is out of date, that's probably the problem.

If the software is good, and it does it again, call apple tech support. They can help you lots. If they can't figure out what's wrong, they should exchange it for you.

Let me know what happens and thanks for messaging me!

Steph =]

Q: Warning - this might come out to be somewhat lengthy

Alright so, August fiftenth is my fifteenth birthday.
I'm getting a bunch of money from my family members and friends.
With that money, I'd like to buy myself a FULL thing of photoshop in the store.
And a laptop with a BUILT-IN webcam.

I want a laptop that will be able to hold my aim, yahoo, myspace, facebook, myyearbook, youtube, ect ect. I wont be downloading anything onto into, possibley iTunes. But no picture editing things or computer games
I'll leave those for my desk top in my room.

Anyway. I'm looking for the cheapest laptop that will hold all that stuff and has a built-in webcam.
Can anyone give me links and stores and prices to any that meet my requirements?
Also, can anybody name stores that sell a FULL thing of photoshop and an estimated price? I think the newest is photoshop cs4?

I WILL NOT but ordering any of these online
So please don't recomment that.

Thankyou (:

i have an awesome mini notebook its called the dell mini 10.1v

it has a built in webcam/microphone, an sd card reader, its really fast and I love it. its only half the price of a full size laptop and does everything a full sized laptop does. the only thing it doesnt have is a disc drive on the side, but thats not really a big deal because it has several USB ports that you can use instead.

i use if for EVERYTHING, facebook, myspace, AIM, email, everything! i dont even touch my old full size laptop anymore...

go to the dell website and look at prices. you can buy them in store you dont have to buy online.

hope this helps!!

steph =]

Q: 14/f

My boyfriend and I were screwing around and I hate to be graphic but we were basically dry humping with just me underwear on.(sort of the this string type) Other than that we were both pretty much as nature intended and I was wondering if there's a chance that something could have maybe slipped a little and gotten me pregnant. There was no penatration but we were touching skin every once and a while so I'm not sure. I'm really freaking out because I'm worried that something might have gotten in there while we were being rough and yes, so please if you could tell me if there's a chance I could have gotten pregnant. I've missed my period by A LOT and am very worried. I'd appreciate any advice or info on this very much. thank you.

the ONLY way that you can be pregnant is if his penis or FINGER was inside of your vagina with cum on it. if there was no penetration of a penis or a cum covered finger into your vagina then there is no way you could be pregnant.

other things can cause irregularity like stress, or even medication, or a change in eating habits.

if you seriously think that anything could have gotten in and you could be pregnant, take a pregnancy test immediately. be mature about the situation and find out if you are pregnant. because if you are, you will need to start taking prenatal vitamins as soon as possible.

i dont think you are pregnant though since you said there was no penetration.

but, the only way to find out for sure, is again, to take a test.

inbox me if you need ANYTHING, im here for you!

hope this helps =]

steph 21

bio

Hi! I'm Stephanie, I'm a 21 yr living in Houston, Texas. I've been living on my own since I was 17 and wouldnt have it any other way. Ive been through many bad things in my life. Instead of letting things hurt me and make me bitter and depressed, I have let them make me stronger. I can give great advice on almost any subject. Im getting married in December to a wonderful man named Chris, and will soon my a military wife! inbox me or email me anytime, id love to hear from you!

stephanie.ellick@gmail.com