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im 14 years old, and for some time i thought i might be sexually abused as a child, but i cant remember. i was adopted at 7 an before then i wood visit my biological family, an they wer into things children shouldnt be around. but anyway, recently i found a book on telling if you wer sexually abused as a child, i have more than half the symptoms, and i have these flashbacks of a white man, who had white hair and white facial hair. growing up ive been terrified of santa clause, the dark and open closets at night. i never added it all up til i read that book. i cant remember exactly though, so what should i do? leave it alone or tell someone? but i dont think anyone wold believe me anyway. im really not sure if im ready to face the truth if it happened, and besides if i cant remember, then maybe its my imagination right? (link)
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It's not uncommon for victims of abuse to undergo repression. Repression is a psychological act of rejecting certain memories, experiences or feelings. Basically, it's when you make yourself forget extremely horrific events in your past.
You can take as many little quizzes as you want, but I'm certain that the only way to find out if your thoughts are real is to be examined by a therapist. Asking someone who is not a trained psychologist won't help because they haven't studied psychology.
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im engaged to a woman who just doesnt like my 9 year old son. she has told me she doesnt like him and shows very little affection towards him. what should i do? (link)
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Your son should come first. He is your family and blood. I don't want mean to cast ill will on your marriage, but she may not stick around forever. However, your son, will.
I wouldn't trust her around him, either. Who knows what may happen behind closed doors between the two of them. She could physically or verbally abuse or neglect him. Even if she doesn't do that, him realizing that she doesn't like him will cause serious problems, and he will hate you for it. I know.
I understand that he isn't her son and that may be why she doesn't show love to him, but she has to accept that marrying you includes marrying your son (not like that, but you know what I mean). I'm sorry, but I don't know what kind of person hates a child.
Anyways, you need to MAKE her understand that she must accept him. That doesn't mean he has to call her mommy, but she needs to be some sort of mother figure in his life. If she can't accept that, then I'm sorry, but she isn't the right woman for you.
I am serious about putting your child first. You can't be selfish. I can personally speak for children whose parents put their own needs first. You don't want to be that kind of parent.
Best wishes.
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I broke my moms window when i stayed home from school and i dont know what to do plz help me.
Im really scared. (link)
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You should tell her immediately before she finds out herself. If you wait to tell her, she'd be upset that you are keeping things from her, which will make her question her trust in you. Just be upfront, tell her what really happened, and apologize. If it was a mistake, just admit to it. If you were horsing around, own up and apologize.
She'll be upset and stressed out at first, which is to be expected, but after that, she'll calm down and get over it. She may not let you stay home from school anymore, but stuff happens.
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so i blowdry & straiten my hair almost everyday. & it seems to be getting pretty damaged and dry. is there any kind of shampoo&conditioner i can use to help repair my hair and make it look shiny & smooth?!! (link)
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Whenever you apply any kind of heat to your hair (blowdrying, straightening, curling) you HAVE to protect it. Buy a heat protecting spray made by Tressemme.
There is no way you can reverse hair damage. You can't repair hair that's already damaged and broken. The only thing you can do to get rid of it is cut off the split ends.
What you can do after that is buy shampoos and conditioners to prevent breakage. Try TLC shampoo by Sunsilk and Neutrogena leave-in conditioner, or their triple moisture daily conditioner.
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hey so i recently started going on yaz birth control and i have gained like 10 pounds. i usually stay the same weight so i was shocked to see this change. since i think it is because of the pill, does that mean i cannot loose it? or just have to work harder? do i have to go off the pill if i ever want to get back to how i was? (link)
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A lot of girls gain weight after going on the pill (including me and I HATE it). I basically get the same symptoms I get when I'm on my period, which means I'm always bloated.
You just have to work REALLY hard to lose the weight and watch what you eat.
If you do choose to stop the pill, then YES, you will lose the weight you gained.. but make sure you are going off it for the right reasons.
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Theres this guy I kind of like at work and the other day we were talking about our facebook pages, and he asked me how to spell my name so I thought that he was going to ask me to be a friend on his, but he didn't. I haven't known him that long now. Should I wait and see if he asks me later, ignore it or should I ask HIM to be a friend? And how would I play it off if he actually says no because I don't want it to be awkward at work. Thanks for any advice :) (link)
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Not to scare you, but he might have asked you for work purposes. They like to do that nowadays as a form of "screening" so they can see what kind of people they have working for them, but that probably isn't it lol.
He may have forgotten to add you, or he's one of those people who doesn't go on his fb too often.
