E-mail:
lawwing-yan@hotmail.comGender:
FemaleLocation:
Edinburgh, Scotland.Age:
20MSN:
lawwing-yan@hotmail.comMember Since:
January 20, 2011Answers:
179Last Update:
April 20, 2014Visitors:
10019about
Hey guys. I'm just a girl going through the transition of a teenager to an adult and all that it entails.
I've had a colourful life with many a lesson learned and much to offer. Whether you want advice, support or just a chat then all you gotta do is reach out.
I'm honest, whether it hurts or not, but i'm fair; open minded and philosophical, a little crazy yet very logical, at times rather controversial.
If you have a question go ahead and ask!
advice
Hey guys. I really need someone to talk to and I have no one. I don't even have one person. So, I hope that maybe someone out there will here my cry and give me the advice I need. I appreciate first of all that you are reading this. But, I really need practical advice. Not just someone telling me to talk to my mom or something like that. Because obviously, I wouldn't be at this point if I didn't "talk" to her. I have sat her down and talked to her about this. But, my mom doesn't listen. Not only does she not listen, but you never know what kind of mood she's in. She may say ok and the next day she goes and does it again.
First of all I'm 20/female. I live with my mom and my grandparents. My mom and I have good and bad days like any other family. Sometimes we fight. Other times we're friends. But, it's gotten to a point where I've lost all my energy and I think I'm starting to get sick over it. About two years ago, I suffered with anorexia and bullemia because of the stress. Now, I feel like I just get sick all the time because my immune system is suffering.
My mom has been a very "obsessive" person from the time I was very young. When, I got into my teens it became a problem. She was overprotective but not in the sense that she wouldn't let me do anything. She would let me go out, but back then when there was myspace, she would go into mine, read my messages, check my e-mails. She had all my passwords and if I changed them, she would throw a TANTRUM. You may think I'm kidding, but I'm talking about the tantrum of a small child. Like crying. So, I would have to give her the passwords. If I didn't, she would threaten never to speak to me again. She would sit beside me when I was on Instant Messenger and tell me what to tell people. I had absolutely NO secrets from her. Like, not even a secret a friend told me would be a secret from her. She would find out. It made me really upset but I thought it was a small price to pay since she would let me go out and stuff. There are some kids whose parents don't. So, I thought I was lucky in that sense. I knew I had freedom I only craved a TINY piece of privacy, like having my own private e-mail account. But, like I said. I thought it was a small price to pay.
So, fast-forward. When it was time to apply for college, she really wanted to me stay here. She didn't want me to leave. At this point, I was just starting to get over anorexia and bullemia and I felt like I needed her and like I needed my family nucleus. But, I may have been wrong. The day after graduation, I was contemplating just doing summer here where I live and transferring in the Fall to a university in the state but outside my city. The day after I graduated, my mom dropped a major bomb: I'm adopted. I don't think after I heard that news, I was ever the same again. She didn't sit me down and talk to me. She didn't take my hand and say that she decided to adopt a baby. This is how it happened. I was crying because I was really upset about the school situation. I was crying hysterically too because the night before I had a fight with her. I was mad for a variety of reasons. But, I went to a very small school. 75 people in my graduating class, all girls school. These were the richest people in my city. I wasn't rich, but I've always been content. However, everyone in my class drove to school senior year. I was the ONLY senior who didn't drive because my mom was too afraid to let me drive. I just wasn't where I wanted to be in life and I was so angry at her because of the night before. So, she woke up really upset and so did I. She pretty much told me while we were fighting that she wasn't my mother and that my dad wasn't my father and that his kids really were and those are the kids he lives with. Every time I think about being adopted, it's really hard to think of it as this loving, beautiful thing, which it is. But, because i found out that way, I associate it with fighting and people leaving and it's just something I'm not comfortable with.
