Member Since: August 7, 2012
Answers: 1038
Last Update: August 2, 2021
Visitors: 29619
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My boyfriend recently messed up and hurt me very badly. He sent me this song saying, "I know you may not want to think about me right now, but hopefully you'll like this song and it'll make you feel a little better". If anyone could help me with the song meaning or find it somewhere online that would be awesome, thanks
All the same - by does it offend you, yeah?
http://www.songmeanings.net/songs/view/3530822107858867219/ (link)
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You know your song message. I'd never advocate staying with a partner who deliberately hurts you repeatedly. But we all make mistakes. Good luck and use the time listening to take a good look at the rest of the relationship, aside from his mess-up moment. xx
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My car has pulled hard to the right for at least a 2 months but since I'm planning a big trip soon I want to solve this problem if I can without spending over 2-3 hundred bucks since the car is a 91. I even noticed the wheel shakes when I take my hands off it. Thank you (link)
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Has it pulled since you had it, or was ok and it's just started? If it's just started you might have bashed a kerb or something and knocked the tracking/geometry out. A cheap adjustment might fix it, but it needs the garage gear to measure steering geometry. Take it to a garage anyway at least so they can take a look before lots of motoring. Something could well have broken or even fell off and the car could be a death-trap waiting to happen. It's easy to put up with faults when you're just popping around town shopping and stuff, but on a big trip it's a bit different. If it really bottoms-out on bumps too have a look at how the car 'sits' looking at it from the front. If it leans a bit to the side it pulls to you might have broken the spring? I broke a front spring once. You'd think it'd be obvious, and the car would sort of collapse on that corner But the broken bits can stay in place, just work crap. Either way 230K is a big mileage, and everything's go to be very tired and past it's best. They don't last forever mate. But get a mechanic to look it over for SURE before you go on a big trip, and listen to what he says.
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I do and dont want to have oral sex with my boyfriend but im scared! the reasons i dont want to is because im afraid he wont like it or think i smell or something. But then again hes the one encouraging it and asking me if im comfortable doing it. Is it okay to do that with him? what can i do to calm my nerves? will i like it? will he like it?
Oh and im 15 and my boyfriend is 16 (link)
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Lots of girls worry about vaginal odour when it comes to receiving oral sex from their boyfriends. Just make sure you're nice and fresh and clean, don't use scented body sprays or deodorants. Not necessary at all. Then stop worrying, lay back and ENJOY it! If your worried about the natural scent of your juices, forget it. Most blokes are NOT put off by that, exactly the opposite in fact. If he's initiating it, all the better. He must be one of the 'most guys'. If he takes plenty of time over you and you kind of 'point' him at just the right spots I'm fairly confident in saying yes, you WILL like it...a lot! As for nerves, well there's nothing to be nervous about really. There's no chance of pregnancy of course, nothing to 'go wrong' at all in fact. It can go on as long as you're both happy with too, unlike sex which of course is all over really when your boyfriend comes. As for him enjoying it...well, I absolutely LOVE doing it. The pleasure for a guy I suppose is knowing that he's making YOU feel pretty special. So take the opportunity to let him know he is. It should add a lot to your relationship. So definitley 'OK to do' all round. Have fun...and stop worrying!