Anyways, if I were you, I'd definitely just go ahead and add him. It's not that big of a deal. I really don't think he'd decline, I mean, WHO does that? If he says no, just don't bring it up and forget about it. He's a jerk.
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13/F/UK
i'm 6 and 1/2 stone in weight
(that should help)
Ok. So i think i'm kinda going Anorexic. For the whole of last week and the weekend i've eaten a bit of a meal or food and i wanted to throw up. I never did throw up but nearly did.
It did get worse sometimes.
But i knew i had to eat so i was forcing myself to eat more every meal, but i couldn't.
Could you please tell me whether YOU think that's classed as Anorexia? or YOU think i have it?
Thanks. xo (link)
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What you are talking about is bulimia, not anorexia. Bulimia is where a person throws up the food they eat. Oftentimes they binge (eat A LOT of food in one sitting) then purge shortly after. Bulimics are usually caught by their dentists because their teeth begin to rot (from the stomach acid that comes up each time they purge).
Anorexia is characterized as not eating, or starving yourself. In addition to not eating, it's also common for those suffering anorexia to overexercise, too. People with anorexia suffer from hair loss or thinning, all kinds of problems stemming from nutrition deficiencies, and don't live that long.
I don't think you're bulimic yet, but you are definitely on the path to bulimia. I highly advise you to stop now. If you are doing this because of social standards, this is NOT the way to do it. Ending up with in a hospital bed with rotted teeth and having to be fed by tubes is NOT glamorous.
Plus, starving yourself puts your body into a starvation mode. Meaning, the next time you eat, you bloat, which will make you even more upset until you stop eating and to put things short, you die.. Women like this don't live long. You also get a bloated belly, like if you've ever seen commercials of starving children in third world countries.. it's exactly like that. These children die everyday. If you choose this path, you will be no different.
You should open up to someone about your problems, like your parents, siblings, cousins, best friends, counselor, or anyone you feel comfortable with. It's best to stop a problem in its earlier stages.
Good luck
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Okay, so I am a very unusual size, and I was just hoping to get some advice on finding something... I can't find anything unless I go out of town, and barely even then. I have a very small frame, so I'm a 32 all around, but then I'm a C cup. I'm told I'm lucky, but all I can really wear are sports bras! What is a good (and not too expensive) place to find something comfortable in my size? (link)
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Victoria's Secret! I'm absolutely positive. I wear a 32B and sometimes 32C so I know they have it. VS isn't that expensive if you buy stuff on sale.. and they are ALWAYS having sales. You just have to sign up for their newsletter to get the promo codes. If you don't have the store near you, just order online. I believe Macy's has them too but they might be more expensive.
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But i have NOTHING to put on a resume. what would make me really stand out and what type of things gon on a ruseme? (link)
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The first thing you need to do is find things to put on your resume. Any experience you have (roles, commercials, modeling, schools, workshops) would go on a resume. You have to go out there and look for casting calls, auditions, or to be an extra. You should also look into short films or student films. While they usually aren't paid gigs, the experience really helps and you can put in on a resume.
You almost always have to start at the bottom (like being an extra). It's harder to get a speaking role if you don't have acting experience either, so you may want to take some acting classes or workshops. Join the drama club, audition for the school play or choir.
Modeling is also a good thing to try because it helps you in front of the camera and an audience, and also teaches you how to deal with criticism.
Lots of experience will get you noticed, and most importantly, the bigger the name, the more noticed you'll get. If you work with or for well-known companies (say for instance, Disney), that's a huge plus. However, you can only get to that level by being experienced and good at what you do.
A big part of this kind of industry is who you know. You really have to market yourself and get yourself out there. Don't expect things to just come to you. You seriously have to go out there and look for as much work you can get.
Good luck to you!
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My hair is pretty damaged and I'm trying to find a way to "heal" it if possible. My hair is fairly long, stick-straight, thin, and has lots of dead-ends.
When I shampoo my hair I always condition it too. I shampoo first (twice) then condition it right away. I leave the conditioner on until I finish showering so it is the last thing I wash off of me. I don't really use any specific kind of conditioner so it'd be nice if someone could recommend something really good for damaged hair.
I saw this stuff in Wal-Mart that says it helps to heal damaged hair but it's made out of placenta and that is entirely too creepy for me to be able to use.
Are there any products I can look into using for such a thing? (link)
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There's no way you can repair split ends. The only way to get rid of them is to cut them off.
There are, however, products you can use to PREVENT split ends and damaged hair. Biolage is good, as someone else suggested. You can also walk into a salon and have someone help you choose products for your hair type (thick, curly, thin, etc). Or else you can buy a deep conditioner from the drugstore. Neutrogena has a good deep conditioner. I believe it's called triple moisture or something like that.