The day of my orientation, I couldn't even sleep over at the dorms (which some students due at orientation so they don't have to drive back the next day), and I couldn't stay there. I went into this really big depression. They were talking about fraternities and sororities and all the clubs offered and I was nowhere near listening. My mind was elsewhere. The same day of orientation, my biological mother had e-mailed me back. That same day, I had a relapse and went back to my eating disorder until February of last year.
I can only imagine how much better I would have done in school, all the things I would have joined, all the friends I would have made, if I wouldn't have found out that way on that day. I know there's never a right time but there is a right way. And it's not shouting at someone and telling them in an argument. If she had held that secret in her for 18 years, in all types of circumstances, why now?? She claimed that the reason she spied on me all those years was so that someone would not tell me. She wanted to delete the myspace message before someone sent me a message saying that i was adopted. There were people in my school who knew because they knew people in my family. I swear I had no idea before that day. I look like my parents. I'm their daughter. But, I'm so upset because they don't understand what I'm going through and they don't want to understand.
All my mom does is fight with me. She makes a mess out of my room and has no respect for the fact that I just need my own little space to study. She really doesn't care. I have talked to her about it before, but she continues to throw things around my room, on my desk, etc. She doesn't log into my facebook account anymore, but she got her own. I made the mistake of telling her who the guy that I like is, and she looks at his facebook day and night. That's not about protecting me anymore. It's about being a nuisance. I'm TWENTY! I'm not trying to say I know everything about the world. I know I'm young. But, I think I'm past the stage where my mother has to spy on me to get information about me. If she wanted to know more about my life, she could start gaining my trust and i would tell her.
Even when I have friends or go out with new friends, she ALWAYS has something bad to say about them. It's more like she wants to be my only friend. I don't know what it is. But, talking hasn't helped and I've lost all sense of how to take care of this situation.
Help!
xoxo
The bottom line: your mum needs help. It's not just a case of an overbearing parent anymore but it's that because of how your mum treats you and your relationship with her that is making you ill. You developed an eating disorder becaue of it and you relapsed because of it. It seems that you have done well to try to be a good daughter and you have exhausted every option you can to try to come to a compromise with your mother. Her behaviour isn't healthy and this is impacting negatively on you. It is time to do something about it.
I would urge you to present your mum with the oppertunity of speaking to a professional. Similar to marriage counselling, couples therapy deals with siblings, friends and parent/child relationsips. It gives you a chance to try to deal with your situation with the help of a neutral professional. It would be an excellent chance for someone to observe your behaviour and dynamics of the relationship and from there come up with an appropriate strategy to dealing with this. But it does take time. People and relationships do not change over night.
I also think it may be time for you to move out. Is there a chance you can move to a uni campus next semester? I think it would be much healthier for both you and your mum to have some time apart and find yourselves as individuals. And for you to move onto the next chapter of your life. University isn't just about dgrees but its an atmosphere of personal growth and change. It helps us find who we are as independant people and guides us to the start of the rest of our adult lives. You will be in a healthy environment.
Your mother will most likely be thoroughly against this, it doesnt seem she ever wants to lose her grip on you. She may throw tantrums, become hysterical, make threats. But this is where you have to be brave. You need to understand that you are not leaving or abandoning her, or being a bad daughter for wanting to move on with your life. You will still be apart of eachothers lives and you can visit, keep in touch and she will also have your grandparents and other family members to support her. But this seems like something you have to do and as a mother she has to let you go out into the big bad world some time.
Both of these routes will take much strength and bravery on your part and you have to be ready for what omes with that. But you are facing an adult decision here therefore you need to face this situation as the adult you want your mother to see you as. Think it over and bear in mind al factors of this situation and what really is right for you. You've got tough decisions to make. These are the responsibilities of being an adult.
15/f
I started looking at, well I wouldn't nessicarially call it porn, but I guess you would. But I have been looking at "porn" since I was like 5....nothin ever happened...and its not a girl and guy, its 2 men...is it normal that I look at it at my age? Or am I like some weird girl pervert? I mean I have a whole collecton on my phone and computer and only my 2 friends that I know really really well and sister and brother know...and they have never told my parents...so was it normal of me to look at 2 men doing it when I was 5 and is it normal now?