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19/f
New York
First of all thank you for taking the time to read this. I almost vision myself being famous. I want to use the money I'm famous with and help other unfortunate people. I just feel in life all I want to do is help people, i'm not so sure a school counselor is going to cut it. I can't really sing well, and I have never taken dance lessons but I obviously can dance. I don't know if this is just a hopeless dream of mine, but for some reason I just see myself famous. It's just I don't know what for. NOT to boast, but i'm small (4'11") and I have a unique cute face. But you don't become famous for being cute and having a great personality do you? I am popular around my towns, just not NICKI MINAJ or like DRAKE. I live in New York so I wonder if Webster Hall would have any opportunites for me. If anyone has any ideas or anything i'd be sure willing to read a lot. (link)
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Your question is so open-ended I can't really give you a specific answer. But stay with me a minute and we'll have a chat about something that you might not be aware of and some might not want to admit. One sees girls in regular jobs who, given the touch of a professional make-up artist and studio lighting could look the equal of any model. There are amateur photographers out there whose technical skills, timing and composition are nothing short of brilliant. They could come back with any of the shots a pro does, and better. What does a TV chat show host actually do? What would you say were his or her actual talents? Couldn't many a so-so actor be an 'acting genius' if he was given the scripts a big name is given? There are endless examples, but let's stop and draw some sort of conclusions. If it's not actually anything to do with being 'the best', then what is the key to success? In most cases it's about marketing, or in other words SELLING YOURSELF. It's probable that the guy who made himself a successful photographer would have become a successful nightclub owner if that is what he'd set out to do. He'd find a niche and fill it. Weigh-up the opposition. Find an 'edge' for his own product or service, real or perceived. Find out what the paying punters want and give it to them. It's not, when it comes down to it much about what YOU want. The man that pays the piper gets to call the tune. That 'man' is your customer, your audience. Always been like that, always will be. I don't know what your target is...you don't yourself. So I'd suggest putting the cart in front of the horse, as it were. Find out what sells and make your face fit the frame. Good luck!
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I am a 13 yr old girl from australia. I was masturbating and i put an empty deoderent bottle in my vagina to give me pleasure and when i took it out there was blood on it i was so scared that i thought i lost my virginity please help me i dont wanna tell my dad anything. I dont know if it was my period or not but please help me i need advice (link)
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First answer's dead right mate. Sounds like you've popped your cherry, but don't get stressed about it. It can happen during physical stuff like sports, or maybe if a girl goes horse riding a lot. The blood does NOT mean you've damaged yourself in any way either. When you find your dream-guy he'll still be the one you properly lose your virginity with, so no worries about that. I really don't see why you need to tell your dad, or mum anything about it. It's sure they'll kind of know you'll be pleasuring yourself, they were 13 themselves once. But they won't want it 'in their face' if you see what I mean? And don't get any hang-ups either. Masturbating is perfectly natural for a healthy girl of your age. It'd be odd if you didn't! And well, you wanted to feel what it was like...the deodorant bottle was handy, eh? You're not the first and you certainly won't be the last there I can assure you! But don't use anything rough or with edges sweetheart or you could damage or irritate yourself down there, apart from it being pretty uncomfortable. Don't give it another thought, you're fine.
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Hi, im 12, almost 13, and I really want a new camera for Xmas, but I want to know exactly what kind to ask for. I want one that has great focus, is easy to use, has a really good zoom lense, and is just a really great camera. but, i have had past cameras that when you zoom in, the more you zooom in, the more blury it gets. i realize that this is normal, but i would love to be able to avoid it. i have seen cameras that you can zoom in to (example) the stage at a concert from the back row, and its still perfect (or still really good) quality. anybody have anything that would be good for me? links of where to get would be great. thank you!! :) (link)
