MoonFisher's advice column

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Q: Well my friend ~B~ was acting really weird today! I mean something is wrong with him!! He didn't give me a hug didn't say hay or nething! I tried to talk to him about what was wrong but he just drove off! My other friend ~K~ said it might be bcuz his stepmom and his dad are gitting back together. But I don't know. Well My Q is how can I figure this out and help him cope w/whatever it is? I tried calling him and everything! Please help!

When something this difficult is happening in someone's life, it's often best to just be patient. Men are not as prone to talking about their fears, problems, and apprehensions as women are. He is, most likely, just going through a really tough time. The best thing you can do is not get all butthurt over his current attitude, be there for him, and listen openly when and if he ever does want to talk to you about it. Once it gets better, he will be morel ike his old self again, and he'll appreciate you being patient, forgiving, and not prying.

Q: what is the best thing to put on cuts and sratches to make the marks go away? thanx

Cocoa butter helps eliminate scarring. You also need to stay out of the sun while wounds are healing. If you must expose yourself to much sunlight, keep the wound covered with a bandage to prevent scarring.

Q: a friend of mine wants her nose pierced... which side do you pierce if you r straight??!?!? she has her eyebrown pierced on the left... so wht does she do?!?!?!??!?!

There is no gay or straight side. That's ridiculous. If there ever was, it's outdated now. I am straight and married. I pierced the right side because I have a little dark freckle on the left side and jewelry there would make my nose look too busy on that side. Just pick the side you think looks cutest, like if you part your hair on the left, then pierce the left so it shows more.

Q: i want to pierce my cartilage by myself. how should i do it? is this a good idea? n if not how much would it cost at a professional place? thankz

Not a good idea, but you also don't want to go somewhere where they will use a gun. Imagine punching a hole in hard rubber. The rubber would tear and stick out in chunks all around the hole, right? That's what happens to your cartilidge when you use a piercing gun. I recommend going to a real tattoo/piercing shop and having it done by hand with a needle by a professional, which would runyou about $40. If you are determined to go it cheap, please sterilize the needle well. Heat it, then completely submerge it in rubbing alcohol OR boil it for 10 minutes. My piercer, Brenda, is just awesome and she says that she would rather see kids do it themselves than let Walmart use a piercing gun on them because of the tissue damage. After piercing it and getting the jewelry in, gently massage the tissue around it for about 5-10 second with clean hands to help the tissues get back into place. Treat it with saline solution or water with sea-salt. Do not use harsh chemicals. Soak it in warm sea salt or saline at least twice a day by soaking a paper towel in the warm solution and wrapping it around the piercing and leaving it there for several minutes. You are best off using a captured-bead hoop as it is easiest to clean. Good luck.

Q: Do u use an eyelash curler on your bottom eyelashes ? I dont think u do but my friend says ur supposed to.

You don't need to. That's silly. You can barely even get to those little ones. Actually, you don't even need to use them on the top ones, as they can pull out your lashes and make the makeup gunk up. I recommend using a conditioner on your lashes and using an upward and outward motion to move your lashes up. Then apply mascara. I think Mary Kay carries a good eyelash conditioner, but you may be able to find it at the drug store. Every professional I have ever watched did NOT use a curler at all.

Q: ok i like kind of jst started wearing tampons...n the 1st couples time that i have changed it didn't hert...but know it's starting to her...i don't know wat but it is...i wear lights so it want hert so bad when i pull em out but it does....is the a reason y it herts

Often times they hurt if you are very dry. I recommend only using them if you need to do sporting events or go swimming. You may want to try OB applicator free tampons. You put them in with your finger, they are MUCH smaller than other tampons, and that way you can put them in a comfortable place in your body. Good luck and stay healthy!

Q: My nana gave me a real gold and pearl necklace for my 17th birthday. I was wondering is it safe to wear it in the shower or will ir ruin the pearls??

The pearls came from water-dwelling creatures, so probably not, but think what would happen if it breaks in the shower! All those beautiful pearls down the drain!!

Q: i just wanted to say that i liked your layout. that's all. ya i know. RANDOM! haha

Thank you very much!

Q: i have homecoming in a while do any of you know any good sites for good/not so expensive CUTE dresses shoes accesories thanks.

http://www.shopshop.com/?id=googleshopprom

Q: my voice maked me uncomfterable because im a girl with an incridably low voice, like whenever i talk to a guy, they always ask if i have a cold and some people make fun of me because of my voice. i just wanna know a way that maybe my voice can sound a litlle higher.plz!!!!

