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My name is Elly and I am 18 years old. I live in Michigan and I graduated High School in '07. I'm currently attending a great college, but I'm home for the summer. It's too nice outside to sit on the computer all day, so I might not be as active on here as I would like.I guess a good way to describe me is experienced. I've discovered a lot about life and I can't wait to discover more... while having fun at the same time of course! ...BUT, like everyone, I have experienced things in life that I rather wish I hadn't. And I also feel that those bad experiences qualify me to help others with this column.
I have been in a serious relationship for over two and a half years now. I personally know that love is a difficult thing to nurture. It takes a lot of work. Life is NOT a fairytale where two people can simply love each other and everything will just fall into place. It doesn't work like that in the real world.
People on Advicenators are starting to disappoint me. Everyone says "ooh I want to help! I've experienced EVERYTHING!" Yet, I can't tell you how many questions I see with answers like "you could have googled that" or "we're not going to do your homework" or "I'm so sick of 'wow does he like me?!' questions." I used to sort of be like that, but now I realize how hypocritical that is. If I know the answer to a question, I will answer to the best of my ability without making you feel stupid for asking it in the first place. Advicenators is going to turn into a pretty nasty place if people just keep brushing off questions like that.
Rate or don't rate. I really don't care. But don't give me a 1 just because I tell you something you don't want to hear. Go to your mom for advice if you want sugarcoated answers.
I can give excellent advice on:
relationships/sex
friendship
family issues
anything about animals (i worked at a vet for several years)
college
advice
Right now, I am a junior in high school. School is over in May and I begin my senior year in August. I was just wondering when i need to start applying for colleges. I checked some websites for the colleges I'm interested in and they have dates for deadlines, but the years aren't included, so it could have been for last year. Help?
Definitely apply by the end of this summer. That way you'll receive your acceptance letters in the fall. Thus, giving yourself lots of time to decide which college to attend.
:-)
Earlier is always better, just so you don't have to worry about deadlines and stuff.
if the government gives you financial aid for college, is that the same thing as a student loan? does anyone know how that works? what is the interest rate and how long would it take to pay off? if they loan you about $22 thousand..
http://www.finaid.org/students/
http://www.financialaidforcollege.com/
Check out these web sites. They should be able to give good information.
It really is different for everyone. Paying it off could be a chore depending on how much interest is accumulated and whether or not you're making good money. Interest rates depend on where you get the loan from. It's not STRAIGHT from the government. You will have to choose a specific bank as your lender.
yeah well my little sister and brother are just really annoying and when ever im with my friends they are right there listening in and just standing by us and i cant even say anything becuase they tell my mother and father everything so i cant even talk to my friends at home ill be doing something and they are so annoying they are also really really loud they are by the way 11 and 13 but my sisiter will be 12 in may 8th i pretty much hate them im tired of their shit i just wished i was the only child like mu sister is sooo spoiled and i have to clean up her mess and if i say something to her she goes and tells my mother and my mother always sticks up for her so i get in trouble my brother just always bothers me whatever im doing he has to question like if im texting he will be like why do you always text? and it makes me mad and they all gang up on me all the time and i sometimes want to hit them!!!!
wtf do i do to control myself and any advice on my brother and sister?
They do it because they know it bothers you. They LOVE getting a rise out of you because they know you'll get in trouble.
Just ignore the "little darlings." Act really nice towards them and be friendly.
If they are bothering you and your friends, go straight to a parent and ask politely, "I'm sorry. I'm just trying to spend some time with my friends. Is it okay if I go out somewhere with them so I won't be distracting my siblings?" Or something like that. No one said you HAD to stay in the house. As long as you're polite about it, you and your friends can just go somewhere else.
I'm sure they'll stop bothering you when it doesn't phase you anymore.
Since you think your sister is so spoiled, talk with your mom about it. Don't bitch at your sister because that will just get you in trouble. Ask your mom to reevaluate the chores list. As long as you are polite and respectful (and your sister isn't around to protest) I'm sure a solution can be reached.