You should buy a protective spray that you spray on your wet hair. Tresseme makes a heat protecting spray that works great. Any time you use heat on your hair, you HAVE to protect it. Sadly, only a few people do.
You shouldn't shampoo your hair twice. That's too much. You also should only wash your hair every other day. People think that's gross, but washing it too much depletes your hair of the natural oils from your scalp needed to moisturize your hair.
Also, be gentle when working with wet hair and brushing. Don't overbrush your hair to put too much stress on it (like putting it in a bun everyday) or styling too much with heat (blowdrying, curling and ironing).
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so i dont know if i have it (yeast infection) because i dont have lumps down their i do use a dull razor blade that ill change today! and it itchs one day then stops and doesnt itch for a long long time and today when i used the restroom i did see white stuff but just today never ever before and i believe i think it smells
so yes or no
if i do then is their things i can use at home to make it go away or something i can do to make it stop and does this spread if you have sex?
if no home products then could you name some over the counter ones and not to expensive and for sure will they work? and how long will it take to go away?
did i get it from having unprotected sex, if yes does that mean my bf has or had it to? and hows it feel to a guy if he has it bc it itchs for girls i believe.
thx in advance to everyone eho asks im worried!!! (link)
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You don't have to have bumps for it to be a yeast infection. Here are the symptoms:
* Burning, redness, and swelling of the vagina and the area around it
* Pain when urinating
* Pain or discomfort during sex
* A thick, white vaginal discharge that looks like cottage cheese and does not have a bad smell
So yes, I believe you do.
There are no "home remedies". It can only be rid of with antibiotics, so you either have to go to the doctor or get an off-the-counter medicine like Monistat. Even if you don't think you have it, it's best to go to the doctor find out. Plus, not to scare you, but these could be signs of an STD.
It's rare to get a yeast infection from sex. It's usually from stress, lack of sleep, illness, poor diet, period, and other factors.
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16/f/160cm/142 lbs.
If I cut back on all junk foods, with exception to carbs which are needed as well as lean protein, substitute water for soft drinks.
And exercise 30 minutes (cardio) and doing various toning exercises, 5 days a week, will I be able to lose 10-15 lbs by the end of summer?
Also, does mindset play a big role in weight loss? Because I tried to lose weight last summer, ate properly and stuff but I never lost anything. (link)
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Healthy weight loss averages to about a pound a week. Any more than that would be unhealthy.
If you wanted to lose more than that, you'd have to do a fad diet. Fad diets are very bad because they are not nutritionally balanced. Yes, you will drop pounds fast, but once you get off the diet, you gain all the weight you lost plus more.
The diet and exercise plan you have listed is perfectly fine. As long as it's healthy, that's good.
YES! Your mindset plays a big role! You have to be confident and determined all the time. Always push yourself and motivate yourself to your goals. How you feel reflects how you look. If you feel like crap, you are going to look like crap. Just believe in yourself and you will see results.
Let me remind you that what's on the scale doesn't matter. It's really about how you look. People don't look at you and say, "Oh, she looks 150 lbs". No way. Who does that? It's about how you LOOK. If you look good, you look good.
I say, stick to your plan and you'll see results. If not, either exercise more or eat less (but don't go anorexic!)
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so i was pregnant and had a miscarriage.. im pregnant again and im so confused how this happened again the first i can see because my partner and i were foolish and didnt use protection but ever since then i make sure we do and its been working well.. im about 98% sure im pregnant again because my period is late and im having sign of being pregnant i havent taken a test yet but im positive i am.. im taking one in a couple days.. but anyways the first time i got pregnant was with a diffrent guy ah my ex we split up after we found out about the miscarriage it was just to painful and awkward but ive been dating this guy for about 5 months.. and im sooo scared because this guy is immature a lot of the time and wouldnt be able to support me and he wouldnt be there and "he wants a life" .. thats like what he told me and im scared because if i raise this child on my own .. im not going to be able to i dont know what to do my mom thinks i should get an abortion im kinda leaning to that but then again i dont know if i could kill my own baby.. it seems so wrong to me but its life would be so messed up considering the situations right now.. someone suggested adoption to me.. i wouldnt be able to do that i dont think anyone in my family or friends would be supportive and i just couldnt handle that.. what should i do?? please help me! any advice on anything is more then good thank you!
im 16/f boyfriends 16 also (link)
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The advice from Peeps is EXCELLENT.. The best I've ever seen on this site by far..
It's unfortunate that you could possibly be pregnant even though you were practicing safe sex. However, the only 100% guaranteed method of birth control is abstinence.