P.s...this is probably in the wrong catogorie...
There is nothing wrong with this at all. Even seeing these things from a young age, while not necessarily appropriate to show a five year old, is normal. For a child that young there is no sexual element to it. It's simply curiosity, seeing two adults doing something that you've never seen before.
This curiosity has carried on - i'd epect even more so as you're going through puberty and starting to become aware of your sexuality - and there's nothing wrong with it. Whether homosexual intercourse arouses you or is something that you feel you want to be educated more about - or simply you dont know why you want to watch it - there's nothing abnormal about it.
So long as it doesn't put yourself or others at any disadvantage and you conduct yourself responsibly online then you haven;t anything to worry about.
Okay so I have to run a mile for cheerleading tryouts at the begining of august 2011. Right now I have about a 7:55 mile and I want to be able to run it and feel better at the end. I am NOT a long distance runner. I did track the last 3 years but I can't do it this year. I need things I can do that take like 5 miinuets to do everyday to improve my leg strenght and endurance. Any tips? I need somethings to help me be able to run a mile and not be so tired during or after. I don't have a lot of time after school because I have stuff to do after school till 6 then hw till like 8:30 and I can't go any where after that. Soooooo.........
•what are some conditioning things I can do to strengthen my legs?
•how can I get more endurance with out running everyday?
-------I have all star cheer eery wed. And sun. For like 3 hours and it's a big workout but I need some more things to do.
• what are some things I can do so a mile is easier to run for me?
Sorry this is so long. Lol :) thanks soooo much though!!!!
:))))
To be honest the solution is pretty simple. Practice makes perfect. Work on doing maybe ten minutes and building the time up everyday until you can do half an hour of non stop running. By that time you should have a fairly decent level of fitness that you can start judging your running distance wise.
See how far you can run after building up your fitness and everyday for like five days a week try to go that little bit further. Keep setting smaller but realistic targets for yourself to reach and in no time you'll be able to run a mile and further if you wanted.
But running takes regular practice. You cant cheat your way into being able to run a mile. Do your stretches before and after, keep yourself well hydrated and you should be absolutely fine. I also find doing muscular workouts beforehand such as 8 minute abs, legs and glutes which is a great warm up, toner and releases great bursts of energy.
What i want is a serious relationship. And i just really want to get over my ex :(
Where i am now does not help, and this place will not help me change. People are fucked up here and will not help me. So i do not want any physical things going on between me or anyone. I really do want to change. And who knows, maybe in a year or so my ex will realize that i have changed, or someone even better will come along...
Its all part of growing up. Its never easy to get over someone that was really important to you that you had an emotional attatchment to but chances are you're gonna go through a few more before finding the right person for you. You just have to let it happen naturally and stop forcing it. The whole point of dating is getting to know all different kinds of people and enjoying yourself. When you find someone who wants what you want and someone you care for then it will happen for you. Its all about experience and trial and error. It doesnt all have to be bad. Try to make the best of a bad situation.
17/f
I'm not pregnant, but I've always wondered about this. Where do people even get abortions?? At the nearby clinic? Anywhere? Hospital? Because when I think about it, I feel like clinic isn't the best way to go because I think of them as... Just general doctors, not doctors that give you abortion pills.
Its probably different in different cities and countries. Here in the UK you go to your GP who will refer you to the appropriate person. Depending how far along you are you either go to hospital or a specialist surgery for a minor procedure to taking the pill which the doctor fully explains in terms of both what to expect once the pill has been taken and afterwards.
There are different procedures for different stages of the pregnancy within the time frame of abortion that the law specifies. So pretty much either a hospital or a specialist surgery.
