Member Since: May 3, 2011
Answers: 1053
Last Update: December 12, 2012
Visitors: 30803
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Okay, Well before you answer my question I want you guys to know My mom had bought me four new phones in one month and she had to pay for 50$ each because three of them didn't charge like a week my mom paid for the replacement, And The last one broke because my friend accidently broke in water at a skating rink, That was a month ago and now i am ready to be responsible for a cellphone again..But everytime i mention a new phone for me she just laughs or says "Not gonna hapen"! I really want to have another phone to keep in contact with my friends cause im moving soon..HWAT DO i DO? i AM 13 (link)
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Your mom is my hero!
Anything you want you gotta earn it in this life and that includes trust. That $50 is hard won by your parents and I can't help but to think how they resent it when you treat their money with so little regard for what it took for them to acquire it.
So I raise a glass to your mom because she is being a parent and not your friend, which is what she is supposed to be.
In the meantime, wait until you're 16 and can get a job and obtain your own phone yourself. Then maybe you will be a little more appreciative of what your hard working parents have given you.
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How do you get a bigger butt naturally? Is there any way to do this or do I have to have surgery? (link)
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You don't need a bigger butt. Not everyone can be Beyonce in that regard. We all have our vices and our virtues. Just lead a healthy lifestyle, be glad that you live in America, have a roof over your head and eat regularly because a good chunk of the world doesn't, especially since women who have plastic surgery for purely cosmetic reasons seem frivolous by making their bodies their paramount statement and not who they are or what they accomplish.
Too many women pick at their looks. Relax, get a sense of proportion and realize the good in you.
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I am 17 years old and i have a boyfriend that is the same age. Me and my boyfriend have been in a long distance relationship for 2 months now and i really love him. Here's the problem, i wanna have sex so bad. Ever since i popped my cherry the other day i just want it really bad. The only thing is with him livin so far, he can not satisfy me in that area. what should i do, i honestly want to marry this boy, its just that i want sex really bad but dont want to cheat on him. what should i do (link)
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First, keep in mind that your brain is still developing and will up through the age of 25. So your feelings, sensibilities and thinking are going to go through several different permutations before you become a fully realized adult. So definitely don't think of marrying this guy yet. Heck, you might prefer a totally different kind of guy in a couple years time. And he might want a very different sort of girl.
I understand the sexual feelings. That's natural. Just make sure you're on the pill and use condoms. In addition, You have to realize that guys that age are very sexually focused and absence of a significant other often leads to doing some stuff on the side. It happens and isn't your fault, it just is what the situation is.
Too, you have to realize that you actually don't have that much experience with each other. You're basically just very occasionally dating. Dating someone and then living with them 24/7 are two very different propositions and then if you throw a kid into that mix that is a whole other ballgame. Do yourself a favor and wait at least until you finish college before settling down. Don't let your teenage insecurity get the best of you and make you do something rash you'll regret.
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I think my mom is cheating on her birthday he asked her what she wanted for dinner because he wanted to cook for her and her answer was NO. That evening I went to her job and there was two big ballons and flowers there. So I thought it was from my dad. It was from a guy named Sam. (link)
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Relax, dude. Don't turn something into a drama before all the evidence is in.
If you're insecure about the relationship between your mother and father, you can sit down with your mom and ask her if things are rocky between her and your dad. Just realize that if you do that it can open up a big can of worms. I would wait and see for a while. Sometimes couples go through rough patches and then the crisis ebbs.
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My boyfriend is awesome. I love him sooo much. He says he loves me2 and he tells the world that he loves me, but sometimes he drops hints like, "So my friends was like 'so when are you & Brianna gunna start f******.' & I couldn't think of an answer."
I couldn't think of an answer either. I sort of want to wait til I'm married because it'll be more special 2kno that I saved myself for the best, but since I am teenager & the hormones are retarted, I usually get sorta kinky around him I really want him!!! I don't kno wat 2do. Should I let him bust the cherry now or after the I do's? I do kno thoe that he doesn't just want me for that because I just kno him when I look in his eyes that he wouldn;t do that.
I'm 13 & female (link)
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Your feelings and emotions about this are completely normal.
The main thing to remember is that it is your life you are living alone. Nobody else can live it for you. So you must do what is right for you according to what would make you happiest and not allow others to make that call for you or you will regret it later. If you want to wait until you have sex then wait. Take control of your life.
