Kendra is a young woman working as a professional in Toronto. She's a cat lover, a bookworm and has always had a deeply rooted interest in people, love and what happens when the former attempts the later.
She's been in three long term relationships, lost her mother when she was 16 and has lived through her father's alcoholism and drug abuse. She's a college graduate in journalism and art, has a quirky personality and has acquired some realistic yet romantic beliefs about love and relationships.
She lives with her boyfriend. Life may not have always been good, but it is good now.
Gender: Female
Location: Ontario
Member Since: August 22, 2008
Answers: 207
Last Update: February 14, 2013
Visitors: 15397
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Me: 14/F
Him: 15/M
Okay, I have JUST turned 14 and I have no experience with boys. I've liked boys but I have always wanted to wait to date an all that. Well I really like this boy and I think he could be my first boyfriend. But the problem is I have never made out... Actually, I've never even kissed... This boy seems really sweet and knows I've never had a boyfriend which I hope means he knows that I'm not experienced at all. If he knows this, shouldn't he be uninterested? And if he doesn't, won't he be disappointed? He's pretty experienced and I don't know what he'll expect or if he'll I don't know, not want me? Once he finds out that I don't know what to do... Help? (link)
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14 is really young. It's not a negative thing against you that you're inexperienced. I didn't have my first kiss until I was 16. Everyone's different.
Try not to put so much pressure on yourself. And no, inexperience should not turn a guy off. You are who you are. A male's interest isn't based on what they think a girl's skill level is going to be, but is based on how pretty they think she is, how fun she is to be around, how happy she makes him, how interesting he thinks she is...
Don't worry about experience. It will come in time and with the right boys. Remind yourself that you have chosen not to dive into dating super young (like 12?) and that you're a normal girl who can figure out dating just like everyone else.
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I'm 13 and I just started my period 2 days ago. The first day there was brown period, and then there wasnt any period at night. The next day there was brown period and nothing at night too. Then the next day, there was nothing all day. Is this normal? (link)
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If this is your first period, then I'd say there is nothing wrong. It takes awhile before it looks more like blood. It can be very dark and sticky the first time. After awhile it's more red and less muddy.
As for the stop and go, again, it's your first time. See what happens over the next few months. You'll notice small changes and you'll start to see what is normal for you over time.
Don't be shy to talk to your doctor about this too, to alleviate any concerns you have. They've heard it all before.
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OK so me and my Bf were having some fun yesterday and well the condom broke and he hade come, i am on the pill and have been for a few monthes now like 6-7 and am also on my period i also took a warm bath and attempeted to clean myself, so my question is how doyou properly clean yourself after this happens and should their be anyworry bou getting pregnant? (link)
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As far as hygiene goes, basic warm water and your vagina will do the rest. It's mucous membrane and as such is self cleaning.
However, you can't wash away sperm. You can't kill it with any kind of bathing practices once it's inside of you. If you've been taking the pill correctly, you have a slim chance of getting pregnant in your situation.
To be very sure, you can pick up Plan B at the drug store, which should assure you will not get pregnant. You have up to 72 hours to take Plan B from the time you've had sex.
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i heard that cervical cancer vaccination, is only needed once your daughter is sexually active.
is that true ?
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Incorrect.
Girls must receive the vaccine prior to becoming sexually active if she is to fully benefit from the protection against cancer that it offers. Once she has begun her sex life, she may be exposed to the virus and then the vaccine will not help her if she contracts it.
Best to get it done early, before the girl's had any sex at all. Cervical cancer is a nasty disease.
Even if a young girl says she's not having sex, she may well be. Or there is the possibility of being raped and contracting it that way. You just simply never know.
Please remember this is primarily a vaccine to protect against an awful form of cancer. Not exactly something that should wait if doctors say it could be done now.
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My boyfriend and I always use protection unless I'm on my period. Is it possible for me to get pregnant if I keep doing this? (link)
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You can get pregnant any day of the month. There happens to be days where it's more likely to happen, but all the rest of the days you run the risk, even on your period.
Sperm can live in your body for days. Keep that in mind. If you don't want to get pregnant, you absolutely must use condoms every single time you have sex. Having your period offers no protection against pregnancy.
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Hey im 18/f and my bf is 21/m i just recently started noticing that when we have sex it reallly hurts! It never used to hurt until like a couple weeks ago. Hes not really big either so its not that. The only time it doesnt hurt is if we're doing missionary. Other than that everything else hurts. We could do other positions and it didnt hurt but does now. Is there something wrong with me? I dont have insurance so i cant afford to go to the doctors. Can anybody tell me why this is happening? My boyfriend and i are both clean too.
Thanks a bunch
I will rate high! (link)
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You're in a tough spot because you do need to see a doctor about this. Does your school have a nurse you can talk to?