The key is to always remain calm. Don't let what they do go to your head because you know it will just make everything worse.
Well, I have my own laptop, but something f*cked up and I got a virus.
I can't use the speakers on my laptop(and I don't have any other ones that I could connect to my laptop) so I can't listen to my music properly.
My internet doesn't work either, so can't use that.
I've been playing sims for 2hrs a day (not straight, I play it, put pause and walk off, and then I come back and continue playing it later)<
But there's like nothing to do, and I'm on my holidays so..
All of my close friends are away...and I can't really go out, I have transport problems.
Don't tell me to clean my room cause I already have, it's immaculate -.-
:P
So I'm wondering wth could I do over the next week..?
Oh, and I have no artistic skills what so ever, so please don't suggest that :P
Sorry this is long, but I'm starting to go out of my mind.
Thanks!!
Read a book.
Cook some food.
Curl up on the couch and watch a good movie.
Write letters to your friends.
Go for a walk (bring a pet if you have one).
Write a story.
Play an instrument.
Go to the library (hopefully one in walking distance/ bike-riding distance) and use the internet there.
Play a different computer game than the sims.
Have some "you" time. Give yourself a manicure/pedicure/foot massage/etc.
Since you already cleaned your room, maybe ask your parents if you can redecorate it. Maybe a new paint color? New furniture arrangement?
You didn't really state your age or gender, so I tried to list some things that weren't really gender specific.
iam having trouble iam over weight but have managed to lose 40kgs but have about 30 kgs to go and just cant get my head around losing the rest i also have bulimia so can sombody please help me with a few words to try and get back on track and what does having bulima do to my body
http://www.4woman.gov/faq/Easyread/bulnervosa-etr.htm
There's a web site on bulimia. I found lots of good information on it.
I think that you should consider counseling before trying to lose anymore weight. Bulimia is very unhealthy and is the worst way to try and reach your weight goals.
There are millions of other ways to lose weight. But first, you need to overcome your illness.
Some suggestions for losing weight in a HEALTHY way:
1) Exercise with a friend. It makes going to the gym fun and the two of you can sort of "compete" in a fun way to reach your goals.
2) Eat what you want, but know how to tell when you are hungry or full. Chew every bite at least 15 times and stay conscious about what you are eating. Meaning, don't watch the TV or anything while eating. Stay focused on your food and listen for when your body is full.
Good luck and get some help. You don't have to beat bulimia alone.
Ok this question isnt supposed to be offensive to anybody, im just wondering opinions. Today kids are having sex younger and younger, some kids are like 13 years old. I was wondering what you all think of that. Personally i cant believe this is happening to the world haha. I was just wondering if anybody out there agrees with me or if you dont agree with me, why? This is just out of curiosity. Also, if this is how things are now, imagine in 10 years, whats gonna happen!! haha, ok thanks!
The youngest person I've ever heard to have lost their virginity was 11!!!
I completely agree with you. Sex just isn't what it used to be anymore. Teenagers (and *gulp* pre-teens) don't seem to have any moral values whatsoever. I feel that it's all because everyone wants to be "in love" and will do anything to find it. And I'm sure that vulgar advertisements, music videos, and music in general do NOT help.
It seems to me that fewer and fewer kids these days care about a religion or have any moral values whatsoever.
I've always thought that sex doesn't necessarily have to wait for marriage, but one should at least wait for the legal age of 16 and until you've found another person you truly love.
Ugh!
I have been getting acne on my back and like upper chest. I don't know how to get rid of it.
I am a dancer, I dance 5 times a week, but i wear different leotards, but could that be causing it? like all the sweat and ew. aha
i try to wash my back as best as possible in the shower, but thats easier said than done. what can i do to get rid of this?
thanks
Try Neutrogena Acne Body Wash. It's one of the best out there and it works. I've used it. Get a back scrubber so you know you're getting all the areas back there.