One other thing: guys use sex as an indicator of their dominance. That is why they want it for social reasons (hormones make them want it due to genetically predisposed lust). And the natural fact is that at your age he is going to really suck at it and it hurts because neither of you are really all that in touch with not just the bodies of the other, but how to communicate with each other.
So your boyfriend wants to get laid in great part to impress his friends. He doesn't know what deeply emotional love is yet. So he looks at this as being like sports. Every batter wants to hit a homer everytime up in baseball and every guy wants to bed as many chicks as he can because he can get the approval of his buddies that way. Thus, right now, you are just the ball he wants to pound over the wall so he can get the high five from his mates and put something up on the board. That makes it all the more reason to wait a few years at least before you get intimate with a guy, one who knows his way around a woman better and can be responsible about it.
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my boyfriend asked me "babe , can i have some porn pics of you? :\ "
do you think i should do it? and what exactly do i take a photo of?
im 13 by the way (link)
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Tell him to get lost. First of all, if he had nude or sexual pics of you he would be guilty of possession of child porn. Furthermore, you have nothing, and I mean nothing, to gain by this. This country is really screwed up in its thinking about sex and even if the guy is the aggressor in stuff like this the girl inevitably catches the biggest share of blame by insecure busybodies.
Also, just for future reference, remember this:
All pics and videos of you that are of a sexual nature will end up on the net at some point. A lot of guys get their revenge by posting footage of their exes on amateur porn sites. And what is on the net is forever. So there is seldom any reason for you to agree to have immodest pics or video taken of you at anytime.
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I love my crush and I know he likes me,but somehow he doesn't want to hang with me.Is there something wrong with my looks/attitude or is it just because Im a girl and we're both in the 5th grade ( both 11 years old)? Or is it were just kind of breaking off each other? I really have a big like for tthe boy but what can I do? SOS!! :( (link)
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It's purely a confidence issue. He is afraid that if he makes a big move you might reject him and then he will feel humiliated. Young guys have rather fragile egos. If you know he likes you then just go up to him and tell him how you feel.
Keep in mind, though, that relationships at your age tend to be brief. So don't get too down if it ultimately doesn't work out.
And by the way, don't turn everything into a question of your self worth or your looks, etc. Relax, like yourself, be a good person and just enjoy life.
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Today I was talking to my girlfriend on the phone while I was doing homework. I was actually making progress on it (more than I would have otherwise) because I was doing something I enjoy at the same time. My dad yelled at me to hang up the phone and get off of the computer so that my brother could play his computer games. I tried to explain the situation but he wouldn't listen. He said I was talking to my girlfriend on the phone in order to avoid homework. He didn't understand that it was actually helping me. I am afraid to tell him that multitasking is actually a better way for me to study. As I said my goodbyes to my girlfriend he continued to yell at me. I tried talking to him in a calm voice which just made him mad. He grabbed my arm and pushed me against the radiator (my back really hurts) and told me that I was giving him bullshit. My own father won't listen to me and I don't know how to get the message to him that I need him to let me take care of my own academics. I feel like I will go more insane than I already am if this doesn't end. (link)
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There are three problems here:
1. Your father approached this in an abusive manner and needs therapy. There is no excuse for physical violence in this context unless you were giving him a lot more guff than what you are letting on. Tell him to take out his control issues on someone else. If he strikes you, call the cops.
2. When you live in a multi-person household and have a dial up account, sharing the phone line becomes an issue. Sorry dude, but you have to share. That is just one of those things that comes with the territory. The phone was an issue when I was a kid, except it was due to me and my girlfriends talking about mostly trivial crap for long periods and that was before the invention of the cellphone.
3. If you perform better in a multi-tasking environment (I don't, but I'm not you and neither is anyone else) then talk to your teacher about it and see if he/she can help put you in situations where you can do more of that to get assignments done but yet doesn't infringe on your family's shared computer time. Everyone has his/her own individual learning/tasking style. So glad you found yours. Now see how far it can take you.
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My Brother is 36 and is supper nice guy He would do anything for anyone. He is hard worker. But He is not the most good looking and is very shy and has a hard time talking with others. But he is also the type of guy that once you know him you will most likly like him. As do the people that work with him. He was Sped-Ed student in school so he really does not have friends his own age and never dated anyone. But i know he like to be married so how can i help him. (link)
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Unfortunately, by doing that you are putting pressure on him to lead a certain lifestyle and are perhaps inadvertently reminding him of his lack of social skills.
