winteromancex's advice column

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Q: so my parents are cutting back alot on christmas this year. one of my friends said that they were still spending alot on us but i dont think they are. i want to see what parents normally spend on christmas. i honestly dont want a bunch of rich kids anwsering because we all know that you guys get spoiled (no offense, i do too thought)if it helps theres 3 kids in my family. so i just want a rough number of what your parents normally spend.

Well...I'm gonna have to say maybe $1000 or more in total for me and my one sibling. My family is rich though, so you might not want to go by that. Like im getting an i-pod video 80 kb, and my younger brother is getting a wii and other stuff, so yeah.

Hope it helped, but remember its the thought that counts, but i totally understand if you're worried about their finances =)

Q: My friend, she grew up havin a hard life... and so did her boyfriend, but his was really bad with an abusive father who was really bad. and know her boyfriend is like pshyco. I love my friend to death, and her and this boy have been going out for 8 months or more now and shes so in love with him. The other night she came over and she told us a story. He beat her up, threatened to kill her, and told her to get in a cage and she said no so he started beating her up. shes only 14, same with him. Im scared to death for her, but i know she loves him. He's been sent away to soo many places to try and fix him, but none work. Does anybody know any advice to try and help him.. Iknow when hes not in one of his pshyco stages his a really big sweat heart.. but what if someday something more happens, and he really hurts her/ or worse.

Tell your friend. Not to leave him fi she loves him, but thgat she can't be alone with him, adn that if she really loves him then she needs to take him to psychiatrist or a mental hospital before he does something that will ruin his life. She needs to realise that telling on him is the best way to help him. Even if its just to her parents and maybe if she talks to him when hes not being insane (with a parent present) that things'll get better. He needs her right now/ He needs to know that he has friends and family, and he needs help.

Hope it helped =)

and I seriously hope this guy can get some help and turn his life around.

Q: my eye has been hurting for the last few days. Atfirst it felt like there was something in it, like an eyelash, but that feeling went away quickly. It's been red and it hurts to blink, everytime i do i feel a sudden headache on that side of my head. Also it's become swollen, so my eyelid is like twice the size as my other one! could i have popped a blood vessel, and what else could have caused it to feel like this? should i go to the doctor? and what can i do to make it feel better.
thanks sooo much any advice can help!

relax. I'm guessing its just pink eye, but even if it is you need to a get a doctor to check it out and in the mean time dont touch your eye adn touch anything just in case it is, so you dont spread it.

Ps. Pink Eye is easily cured =)

Dont worry. It'll be fine (=

Hope it helped.

Q: I'm a 14/f and I dont have a best friend. I mean I have friends.... but they're not that close. Like a lot of people I know, are going to the mall with their best friends, and since i dont have a best friend, i'd only have a chance to go to the mall with my mom... ughh and I soo totally dont want to do that.

Well, my point is that in school, we have about 20 minutes before school to do anything we want. And well I am hanging out with my "friends" and they don't really include me... so if they're having a conversation, and I ask a question, they wont answer me and just ignore me. I always feel so alone. I know you might say "just have you're family be your best friends" but I REALLY dont want to have my family be my best friends. I want someone that's my age, and who I can have sleepovers with, and go to the mall with, and just hang out with... but none of my friends don't like me that much. It's like this world doesn't even know I exist.

So my question is How can I stand out to people and try to make friends? Is there any tricks to making a best friend? What should I do about these so called "friends"? Keep talking to them? Ignore them?

I mean, if I start talking to them, they'll just change their mood into like an annoying mood. Suuuure they'll talk to me, but its about something really stupid like "what was the homework assignment for monday?"
Sometimes, if one of my friends, doesn't have anyone to talk to at the time, they'll come to me and start talking to me, but it's not the talking you think it is... its probably more like bragging. Like one of them likes to dance, and if she doesn't have anybody to talk to, she'll come up to me and say "oh my gosh, I can't remember my tap dance sequence... Oh yeah it goes ____" and then she'll like dance infront of me, and like show off.