Do you have a yeast infection? If you do, this could cause you pain, and there are over-the-counter medications to treat it. Yeast infections are pretty obvious, though, and I don't imagine you would be unaware you had one. They're very messy and unpleasant.
You really do need to see a doctor about this. You say you're clean of STDs. If this has recently been confirmed, you can rule that out, which could also be a cause.
Until you can afford the doctor's visit, I would recommend you stop having sex. If you're experiencing unexplained pain during sex, there could be a problem with your uterus (Again you need to see a doctor to know) and as such, you can't risk a pregnancy. Plus if sex hurts, you should avoid it until the problem is resolved medically.
I'm sorry I can't be of more help.
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17/f
Ok so me and my boyfriend have been together for 4 months and just started having oral sex. When he eats me out it feels so ood and he keeps going and going until i tell him to stop. He doesnt understand why I stop and I tell him because its sensitive down there and making it feel too good hurts just a tad. Hes always like I want to make you have an orgasm. Throughout the process I move around and shake and I dont want to moan loud because its kinda embaressing? haha yeah. But do girls cum like guy after giving them head? Or is just me moaning an orgasm? Is that an orgasm? Please helpp! =] thanks (link)
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Sounds like you're on the verge of orgasm but are holding back out of fear of letting go-- totally normal. The sensitivity feels like pain and pleasure and it's like being afraid of going over the edge. But if you do it'll feel amazing.
Women don't typically come like men do. Some women squirt a little (and I've never heard of a man who complained about it), but most don't. A female orgasm is more like a contraction that releases all the build up of sexual tension in a way that feels great.
You may notice you're very wet afterwards, but you're unlikely to notice any additional fluids.
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I am a 17 year old female about 5'10" and 156lbs.
I want to know if my nipples are normal, my cup size is 36b but my areolas are enourmous and are always soft, unless im cold. They take up almost half my breast... thats a lot of nipple plus they are almost the same colour as my skin, the areolas are just a bit brown, then the nipple is a bit darker.
My friends tell me how they get hard nipples when theyre horny. I just feel weird, with my boyfriend all over me, then he pulls off my shirt and gets this flap of skin instead of a propper hard nip.
Is there a way to make them look more normal? or make them hard?
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Your nipples are normal. They come in different shapes, sizes, colours and some have hair. As bodies change and age they continue to alter. Pregnancy changes nipples too.
In fact, a big part of a woman's sexual mystery to a man is what the nipples look like because each pair is unique. You don't need to worry.
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My boyfriend started touching my breast and also my vagina and licking and biting my hands. We didn't have sex (no penetration)!!
P.S. We were clothed(he was wearing thin denim and I was wearing a skirt)
When he was touching and licking me, I think I had sexual arousal and I could feel wet underwear. When I went to the bathroom I saw discharge. Could it be that I was excited and had sexual arousal or was it semen?
He didn't lay on top of me or something, but I'm worrying a bit. My period is due in 10 days.
Could sperm enter my vagina through clothes?
Any suggestions please??
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You experienced sexual arousal. What you were doing with your boyfriend was safe. You can't get STDs or become pregnant from touching, kissing and licking.
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How do you know when you are ready to have sex with someone? I've had a boyfriend for a year sort of. We started dating in July last year, then he broke up with me in April of this year. We got back together in May after he realized he didn't want to be without me. He's not really pressuring me into sex. I know he wants it, but he claims to care too much about me to want to pressure me into doing anything I'm not ready for. I've given him head before but he hasn't done anything for me yet. He's tried, but it didn't go the way we wanted it to. Sorry if I included unnecessary information, but I'd just like to know when or how you know you're ready to have sex. (link)
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You know you're ready when you're not afraid, when you feel comfortable talking about protection, when you're excited about it, and when you know in your heart you won't regret it.
Also, until you're getting sexual pleasure out of foreplay, I'd hold off. Half the reason to have sex is because it feels good. If the foreplay isn't doing it for you yet, the sex will not be worth having.
I can see you're 14. I think most girls your age feel the same way, wondering if they're ready and feeling unsure. The ones who have sex just to please their boyfriends are the ones who miss out.
As for him trying to please you, female genitalia is harder to figure out than male genitalia. Don't feel like there is anything wrong with you if it didn't go well. To enjoy it, you have to feel comfortable with the situation, with your boyfriend and with giving instructions.
In the meantime, try and focus on your own body and genitals. Learn what makes you feel good. Your sexuality belongs to you and the best way to enjoy sex when you're a grown woman is to learn your body when you're young.
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I recently aquired what i think was a mosquito bite. Being itchy I generally did scratch it, which i udnerstand probably made it much worse. Now it doesnt itch at all, but its swelled to an enormous size, all down my leg as well to wear there is nowhere near the bite. It also hurts when I apply pressure to even the other side of my leg. The area is raised and hurts even when I am still and there is no weight being put on my foot. What can I do to cure this, what should I use, and do you think this is just an infected mosquito bite or worse? Thank you so much x (link)
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Get to a clinic. You could be having an allergic reaction, or you could have an infection. This is not likely something you can treat yourself. Pain is a sign something is wrong.