You're right :( But its just that he used to really love me and this relationship just ended all of a sudden, for no reason. Even though ive done many mistakes through out this relationship he forgave me and we were great. Then he just suddenly lost interest. :/ But anyhow Thank youu! :) I have another question... About someone else. Right now i moved from the place i lived in, so im trying to move on, even though im going back in the summer. So there is this guy here that doesnt like relationships but only likes making out. He thinks im pretty and all but he doesnt like relationships. But i dont just like making out. I want something serious. But he doesnt care at the moment whether i want him or not. Cause im like new and he can find anyone else, plus we do not know each other well. So what should i do in this case?
Its more female that want to be in relationships and settle down. He's young and single. He has his whole life to settle down and right now he doesnt want to be tied down to one person. He wants the freedom and the options that being sigle provides. You have to respect that. Can you handle only being in a casual relationship? If you can then thats great but if you dont feel that you can be with him without anything serious then maybe its time to find someone who wants what you do.
so i have always had ur average teenage girls eatign disorder and htinkign im fat (not that that is a good thing) but recently i lost a lot of weight due to eating little to none (yes i know its not good) and i know i need major help with that but that is not why im posting here.
i have issues with my judging and caring about my friends and THEIR food. like if my friend lies to me or leaves out something she eat i think its so weird when really WHO CARES its no my problem and i dont like to tell my friends when i do eat because i want them to hink im skiiny. its so weird. and its so weird that i even care what my friends eat.
YES I KNOW I HAVE A EATIGN DISORDER
but i want help with the whole judging my friedns and what not issue.....
what do you think?
First of all you dont have an eating disorder. ED's on the whole do not focus on being thin and attractive. They much more complicated than that. They are mental health disorders where starvation, purging, excessive exercise etc are used as coping mechanisms, punishments or control. Most of the time eating disorders stem from other psychological problems. Its not just about being malnourished. Eating disorders affect the mind first and foremost.
You sound as if youre insecure about the way you look and are projecting your issues of food onto your friends. Its time to stop judging your friends and instead start confronting your own issues. You need to learn about healthy diets and nutrition as well as proper exercise, basic biology and learning to improve how you view yourself. You need to deal with your insecurities "heed oan."
I already told him how i felt. But he said he just didn't want to date anymore. That's why i want to make him love me again. I'm not saying ill do any tricks. What im trying to say is kind of like, what is a way that i can make him love me by just being me...? For example not flirt with others, stuff like that
You cant. He hasd made himself clear. Sometimes there are things we do to people that they simply cant forgive or it affects a relationship to the point where you can never have what you once did. He doesnt want to date you. You can grovel at his feet, you can hang out with him more, you can give him gifts and you can exhaust yourself in trying to convince him to take you back but after this amount of time, i seriously doubt the likelihood of him taking you back. Its your choice: you can either spend a lot of time and effort on someting that will most likely never happen, cause yourself more pain and him not wanting anything more to do with you, or you can deal with the situation and see if theres a possibility of you both being friends so you dont have to sway goodbye forever. But you cant make someone love you again if they dont want to.
I thinking about suicide even though I really want the help. My mother and her spouse is REALLY sleeping on this situation like what do I have to do to prove to them that I am not playing. Do I really have to commit suicide for them to get the picture that I am serious because before long its definitely going to happen and in the end they are going to think its there fault and I ma not going to be here to tell then that its not. . . please help!
How well have you expressed yourself in the past? Do your parents know how you feel, your current situations and problems? You cant expect them to react in the most appropriate manner if you dont give them the reality of the situation.
Your parents obviously dont see this as something that needs immediate action. They are probably either misinformed or think its a hormonal teenage phase or over dramatisation. I dont think they know the severity of the situation.
In order for them to help you you have to be honest with them. Sit them down and let them know from the beginning that you want to have a serious conversation with them and that you need for them to listen to what youre trying to tell them. Make them aware of your feelings, your pattern of thought, impulses and urges as well as anything else that may be a factor in this. Ask them to take you to the GP who can assess whether you should be referred to professional services or not.