I don't know what's wrong with me, it's like i'm a back-up friend to everybody... I feel so alone and my subject said "what happens to a lonely person in life?" well... what happens? Will I turn out to be some person who doesn't have a purpose in life?
How can I fix this? I'm SOOOO CONFUSED!!!!!!!!
HELP ME!

The easy way to get involved in a group of friends is to just talk to them. I became friends with this group of people who have been best friends since kindergarten and they all went to the same elementary school and everything. All you have to do to make friends is just talk to people, adn be yourself. Don't act fake. People cna see right through you. Joining clubs and things could help as well.

Hope it helped =)

Q: Isn't 1st hand smoking worse than 2nd hand smoking?

I know that people are saying that first hand is better and blah, blah, blah, but I'm sorry that is not true. Neither one is better or worse. They are just as bad. This is from statistics and such from health class.

Hope it helped =)

P.S. You shouldn't be inhaling either. Stay out of trouble

Q: Ok, I don't know if this is in the right catogorey or not but oh well. I have been sooo deppresed latley. I just don't know if i can deal with it. i need some help, i can't talk to my friends and i don't want to talk to my parents. i've even talked about killing myself. i really want to do that so i don't have to deal with my huge problems anymore. what do i do?
13/f

I can not stress this enough: FIND SOMEONE THAT YOU CAN TALK TO. If you know you have a problem you need to talk to someone that you feel comfortable talking to because obviously if you are writing this you do not want to kill yourself. Now, if you dont have a best friend to talk to and you odnt feel comfortable going to your parents. Think about people that you can tlak to. Preferably an adult who can get you help, but anyone at all is better than nothing. If you feel better talking to strangers then my door is always open. Just ask for my SN, or E-mail, adn I will definately talk to you, but I understnad if you don't feel comforatble with that. Just please find osmeone who can help you and talk with you.

Hope that helped =)

Try and feel better.

Q: Ok so me and my ex boyfriend broke up in august 2006 and we were in love. Well for the past 2 and a half months we have been flirting a bunch and such and it was all great, but recently he actually made a move. It was Monday (December 11) that he asked me to go hang out with him after school, just us 2 alone. So yeah we hung out and it was really fun! We had a great time walking around and talking. . .he couldnt keep his hands off me. He was always tickling me and hugging me from behind and it was sweet. Then at one point he wanted a hug so I gave him a one and then he just never let go of me so then we just sat there and cuddled. It was sweet and it brought back many feelings. By the end of the night we both had huge smiles on our faces. It really felt like we were gonna get back together. . .he even wanted me to go to the movies with him on wednsday. But I had to work on that day so yeah I told him I couldnt go with him because of work.

But on tuesday, he acted like a complete jerk all day long. . .it made me cry. Course I didnt cry in front of him. Then after school he apologized and he was sweet on me again and we flirted a bunch. Then on wednsday and thursday he just flirted a little bit....no big moves or anything.

My problem is...why would he go from major flirting and making huge moves on me one night and then the next few days just not be as sweet as he was and just flirt a little bit with me. Why would he do that?!?!? He doesnt play games with me, because I know him that well. . .hes not that type of guy. Im just confused. . .what is going on with him? :S My friend says that guys get really vulnerable after they show their feelings and they go through this stage where they dont show their feelings that much. . .but enough to keep you wondering what the hell is going on. But I donno. . .I need more opinions.

So...help???

I think that this guy is maybe a little bit embarresed about all of his emotions that he showed. Guys don't like to show emotion. They don't like to be vulnerable (like your friend said). They want to try and act as tough as they can, and I'm guessing that he was so awed, by how much he showed that he was second guessing himself, and I mean that he was wondering if you felt the same way and what not, so he's probably just taking it down a notch in case you don't feel the same way. I hate to say it, but sometimes us girls have to make moves. I'm not saying anything big. Just talk to him about it and tell him how you feel. Like you said you know eachother well, so you're probably comfortable talking to him. Just give it a try and see how things go.