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Hi there! Life-long lensman at your service...a half-decent zoom shouldn't go unsharp as you zoom in, the blur is probably camera shake. Zooming magnifies the image, but it magnifies shake. You might hold it steady at 1/30 second or so at the short end, but zoom up to 200mm or more and an experienced pro might only get 3 out of 10 shots sharp at 1/30 second. Think 1 over the length for shake free shots. 200mm = 1/200th second. Try and shoot at full aperture, focus accurately and use your ISO control to get the shutter speed up. There's a trade-off. Images are very clean and high quality at ISO 100 to ISO 400. 800 starts to get a bit noisy and there's a noticeable quality drop. And very high settings should be a 'get the shot at whatever cost' choice. If you're looking to shoot as a serious hobby, and maybe more you've really got to go for a DSLR. I've always used Nikon, but Canon are no less excellent. But once you've got a shed load of Nikon lenses, you need a good reason to change. Likewise for Canon men. Any new, or excellent used recent-model DSLR is capable of top quality images, no question. I think how the camera handles, or feels in your hand is the best way to choose, not reams of reviews and technical data. It should have as little 'lag' as possible when focussing. You need to know what settings you've got on and be able to change them fast if you want to get the shot. It should 'come up to your eye' well. The viewfinder is used more than those live-view LCD screens when you use an SLR. For image quality think LENS. The lens takes the picture. Now, the not so good news is that what you're planning to shoot is a big ask. Fast moving subjects in low (stage lighting is a TINY fraction as bright as daylight, however it might 'feel' in the hall) available-light need ISO's of 400 to 800 AND what's called a 'fast aperture' lens. That's the 'f' number. The lower the number, the faster the lens. Getting results would really need maybe a 50mm f1.4 or f1.8. The classic 'fast fifty'. But 50mm won't get you close. You'll need to be front row even at a small venue. In a big arena that won't be close enough. Now reasonably priced 'something to 200mm/300mm' zooms will have maximum apertures of around f5.6. Which will not let you run high shutter speeds in anything less than bright daylight. Fast tele-zooms like 80-200 f2.8 lenses are big, heavy and extremely expensive. On the plus side, they're optically superb, built like tanks and unless you drop them from a great height, last forever. And you'll never waste time or money looking at or buying different lenses in that focal length range. What you can do with the slower zooms is learn to see the 'dead-spots' that occur in all movement, learn to narrow the angle (things moving towards you appear to move less quickly than things passing left-to-right). Learn to get your timing (when to shoot) spot-on. In other words, using the slower lenses you learn lens-craft, learn to be a photographer! For fast-moving events, especially in lower light though that fast (2.8) tele-zoom or maybe a fixed 300mm f2.8 is eventually going to be the one you get if you stick with photography in a big way. Meanwhile...choose a DSLR, a reasonably priced telezoom and a fast-fifty and get out there! The 50mm 1.4 or 1.8 you'll NEVER outgrow and want to replace though. It'll probably be in your bag wherever you go. Good luck!
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mkay im a13yr old girl.i want a horse thats older and good with kids! but dad said no because we dont have the money! i dont know what to do i reaally want a horse (link)
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Feed, stabling and possible vets bills are probably what are making dad a bit wary of the costs, an older horse itself wouldn't be vastly expensive. Have you tried getting in touch with a local stables? Offer to swap your time doing jobs around the yard at the weekends in return for riding time. Friends might have or know someone who has a horse that fits your description. They might let you take over some of the care (and of course get some fun riding time in to!)but you'll have to prove you're responsible enough and up to the job. They won't trust their lovely animal to just anyone. Thinking longer term. Like we were saying, the horse itself isn't the expensive part. When you're older and working maybe dad might buy you one, as long as YOU meet the owning costs! Basically, putting yourself where you want to be, around horses at weekends and during school breaks will be fun and more likely to make the things we were chatting about happen. OK, yard-work is proper work,and it'll make you ache a bit. And it's cold in winter. The idea of doing it without proper wages might seem a bit of a 'no way' situation. But you get the fun of riding some nice animals without the cost of owning them. Good luck, and have fun! CJ-B
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What are some good items to masturbate with that are in-expensive im a 13yr female and i have been tolled that a cuccumber is perfect but i dont know please help! (link)
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Hi there. Ok, when you're feeling horny and curious it's quite natural to jump to the conclusion that masturbating with something that resembles a penis will feel much better. Natural, but most probably incorrect. It's more likely to feel uncomfortable, or even painful. So before you insert random penis-shaped household objects or vegetables inside yourself based on school gossip, bear with me a minute and I'll give you a real fact. The most sensitive area, the one that gives you all those hot 'feel good' sensations is pretty much OUTSIDE. Towards the top (below your tummy). Easily fingertip reachable, you don't have to go prodding about inside. So before you rush out searching for a likely looking cucumber, at least give it a couple of tries. We got a deal? Of course, it's your body and if you really want to go poking things inside it no one can stop you. But masturbating should be more about making yourself feel good and enjoying the sensation than just simulating sex with a substitute penis and hoping to hit the right spot. Best wishes...and give it some thought,eh?