So first need to ask him what he wants because it is his individual life and not yours or anyone else's. Then ask him if he wants you to help him find a mate. If not, back off. Often times people who are used to being alone adapt to it and find their own way of leading life and so when a more "conventional" mindset is imposed from without then that can upset their personal psychological apple cart somewhat.
So this is tricky. I understand what your motivation is and can't really criticize it, but try not to force things and perhaps attempt, instead, to put him in comfortable situations where he can stumble across someone in a more organic way. That advice is unfortunately vague and I'm sorry for that. But just be careful in how you approach this issue.
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Rather than ask a question, I'd like to pose a theory and get some feedback from it. In a way, this is asking for advice, but really, I need opinions. Id like to state from the beginning that this is something I've been revising for several years now and it has to do with life in general, or rather, happiness. It's a bit abstract in concept and requires some serious thought, as I'd like honest, thoughtful responses. Now that you've all been warned, here is the theory:
Happiness. What is it? How can we achieve it, and what significance does it have? Do some value it more than others, or is happiness the general goal that individuals strive for in their lives?
Over the past 4 years I've been exposed to certain stimuli that have changed my personality and mind in a very drastic way. I used to be an average girl, with average thoughts and concerns such as "I wonder if this boy likes me" and "I really hope I get invited to that party or become really popular in high school" My freshman year of high school I came across a movie that dramatically changed my life. It was called the Secret, if any of you know about it, and really it wasn't a movie but an inspirational video made to help people get over hardships and be happy. This film had a pretty strong effect on me and of course I tried doing the things it suggested although it was pretty outrageous in it's explanation of how the world works. (It's worth seeing if this kind of stuff interests you) However, that film was only the beginning. Throughout high school i became engrossed in this idea of happiness. I researched it, spent hours online looking up ideas and theories on it. I even made it my senior project and presented it to my entire class. While doing all of this, I was living life by the theories I had been discovering. One day at lunch while talking to my roommate about a problem she was having, she asked me: "you know when you have one of those days where you just don't feel good no matter what and you are upset but you don't really know why" and I tried hard to empathize with her but couldn't. I honestly answered her "No, actually" She looked at me funny and went back to eating her sandwich, but that whole rest of the day I tried so hard to think of the last time I had had a bad day and how I felt and the answer was still happy. In high school, I wasn't particularly popular, I didn't have a boyfriend, I wasn't extremely involved in school, but I was always happy. I had gone through some bad experiences, in college I was in an abusive relationship, but nothing too extreme, still I remained happy. So that day I went home and I wrote this:
"Life is not what you see. It's what you ARE. Life is you, and therefore if you are happy, life is happy. But how do you stay happy all the time? How do you isolate those moments where you feel good, ecstatic, excited or even just happy that you're alive when happiness seems so fleeting. Well, we MAKE it. That's the answer. You create your own happiness, even if it's not there. If you lack happiness, make some. Creation is the vessel through which we guide ourselves to success. And creation can be anything from a thought or idea, to a drawing or a piece of paper with your handwriting on it or a cookie freshly baked in the oven. Creation is everything that is around us, and the power to create lies within us, so how can we not be happy if we have the ability to make happiness. The ways in which we control our bodies and minds are what ultimately make us unique, but we are all the same in the respect of the power we have to create. We just have to rewire our brains to think in the positive process of creation. The ways in which ultimate happiness can be achieved:
- Acceptance: this is key to not allowing the outside world to influence our state of well being. When something happens that we do not have control over, we must accept that it has happened and try to move forward. We cannot dwell or ask why because that is not accepting. Once you accept something, you can move past it, so this is the first step. Acceptance is the only thing that allows you to remove negativity and misery from your life.
- Positivity: an obvious but underestimated way of thinking. There is not reason why something shouldn't work out the way we want it to, if we believe it. Why is it that people say "I'm not being negative, just realistic" What makes something realistic or not. A good outcome is just as realistic as a negative one. We can't want something but not believe it is within our reality to get it.
- Gratitude: this allows for acceptance and positivity to create bliss. When we are accepting of the things that happen, and hopeful for the things that will happen, and thankful for the things that have already happened that we enjoy, we open ourselves to greater joy because already we have so much.