Low voices can be sexy when you become an older woman. Try keeping your voice low and just concentrate on making it softer, like a phone sex operator, lol. Our voices are pretty much hereditary or genetic, so you can't really make it higher. Just smile when you talk and try to keep it from being raspy. As for the people who make fun of you, try a great comeback, like, "My voice may be low, but your boyfriend sure came fast when we had phone sex last night." Not really, but you DO need to learn to laugh off these jackasses, or just punch them in the face, whatever you are more comfortable with. Don't let people put you down. In the real, adult world, you could file charges against a co-worker for that crap.

Q: hey

i really want to become a vegetarian, but i dont know the right way to do it. i dont wanna be a vegan because i love milk and cheese wayy too much. but is just not eating meats the right way to do it so i'll still be healthy? i'll still eat eggs and stuff, but if i just dont eat meats will i be okay? any vegetarians here would be greatly apprecied!

-i rate-

Soy, soy, soy. You need to eat soy products, nuts, and beans to get your protein. I know that soy sounds nasty, but it can be very good if you cook it right or buy the right products. I recommend 8th continent vanilla soy milk for lots of flavor, protein, and no saturated fat. Silk brand chocolate is great, too! I pour the vanilla over my cereal. You can buy a lot of soy fake-meat products, but I think emulating meat defeats the purpose of not eating meat for moral reasons, if that's why you're doing it. Instead of eating dead things, we'll just pretend to...what? There are a lot of good beans and legumes you can make into soups. Try going to google.com and typing in Vegetarian recipes and see if you can find any good stuff. Protein is important, but remember, only 10% of your diet needs to be from protein, so don't overdo it!

Q: I just don't know what to do anymore. I feel so left out of everything. Let me explain... I feel like I have no real friends. I never get invited anywhere and no guys like me. The few times I hang out with my friends and there's guys around I'm acting exactly like them.. really outgoing and happy and hyper and all that stuff.. and of course the guys like my friends. They're considered "hot" and I'm not. Anyway, I never have plans on the weekend or after school and if I try to make plans people think I'm pushy. And I can't make new friends because there's nobody else to become friends with that aren't drinkers or smokers or that kind of stuff. I can't talk to them either because they wouldn't understand and then we would just get in a huge fight and they would blame it all on me. Nobody ever IMs me when I'm online or if I IM them they never keep the conversation going. What I'm asking is is there anything I can do to change that and to maybe make myself a little prettier ((make-up wise)) so maybe some guys will like me? I know I sound conceited but if one guy liked me then it would be great. I've never been kissed and I want more than anything to get a boyfriend and be kissed and also have some true friends. I will rate for good advice! Please help me!

((I also got so sad, mad, and depressed that I cut myself.. but this was half a year ago or more and I've been tempted to do it again and I almost did about a week ago but the razor wouldn't cut my skin after I was trying for about 5 minutes so I just quit. Please don't say anything about cutting being stupid because I know that it is and I won't do it again. Things in my life are hectic right now.))

And also I don't get along with my family very well they just don't understand me.

I'm going more and more away from my faith and I feel like I'm falling deeper into sin.

Please help I'll rate.

I know this may sound like garbage now, but take it from someone who has been in the emotional neighborhood that you're in now. I always thought I was fat, ugly, nobody liked me, etc, in high school. I am tall (5'10") and athletic, the drum major of the band, the captain of the tennis team, loud, intelligent, outspoken and organizing sit-ins, petitions, and protests all the time. Almost all my friends were boys and they all wanted me to hook them up with my few "hot" girlfriends. Let me tell you what the problem was: They're High School boys. They want ditzy, empty headed little waifs who will act silly and frivolous. You are too much of a woman for them right now. My advice is to remain friends with all these young men and watch what happens after you graduate. My husband, who treats me like a queen, was one of my guy friends in High School. We met at the age of 16 in the chess club. (say NERD!) If you desperately want a man, I suggest finding a MAN. Look around at the 18-19 year old post graduate crowd in your town for someone who will appreciate an outspoken, assertive woman. If you want makeup advice, then message me with some info and we can get in touch over IM or something. I need to see a pic of you to help you out, but I'm good, sister. My mommy was an Avon and a Mary Kay beauty consultant. I know my shit! Take care.

Q: its my friends birthday on sunday.. n im going to her party saturday to sunday.. i have no idea what to get her!! shes a punk girl who likes soccer.. so if u could give me ideas thatd b great!! i'll rate u!!

If she likes punk stuff and there's a hot topic nearby, that's always a sure bet. You could get some cool stickers and cover a soccer ball with them. If you had more time, I would tell you to buy her a soccer shirt with the name of her favorite band on the back... most T-Shirt stores and sporting stores can special make things like that, so keep that in mind maybe for xmas. You can never go wrong with a gift certificate, either, so she can get something she likes.