It's true, the majority of women who have gotten abortions regret it and are haunted by their decisions. You are very young and thus too vulnerable to subject yourself to something that emotional. You probably wouldn't be able to handle it. You said yourself that the whole ordeal with your first boyfriend was "painful and awkward". Can you imagine how much worse this would be? I really don't think abortion is the right choice for you, unless you were caught in a VERY extreme situation (which you aren't). By the way, I'm not enforcing any pro-choice/pro-life views here. I'm just trying to inform you of what I think is best for you.
If you have to raise your child on your own, it's not impossible. Millions of women in America have been doing it for years, every day with little or no money, and they still make it.
It's terrible that it has to be like this for women, but at least you can get child support from the guy.
I believe your parents would be supportive in raising your child. Many pregnant teens are afraid that their parents will abandon them or kick them out, but while this does happen, in the end, they want to have a relationship with their grandchildren. Usually grandparents stay at home to help raise the child while you work.
I understand you feel like your family wouldn't be supportive, but nothing can be changed about the situation. In the end, you are all blood. They can be upset with your decisions, but that will go away. I mean, who is mean to a baby? Come on..
Someone in my family got pregnant when she was 18. Her family was disappointed, but didn't leave her. She and the guy got married and worked. They were able to make a living like a normal family, but they were just young.
As for adoption, I don't really think you should do that either. Both you and the child will be wondering about one another constantly. Kids who are adopted have a lot of issues of anger, acceptance and self-worth to deal with. He will always wonder why you left him, what you look like. You will wonder how he grew up to be, what his family is like. Even though you could keep in contact with him, it's not the same thing. Do you really want to put him through that because of your selfishness? This is really a last resort, which again, isn't your case here.
Well, if I were you, I'd send some of my guy friends, brothers and/or cousins to set this guy straight. No offense, but a little girl bitching at a guy doesn't do shit. Sometimes you need to send some guys in to scare him and knock some sense into his head. He needs to realize that he was a part of this too and you BOTH have to deal with the consequences.
Anyways, you might not even be pregnant. You haven't even taken a test to make sure. Sometimes you have to take two to make sure, but remember that you have to wait at least ten days (I believe) after conception for the results to show up.
Pretty much 100% of my friends who are sexually active have pregnancy scares. ALL of them think they are pregnant, but none of them have been pregnant so far. I get a call every weekend. It's ridiculous. Girls really need to take care of themselves. Men and women are equally responsible when it comes to having sex.
Best of luck to you.
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Is it normal to be depressed about not knowing your purpose in life? Depressed like it randomly puts you in a not so great mood and you walk around feeling sad.. not suicidal or anything. Also, any suggestions how to come out of this mood of constant unhappiness? (link)
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Yes, we've all feel that way at some point; We're only human. What it is is a chemical imbalance. You have to increase your endorphins.
One way to do this is by exercise. People don't really take this seriously, but it's a proven fact, and I can personally speak for it. Endorphins are released during long, continuous workouts, when the level of intensity is between moderate and high, and breathing is difficult. This can be done via physical activities like running, biking, playing sports, or working out.
You could also try listening to happy, upbeat music. Songs that are fun or maybe some older songs that you associate happy memories with. Don't listen to music that gets you down. Surround yourself with positive influences, which also includes people. If there are negative or sarcastic people around you, they won't help. Hang out with people that make you smile and laugh.
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I haven't had my period for a little bit over 2 months now, and I am getting worried. I haven't been sexually active, and if I have I have absolutely no memory of it. But I am still very worried that something is wrong. I started my period like 1 year ago, and I usually have my periods around the same time as my mother, but again, I haven't have my period in a little over in 2 months. I mean, my mom has had 3 periods so far, that means I missed 3. So is there something I should be worried about? (link)
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If you are not sexually active, then you can rule out the whole pregnancy scare. You began your period only a year ago, so don't be surprised that it's irregular. Sometimes it takes years to achieve a regular, steady cycle, and sometimes not at all. I've been having periods for 7 years and the only time it was regular was for the first two years.
If you've been eating differently since then, like not getting enough nutrients, that's a likely cause. I stopped eating meat and didn't get my period for almost three months. If that's the case, you should really follow a healthy diet (the food pyramid) so you get enough of the right foods in your system.
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why are my siblings so mean to me when i do nothing to them? (link)
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I could help you better if you provided more info, but based on what you said, it could be for a number of reasons:
- They are jealous
They may feel like you are better than them (academically, physically, etc), or better looking. It might seem like your parents pay more attention to you and praise you more, like a favorite. They might want to lead the life you do, for example, if you are a pretty popular person.