Hope that helped =)

GOOD LUCK

Q: my friend follows me EVERYWHERE and does EVERYTHING i do. if i hang out with someone, she doesn't let me hang out with them she will just invite her self over to where we are and start hanging out with us. ITS REALLY ANNOYING! i'm actually starting to make new friends but its impossible if i keep hanging around with her.
Shes really bossy and controlling. What should i do? Should i keep ignoring her or tell her to stop following me around?

The reason from mye experience that she is doing this is because shes insecure which is often why people act bossy or rude. to try to hide that fact, and my guess is that she's hanging out with you because she doesn't feel that she has any other friends and she doesn't want to lose you, so what you need to do is just talk to her in person adn just tell her how you feel, but do it nicely because chances are she's just feeling bad about herself.

Hope that helped =)

Q: 13/f

When a guy asks me out, how can I say 'No'?

Can I have an example of what to say?

I'm no expert here, so please don't yell at me if you don't think that this is good, but you could just say, "Listen, you're a great guy and eeverything, but it wouldn't be right for me to go out with someone that I didn't truely like. It wouldn't be fair to you, adn you wouldn't appreciate it later. As a friend you are great, but i just dont like you in that way. I'm sorry, but I dont decide who I like, unfortunately." or something along those lines, but do it nicely adn remind him that there is someone out there for him. and make sure its in person.

Hope that helped =)

Q: ok well im 14 and me and my friend have been best friends pretty much sense we were like 3 or 4 and like ever sense i can remember she has always been kind of like jelious when ever i get a new realllyy good friend she like freaks out. like right now in 7th grade i became best friends with my friend bailey, and now she has like been oh my gosh is bailey taking my spot? am i just like some annoyance that thinks shes your best friend? and i don't know its like really bothering me and i keep telling her no one can take her place, but like today i told her i wasn\'t gonna ride the bus home because my boyfriend was staying after school and hes been sick so i wnted to like hang out with him, and she left me a voice mail saying ok what is up with you, i mean if bailey is your new best friend then maybe i should just get some one to act like my bew best friend and i dont know she is just like totally going over board and i don\'t know what to do, like the more she does this the more i am getting annoyed with her and not wanting to hang out with her, but how do i tell her to stop? please help me with this guys!!! thanks!

I definately agree with Cherise, but I also think that you need to just sit down with her and have a long conversation about it. I understand that you have told her that no one is taking her place, but you need to do it extremely sincerely, and I don't think that you should get annoyed with her because generally when people get like that it's because they are feeling left out or maybe even having a low self esteem. If you have more friends than her, then that maybe one reason. So just talk to her. One on one and in person and see what that does for you.

Hope that helped =)

Good Luck

Q: so my ex boyfriend dumped me for this girl, straight out told me he was only with me because he couldnt get her.

he's being really confusing .. and not helping me to get over him. like he saw my away message sayin i was at the wrestling meet ( he came on right after i put my away up ) and i get to the wrestling meet and he shows up right after me, and sits a row in front of me. like right there. && well today i was suppose to hang out with a kid named tom. and my away message again and this time it said bonfire with tom. and tom and my ex are friends. so i get to toms and he's like i talked to mark. he said he saw you away message and he was going to stop up but he was out of service range when i called him.

why is he going out of his way to be where i am, its not making it easy for me .. he dumped me for a whore, he really hurt me this time (we've had a few problems in the past, we were together 9 monhts) i cant be friends with the guy i love, cause i cant get over him. but hes everywhere. i want to say something ... but what, and is that a good or bad idea? ... :-/

I can't say for sure whether this guy is really over you or not, but if hes following you everywhere and it feels like hes stalking you (which it what it sounded like to me) then it is possible that he made that whole thing up for some odd reason> Guys are confusing, adn while I'm no expert I think that you need to talk to him especially if its really bothering you. If you guys have been togetehr for 9 whole months then you probably know eachother well and would feel comfortable talking ot eachother (but if not because of the breakup. thats understandable too). Basically, what I am trying to say here, is talk to him or one of his friends nad just tell them how you feel, so that you can start to feel better.

I really hoped that helped =)

Good Luck