From now on, when you wash your leotards, use a detergent that has no fragrance. Like the kind that's meant for sensitive skin. That should help because scented detergent can irritate your skin even more. Tide is a good brand. Their sensitive skin formula is in a green and white bottle.
I'm sure you know this, but never wear the same leotard two days in a row. If there was sweat on it, it could most definitely cause more acne.
I met this guy two months ago and he's searious about me, but I'm not sure if us in a relationship would work. The first problem is that I could never get myself to commit to anyone. He could be the best person I have ever known. We have great conversations (mostly about sports), he respects me completely, we practically have the same mind in most cases, and I feel like he's the only one that I could talk to about things no one else seems to understand about me. He's always there when I need him. As you can tell, this guy is great. So what is wrong?
The second thing about us is the distance thing. Yes, he's there for me when I want to talk, but we're still in two different places. He lives in NY and I live in Boston. At first it didn't get to me much because that's what drew us closer in a way. Our first conversation lasted hours about new york and boston sports teams. We were both very competitive, but loved it. I never laughed so much. Maybe this distance thing isn't bad for most people, but I'm not one of them. Neither of us plan on leaving our hometowns. It's our homes. And this thing we have hasn't gone long enough to even think so far down the line, but it's starting to bug me because we never see each other. Am I just finding excuses or is "relationship" just not good? Of course we're young, but I am at a loss because I really want this to work.
*18/f
Maybe an open relationship would work. There's no reason not to keep in touch with the guy, especially since you two get on so well. A halfway point seems like a good solution at this point. There's no hiding that the distance is bothering you. Maybe both of you could casually date other people just to see what's out there.
Be honest with him. If he is serious about you, but you don't feel the same way, you need to tell him. You don't have to put him out of your life forever, you're just not into committing at the moment.
It's only been two months. You might meet someone else that actually lives in your area that makes you happier. And if you don't find anyone else, then you'll know you still have him there.
Well, my new boyfriend is coming over to hang out in a few days, and i don't know what we can do together. i don't want to have an awkward or boring time. Any ideas on what we can do at my house?
Have a couple funny/romantic movies picked out (or whatever genres the two of you enjoy). Get some popcorn, chips, or whatever for snacks and you two can cuddle and watch a movie.
You could go to the park for a nice walk and deep conversation. Maybe you could play a board game or video game. There's always kissing and whatnot, but I don't know if you're into all that.
There's really lots you could do, it just depends on your interests.
A fun thing I did when I first started getting to know my boyfriend was a game of questions. All we did was we asked each other random questions back and forth, whether serious or not, about ANYTHING. The game keeps going until one person refuses to answer a question. The person that doesn't want to answer loses and the other wins. It's a fun way to get to know each other.
Well in november or early dec. my friend pierced my cartilage for me.The stupid part is it was with a sterilized saftey pin..scince I knew it was a bad thing to peirce it with i cleaned it everyday. it seemed to be healed well but in early feb. a bubble came up. I tried poping it and cleaning it but nothing works.=[
I would see a doctor as soon as possible. If cleaning the bubble out isn't helping, you should seek medical attention just in case your ear becomes permanently deformed.
At worst, you'll have to remove the earring so it can heal, but you can always get it re-pierced.
For the sake of having a normal-shaped ear, see a doctor.