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I'm 13 and yesterday when I went to pee and wiped, I saw a little white flow with little bit blood and I kept wiping until there was nothing. Is this normal or the beginning of my first period?? Do i have to wear panty liner the next few days? (link)
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It's not your first period. However, it sounds like it won't be long before it is. This type of spotting and sparse colouring tends to indicate your period will be starting soon, probably within the year.
They say when you get your period there is not a lot of blood. While this is technically true, it looks like tons. There's no missing it.
Wear a pantyliner to be safe, if it makes you feel better. But if in an hour there's no more blood, it's not your period. It's a pretty continuous stream. There will be no question in your mind when it happens for real, I promise.
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i'm 13 and i just got my period. It's like a dark shade of brown and it's kind of sticky. I'm wearing pads now, but is it really period? and i think pads are really uncomfortable, is this normal for the first time? (link)
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Congratulations!
Yeah, that sounds like a period alright. It's a lot different than you think it's going to be. I remember thinking the same thing.
If pads don't do it for you, you can try tampons. Some old school thinkers don't like young girls to use them, but in actuality it's totally okay.
If you want to give them a try, get the juniors (they're thinner and so it's easier to get used to inserting them). You just relax, aim them towards your back (not straight up) and bend your knees a little. Once the applicator is fully inserted, release the tampon (the instructions in the box will make this make more sense) and voila. You can't feel them, they can't "get lost" and 5-8 hours later you pull the tampon out by the string, which also doesn't get lost.
Otherwise, welcome to womanhood.
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I had sex with my boyfriend a couple days ago. We always use a condom, though I'm not on birth control yet or anything like that. He ejaculated while he was still inside of me, and the condom was perfectly fine but I guess it slid up a little bit, and the semen leaked out of the bottom where the condom ends... and I was just wondering, if he was thrusting/inside while he was ejaculating could that little bit of semen that dripped out cause me to get pregnant?
I'm going to the gynecologist in a couple of weeks but I was just wondering what are some possible side effects within the first few days if there are any... and I've just been noticing little things.. like I ate so much today and had to pee 4 times within the hour... and usually I do things like that but I dont know if there's anything to it or if I'm just making it something bigger than it is. (which is pretty likely)... just wanted your opinions.
thanks.
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Needing to pee a lot is a pregnancy symptom, but not in the first trimester. The urgency to pee comes from a baby pressing against the bladder. If you're pregnant, all you'd have is a bunch of tiny cells.
Early pregnancy symptoms are morning sickness, fatigue, fainting, sensitivity to odour...
If you have sex where an accident occurs with the condom, you have 48-72 hours to take the morning after pill to prevent pregnancy.
Try to stay calm. In a couple of weeks when you see your doctor s/he should be able to determine if you're pregnant for you. If it's been over 72 hours, all you can do is wait.
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Hi
First of all I only want experts advise no one else
I was with a girl and I fingered her after, I noticed that I had blood from here in my fingers I washed it of with water and soup (I think) and I had a slightly peel skin is there any way I can get HIV or any stds? (link)
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I can answer this question: You cannot get AIDS/HIV from fingering. You can only get AIDS from mingling your bodily fluids.
1. Sharing needles mingles bodily fluids and passes on AIDS.
2. Having unprotected vaginal intercourse passes on the virus.
3. Having unprotected anal sex can tear the rectum, mingling bodily fluids and passes on AIDS.
Kissing doesn't pass AIDS, fingering doesn't pass AIDS, hugging doesn't pass AIDS, coughing doesn't pass AIDS...
The AIDS virus does not make skin peel. You probably used a harsh soap or you scrubbed too hard.
If you had an open wound on your finger and the girl had AIDS, then yes you would have a problem.
Use a condom when you have sex, and in the future don't have sex, or oral sex or anal sex with anyone unless you can openly discuss STDs, birth control and other concerns you may have.
Edit: To the above person, I have received comprehensive sexual education first hand and am passing along what I know to be accurate.
However, since I cannot log my doctor and sex ed teachers on Advicenators to confirm on my behalf, I'll provide this website for your reference, despite what other members may have to say about it: http://www.thebody.com/content/art2308.html#fingering
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So I like this guy a lot and He claimed to like me... So he fingered me and I gave him a handjob and now it's like he doesn't like me anymore we talk sometimes still and He's still nice to me but still what do I do ! ? (link)
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Do absolutely nothing. Do not call him, text him, email him or initiate contact. It's possible he only wanted to get a handjob and now that he's got it, he no longer cares.
