Member Since: October 23, 2003
Answers: 187
Last Update: November 18, 2005
Visitors: 17628
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I've convinced myself that just because the rest of my family smokes, doesn't mean I will. But most people I know say "you never know if you're going to end up smoking yet"
I always tell them "I promise you I'm not going to smoke" and they tell me I cant make a promise like that. Hardly anyone believes me. A few people do but that's not enough. I could start smoking anytime...so when is the right time that they will believe me? When I'm older? I'm still young, and if I'm not smoking now...I'm not a smoker, so why can't I just stay like I am.....NOT A SMOKER. I know a lot of people say that they're not going to smoke and some of them end up smoking, but I'm not one of those people. I counted how much money my family would waste altogether with the money they spend on cigarettes all combined....and thats like 50,000 a year!
That's messed up.
I'm not going to smoke because I already see the way my family struggles with it. It breaks my heart that they're controlled by a poisonous stick. What should I do? Do you think I'm going to smoke just because the rest of my family does? I'm not the kind of person who gives into peer pressure...and I've already turned an offer for a cigarette down.
I'm about to take all their cigarettes and flush them down the toilet...that's how scared I am for them, and it's going to waste a lot of their money, but that will just teach them a lesson. (even though most people say that a if you take their cigarettes away, it will just make them want to smoke more, well I'll make sure they dont) Should I? I'm so confused...and sorry for the length. PLEASE HELP! (link)
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Not starting is the most effective tactic in the battle with smoking, so I imagine if you don't want to smoke, you won't. I think most smokers start in their teenage years, so if you make it to 20 without smoking, you're more or less in the clear.
I come from a family with several smokers, I'm now in my twenties and the habit hasn't rubbed off on me. After you leave home, your family has less effect on your consumption habits, so you're probably in the clear then.
I'd only flush people's cigs if they've asked you to help them quit recently. Otherwise it's probably only going to cause problems.
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Today I got a new pair of pants from hot topic. . and I wanted to get another pair, but they ddin't have it in my size. . Im a size 0!!! I really like my new pants, but my mom told my sister she didn't like them, but she'd let me wear them anyways. . I don't know I just wanted to tell you guys!! Anyways. .
Do you think I should ask my crush out???
"I am in love with him so badly, but I just cant Im too nervous I cant talk to him, its horrible. . hes so hot, and well Im not. . he probly doesnt even like me . .so nvm, I mad eup my mind im not gunna ask him . .but hes so funny and hes soo cute and he has a greta personality, , UUUUUUUUUUUUGH! LOVE! it freaking sucks. . well sometimes. .
And I am poetic, and artistic, and I lvoe he color black, and my sn has Empty Soul . .and I think about suicide, no .. I dont want to kill myself, but I think why would they do that. . I wrote a poem for suiced, well kinda wanna hear it?!
My password omg its like so sad. . IM not telling u! dumbass. .
of course u do. . !!!
Its like you're not there,
Like no one cares,
You feel empty inside,
You feel its your time,
Suicide comes to your mind,
But is it the best you cna do??
No. . Turn tot he one you cna trust,
Always be true, and ignore the ones who make fun of you . . who ignore you too, who call you a loser, when you know you are the best. .
So why put yourself to rest??
You try to say your sorry. . That you will never do it again. . But its too late. . You've gone through. . and now you dont know what to do. .
But no one can be perfect. . .
(By me, but I edited them. . these rnt the dited ones) sry sry I will show u the edited oens laters. . im tured bye bye (link)
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Wear the pants while serenading the boy with poetry :P
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Is it wrong to wait on a person? I mean, if you're not sure that you would even end up with this person. I mean, there are things that make it seem like you would, or that there is a definent possability...Ah. Help. (link)
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Waiting on a person is fine, if they're that wonderful... and if you're only waiting in your romantic aspects... keep everything else going, be a student, a community member, a social critter, etc. while you wait to end up with this person. And acknowledge ahead of time that someone may come along who changes your mind about waiting -- they'll just have to be incredible!
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Everybody's always getting colds and the flu and stuff in the winter... my question is, how do you know if you're so sick you should see a doctor? (link)
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Let me start with I am not a doctor.
But... if you've got a nasty fever (like 102F or worse), or if you're coughing, vomiting, or otherwise excreting blood in a non-menstrual way, or if you're passing out or dehydrated (dark urine, extreme thirst, etc.) or if you can't take it anymore... see a doctor. If you've been resting and recuperating for a week or more and you're still laid out flat, you might consider a doctor too. If none of the above appplies, and you're thinking "nope, none of that, but damn, I need medical help because of x"... then see a doctor!
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I'm 16. I'm mentally a tomboy. All my close friends are boys/men. I'm a heterosexual girl.