I don't think this was caused JUST because you used a safety pin because this type of infection could happen to ANY piercing, regardless if it was done professionally or not. While it's definitely safer to get a professional piercing, it's not necessarily going to rule out infection altogether.
to make a long story short, i was accepted into this very prestigious summer course where you take classes at a local college for 5 weeks. i go to a competitive private school, and of the 50 or so who applied, they only picked 5 people to participate, and i was one of the people picked (my parents made me apply). however, i don't really want to go to it because it will be 5 weeks of my summer taken up along with 3 weeks in europe, so i'll only have 2 weeks at home (and i want more than that!). i also just don't want to do school work during the summer!! for me, the summer is time for me to hang out with my friends and boyfriend, and for me to seriously ride and compete on my horse. it's also a chance to make some money so i can afford gas for driving. the problem is, if i tell my parents i don't want to do it, they'll FLIP. they'll tell me this will help me get into good colleges, and that i'm wasting a great opportunity. i'm very stubborn about not wanting to go though. what do you guys think i should do? bite my tongue and go? or not go and have them hate me? any ideas?
Maybe you could do something else to make your parents happy and still stay home for the summer. Apply for a part-time job or do volunteer work. Those are good things to help you get into college too. You could also promise to read so many books over the summer.
You need your summer to unwind and relax before hitting the books again in the fall. I'm sure that as long as you are mature with them about it, I'm sure a reasonable compromise can be reached.
So I'm going into High School next year
All my friends are going to a Technical High school
They all left me behind
So now I'm going into High School with only a few other people I know from grade school who arent really my 'friends'
Chances are I wont even see them
How can I make new friends?
I'm really shy if I don't know someone
So I don't have the guts to just go up to someone and say hi
But when you get to know me I'm outgoing and just a bubble of energy
But I'm fat...do people like ebing friends with fat girls?
Friendliness is key. In each of your classes, try to sit by a couple people you don't know that well and strike up a little conversation everyday. Share experiences (if you've had any) about the teacher. Ask if they're in any clubs. Ask if they're from the area.
As the days go on, keep making conversation and when you feel comfortable, ask them to go catch a movie sometime or go out to lunch.
Try and make little conversation with as many people as you can and just be yourself: outgoing and bubbly.
I know you'll make friends in no time. And your weight should never be a factor in making new friends. All that should matter is how wonderful of a person you are.
I have really long straight fine hair down to my lower back. I hate cutting it, but sometimes I trim my split ends. I like wearing it down, but it looks so flat on the top of my head and has absolutely no volume at all. So most of the time I end up wearing it in a ponytail. BORING! there are so many chunks of my hair that is only like 5 inches long, around my ears and back of neck obviously from always wearing a ponytail.. Question is--how can I get more volume and repair all the short spots without chopping it all off? Hairstyle ideas? Haircuts that won't make my hair more than 2 inches shorter? thanks
Why not get a bunch of long layers? That should add tremendous amounts of volume to your hair AND it will made those short spots blend in until you can grow them out again. You won't have to get more than two inches off, but it will make your hair a bunch of different lengths. It will be a lot easier to style than hair that is all one length.
If flatness is still a problem, try teasing your hair. Any stylist can show you how to do it.
so long story , i broke up with my boyfriend in april of last year. it was one of those addicting relationships wher we talked non-stop and planned our wedding and what we were going to name our kids. needless to say it was kinda unhealthy so i broke it off.
and then summer was good and he got a gf and i flirted with people and so maybe we cought ourselves staring at eachother every once and a while but it wasnt so bad.
and then all this year i dont know why, but i always knew where he was. its not like i sat and memorized his schedule but i knew where he was all the time. and so i wasnt always looking for him but i guess i always found him.
and now, hes calling me again and being all flirty and i dont know what to do.
im pretty sure hes not playing games because my friend is his best friend and she says hes pretty serous about this. which makes it even more complicated!
well last night he was all "remember how we were going to fly to the moon for our wedding, well do you think we could still do that?" and i was just like "uhhh..." and i guess he took that as a bad sign.but i really didnt see that coming.
and now he wants to talk about it, and i dont know what to say. i just want us both to move on. with our self esteems still intact.
i cant tell him i dont like him at all and that i never thought about him because its a lie.
and i cant get back together with him because its so suffocating.
what to do?
Why not just tell him what you told us?
