khadiya's advice column

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Q: I've been dating my boyfriend for going on 6 Months. His dad died about two years ago and I've had 2 dreams about meeting his father in an all white room. Is there an symbolism in this dream?

It could be. His dad could be trying to tell you something. He might just be saying that he approves of you. Have you talked about this with your boyfriend? He might see it as a sign about something too.

Q: ok so first off i'm an 18 year old guy. i've been in a relationship with my dream girl for now 7 1/2 months. she's 17. she's the first girlfriend that i've ever had. before me she dated a guy for 7 months, they broke up about a year and a 1/2 ago, but that was pretty much it for her. we're both deeply in love with each other. before her i was depressed and miserable but she changed all that and since we've been together i'm happier than i ever could've imagined. i know that she's really happy with me too. so basically we can't get enough of each other. something that has really been getting to me lately is the issue of sex. in 7 1/2 months we haven't done anything sexual at all, no blowjobs, no handjobs or anything like that. i kind of thought that was a good thing for the first couple months because we were able to make something great together without sex or anything but lately it's been getting to me. i'm really sexually attracted to her and it's just driving me crazy. i know that she's strongly attracted to me too, she's said so and i'm exactly her type. we've both sent each other alot of nude pictures and there was no big deal about it. i feel completely comfortable sending them to her and she feels the same. we do touch each other alot, not sexually however. for example, sometimes we'll just lay on her bed for 4 hours snuggling up with each other really tight just talking about how much we love each other and stuff. we have this thing where we tickle each other alot. we tickle bare skin like the stomach, back, and she likes tickling my "man boobs". she also likes giving me wedgies. she's jokingly admitted that the whole wedgy thing is just an excuse to touch my ass. lately all that touching stuff has intensified. i get the feeling that i really need to do something. i know that alot of the time sex is bad for young couples but its been 7 1/2 months and we've made such a solid foundation already without it. i don't really want to go into like real sex until maybe prom night, which is in 2 months. i want our first time to be special and romantic. i do want to do some of the other stuff though. i want to go down on her so badly because i feel like she deserves it and i want to make her feel good. i don't even want a blowjob or anything else all that badly because i just want to make her feel good. she has told me that her ex went down on her while they were dating but she never had sex with him, she's still a virgin like me. it's embarassing to say but i know how to do all of the stuff because i looked it up online. there are alot of times when we have the opportunity to do stuff, both our parents work alot. i really don't know how to even get into that situation. people have said to just kind of "explore" while we're making out and go from there. i'm kind of an awkward kid and i'm somewhat unconfident and very scared of failure even though i've gotten all the info i need from websites and friends, both male and female. so if anyone could help me out i would much appreciate it. i know i probably sound weird but i'm just really confused about the whole thing.

Dont feel embarrassed about being a virgin. Its a great thing. And yes sex does complicate things. But if you think your ready and she says she is ready then go for it. But ALWAYS USE PROTECTION. It doesnt matter if she's a virgin sperm has no name and it can impregnate any female. If you really wanna go down on her that badly ask her. Im pretty sure she will so yes. If she discussed that (her ex doing it) with you then of course she wants you to do it.

Q: I have NO IDEA what category this goes in!!!

My friend was talking to this guy, her friend. He kept asking her for money and she kept saying no. He finally got mad. He called her horrible names & threatened to get a girl to fight her. Well, I guess he got even more mad and he said he was gonna shoot my friend! (He just got out of juvi!) Her mom called the cops and they said to call the school officer.

My friend is reaaally scared. Is there any possibility he could go back to jail for this?

He can get kicked out of school for it. So the best thing to do is open up your mouth and tell someone at the school.

Q: So throughout my entire life, I have gotten all A's and B's... until now.

I'm a freshman in college, and the change from high school hit me pretty hard. I'm still doing well enough, but I got a C+ and it nearly killed me. I've never gotten that type of grade before! The worst part is it was in Biology, which is my major!!!

I'm doing a little better this semester, but I really want to kick it into high gear and get my grades back up. I have A's and B's in my other classes, but a C+ in the class I'm majoring is unacceptable.

Since I go to a private college, I know it's only going to get worse as the years go on. I'm continuing taking Biology next year and I'm going to start taking Chemistry too.

I need lots of study tips, maybe some good study web sites for each subject (Bio and Chem), and any advice related. Thanks so much in advance!!!

Have you ever thought about recording your teacher's lectures so that you can go back and listen to them in your free time?
That makes it easier for you to catch things that you missed.
I know you are taking notes. But hif you hear something and you think its not important, write it down anyway.
Also go over your home work before a test or before you turn it in. Write down anything that you thought was a little complicated so you can go over it before a test.

Q: well im a girl and when i finger myself i start to ejaculate quickly
is this normal?