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Am I the only one who thinks that being called stubborn is useless? The word is stupid anyway. If someone calls you stubborn because you're not agreeing or changing your view, aren't they doing the exact same by disagreeing with you and calling you stubborn? If someone calls someone stubborn, aren't they most likely equally stubborn? (link)
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In a way, the answer to your last question is 'yes'. It's the old attitude vs. perception problem. That is "I am determined and committed....you are stubborn". Like a double-edged sword, it cuts both ways. So we need another way to settle things. Clearly if you persist with an out-moded, flawed and demonstrably ineffective idea or act, purely because it is your own, it is stubborn. The real problem is recognising when this is the case, and admitting it. The only workable solution is negotiation and compromise in many cases. A couple of other reference points might be asking yourself 'if everyone followed my lead and took this as a code or rule, would it be generally a good thing, or a bad thing?' And secondly, 'how robust is my argument? How many challenges could it fight off?' Clearly if the answers are 'bad' and 'it would collapse at the first real challenge' then you must be stubborn for defending it. Positive answers? Defend it, certainly.
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They say that women are usually quick to judge others because they can read body language better. I do not know whether this is true or not and maybe I can use this to my advantage. (link)
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Absolutely true. The thing called 'womans intuition' is an example of genetic wiring, or programming. Women traditionally raise the young. A baby has, initially no linguistic capabilities at all. The mother is 'tuned' to read it's needs and emotions by observation. Can instantly see if the infant is in pain or need etc. By 'traditionally' I don't mean 100 years ago, I'm talking cave-men. So it's not voodoo, and a million years or so of evolution still exerts a very strong pull. Using it to advantage is a partly a matter of making observations and acting on them, before they are explicitly defined by language. Which will endow you with a sort of 'supernatural gift' to someone who is less aware of their existence. Men can be observant too. The whole race is wired to make a split-second decision when looking at the face of another human. The decision is 'Are you a friend...or foe? Will you hurt me or help me?' It's strong...our life could depend on it in the stone-age! The most powerful way of using body language yourself is to understand the visual signs that will (even if he's not aware of the fact himself) send him 'messages' and which he will (completely unconciously) react to. Now, you either deliberately force these 'signals' in yourself, or amplify/accentuate them. Do these two effectively and another psychological phenomenon comes to your assistance. 'Halo Effect'. You're proved correct, you appear unbelievably clever and intuitive time and time again. So you must be clever and correct about everything else, right?? Your halo appears. No one questions you. If knowledge is power...you're practically a goddess! This is why it's powerful. Now in best Karl Marx tradition, I've blown it all working against anyone who reads this. Bugger!
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So I've done a little reading but I'm not quite sure what a kegel is and how you do one. If could also tell me how they are suppose to make you tighter that'd be great :) thanks!
~I'm female btw (link)
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Kegel exercises are pelvic-floor muscle exercises. I believe the basic one is to first identify the right muscles. You're essentially after the ones you tense and relax when you have a pee. Try flexing them a bit. Now, imagine an elevator (stay with me, I'm serious!). Tense the muscle up slowly over a count of ten, as if you're making the elevator 'go up'. You should see exactly what I'm saying when you try it. Hold it tight at the 'top' as it were for a few seconds. Now slowly relax the muscle over a count of ten, as if you're making the elevator 'go down'. Repeat the whole thing several times, then stop. Doing it a couple of times a day is fine. Over time it improves muscle-control and condition. Which makes you tighter. When you have sex all these muscles come to the party, and they can also get a bit stretched when a woman gives birth. Some women find that sex doesn't feel as good for them or the partner following birth and use Kegels to get everything nice and tight again. Of course, it's not only for that. You can't do yourself any harm with Kegel exercises at any time. Think of it in the same way as any workout/fitness programme if you like. It shouldn't be the sort that makes you work-up a sweat though, it's a GENTLE exercise! And repeating it over time is the only way it works, doing it once won't make anything instantly tighter. Hope you find my reply of some use.
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What can we do to protect nature ? As far as you are concerned, what steps do you take to help protect the environment? What are they?