The relationship was too serious and it suffocated you. It's nothing personal against him, things were just moving to fast. Tell him you don't want to fall back into that cycle again, so a relationship with him right now is just not an option.
Assure him there's no reason you can't remain friends, but he has to stop coming on to you like that. You mean him no harm, and he should realize that.
You need to be upfront and honest with him or else he's not going to leave you alone. He's a big boy. He'll understand and he'll get over it.
25/f
I am 2 months away from finally marrying the love of my life. He's also 25, we both have college degrees, great careers, money to spend, and plenty of love. The only problem is that we each have a dog. Both of our dogs are very friendly with other people and other dogs, except for each other. When we first introduced them two years ago when we started dating, they viciously attacked each other on site. We thought it would go away, but nothing has changed. I don't want to force either of us to give up our dogs, but I don't want to not marry over something as seemingly trivial as this. Any advice?
Thanks.
I have a suggestion. I got the idea from an expert on Animal Planet.
Your dogs love you and they want to be with you, right? I'm sure the concept applies to each of your dogs. The four of you (you, your fiance, and both dogs) should sit in a room. Both dogs should be on a leash. If they start fighting, IMMEDIATELY say a correction sound (a short, firm "NO" would suffice) and pull them away from each other. Keep them on opposite sides of the room (preferably facing away from each other until they both calm down. Once they are calm, allow them to approach each other. If there is more negative contact, repeat the process.
Eventually, the dogs will either 1) get really tired and lose the energy to fight or 2) will start acting calmly towards each other.
In case 1) praise them for not attacking each other an call it a day. You should try again the next day.
In case 2) Constantly praise them.
Another idea involves food. You and your fiance should gather the dogs' favorite treats or some bits of meat. Make sure to keep both dogs on a secure leash in case you need to pull them away from each other. Have each of them sit in front of you. Hopefully they will be too distracted by the food to want to fight each other. Slowly feed the pieces of meat to the dogs. Not at the same time, but take turns for each dog. If they stay calm, praise them with a soft voice. If they start fighting, give them the sharp correction like I mentioned earlier and pull them away from each other. Repeat the process with the feeding only when they calm down. They will get the message that when they are mean to each other, they won't get any treats.
It's important to remember that all of this takes time and repetition.
Good luck and I wish you all the best!
well my friend counts her calories and only eats 1000 calories a day. She excercises all of the time and weighs herself constantly. She also considers being 100 lbs fat. Shes 14 and 5,0
100 lbs isn't fat right? anyways I am just concerned that she may be starting an eating disorder. is it true? are these signs?
Her obsession with weight is kind of alarming. It's great that she wants to be healthy, but she might be taking it a little too far.
If you're that concerned, talk with her about it. Tell her you care about her and you are worried she is going to make herself sick. Tell her she is beautiful the way she is.
1) If she completely flips out on you and gets mad, that is a definite sign of an eating disorder and I would tell an adult you trust about the situation that can help her.
2) If she is thankful for your concern (aka calm), but insists what she is doing is fine, let it go for awhile. If things get worse, talk to her again or tell an adult.
Ok theres this guy that I like and he flirts with me all the time, but then the next day he just acts so cold to me, and we fight all the time about nothing...but he also flirts with other girls aswell, ecpecially this one who he used to like but reckons he doesn't anymore, at the moment we're kind of in an actual fight so i can't really talk to him, and even if I asked him if he liked me, he never really gives a proper answer, and plus I don't want to ruin our friendship...what should I do???
If first and foremost you don't want to ruin your friendship, you need to talk to him. Forget that you're fighting right now and talk to him. Be up front and mature with him. Tell him you don't want anymore games. Tell him exactly how you feel.
Say you are tired of him sending you mixed signals. Tell him you have feelings for him and if he doesn't feel the same way, tell him he needs to tell you right now so you can move on and the two of you can just be friends.