- Love: unconditional love for every experience we encounter, if its something we enjoy. Don't just like it, love it. Dwell in how much you love something, and keep loving it no matter how long its been in your life. This applies not only to people but also to experiences and objects.
- Authenticity: this is the other key to bliss. Find what makes you come alive, and go do it. BE true to yourself. We are so different that if everyone were true to themselves we would start to see that we don't all want the same things, and therefore we can all have what we want. Also, if we develop an attitude or want that is not true, that is taken from another, we will constantly be the second best version of that attitude and know it, therefore we can never be happy. Why be the second best version of something when you can be the first best version of yourself?
So there you have it, this what I've come to know and believe in my 20 years of life. Since that day when I wrote this down I have been looking into how we can achieve those things. Evidently we are human, and therefore falter, myself included. But I'd really like some input on what you guys think of this theory and maybe what objections you have...or thoughts... any advice is welcome. Do you agree, disagree, and why?
Thank you!
(link)
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Read Erich Fromme's "Escape from Freedom>" I think it will give you another insight that will expand your view of how people and life works.
The main things for me is to find things you enjoy doing, have a sense of proportion (for example, I don't particularly like my job, but it keeps me fed and sheltered and how I live would be considered a vision of paradise by the standard of how half the world lives, so when I start getting a little melancholy I realize that a lot of it is just abject whining) and like yourself by being the best human being you can. When you are a reasonable, compassionate person who loves doing things in life then that happiness is easier to attain even if you don't have a significant other.
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i'm 14 and i've been going out with my boyfriend since december. we don't go to the same school, and he lives about 20-30 away if i'm walking and he has a dad who rarely lets him out. i haven't seen him in a month and we haven't really talked since a conversation about breaking up. i'm scared to lose him..even if he says we'll still be friends, i'm afraid things won't be the same.
how do i make things better? what do i say to him in person since he avoids me on facebook? (link)
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If his dad is couping him up in the house at that age in an excessive way (unless he is on restriction for something he did) then the father has control issues. However, without more complete information it's too hard to really judge just what is going on in that regard.
Now, as for your relationship, at your age, you have to step back and look at it like this:
1. You aren't going to marry this guy, so try not to get too obsessed with it and end up creating all kinds of unnecessary drama. Take some control of this situation and tell him that you need to be together more often and if you can't then you need to move on. Only you can live your life, so don't let others keep you from what makes you happy. Think about what you want out of a relationship and then try to get yourself with people who can make it happen. Take control of your life and go for what you want out of it. No guts no glory, right?
2. Your brain is still developing and that coupled with your lack of knowledge of how people specifically and the world in general work leads to a lot of anxiety. So you have a lot of exploring, reading and learning to do. The more information you have the better. Always keep yourself in a position in which you have all the options open to you and don't overthink things. No need to get so serious at such a young age.
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I took my friend to walmart to get something on the way back i had an accident and he went with me to take pictures of the car and he showed people we both know, but then he was also showing random people the car. then i got mad and cursed him out and talked shit about him on facebook. Was that as awfulas it seems. i think i have some validity i felt he was going to far to get attention and having my business out there all at once. (link)
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I'm sure you were embarrassed by the accident. That your friend continued to make such a big deal about it was pretty rude and inane. Your friend really needs a lesson in boundaries and you may have given him one by verbally ripping his head off.
Talking shit about him on Facebook, though, took it too far. So both of you need to learn a sense of proportion. Embarrassing your friend before the entire planet is at least as bad as him embarrassing you on the local level in the aftermath of the accident. Apologize to the friend but tell him calmly but firmly not to embarrass you like that again or your friendship will be over.
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19/m
I started talking to one of my old friends, who I used to have a huge crush on. He was so sweet and amazing, but nothing ever came out of it. And he has told me that he has absolutely no feelings for me, but I just can not get over him. I am still so attracted to him that it is not even funny. I want so bad to go out with him, I have for the longest time. But he has no interest. What should I do? (link)
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Life is what it is sometimes and not everybody is going to feel the same about things as you do. Kids your age sometimes get a little overinvested in one person and the insecurity inherent in a teenager also makes rejection especially painful. But part of being an adult is learning to cope with disappointment.
Also, you are going to meet loads of other people during your journey through life and like them as much as you like the guy in question now. So relax, take the long view, learn to roll with it and look forward to tomorrow.
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