The problem is, I get along with men wonderfully as friends. Nearly everyone sees me as the perfect girl: I'm easy to talk to, pretty attractive, and considerate. Yet, as a result, I never find myself considering any male friend as even a 'prospect.' Sure, I find several attractive, but in my current situation I have enough male companionship/interaction to be completely oblivious to these needs and urges I'm supposed to be having.
I end up holding off from dating because I always find something not quite right, not necessarily with the person, but with the 'feel'. Not only that, but I'm terrified of short term high schoolesque commitment, as well as the whole 'social' "did you hear harry's dating sally? Jane's furious!".
Recently, I've found someone that I could fit well with (who has feelings for me), but I'm not sure if I should encourage this relationship any further because I might find something wrong within a few short weeks. It's not little, knowing myself, it's a huge possibility.
Is it fair to subject this wonderful guy to what's basically an experiment to see how long I can stay in a relationship (though I definitely care about him), or should I wait until I can manage to get out of this mindset?
~Only Me (link)
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Good of you to realize that nothing is certain in love, and the realization may not go away.
So, go for it, everyone will learn something, and you may find it's a good thing. Or not, but at least you'll know.
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Is it wrong to copy software to your computer that you don't pay for? (link)
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Only if it's non-free software (i.e. much of it). Someone is feeding their kids on that software's returns, even if their CEO may be buying their third Hummer on it too.
Free software, like OpenOffice, Mozilla, Linux, the GIMP, etc. is free as the air you breathe... and it doesn't suck. It's made by hobbyists or people who make their money by consulting or custom work (or with their day jobs), and they want you to have it. There's lots of programming, multimedia, OS, office and Internet software made under one Free license or another.
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Hey, snarfism here, I've been getting complaints about my answers. Like, They're too long-winded/too mean/ect. I was wondering if this happens to everyone, or if i'm just a freak bad advice-giver? (link)
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I get folks answering my answers in new public questions, which is annoying, but not too many complaints. Maybe some kind of threading or follow-up mechanism would be nice here?
I live for long-winded answers, but there are a lot of fragile question-askers out there, so I try not to be mean (or at least offer up a spoonful of sugar with the bitter medicine).
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If i were to change to a goth or a punk. . etc* I would be the only** punk or goth or other. . . Poeple in my school these days wnat to be wiggers wangstas. . ya know and Im just not into that. . I dont want to be noticed I just dont want to be like everyone else I want to be different, cuz I dont wanna be called a wigger. . I dont want to be a wigger anyways. . its just not me! (link)
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If all you want to do is avoid being part of a trend you don't like, then a whole world of possibilities lies open to you.
Like I've said to most fashion questions, put together what you like, be conscious of what it means to you (and others) and generally knock yourself out! Sounds like jeans and flannel shirts would distinguish you equally well, so dress as you please and look as you like.
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Ok this is going to be a semi-novel but I'll try to make sense. I'm 15 and at the beginning of September I met a guy(whom we'll call Bob).We were friends for a little over a month,and around the middle of October we kissed for the first time;he asked me out very soon afterword.our mutual friends had been bugging Bob to ask me out because it was obvious he liked me.He made the announcement to our them that he asked me out and it was understood that we were a couple.so from that day on, tho we never went anywhere(lack of money and transportation played a major role )but we still managed to kiss at every opportunity(including behind the school at lunch)and took every opportunity we could to be together. One day, we were talking and I mentioned that a friend of mine who(that I have known since childhood was jealous)that we're a couple; he says "well you know, i only see us as friends and plus there's this girl i'm interested in.she lives in maryland" and I go "but i'm here.she's there and I'm here" and he goes "well I've known her since july.plus i helped her through a serious breakup..." and I go "so why did you ask me out?why do you kiss me if we're only friends?" he goes "I don't know" so we weren't talking much for about a week and then suddenly we started up with our old routines. We have been doing this everyday since. My friends tell me that I need to get rid of him. Should I? Thanks… (link)
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Bob has a messed-up view of what "just friends" do. He's also fallen to the Internet relationship thing. I'd give him his walking papers, he hasn't given you an answer and weird situations like this need answers at the very least.
There are plenty of fish in the sea, and this one's got high levels of pesticides and mercury.