It isn't fair to you for him to be messing with your head like this. As long as you are mature and upfront with him, it will be very difficult for him to avoid your questions.
Maybe once your feelings are out on the table and the two of you know what the other is thinking, there will be less fights. And if he likes you, you can work on building a stronger relationship.
First though, he needs to cut the bullshit and come clean with you. If he refuses, he's not worth being in your life anyway.
I know to many of you this may sound strange and perhaps disturbing. It did to me too when i first started college... but now -I'm almost done and starting my masters dissertations in summer- I'm beginning to ponder on the thought....
I am not the first one to actually be willing to go through with this. And though those who've done so far remain a fraction of a tiny percent compared to those who oppose it, there is considerably more than a hundred cases that I'v witness...
My university allows student/professor relationship granted that the student is not taking a course by that professor.
I'm kind of interested in one of my professors. He's a little bit older but he has the sexiest mind and the sweetest personality. I know he's not married... and I know he's straight. Obviously i know what his subject of interest is (and thank god it happens to be my area too)...
I wanted to try and establish grounds of interest between the two of us without becoming a nuisance-causing puppy with a crush...
thing is i am afraid after classes end I won't be seeing him much if at all. So I'd like to drop the hint before term is over and see what he thinks.
how do i go about without sounding foolish or absurd...any ideas?
Since you two have the same areas of interest, go buy a book about that interest. For an example, I'm going to say he's a philosophy professor since you didn't really specify. Go buy a book or two from your favorite philosopher. Read it and ask his opinion on it one day. Ask him if he'd like to share ideas on the book over a cup of coffee or lunch. It can be casual and no pressure for conversation since you'll be talking about the book.
During the discussion, you could probably flirt with him, but do it in very subtle ways. Brush his arm, look directly in his eyes while he talks, flash him that 100-watt smile.
If you feel the conversation is going well, ask him how he got interested in his area of study. Share your experience with him. It's quite likely that your intelligence on the subject will impress him.
At the end, tell him you had a great time and you hope you can do it again soon. If he's interested, maybe he'll ask you out next time. The more you get to know each other, the more you'll be able to tell if he's interested.
Good luck!
anyone know of some good ways to fight sugar cravings...? I've tried eating fruit but it doesn't really help me.
The best thing to do with sugar cravings is to actually feed it. You don't have to have a lot, just a little bit. If you still feel like you need more, distract yourself by doing something else. Read a book. Listen to music. Call up a friend. Anything really.
This web site has some good suggestions too.
https://www.motherearthnews.com/Natural-Health/2005-06-01/End-Your-Sugar-Cravings.aspx
Alrighty, my boyfriend is in the United States Navy. We have now been together for 2 and a 1/2 years. I am a junior in highschool,and prom is coming up. Prom was supposed to be on April 19th and my boyfriend was going to be able to take leave to go with me..so I went ahead and got this super sexy dress, I was so excited to be able to get dressed up for him and for us to have a good time together. But my school is stupid and decided to change prom to April 11th....so now my boyfriend isn't sure if he can go..but he says probably not.He is very upset..... he is the jealous type...I cant blame him though...it's only normal when he only sees me every 2or3 months. I don't know if I should just not go and throw away the $400 I've put into prom, or if I should find a reasonable guy to go with, or if I should go alone and hope I have fun. Please help me.
I know something cute you could do. Get a life-size cardboard picture of your boyfriend and bring it to the dance with you. My friend did that for her prom when her boyfriend was in the army. It was cute and everyone had a good time. Take pictures of the cardboard with all his friends at the dance and a bunch with you of course!
Prom would be lots of fun if you go with all your friends. Don't miss out. I wouldn't go with another guy unless your boyfriend knows it's strictly a friends-only thing.
I'm sure you'll have lots of fun either way!
Maybe next time he comes home you two can have your own little "prom" in your basement or something. Have a nice dinner and dance together. It would be sweet and I'm sure it would make him feel better.
=)