You must be firm and insistent about this and people need all of the facts in order to better help you. They need to know that something really is wrong here and that youre genuinely reaching out for help. Even if they dont quite grasp the situation (and many parents dont) continue to encourage them to take you to speak to someone about this and get down to the bottom of things.
Even with all the knowledge out there today there are still severely under educated people on the subject of mental ill health. No one ever understands like a person experiencing it but they can understand to an extent so try to help them to do that. Your GP will be able to refer you to a professional - usually a psychiatrist - who can do an evaluation and discuss with you their thoughts and opinions as well as the best course of action to take.
Its an extremely positive sign that you are asking for help so hold onto that and get this sorted before it escalates.
"Analyze the ways in which various people viewed the character and condition of Greeks in the Ottoman Empire during the Greek movement for Independence in the eighteenth and early nineteenth centuries."
I'm terrible at DBQ's and I am at a loss of how I should categorize it..
Do I categorize the opinions and have paragraph be about how people viewed the Greeks as 'glorious', another about how people maybe viewed as 'weak' and stupid, and a third about.. I don't know, something? Or is that the completely wrong way to categorize for a DBQ?
Any help would be appreciated! Thanks(:
I have found a website which i think would be of more help than me rambling on: http://www.thecaveonline.com/APEH/dbqhowto.html
all i ate today was liek 2 handfull over sugar coated pecans.
is that bad?
Ofcourse its bad and you know it. There are other ways to get someones attention than resorting to irresponsible measures/statements. And if you genuinely want any sort of dietary or health advice then feel free to ask as there are many people here who are happy to advise you in the best possible way.
This may be long so bare with me... So last night while I was going to bed on time for school I just couldnt fall asleep so while I waslaying in bed I started to think( it's never good when I think a lot) I started to think of how much I miss the summer mainly how much I miss this boy and how happy I was and now I feel depressed I've been feeling depressed ever since we stopped talking and hanging out and I don't even know why we did we just stopped. And last night made me realize I want to be happy again but idont think I'll ever be because I'm so caught up with him. Like in my mind i just think about him constantly and it always makes me sad. I need to do something because this pain in my head/ heart isn't going away.. Trust me I gave it time I think to much to get over him. I think the reason I cant get over him because I've never had a boyfriend and he kinda treated me like I was his girlfriend in the summer but we weren't official he never officially told me he liked me. Well anyways I'm te person who keeps things to myself so it's hard to be open. If the only way is telling him I can only do it through text because I barely see him. But anyways help I'm to a new low I can't sleep. It's been to long what should I do?
I think we call all identify with this situation. How is it that you barely see him? Maybe instead of starting with romance you just start with seeing him a little more. Give him a call and see when he's free to get togeather and do something. make more of an effort to see eachother which will ease the pain youre dealing with. You gotta work at having people in your life sometimes. Take the first step and see how your relationship progresses. Go from there.
Look i know i was wrong for cheating on him and all. But karma got me bk in a way.. and i still love him. Even though he is over me.. i even took 20 pills and i really suffered. Ive changed! i know i have. its been 6 months since we've been broken up.. and ive only seen him like 5 times or so.. =/
But i still love him and i want him back! i just wanna know how i can get him bk. Basically how can i make him love me again. Or make him fall in love with me again.. this girl tht he fell for at first. But i dnno how i can do that if we barely see each other. and should i be sweet? a have no idea =/ im lost..
You cant make anyone fall in love with you and neither you shouldnt. The only thing you can do is be open and honest with him; no more deceit or games. Tell him how you feel and the potential of having a relationship with him again. Hes not going to appreciate any tricks. just be straight with him. Whether he accept you back or not is entirely upto him.
I am a 13 year old girl, and I have a lot of hair in a certain area "down there." It's very long, coarse and bushy and it makes me feel disgusting all day. I don't want to shave it because it'll come back twice as fast, but it always makes me uncomfortable and sometimes even itchy! What should I do?