Q: Ok I know this may sound wierd and all but the other day I was searching around in my parents room and i found strange things like handcuffs, whips, and wierd looking masks. I remember watching something on television about this sort of thing but im not sure if its really happening with my parents. Can somebody tell me what i should look out for.

I think you should look out for yourself and stop snooping on your parents. I know it's very, very weird and you're going to be all freaked out by finding something like this, but it's really not that weird or abnormal. Your parents have sex, that's where you came from. They have very kinky sex. If that weirds you out, just block it from your mind and move on. It's their business. Would you want them to wonder exactly HOW you made out with your boyfriend, all the details. Of course not, it's private. If you have cool parents, and it really is bothering you, maybe you can ask one of them about it. You never know, those things might just be gag gifts from a raunchy office party.

Q: just as an update... i got my period today :-D which was realllllly great. so i'm happy about that... from now on if me and my boyfriend decide to keep doing that we are definately going to use a condom. thanks so much for your advice.

Hey, no problem! Take care.

Q: Hey i've ben straightening my hair for about 2 years and i just feel like blowdryin it straight wut is the best way to blow dry it straight and make it not look so puffy? THANK YOU!!! * i rate *

You would need a professional straightener. They are available at your local salon supply store, maybe at a large salon. DON'T BUY ANYTHING FROM WALMART! or anyplace like that, most of their products are crummy, put too much build-up in your hair, and test on animals. Good luck! :)

Q: Lets see If I can put this into Words... I kinda want to break up with my b/f, but I dont have a reason to do it... I also want to talk to my Ex. But I cant get myself to message him or call him and its been almost 2 months since we talked... and I dont know if he would talk to or not... thats if for now... tnkz Bye

You need to figure out WHY you want to break up with your current boyfriend. Just dumping him without a concrete reason can be very damaging to his ego. Are you sure you aren't doing this on the hope that you can hook back up with your ex? If you are truly not happy, then by all means break up with the guy and just tell him you are unhappy, but don't do something you might regret just because you are still on the rebound from your ex. You might be happier if you forget about the ex and give the current guy a chance.

Q: so i like this guy. he likes me too, but hes concerned about the age difference and he wouldnt want my parents pressing charges on him, i know its illegal if we have sex, but i dont plan on it. hes 18 and ill be 15 in a month. i have talked to my parents and they both have no problem with him. i see where he is coming from but, when we are together we make out and stuff and it makes me want to be more than "friends with benefits".

so my question is should i pursue it and be like screw what my parents say if they ever found a reason to not like him? thanks in advance.

You can pursue a relationship with him, but I would be cautious about making it sexual. You don't want to get your friend in trouble! Only you know your parents well enough to gauge whether or not they will ever flip on you or him. If you do decide to take the relationship to a sexual level, you need to be extremely cautious not to get pregnant or ill, as that could be used to incriminate him. It sounds like you already talked this over with your parents, which is very good. Just do your best to keep your parents from developing negative opinions of him.

Q: ok i injured my elbow badly a few days ago. im not sure whats wrong. my arm was purple and freezing a few minutes ago, so i moved it (it hurt really bad) but i got circulation back in it. theres a deepish cut on my elbow from my fall and it was scabbed. the scab fell off so i put bactine on it. i dunno whats wrong. i looked up some of my symptoms (tingling arm, tight feeling, etc.)n it said it could be nerve damage. like whenever i turn my elbow it cracks but the other doesnt. it hurts so bad to move it. i dont know what to do right now im scared. tomorrow is school but im not sure if i need to go to the doctor. please help me out. if you need any other info i'll add it in the additional info thing. thank u soo much

It sounds to me like you may have dislocated the joint or fractured somthing. Sometimes you can have a fracture, not a break, and the joint will still move normally, but hurt like hell. You really need to go see a doctor. I wouldn't wait. The purple colour makes me worry, as well. You have a cut and the colour may be infectious inflammation, which bactine will not help at this point. You may need antibiotics. I don't want ot scare you, but I work in nursing and I insist you seek medical attention immediately.

Q: ok you answered my question about split ends and thanks but yea u said dont brush hair while its wet? uhh i always do that..doesnt everyone do it? i mean how else am i gonna get the knots out thanx!

No, everyone does not. My hair stylists told me not to. Brush your hair thoroughly BEFORE washing it and use a good conditioner. Let it air dry, then brush it out. Believe me, it's a pain in the rump, but once I started doing this, my breakage almost stopped completely.