For some this is normal. Some girls are more sensitive than others.

Q: My boyfriend means alot to me. we're 15 and we've been together for a month. lately i've been worried. he asked me out 3 months after hima nd his ex broke up. and they went out for 17 months. longggg timeee!! well my friend saw them talking in the hall 4 days ago, for a little while. and they're now friends on myspace again. i dont want to get hurt. im not a jealous girlfriend. not one at all. i just dont like ex girlfriends..or at least this one. i just dont like the fact that they can be messaging over myspace and i wont even know about it. my and my bf dont have cell phones. so we only tlak on house phones and myspace occaionally. but we havent talked since our one month which was 4days ago. Am i worrying over nothing. the ex does have a bf. and says shes "happy" but idk. can/will anything happen b/w them again?

This could be an issue. The best thing for you to do is ask him about it. Because we can tell you everything in the world, but the only person that really knows is them too. You should just bring it up in a nice way.

Q: so yeah does anyone know what the song was that played during the ending credits when all the actors were dancing around? i searched google but apparently they didnt make a soundtrack? so i couldnt find it. thanks!

....Thats the one with beyonce's sister right? Because if it is the are dancing to Rihanna. Its ummm let me see...I think SOS or Pon de Replay? Im not sure because I cant remember the beat right now but it is a rihanna song.

Q: does discharge weird a guy out?

Not if he is educated on sexual health. A lot of guys know that that is supposed to be there. I hope you arent weirded out by it because its very healthy. It cleanses your vagina.

Q: what is pre-cum? one of my friends mentioned it and i started talking to my bf about it. he told me he had jacked off before and he knew nothing of any liquid before the cum. . so what is it? when does it happen ? im so confused. a little help please :D

It is the liquid that comes before the cum. It serves a purpose. It cleans the urethra of leftover pee and dead semen thats left over in the penis. A lot of men say that they dont see this but some times it can be very faint or it will come out with the cum and its very runny at first.

Q: When my boyfriend fingers me my legs start to shake and i start to feel like I have to pee...is this normal?

For some people it is.
Its the "big O" that you maybe experiencing. Everyone's body handles it a different way.

Q: Ok I have normal blue eyes but I want navy blue eyes! How can I get them without contacts?

You cant. I've never heard of people changing their eye color. But blue eyes are beautiful so cherish the ones you got!

Q: recently, I've been so under pressure, at school and at home, my parents are on the verge of splitting up and my exams in like 1 month, my friends aren't getting along and there all bitchy to each other, and 'm trying not to get involved but it's hard. On top of it all this boy I really like stopped talking to me for no reason. A few days ago I cut myself, I was really upset. The only thing is I can't help thinking about how good it felt and I want to keep doing it, but my friend noticed today and made me promise I wouldn't. I don't want to break my promise but I can't handle things anymore I feel like I need to do it more and more to release my tension and anger, but I know it's bad. help me, what should I do?

First off, You should lift some of the weight off your shoulders. Your mom and dad are just your mom and dad. Whats going on between them really isnt your business. I myself had to learn that. If they are going to split up, they are going to do it regardless of what you do, say, think, or feel so try to take that off of your mind as much as possible.
You want to release some tension or anger? exercise so you can sweat it out. Take up boxing, swim, anything but cut yourself. Write it all down. Any way that it comes out its gonna come out. If you have to scream into a pillow do that.
Tell your friends, if they were really your friends they wouldnt let whats going on between them effect you. You can be everyone's friend without being in the center of comflict and if they choose not to accept that then they arent true friends. Because true friends wouldnt want to lose you over somebody else's bullshit.
Now the guy. Its so many boys in the world!! Im sure that isnt going to be the last guy you like. So stop stressing over that. He may be going threw problems of his own. Work on passing your exams then worry about everything else, because your education and your future are way more important than all of this stress.

Q: Hey, im 14/f. Me and my mom kinda have a really bad relationship. Ofcourse, being a daughter I want to have a mother to count on and be able to tell her my secrets w/o her yelling or getting upset with me. I would like to have a nice mature conversation with her telling her that i wish to have a mother daughter relationship in which i dont have to be scared to tell her things nor do i have to sneek things by her. I also want her to understand that i am in deed growing and need to be allowed to do more things and have more priviledges. PLEASE HELP. HOW DO I TELL HER ALL tHIS IN A MATURE WAY? Thank you veryyyy much. :)

Write her a letter. If she never gives you a chance to talk then maybe she will take time out to read. Then leave it somewhere that you know she will found it when you arent around.