- They do it to feel better about themselves
Maybe they are just unhappy with themselves. Making you feel worse not only makes them feel better, but also gives them a sense of power and control over you and/others.
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ok so i got my hair dyed today, and i absolutly HATE IT!!! its like RED and my natural color is blonde. Is there any home remidies that could possibly get my old color back?!?! thx! (link)
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What color were you trying to get in the first place? If you were trying to go to a brown color of some sort, pick a color that has ash or cool tones in it (it minimizes the red tones).
If you got it done at a salon, you can go back and demand that they fix it. You might be afraid to go back there, but it's kind of their job to do it right. Same thing if they messed up your cut. Plus, this is what they'd lose clientele over.
There isn't any home remedies. These are permanent chemicals you're dealing with. There's such thing as a color stripping chemical, which you can get at a beauty supply and sometimes the drugstore. They can take the color out, but it won't give you EXACTLY the same color you had before. You might have to dye it over again.
If I were you, I'd wait a couple days so your hair can re-moisturize, then buy some dye from the store and just re-dye it. I will warn you though, don't be surprised if the old color begins to resurface a little bit. This happens no matter what. You just have to keep redying, which is the pain about coloring your hair.
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So I got a job at a local fast food restaurant. I've been working there for a month now. I just got my fourth paycheck today, and I brought it home and instead of giving it to my parents to put in my bank account like I usually do, I kept it and told them that i wanted to spend part of it on some new clothes and things. I'm 17 years old this Saturday and they told me that I couldn't spend any of my money. it really made me mad and I walked off and now they're mad at me. I haven't gone shopping in nearly four months, and even when I do I don't spend a lot. I don't understand why they won't let me use any of the money that I earned. I'm so sick of hearing them tell me to save for the future and college and crap like that. I'm seventeen years old and I want a little freedom to spend a part of my paycheck the way I please. what should I do? (link)
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I understand what you mean, I hated being told to save for college, but the truth is you really need to. You won't really understand until you get there. College is so expensive and everyone is broke from going. You'll need that money to buy stuff for your room, some clothes, and books (which can amount up to $500 depending on your classes). Tuition + room and board is insanely expensive (usually covered by loans and scholarships). Plus, you want to be able to go out with your friends (eating out, shopping, clubbing) when you get the chance. If you don't have pocket money, you can't really go anywhere.
You should ask your parents if you can keep like 20% of your paycheck and deposit the rest. Let them understand that it IS your money and you should get some leeway with it. You're still saving the rest of it in the end.
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kay, so last fall i had a really bad fall down a hill, and i broke a ton of blood vessels in my butt. you can see the lines. how do i get rid of them. i have this really cute swimsuit and i can't wear it cuz all my vessel things show. plzz help! (link)
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Broken blood vessels usually means bruising. You can't really get rid of a bruise. They just heal on their own. You can try icing it to make the swelling go down. But there isn't much more you can do but wait for your body to heal itself.
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how much weight would I lose WITHOUT replacing it with muscle in 4 weeks?? I am going swimming with all my grade in 4 weeks and i really really wanna lose some weight! I am planning on doing AT LEAST 10-15 minutes of Cardio everyday (keep in mind i also have to study for exams, and work, so please dont tell me I have to work more) so yeah do you think I'm gunna do good?? Im REALLY working to target me inner thighs, can I tone those in 4 weeks?? Thanks :)
any other tips feel free to tell me
PS I know you cant spot-reduce, but please help me on this one :) (link)
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To clear things up, fat and muscle don't REPLACE each other. They are both there, always, but they can either shrink or get bigger.
Don't worry about looking muscular, it's physically impossible for women to get bulky like men, unless they use steroids and follow strict diets and intense workouts (like female bodybuilders and fitness models).
Also, don't stress about the scale. Most of the women who look skinny, fit and toned weigh much more than you think they do.
You say you can't do any more than 10-15 of cardio, but that isn't enough for fat burning. Ideally, you need to do 30-60 min, especially if you want to get fit in such a short time. 10-15 is okay if you want your heart to stay healthy, but not enough if you are looking to get in shape.
True, you can't spot-reduce. Just stick to cardio to burn the fat, and do lunges with weights, climb stairs, leg lifts, bike, or run to tone up your thighs.
Most importantly, make sure you are eating healthy and drinking lots of water. Exercising and eating right go hand in hand. You can't expect results doing one thing and not the other. It doesn't matter too much about following a strict diet and counting calories as long as you eat lots of veggies and fruits. It's common sense to pick an apple over some chips.
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