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I wanted to work on a new look for the new year, I've been thinking about punk, not being way over board. . but adding my own looks, mixing and matching I don't want to be noticed, but I want some say in what I wear. . . For the past years I dressed to impress, now its time for a change. . . IM gunna be dressed cuz I feel like wearing w/e the heck I want! I love the color black. . and fire is pretty, but I wouldnt cal myself a pyro, cuz I dont really love fire. . There r ups and downs. . about fire ya know, And I feel depressed and silenced, and I write poems and write lyrics for songs. . Is that like gothy??? I mena The goth style is pretty nice, but I dont want to be a goth. . Iw ant to be maybe a skater punk. . or something. CAn you give me advice for this problem?? *I dont care what my friends think. . IM gunna chnage even if they dotn wnat me to, not my personality. . just my clothes. .why would they care right??* (link)
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Assemble the look you want, but be aware that just because your clothes aren't you doesn't mean folks won't try to figure you out in part through your clothes. Even your friends may wonder why you've changed. It's just human nature to ask why things change or stick out.
Ask ten goths what the core of being goth is and you're liable to get eleven nuanced opinions... if you want to dress to affiliate yourself with a group (skaters, goths, etc.) first see if you like the company, then consider the uniform, not the other way 'round. If you want to borrow from a group, then no need to take solely from one set of symbols, eh?
Hope that helps!
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i don't meant to insult those who are at a young age and say they have found love, but i realize that you have not felt true love until you meet the one meant for you. when my friend speaks of how much he is "in love", it just kinda pains me because he has no idea. i don't want to force him to believe he is only feeling a premature feeling of love and not the real thing... but i also won't be able to stand him getting hurt. what should i do to soothe my concience without telling him all of my opinions and putting out friendship at risk? (link)
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Be blunt. He'll probably try to ignore you, but it'll stick in the back of his head and be there when that take on things may be useful.
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Here's the situation:
I am a Baptist. My in-laws and my husband are Methodists. My husband and I attend a Baptist church. Under most circumstances, I don't pay attention to denominational differences, because I think we're all going to the same place anyway.
The problem is that my in laws, especially my mother-in-law, have made it clear that they don't like the fact that we're going to the "wrong" church. Earlier we even suggested that they could come to church on Christmas Eve with us, and my mother-in-law burst into tears and ran out of the room.
Evidently, the fact that I am not a Methodist offends them deeply. I don't want to join a different church just to please them, though. Any thoughts on what to do that doesn't involve hurting everyone's feelings? (link)
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You are what you are, but given that your husband's a Methodist and your in-laws are getting uppity, maybe you could visit the Methodists once in a while... not to join, but just to hear a different persepective and celebrate with the in-laws. After all, if you want to be in the same church as your in-laws for Christmas, visiting their church may do it.
I imagine there are multiple Christmas services at both places, so you wouldn't have to spurn your Baptist church, right? If not, I'm sure they'd understand (just don't miss Easter, I guess).
Hope that helps!
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Okay so im the one who wrote about the guy getting real close. 2day he started squezing my leg wen we were sitting down and was like does this tickle? An i was like no it hurts! And so he clenches his fist and lightly hits my leg. It didnt hurt though it sorta felt good! So then hes like hoo are you going out with? An course i say nobody. Then he starts talkin bought how he slammed into his sliding glass door this morning which was pretty funny but why is he talking about that? Is he gonna ask me out? How much does he like me?
Thanx~~~~~HELPLESS~~~~~~~YA (link)
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Maybe he lost his nerve... maybe he hit his head on the glass door?
He doesn't exactly sound suave and romantic, but it does sound like he's attracted to you. If you feel he's coming on a bit strong, back off and see if he gives you a little space. If he keeps coming on strong, run, run away!
Otherwise... you might ask him directly rather than me :)
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Okay i NEED 2 no! 4 all you GUYS NOT GIRLS out there. Please answer this! I know sum guys and wenever Im just standing around with someone and they come up out of nowere and there REALLY close! We touch like alot!! And wen they cum from in front they still get close like were gonna kiss. I used to back away, but now Im used to the whole thing. Does this meen they like me? Oh and wen they ask actiosly who I like. Then wen I say no i wont tell and then he comes up with gross peoples names! Like oh you like Fred for instince! Does that meen he like me??
~~~Troublesome~~~ (link)
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Yup, spending time in personal space tends to mean attraction... BUT different cultures have different ideas of personal space... so watch them around other people and see if they're in everyone's space the same way.
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Heya. I have a question for you, spacefem. You see, I'm bullied a lot at school. And I don't have a lot of emotional support, and I'm not much of a people person. Because of this, people tease me. I've started to just ignore people, and pretend they're not there or something, but it's getting harder as every day goes by. What can I do to either make ignoring people easier, or to stop most of the bullying? Please help, I could really use it! (link)
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Whatever support you have, keep in touch with them and let them know they're appreciated. If you don't have to ignore _everybody_, then it's easier to ignore the morons.
That, and you might cross your fingers and get the attention of the teachers about your plight: it's a bit of a gamble (sometimes the bullies get vindictive), but the bullies really should be set straight.
