xLiisten2urheart's advice column

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Q: Okay well a like a month ago, me and my bf had sex, and he didn't wear a condom. he lets call it "let go" no in me but a little lower than my lower stomache. Now see my period was supposed to start today, but it didn't, and i'm sure it'll come soon, but the thing is about 5-6 days after we had sex a month ago, i got my period.

Can i still be pregnant by any chance?

and i'm 14.

thank you.

Ok, well wow. only 14...jeeezze. ok but look. It's possible for you to get pregnant but for some reason i highly dout it. you have like a 30% of being pregnant and a 70% chance of not. But for one thing; gosh use protection. if you are still going out with this guy he probably knows that you started and he'd probably want to do it again. but USE PROTECTION...and wow. i'm just blown out of my mind. keep in mind that u could have STD's floatin around...and that isn't good but wow. 14 year old having sex before marriage, before her period, and before she even got out of high school. ok but this is my final answer:

* You are probably not pregnant *
note the probably;i would go to the doctor and have them check. and i would tell your parent/ gaurdian about that or your not gonna be able to go to the doctor's to find out. and if by any chance you are pregnant...don't get an abortion. i'm totally against it. if you are and you think about it...think of this
you and your bf created that baby, no matter what you're gonna love it and if you kill it your going to feel bad. trust me i know many people who have had an abortion. ok but well go to the doctor and have them check it out but feel free to e-mail me at xLiisten2urheart@aim.com just in case you want to talk to me and not have everyone on advicenators know about it ;) hehe. well hope it goes well!

-Steph

Q: i have known my this girl ashley since like 1st grade we were like best friends up until the summer going into eigth grade we had so much fun together we never stopped laughing and with my other friends we grew apart but nothing wood ruin are friendship or atleast thats what i thought during the summer going into 8th grade we had a HUGE fight like it was crazy but the weird thing is i dont remember what its about or who started it but it was big so big that its almost then end of 8th grade and even when i walk by her in the hall there is anger in are eyes we havent even talked since the fight and were going to high school next year and i really wanna just be friends again but i dont no what to do i refuse to talk 2 her because then it would be to acword so i need to no what to to 2 be friends with her again other then some cheesey answer like talk it out should i even try to be her friend anymore idk please help!!!

I'm sorry but really that's what you're going to have to do. But you have to ask yourself this...do you miss her being in your life or does it really effect it. You need to choose which one. And speaking that you have been friends for a long time that's even harder. But you have to write her a note, e-mail her, i.m. her, txt her, or talk to her someway. I had this situation happen and finally i just got sick of it and i went up to her. Also remember that every pair(s) of best friends get in a big fight or tiny small little ones. hehe. I'm in that problem right now. I have 4 like awesome friends but i dont' get a long with one but the one thati'm most closest to does. and we get in tiny fights about stupid stuff like pencils, homework, test grades, hair, really weird stuff like that. then finally i just said "Look, i kno i hate u sometimes but i mean u can't be all that bitter and angry at me but then again i can't be that way either..." and there was more but yea. it happends to EVERYONE so don't worry. It'll all b okay at the end if you get it worked out!

-Steph

Q: my face is oily but whenever i have foundation or concealer on my forehead, it seems like its peeling, like i can see the little skin peeling off.. but its not alot.. what is this and how do i get rid of it? i use mosturizer so i dont know.. and also how can i get rid of the oil on my forehead?

Here's what i would do.

When you wake up take a wash cloth and use some gentle cleansing wash that's either soap free or use oil free wash. I use the soap free stuff! it works good.
Then i would use some shinefree poweder hmm i think i got it from maybelline... yea it's called shine free and it's from maybelline lol.
A reason you could have a really oily face is you might be out in the sun too long or you just have that type of skin...that's they way mine is. But then afterwards put the rest of ur make-up on so it looks natural looking.

then at night wash it off. if you leave make-up on over night it clogs up pores which can cause blackheads...zits form usually because of stress. But use the same scrub in the morning or use a nightly facial for olay that's what i use also. It works really well and it also helps prevent blackheads, oily skin, and zits. If you have any more questions just ask me i'd be glad to help!

Hope it works out for ya!!