Q: okay so there's this guy at school. i never see him except in the hall and one day he just randomly started talking to me so i was like whatever, b/c i wasnt gonna be mean. then he gives me asks for my # and gives me his and starts walking me everywhere and acts like we've known each other forever. i know he just wants to get to know me but he obviously doesnt get that im not interested...im at a loss. ive turned him down a few times and he still doesnt get the picture. he's really getting on my nerves and one time he came to my locker during study hall and the guy that i actually like started walking toward my locker and then turned around when he saw the other kid b/c he thought i was into that guy or something. he is really starting to annoy the heck out of me and i just wanna be like "go away" but im too nice to do that...ive tried ignoring him but then when you least expect it, he shows up someplace else...ahh! help please?

Be honest. And tell him in the nicest way that you arent interested. If you gotta be mean about it to get your point across then so be it. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.

Q: what is pms?

PreMenstrual Syndrome. Some females get really cranky, and moody around that time of the month. Some females develop cramps, and bloating and and it indicates that its almost that time. So basically, thats what it is. The time before your period.

Q: 13/f
hi i just got my period for the first time on jan.31 and then i got it yesterday well my boobs are that grown they are like a 36 A and im sorta over weight [150+] well i need to get a bra from target or walmart [cuz i want one that like around 5 dollars] but the ones that are my size they dont fit AROUND me...
what do i do?

buy a bigger size. Get someone at the store that is by the dressing rooms to measure you. Your bra size not just measured by your cup size its measure by the length around you.

Q: I have a guy friend who has dated my best friend off and on.Her and him still talk like nothing ever happened between them. My guy friend lets call him S, has a weird friendship with me. He acts like he's my best friend when we are on the phone or not around a big crowd. But when we are with a group for example sitting down at lunch together (which is everyday except for when he has lunch detention or is absent he tells me to sit by him) he jokes about me,says bad things about me & talks about things that he knows & everybody else knows isn't true then I end up cussing him out. Then people are like how can you be friends with him & do that stuff. So its like we can only be friends around each other and only each other. Yesterday he told me I was his best friend that was a girl. And I am thinking are you serious which I knew he was. So should I #1 when we have lunch tomorrow not talk to him or sit near him but with a different group of people. #2 continue treating him the same & just act like nothings happening. #3 talk to him about the way he treats me. #4 none of the above if you choose this give an explanation. AND THE BIG QUESTION is he my true friend. PS is this signs of him liking me even though I don't date my bff's exes

This is a possibility that he does like you.
But talk to him about the way he treats you and let him know that it pisses you off. And if he still does it after that, stop talking to him. Dont completely cut him off just dont tell him all your business and dont talk to him as much.

Q: When girls give BJ, I heard they swallowed the cum. is it true?

Thats a choice not something you absolutely HAVE to do.

Q: I'm going on birth control very soon. I have made an appointement with the doctor and I have to speak to her for a half hour. witch questions will he ask me? and also, whats the best kind of birth control out there?
thanks

I have a low maintenance birth control called Implanon. It is an implant which goes in the opposite arm you write with and it can stay in for up to three years. You dont even know its there and it can be taken out whenever you want. It has a website just search it in Google
Mirena is also another type of low maintenance and long last birth control. Its good for five years. The doctor puts it in your vagina for you.
I like anything thats low maintenance.
You can get depo, you have to get a shot ever 3 months. the patch is weekly.

The downsides and upsides to these are with the Depo, there is a chance that you will have NO PERIOD!!! That goes for the Implanon also.
And the marina your period will be heavy.

Q: wat's the one song kaba modern does the first song on episode 4
that "so many night you layaway"??

http://youtube.com/watch?v=MwPUbSVTO3c

thank youuuu

First song played? Sexual seduction. But after that I dont know.

bio

Its A brand new year!! And I havent really been giving advice lately so now IM BACK!! If you have something to ask dont hesitate to ask. DONT BE SHY!! I've been there! Or I know someone who has!

I am a black albino female whose been through alot!!! I have a lot advice to give. Im a very knowledgeable person, and i look at things from many different views. Im very blunt, so if you dont want to hear it straight dont ask me!! any thing else you wanna know get at me!

LET ME REINTRODUCE MYSELF REAL FAST, REAL QUICK!
iM A BLUNT PERSON, IF YOU ASK A GROWN UP QUESTION, IMA GIVE A GROWN UP ANSWER. RECENTLY A GIRL ASKED HOW TO GIVE A BLOWJOB AND I WAS VERY BLUNT AND UPFRONT WITH HER. I GOT SHUNNED FOR MY ACTIONS SO, BASICALLY. IM GOING TO TRY TO AVOID ANSWERING QUESTIONS LIKE THIS. BECAUSE ALL THOUGH THESE KIDS ASKING THESE QUESTIONS ARE YOUNG, THEY OBVIOUSLY BEEN DOING SOMETHING THEY AINT GOT NO BUSINESS DOING BECAUSE THE WOULDNT BE ASKING THOSE TYPES OF QUESTIONS.