You can trim it regularly but if you want it completely removed then your best bets are hair removal cream or waxing. Shaving it convenient but even if you use ph balanced, perfume-free shaving cream, an extra sharp and clean razor and shave correctly, you'll still be left with an extent of razor burn, as well as it growing back faster and thicker as you've previously stated.
Hair removal cream is rather effective and the growth rate is about the same as shaving as both methods dont remove the root but the cream leaves a smooth surface. The down side is that it's only appropriate for the bikini line.
It you want it all gone, smooth surface and not a hair in sight then your best option is waxing which you have to do less frequently than the other methods of hair removal. If you can endure the pain then it's worth it.
The only permenant solution is expensive laser hair removal.
My best friend and I have been friends for a really long time and she met her fiancee through me, he was a friend of mine. Recently I moved into an apartment in their building and we have been together a lot more and I've seen a different side to her and I don't know what to do now that its pulling us apart. When ever they fight she throws me in the middle, they both call me their mediator, and she comes to me for advice. I told them I would give them my advice but I wanted to hear both sides to each argument everytime and it has always been that way.
Until last night.. We were playing a card game, she was on a team with her fiancee and I was on a team with another friend. Me and the other friend were winning and her fiancee wouldn't listen to her on how to 're-arrange' their cards eventhough she told him that would make them win. She ended up freaking out over this and when I tried to calm her down she pushed passed me yelling at me "dont *bleeping* touch me!", slammed my front door and locked her self in her apartment. Her fiancee and the other friend helped me clean my apartment up and then her fiancee went and slept over at the other friends apartment (above theirs, below mine) to let her cool down.
I work very early in the morning and I turn my phone off at night. She doesnt work.. Apparently, though, in the middle of the night she decided she wanted to talk to me. I got a million missed calls and texts from her, blaming me for everything- she went walking off down the highway and left a voice mail telling me that if something happened to her I knew why- she was saying that I am never their for her (when I always am, even coming to her apt at 2am on a work night because her ferret passed away and then coming home the fallowing day to bring her other two ferrets stuff to keep them from getting depressed, I have never ditched her when she has ditched me, I have always believed and trusted her when she has stopped talking to me over rumors and lies etc, etc, etc) but, unlike her, I work and I work early in the morning so I cant be talking and on the phone all night long and aparently that makes me a bad person.
When I got her messages that told me that 'i always take his side' that she was 'walking down the highway with nowhere to go' and im 'not a true best friend' and telling me that if something happened to her it was my fault---- it broke my heart. I freaked out and called her fiancee to make sure he found her, he said he had found her and brought her home but she is still being really immature. She broke all his CD's (most of which werent even his, they were his friends) and she dented in the side of his car door.. with something, though he isnt sure what. She knows that I always look at everything openly and I didnt have an opportunity to talk to her face to face yet she is still freaking and saying were not really friends and I dont care about her. I told her she can say that all she wants but I love her and I am not going to give up that easily (her fiancee said the same thing when she said that they're no longer together) but she ignored him and texted me saying that im not her friend because her fiancee said that im his friend and I cant be both their friends. She isnt even making sence anymore- I dont know what to do. People say "forget her, she is acting like a child" but we have been though so much together.. I dont want to loose her now- How can I make her see how she is acting with out hurting her?
I could go through many varying techniques and examples, i could delve into your relationship with her, her relationship with her partner, her mood swings etc but in the end i don't think that would necessarily help. I think the answer is quite simple here.
There is no way of telling her this without it hurting her feelings and from how it sounds she's going to take it badly if you dont approach the subject the right way. Should you start criticising her - or seem in any way threatening - then she will push right back and begin her strops, tantrums and aggressive behaviours.
You gotta treat her like a best friend and what is it that best friends do best? They're so close that they can tell eachother everything. Friendship is a two way street and make this point before anything else that you need her to listen to you and understand you in the way that you have done many a time before.