It's possible he's one of those guys who judges the girls he hooks up with and thinks you're easy and no longer wants you.
Either way, if a boy EVER stops paying attention to you, pay less attention to him. There is no way to make boys like you more. They either do or they don't and they make these decisions really fast.
If I were you, I'd hold off being sexual at all unless you're in a relationship. You start fooling around with guys you're not exclusively dating and they'll judge you for it. It's not fair, but it's the way they are.
I think this guy is a wash. Forget about him and move on. Once they start ignoring you, pretend they died. If they're going to disregard you so easily, you need to tell yourself such a person isn't worth trying to have.
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I'm female.
My boyfriend of four months and I want to get more intimate.
If he was to try something, would he be turned off if I wasn't completely shaved "down there"?
When I shave in that area, I shave with the direction of the hair. If I shave opposite of that, I'll get really bad razor burn and it'll bleed. I have very sensitive skin.
Do you have any shaving/grooming tips? Thanks! (link)
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Nuts to hair removal. Unless you really hate it, don't bother shaving it. Razor burn is the pits to live with on other parts of your body, never mind your genitals.
There are several reasons that pubic hair exists and I'll run you through them:
1. They offer a buffer when you're having sex. Otherwise it's skin to skin (if he's shaving too) and you can experience chaffing. That sucks.
2. It protects your vagina by trapping unwanted debris. Think of nose hairs. Same deal. You're more prone to infection if you remove the hair.
3. It traps your scent. Now, scent is a HUGE deal. If your boyfriend doesn't like your natural vaginal aroma, the relationship is doomed. Half of human attraction is scent based (There's a lengthy scientific explanation. If you look up "scent" and "attraction," you should be able to find it) so you don't want to diminish that by removing the hair.
4. PLENTY of males love pubic hair. Love it. I would be wary of those who need you to shave it. Reasons being they probably watch a lot of porn (Where women are routinely hairless), and hair removal being such a big pain the ass, it'd be rude of them to require it of you.
Trust me, man. Nothing wrong with hair. If it'll help your confidence, trim it up a little. Then remind yourself he's lucky to see you naked in the first place.
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ok well im 16 and my boyfriend and i were both virgins when we decided to have sex. I knew that be fore me he had only gotten oral sex from other girls. i have been on birth control for a while now and we had had unprotected sex before and i have gotten a yeast in fection a while ago then a while after that cleared up we ahd sex again and i had discharge very similar to a yeast in fection but not itchy at all. That didnt clear up for a while but now just every once in a while i will get a white-ish looking discharge. I'm worried i might have an STD or something. what should i do? (link)
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Discharge varies throughout a woman's cycle. However, you want to get into the practice of going to the doctor and discussing your concerns and getting some answers.
Also, since you're sexually active, make sure you get your regular pap test done. Pap tests check for cervical cancer, which you're more likely to get if you're sexually active.
These are things you must take in hand if you've decided to start your sex life.
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If a girl has "dry sex" fully clothed with a guy who is also fully clothed is it possible for the guy to break her hymen (provided it was in tact already)? (link)
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I honestly don't see how it could happen.
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okay , well me and my boyfriend just got into this whole sex thing. well he's experienced for i am not. i lost my virginity to him like 3 weeks back but we had sex 2 more times and it feels like nothing to me no pain no pleasure.. is that weird? and because i dont feel anything i dont do much either which he doesnt like hes always on top doing the work and we kind of loose the moment because i dont feel anything.. and im such a rookie at it i tried being on top i have no clue what to do he laughs at me >.< and when he's on top i dont think he's enjoying since im not really into it myself. and how do you know if your tight or loose? and we've TRIED to have sex 3 times and i just lay there he does the work but it seems hes not satisfied he;s not getting any pleasure out of it? how can i make him feel pleasure? make him feel good? when we have sex its not a good moment when we get into it you know yeah but since i feel nothing and i think he doesnt either it kinda sucks i wanna pleasure him i just dont know how i suck at sex BLAHH!. (link)
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Sounds like he's bad in bed, and is causing you to feel insecure.
You needn't worry about whether you're pleasing him. He's not even pleasing you! Hell no! There is not reason on earth you need to be having sex with someone who can't even give you pleasure. That's a MAJOR component to having sex in the first place.
And for all his "experience", he hasn't learned a thing about making his girlfriend feel sexy, feel loved, feel confident, feel AROUSED even.
Here's what I suggest: Get a vibrator. Teach yourself how to orgasm on your own. That should teach you there's nothing at all wrong with you. You have it in you to enjoy your body.
And from there, you can decide if this sexual partner is for you. He should be appreciative of you. He should be trying to learn what turns you on, exploring your body. Is he giving you any foreplay? Does he give oral?
Seriously, man, you don't suck in bed. Men who suck in bed have themselves to thank when their girlfriends aren't enjoying themselves.
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