-Steph

Q: I have a social studies project for school & I gotta make a "shortcut" which is like a newspaper article. & my topic to do the shortcut on is Ancient Rome Government. the title has to be something short and catchy and goes with ancient rome government. any ideas? if you tried i'll give you 5.

hmm Ancient Rome...we just studied that. Ok so it has to be for the newspaper and it's gotta be about Roman Government. Hmm what about...

The Feds of Ancient Rome!?

Government...Too Strict?

Harsh Officials...

Royalty or a Royal Pain?

well that's hard that's all i have i hope that helps a little!

-Steph

Q: I'm thinking about getting a perm. If anyone has ever gotten one could you tell me if you liked it or not? Or the pros and cons of it. And what is more "in style" these days, straight or wavy hair?

Ok well i mean i have curly hair. and people think it's a perm but i have friends who have gotten perms but to me striaght it the style in the summer but there's other opinions plus i mean i can't straighten my hair everyday of the summer. but some pros and cons of a perm hmm let's see.

Good:
If you get a loose perm it's fun and energetic.
You can do many things with curly hair and it always looks pretty
Your hair's curly!

Bad:
You can't wash it right aftewards
It has a fowl smell for like week
You have to keep doing it if you want it curly
you can't brush it (like use a brush) u have to use a thick comb to come it through or your curls will loose it curliness.
______________________________________

but you can ask for loose or tight curls. I would get just a normal perm or a loose perm and you can straighten your hair if you have the patience to deal with all of the curls. but there is a bad thing about perms...your hair is pretty frizzy but i use Tresema frizz- gell which helps it a lot! but a good idea of after you do get out of the shower is to scrunch it with a towl and use smooth cream and just massage it in your curls and scrunch it with your fingers!

but curls look good on everyone..that's what i think!

Good luck!

-Steph

Q: im 16, male. i have been out with this guy before, andi broke his heart. i still love him and he says he still loves me but he has a boyfreind. i would do anything to have him back but he says he just can't trust me. were getting along great now but i still want him back.

hmm. i would just keep it going and like don't push it or anything cause you dont want to loose him. and i dont think you broke his heart if he still loves you!

-Steph

Q: I have my 8th grade graduation on june 15th.we have to wear dresses, and i want to loss weight so i can look really good in my dress.im about 5'4, 180 pounds, so im quite overweight.i want to try to loose a lot of weight before then, like a noticable amount.im also going to be leaving my middle school and going to the highschool, so i want to loss weight before then to wow everyone before we go off to highschool.

i cant really "diet" that much,because my mom buys the food for my house,but does anyone have any ways to loss weight fast?like excersize suggestions or something?i have a Tony Little Gazelle Edge Fitness System, and i play softball on a team 2 days a week(wednesday and sunday), if that helps any.

im extremely self concience and wear a sweatshirt everyday to hide myself.i would love to be able to wear regular shirts and not a sweatshirt now that the warmer weather is coming,and my graduation.

if everyone says different things i can do, that would be great because then i could make up a plan with many different things.

sorry that was really long!thanks so much to anyone that helps!

Thats awesome that you want to loose weight but you have to do it in a healthy way. You do have a little while to loose weight enough time to show a difference. Do plenty of cardio workouts like running and burning calories. I'm pretty skinny but i stay that way by eatin 2 apples...(i think they are yummy) and eatin all my main food groups...well most of them...i dont' like vegies haha. And exercise EVERYDAY here's a plan that i do when i see that i'm getting a little over weight. and you're not heavy or fat or anything let me tell you that! :)

In the morning (school days) when u wake up; stretch your legs and arms. then do 5 push ups and 15 crunches.
On the weekends run atleast a mile or more. or walk as much as you want for an hour and a half.

but when you have free time. run. stretch. do crunches...crunches help you burn calories and it get's your abs stronger so you get a slimmer look. and eat healthy eat breakfast lunch and dinner...dont skip meals. it doesn't help to skip it just makes your body run more and you feel tired.

one key to a slimmer body is sleep too! you don't even kno it but you do loose some calories and fat while you're sleeping. get atleast 10 hours. 9 is okay but 8 is too little. plus if u get more sleep you can wake up early enough and feel energized so you can walk/run in the morning!

But trust yourself and watch what you eat, how much you eat it, and dont' over exercise. if you have anymore questions e-mail me or just ask me the question on my site!

-Hope it goes well!

-Steph

Q: I heard that in England and some parts of Europe, you can get a degree for your major without taking "required classes". Is that true?