Are you ready to take action against pollution and to protect the environment ? How ? (link)
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I just know I shouldn't answer this, it's one I get too worked-up about personally. While industrialisation rapes the landscape on a monumental scale, destroying habitats what can an individual do? Only little things, and hope for a change while there's anything left to save. I'm living in the UK. It's winter. Plenty of food and water out, regularly. They get used to coming. I've got quite a few mature trees. I've no plans to get rid of any, and I've put some more in. They're small at the moment, but they'll grow. I always think that if you fell a mature tree you've done more damage than you can replace in your own lifetime. Many it seems, don't care. I've spent the last few years making a big area left of the house into a wildflower meadow. Got quite a lot of British wildflowers growing there. Ox-eye daises, foxgloves, evening primrose, and the like. Late spring and summer it's alive with bees and damsel flies and stuff. When it goes to seed the birds move in. Squirrels and hedghogs pop in, a fox or two. In the face of the damage done countrywide in the same period it's probably futile. Hope I might have given you some ideas or hope though? While anyone keeps trying maybe the battle isn't completely lost. Think it was Confucius who said "Better to light one candle than to rage against the dark." wasn't it? As for pollution...of the atmosphere? Hopeless cause! We'll burn oil until it's all gone. Then we'll have to completely change the way we live. The climate's changed before though I reckon. Some species will be lost forever, others will flourish. Interesting to think that man, at the top of the pyramid would be the LEAST significant loss though isn't it? Keep nature close my friend.
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13F, Okay so ive fingured my self and my friend had said to use a cucumber so i did it felt amazing and i was wondering if the proective layer inside my vigina would e gone? (link)
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Yeah, like the man said, you can't really 'lose your virginity' to a cucumber mate! Or any other vegetable for that matter! I believe some eastern religions attach a certain significance to 'bleeding' when they first have sex with their husbands...but here in the western world it's never an issue really. Since it felt good I've got to assume you'll do it some more. You might well pop your cherry if it's still intact now...but it doesn't really signify anything. I'll back it up. You're a virgin until you have intercourse. I'm not trying to spoil your fun, and cucumbers are an old favourite! But be a bit careful what else you're poking in there, eh? Very smooth and very clean items only please. You'll feel a bit sheepish trying to explain things to a doctor (or your mum!) if you irritate or graze yourself down there and it gets sore. A spot of lubricant wouldn't be a bad idea either, in case you get a bit carried away!
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21 year old female. Ive gone through severe depression, to mild, to severe anxiety, to mild, but one thing over the years has gotten terrible and is having a huge effect on me this year. My self-esteem and confidence. It's so bad, i really don't know if it could get any worse. I dont feel like im an ugly person or anything, i mean i am like all other girls and would like to lose weight and what not, but its the person inside me that is suffering. I always think people hate me, or are mad at me, even my own mom. I always worry and think my boyfriend doesnt love me, my friends are annoyed of me. i've caught myself on facebook and twitter trying to put other people down, like a bunch of girls that are 18 getting pregnant, because yes i think they're being irresponsible and putting themselves first not their child, but i guess i try to prove im a good person. I never used to have to do that, or never used to talk badly about anyone. I used to be so social making tons and tons of friends but now i kinda sit inside and just associate with people i already know.
My self-esteem is so bad i cant even make a simple decision, and always always always ask others for their opinion, like for an outfit, how to react to a situation, if what someone said to me was mean or not, i just have no confidence in what i believe at all. Idk if this is from depression and anxiety, or years of holding in emotions and feeling like i didnt relate to others (my best friend commited suicide when i was 15, then i held in still to this day my dad is cheating on my mom, i had depression, and anxiety attacks, and felt like no one would relate and never talked about my problems to anyone.) I realize i am ruining my life and my negative thoughts are probably unrealistic like thinking people hate me. I can't control these thoughts because its like i fear that they're true and it causes anxiety. I need constant reassurance from everyone in my life.