Now comes the best friend part. You know her so well and you know how to speak to your best friend. Say it from the heart. Let her knnow that shes gotta stand on her own two feet and learn how to resolve her own problems; she's got to know how to be in an adult relationship that shouldnt be putting you in the middle of arguments; she should realise that youre there for her but she cant completely depend on you. She needs to find herself as an adult and an individual person, and just like the rest of us, shes gotta learn how to deal with problems and situations on her own.
You are not taking your support and guidance from her: on the contrary, youre helping her be the adult she should have grown to be too long ago. You can be there for her without acting like her mother and without her acting like a teenager.
Youre one of the few people who really know her and how to talk to her so use that knowledge and communicate with her the way that you know how.
Even if she does get angry at you, give her time. She needs to realise this and since its affecting your life, you gotta talk to her. Who can you talk to if not your best friend?
Thinking about the answers people gave me on my previous question, I'm thinking about asking my therapist to send me to a mental hospital. Does anyone know anything about them? And do you think it would help me?
All phychiatric hospitals vary but the reasons for them are the same. They are primarily there for people with moderate-plus psychiatric illnesses that NEED round the clock psychiatric care and observation. These needs vary but the common denominator is the escalation of one's psychiatric illness to the extent that the patient has very little to no control over their mental state.
The other reason why one would be offered a place as an inpatient is for respite. This is generally short term. It takes the patient out of everyday life and gives them time to rest, do some intense therapy and re-learn many things. It takes a good amount of responsibility from them to lighten the load for a short while and teaches them how to better help themselves when they leave to go back into society.
All hospitals will have a hierarchy of professionals who govern patient care and will also run worksops such as distress tolerance, anger management, social skills etc as well as encouraging positive and productive activities that engage a patient, has the potential of sparking a passsion for the activity and also proves to be a good distraction technique.
There are also daily routines, medications, one to one sessions and a lot of personal hardship.
However, it all depends on the hospital, the kind of services it offers, whether its an adult, adolescent or a childrens hospital. Only by knowing the details can you get a particularly detailed picture.
Whether you need it or not is another story. Like prison, the longer you're in there the harder it is to integrate a person back into society. The aim is not long term unless necessary; only to treat whatever needs immediate attention and then move one to an outpatient or a day patient, or perhaps another unit better suited to one's needs.Being an inpatient should really only be looked upon as a last resort. Being out in the real world and learning to deal with one's problems in the most normal environment as possible is every genuine professionals preferance.
Ofcourse you get establishments that are private which demand a lot of money for treating the most minor mental ailments. You find many celebrities in both past and present have had anxiety difficulties or simply need a break and will check into a psychiatric unit. These places are not for the mentally disturbed, people with severe psychiatric problems.
It's important to see psychiatric hospitals for what they really are and find something suited to your needs. If your therapist thought you needed such intense care then it would have been presented to you as an option, and if your mental state was considerably severe then i think by US law, a parent can force psychiatric help upon you.
Instead of asking for a referral to an inpatient hospital, bring the subject up with your therapist of potentially taking your therapy futher. There are still many centres and units depending on a persons mental problems from day units and groups to centres specifically targeted toward people with psychiatric difficulty that need respite. Discuss with your therapist your current mental health state and your options. Ask your therapist for their opinion and hear what they have to say.
People get different things from different help. I personally avoided a major depressive illness because of forced inpatient care which im appreciative of yet the day services made me digress more than anything whereas others could say the exact opposite. Your care needs to be tailored to your needs.
I killed my baby - now i can't live with the guilt. I don't know what to do.I am angry at the father for not caring and so I harass him as much as possible. My therapist says I need to let it go but I can't. Help me! How do I move on?
You can only move on when you stop with the negativity. Stop blaming yourself, your circumstances and the father. You cant move on until you come to terms with what has happened and accept that it did. You need to want to move on yet it seems you are intent on making yourself feel worse by being passive aggressive.