Like if one wanted to be an architect, one would only have to take classes to be an architect.

Hmm. I'm sorry i dont' think it is. But i would ask a teacher or professor or whoever to be sure.

Q: heyy ok i need to get a tan like really bad whats the fastest way to get one (no fake tans please!) if i go outside in the sun do i wear sunscreen? if so do i wear a lot of a little? or should i use tanning oil? ill rate 5's! please help!

Ok if you want a tan just put a 10-15spf and hang out in the sun. The more you move you'll get it all around. But cover you face with a 20spf because your face burns really easily. But after your done mayb for like a hour come in and reaplly and put some aloe spray or gel overtop for one it relieves burn spots and two it absorbs SOME sun and let's your skin be nice and tan. Don't use tanning oil. Well that's my opinon to me it's just not worth it...sunscreen is cheaper anyways. but if you just lay out in the sun becareful and be sure to flip over every 15-30 min. well good luck
and happy summer!!!

-Steph

Q: i might get some really stupid immature answers to this but whatever
i was wondering what guys think about girls who are naturally a bit more hairy than other girls, like darker hair on their arms for example. usually among girls its understood as being beyond your control since its because of your background, but i dunno if guys only see it as like 'eww, gross, shes hairier than me'. i just wanted to know if they are, in general, bothered by it or if they dont care. (doesnt only have to be guys who answer this, by the way)
thx!

No! I don't have dark hair but i do have a little more than normal (i was a preme lol) but we can't help it plus guyz shouldn't really care "how much hair you have" that's just plain weird if they're only looking ont he outside beauty...if you talkin about a certain guy he ain't worth it if he's judgin u by how much hair you have!

Q: I was in class today and these guys that I know were taking stupid pictures with their cell phones. Like, doing things that looked sexual (like taking a pic with 2 fingers together).

Well anyways, two of them came over and sat with me and my friend. We didn't think anything of it because we're all okay friends and they always come over to talk to us.

One of them pretended to be texting and the other one had his finger up to the camera and he took the picture. I didn't even know they had taken one until someone else said something about it to me.

I asked to see this picture and it looked like my mouth was open (because I was talking) and about to give oral (the guy's finger).

That really pissed me off because I was like ummm wtf, ya know? So I told they guy to delete it because it was such an asshole move. He said no, it's his cell and he can do whatever he wants.

So my real question, if I go to my AP and tell him what happened can my AP look through the guy's phone and get him in trouble becuase it's such an inappropriate picture?

Hmmm. Wow. Well first of all i don't know if it was the best idea to "pose" that way which i bet it wasn't intentional. But you probably could just tell ur AP that you didn't know he was taking the picture and i bet they would end up deleting it...just hope that he didn't upload the picture to his phone!!!

Ok yea. That was kind of mean. Excuse the "pose"thing lol. i wasn't totally sure the case. but i would just go to ur AP and tell him/her i mean that's totally unnecessary!

Q: for a school project i need to find the lyrics to a song that means something to me or has importance in my life. will someone find me a website that has the lyrics to "Me Voy De Party" by Los Sabrodos. please dont tell me to try google because i need an exact site, thanks! :-D

I would go to www.letssingit.com they have a TON of lyrics and plenty more so just type in either the singer/ album/ or the lyrics and you're on your way!!!

-Steph

Q: I know that there is waterproof mascara, and eyeliner too. But is there such thing as waterproof concealer, powder, or foundation? If so what are the brands and where can I get it at? Thanks.

From what i know of i am pretty sure there's not. If you want waterproof concealer and foundation and stuff i would just use the liquid and then the powder stuff. Sorry if i wasn't much help. But from what i know of there's only waterproof mascara and eyeliner oh and lip stick but that's it.

-Steph

Q: Hi,
I am a Canadian female who is seeking advice on a difficult problem. My bf and I have a semi-long distance relationship and he is closer to me now because he is home for the summer. Next year he will be back at his college far away and his landlord won't allow visitors and he doesn't have much money to come see me, so I want to spend as much time in the summer with him as possible while keeping him seeing his family in mind. I wanted him to come and stay at my residence for two weeks and my mom even offered to pick him up and pay for his ride back home, but his parents said no. His parents are very strict and he got into a fight with them that same day. He is an adult and I have tried to get him to stick up for himself and told him that if he really wanted to see me he would accept the ride slam the door and do it, but he keeps giving me excuses. Now I am wondering if he really doesn't want to see me but he stresses that he does, but he can't stick up for himself. What should I do? How can I get him to stick up for himself or convince him to come see me? Whenever I try to bring it up he gets upset and wants to change the subject.
Help???
Thank you.