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Does anyone read French? If so, have you happened to read a book called 'Lygaya a Quebec' (I'm too lazy to put accents on it and I forget how). I'm currently doing a book report on it. Does anyone know what the place that Lygaya and Pierre are slaves at is called? i know it's something along the lines of 'El Dzijir' but i'm not sure. Any help whatsoever is appreciated. (link)
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Check a book catalogue site like this one, there's a plot summary under the book's entry to jog your memory:
http://www.sdm.qc.ca/txtdoc/lj97/litjeu97.html
The reviewer really savages the book there, by the way.
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I wanna start a hermit crab activist group in my state, because I, and others, believe that Hermit Crabs (land)are treated inhumanely. In pet stores they're always in tanks with out lights or heat lamps or spoges or the waters too deep and theyve all drowned in the water bowl. I HATE HOW THE POOR DEARS ARE TREATED!!
But i have my ways of getting them better living quaters. By Buying them all. like ....12 at a time from my local pet store....i buy every single one !!! Otherwise i go to the dude at the counter and tell him to clean out the tank once in a while. Or offer to clean it myself. Once i burst into tears cos all the poor little hermies were shell-less and food-less and it was AWFUL!!!
So Damnit, how can i get a group started in my town?? Can i spread the word around to my hermie friends and start an organisation that re homes them and adopts them??? Cos that would be cool.
Remember people- Hermit Crabs can live up to 120 years old in captivity, thses guys are pets for life, not just for christmas.
hell yeah. im gonna put this in random weirdos.....and no one will carea bout it and its go to hell. (link)
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If there's an SPCA or some such group around, they may be able to help you get organised... otherwise, I guess start at your school and see if you can start up a "Solidarity for Hermit Crabs' Rights" group or something...
Personally, I'd work towards releasing them in the wild and pressuring your city/state/province to enact a law that bans collection of hermit crabs and keeping them as pets.
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why do birds fly (link)
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The ones that do do so to make the penguins, emus, ostriches and rheas jealous. The dodos were angry to the point of standing around fuming out in the open while hunters drove them to extinction...
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Okay, I'm a sort of goody-goody. I don't do drugs, I don't have sex, I've never had a boyfriend, etc. etc. A lot of my friends don't believe that oral sex is something bad. i understand that it's something that a lot of people do, and I also understand that it could be much worse, but I really think it's gross, and I just wanted some people's opinions on it. Is it "naughty" to have oral sex?
*Just Wondering* (link)
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Oral sex is sex.
If sex is naughty for you, then oral sex is naughty.
If it's the risk of pregnancy that's naughty for you, then oral sex is not naughty (there was a recent pair of questions on this bit).
If it's the risk of STDs that's naughty for you, then, well, oral sex is safER sex, not risk-free.
Things might be naughty for you because they seem naughty to you, or because you believe in something else which makes them naughty.
Whatever oral sex's naughtiness status for you is, the only time your friends' O.S.N.S. should concern you is from an epidemiological point of view, or in a friendly debate, or if you'd rather not kiss a mouth that's done THAT (and try to be nice about it... maybe a hug or a Montreal-style kisses-on-the-cheeks or something), etc. Most of the time, it's something on which people can and do differ.
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ok i want truth ive writen a few poems and i want your feedback please
A Dad's Bad Day!!!
It was late saturday night,
when you turned on the light,
you sat by my bed,
and all I felt was dread,
I knew something had happened,
but wut I did not know what,
then you started to speak,
and then I knew,
I didnt want to believe I thought you lied,
but then you showed me where she layed,
on the ground in her home,
to what her dad had done,
She was so cold with pure love in her eyes,
I should of done more,
but she said "No its alright he didnt do it" as she stared at the sky,
this wasnt the first time she had marks to bare,
But she would say "Ooh that was Bear",
but how could a dog brusie her that bad,
The thought of this accident it seemed so sad,
As we stand above her body,
We now start looking for Mr. Nobody,
We found out he skipped town,
Now where do we look now?,
Its such a shame,
for a girl to pay,
for what her dad did because he had a bad day. (link)
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You might try working with the line lengths... get a regular "beat" going... and careful with the spelling.
It's all about reworking... read it out loud to yourself or a critical friend, take a quick breath at line endings. If you run out of breath, rethink your lines. If parts cause you to trip, change them.
I'm not quite sure of what's going on in the poem... it seems like a dad is talking to his daughter about another dad who killed his daughter and blamed it on the dog... and the first (living) daughter is a little creeped out... but it doesn't come out easily. When you rewrite it, read it to a fresh critical friend and get them to tell you what happened (stuff is always obvious to the poet).
It's good that you're writing, and about an issue people should be reminded of, but it takes work to polish a poem. Days in some cases, or a while just leaving it on the back burner.
Hope that helps!
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