Confront your feelings, thoughts and emotions; deal with what you're going through: scream, cry, lash out (at things - not people), whatever it takes to get all of this out of you. Go through the grieving process and then deal with what youve gone through.
If youre talking about abortion - which im assuming you are - then you've most likely done it for logical reasons: such decisions are seldom done lightly. Once you have dealt with the emotional aspects of the situation you can start looking at the reality for what it really is. Theres a REASON why you gave the baby up.
Even so, there are different methods of abortion and time frames as well as limitations by law for a good reason. And the earlier you had it aborted the less it was a baby. Likely to be only a stem cell to the growth of major organs. Dont look at this so much as killing a baby, rather you've stopped the process of it growing into one.
Whatever way you choose to look at things or whatever you do, only you can make the decision and put in the effort necessary to move past this emotional trauma.
I am tired of having to chew gum all the time, or mints and all that stuff, it works yes, but it isn't attractive having a wad of gum in your mouth or having to pop a mint every couple minutes...HELP
The trick to fresh breath is oral hygiene. Make sure you thoroughly brush your teeth, floss, mouthwash. Also lightly brush your tongue. Many people neglerct to do so and this is a leading cause of bad breath as bacteria builds up on the tongue which is further exacerbated by a poor diet. So keep everything clean twice a day and you shouldnt have any problems!
my boyfriends daughter is now sick and my kids are not i also got sick after she was back with us after a few days and he says i blame everything on his daughter why does he say this to me he does it quite often?
Perhaps he feels guilty about his daughter passing her sickness onto you and feels he needs to defend her as he could possibly think you view her as a problem or he source of stress and upset in the family right now. Or even this is larger than that and he feels his daughter is somehow excluded from everyone else.
Futhermore, it could be a classic case of transference where he feels rejected or outwith the family dynamic and is transferring this to his daughter which he can then, as a father, seek to protect her from whatever negative thing he thinks you feel towards her and therefore to him.
Whatever the case may be you're not going to find out without talking to him. Look at your family picture. Is it possible that you could be harbouring indifference towards his daughter or himself or even, conciously or not, be favouring your kids over his?
Talk to your partner and ask him simply and upfront why he thinks you have some sort of grudge against his daughter. Hes your partner; especially when kids are involved you both need to communicate and do so in an appropriate manner. Being passive aggressive only addds to problems.
thanks :D
well i was with a guy from 2 years and 3 months. he left to the Dominican republic and he cheeted on me there. the whole cause of this was because he saw a picture of me and a guy holding hands. but while that happened me and him were at a break. then he came back from Dominican republic and came to me saying he wanted to be with me. at that time he had a girl friend in the Dominican republic. he went back and he did the same thing. now he is back and he has a girlfriend over there! which i know he likes her. it hurts me because i love him. he tells me that if i treat him right he is going to stay with me. am so confused because i really love him. i need help :(
This person clearly doesnt respect you and i can tell you now that he doesn't really love you.
Instead of coming to you about the picture he acted out of spite and self gratification. Even then, you holding hands with another guy doesnt mean anything, he didn't even try to understand the situation; none of this condones cheating whatsoever. If you both were on a break then maybe its understandable he was with someone else for the duration.
However, he comes back to you telling you he wants you and cheats on you. If he was serious about making the relationship work then he would have left the girl in the Dominican and tried to make amends with you, something he never did.
Not only is he still with her but he's stringing you along and emotionally hurting you in the process. Let's face it: he has no intention of committing himself to you, he has shown no real growth neither has he made an effort to fix your relationship.
Your feelings for him are stopping you from seeing the reality of the situation infront of you. You dont need me telling you all of this because deep down you know it already. This is one of those instances where you need to look beyond your emotions. You're better than this and there are many guys out there who would treat you with the respect that you deserve.
I'd strongly recommend ridding yourself of him, start the grieving process and then move on with your life.