What i would personally do is just talk to him and maybe talk to his family. You just have to get up the courage to actually talk and make sense. Just say what you want to be able to. You might need to sacrafice things but if u like even love this guy i bet you would do it. ( of course it depends on the sacrifice) lol.

Hope it works out!

-Steph

Q: prom is on may 13th - i know less then 2 weeks! i still don't have a date & i really want to have one! i am not great friends with many guys, so i don't really even have much of a choice on who i can ask. i have one friend (we don't like hang out or anything, but we talk in school) who i considered asking but then i realized (& a friend agreed with me) that he most likely doesn't want to go to the prom at all. she used to joke with him (before she knew i wanted to go with him) about prom 7 he would always say he wasn't going & he doesn't want to go. however, he's basically the only one i can even really think of as a possibility, so should i ask him anyways? i also don't know when to get him alone to ask him if i do (i don't want to do it infront of people, but i want to do it in person). what should i say to make him see i want to go with him. also i don't think he's likes to dance, so would it be stupid to ask him? i want to dance, but he probably would say no to going & to dancing. what would you do?!?!!? (i don't know him really well, just as sort of an in-school friend)

I know everyone wants to go to the prom with someone...i'm not there yet but i have a cousin who i'm pretty close with. What i would do is just start a convo w/ him and kind of go into the prom thing like "the proms commin up...u going with anyone?" and if he says "i'm not going" say something like "oh. ok i was just wondering if you would go with me" and u never know that could change his mind!

Q: Ok i've been stuck on this one thing scense september i like this guy and i've only talked to him twice sence september and friday is the last day i get to see him and i really am trying to work up the courage to talk to him and it sounds easy in my head but it really isn't personaly so if you could tell me what to do that would really be great!

Ok well first just like take a deep breath and tell yourself you can talk to him. I liked this guy and his locker was right by mine! Lucky me lol but i mean i would just say random things like what book do we need for 5th period? stuff like that and after a while i actually told a friend that i liked him and she asked him out and he said YES! but eventually we found out that we didn't have that much in common but first i would just like talk to him and see how he acts to certain questions. keep them within school functions and i'm still friends with my ex but i have his cell number an we still talk so you never kno you could be good friends or "friends with benefits" lol but just one thing to remember;:
BE URSELF!

hope it all goes well!!!
-steph

Q: hey, what are some really good ceremic hair straighteners? like what brands? and im not talking about an ok job, im talking a drastic change from like poofy to smooth straight and silky. it would be great if you could answer with straighteners under 40 dollars? thanks, ill rate fives for any ideas.

Just so you know i have CURLY, POOFY, and THICK! so i know exactly how to straighten my hair :) ; well i would first buy a smoother spray and spray it all over your hair. Then just like take a normal 20-50 dollar straightener and take small sections and straighten it by pieces. You want to be careful because you don't want to fry your hair cuz that causes really bad damage. You also could get a straightener with either Conair on really any other brand that has adjustable heat nobs. But other than that when you get out of the shower just take a brush and hold the dryer about an inch to 2 inches from the brush and just brush it straight. It might be a little fizzy but you can use Treseme fizz away :)

Good Luck!!!
-Steph

Q: is there a cirtain way to shave your armpits and leggs??

Not really. But to shave your legs i would start from the ankle and go up towards your knee. But you don't want to go too fast or you can get cuts...trust me they sting! But if u use soap and/or shaving cream you'll be okay.

For your armpits start a little higher than where your bra comes up (on the side by your ribs lol) and just make sure you be careful so you don't slip the razor but you should do fine but first start out slow and then go a little faster and before you know it it'll only take you about 5 min. :) and good luck!!!

-Stephanie

bio

alright well 1st off my name is Stephanie.
i'm 13... in 8th grade

i cheered my 8th grade year. i didn't cheer 6 or 7th [that was volleyball]

i love sports

i love God!

uhm. anything else i guess just i.m. me

-Stephanie

p.s. i'll proly get a new column soon. xLiisten2urheart the name is getting boring. lol...but then again i might wait a while.