I need advice on how i can improve my self esteem
and i would really like to know a good blog site where i can basicaly have a journal and talk about my day and have people comment.
thank you sooooo much for you help. i really appreciate it =) (link)
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Hi there. You've made such a great job of analysing the causes, effects and threats of low self-esteem yourself, I can't add a lot! Do be a bit wary of looking for websites where you can air your views. There's a chance you'll take in a lot of counter-productive stuff from others with low self-esteem and actually get deeper in when you're trying to get out. We rather preversely feel better surrounded by fellow sufferers than we do around people who can actually help us out a lot of the time. You might try looking-out some books on the subject, ones which detail a programme of rebuilding your self-esteem. It can be done, very effectively. Given the level of understanding you've shown writing this, I should think you'll find no problems taking the theories & techniques on board and implementing them. There are few things in life so adept at feeding on themselves as low sel-esteem. Few things so horribly self-fulfilling. It really is a closed-loop of a mindset. You've got to break the loop in effect, that's the key. Coming out of depression it's natural to be in a frame of mind that says "Be thankful for little things...but don't get too ambitious, don't aim too high." Fair enough, that's part of the healing-process you need to go through. Now it's time to move on to the next phase. Build yourself back up. Spread you wings, take chances. Start living again. You'll get there! The 'have people comment' part strikes me as a bit of a step backwards...You're still seeking the approval of others to justify yourself here aren't you? Sort it out at the root mate, their comments, good or bad will be water off a duck's back to you then!
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Hi, let me tell you a little about myself. I am 13 years old and I have acne. I don't think I'm a pretty girl at all, I do have a boyfriend but he tells me that I'm extremely hhard on myself(of course he would say that he's my boyfriend) , I have C's and D's. I have had anxiety attacks from time to time and I have social anxiety. Now, my really close friend told me I need to get a counselor for my self-doubt. Should I take her seriously? (link)
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Some face-to-face couselling will help no end. The things you learn you'll have to take back into the real world and actually use though. It's easy to feel 'great, sorted!' during the session, then get it all shot down in flames next day. So start trying to make changes YOURSELF as well. Your description fits into the classic low-self esteem profile perfectly. Think of it as vicious-circles. Your self-esteem is low, you sacrifice the little you have trying to win the approval and esteem of others. It gets lower still. Your grades are a little low, you get anxious and feel inadequate. The pressure makes it harder for you to perform to your full potential next time. They get lower still. Noting feeds on itself like low self-esteem mate. It's self-fulfilling too. The mindset makes you go into a social situation expecting it to be hell...sure enough, it's hell! Curiously, the need to win the approval of others can easily lead to those with low self-esteem being constantly asked to do things, getting you a reputation as someone who is always happy to help. Even if it means putting something you want yourself on hold. Learning to say 'No. Can't right now. I'm busy with....(whatever)" is a good way to start breaking those cycles. Stay cool about it. Low self-esteem can successfully be built back up to scratch. Some already confident people use sort of 'super-charged versions' of the techniques counsellors will teach you to become REALLY assertive and dominant in business situations. It's not all physco-babble and nonsense...it works! It can really hold you back if you don't get it sorted, so get to it. Boyfriend and best mate have read the situation spot-on!
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Have you guys listened to this song?I got to listen to it when I watched 'Breaking dawn part 2'last week
and it made me feel really nostalgic. I know I'm being pretty exageratted.Does anyone feel the same when listening to a ceratin song or reading something? (link)
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The reaction you are describing mate is precisely what the arts and literature are made for. Every songwriter, composer and author strives to achieve this. It just happens. It strikes some resonance. I adore Rachmaninov's piano concerto no.2. And Verdi's La Traviata. Oddly though, I'm no classical music lover, don't know much about it at all really. My mum adores Italian opera and I grew-up listening to it, which could possibly explain the Verdi. But why only 'Traviata'? Whatever, why-ever, these two touch something profoundly in me every time. It's something you can't really analyse or explain. Only enjoy. So enjoy your favourite. You've got what we call that old-fashioned term, a 'soul' my friend!
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Hi! So I'm a female, 12 years old, and in France. So anyways, I've been obsessed with getting the Wii U. My mom said I may have till Christmas - or even until taxes come. And I'm SERIOUSLY obsessed with the Wii U and I really need it!! I don't know what to say to her to let me get it. She's that typs where she can get talked into letting me buy it.
I know this is a weird question or I may seem selfish or something, but I need this.. I've actually cried over this thing. That's how bad I want it Dx (link)
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I'm a bit unsure about the situation here. Are you planning to buy it with some savings of your own and need mum's permission? If so, you have to show her you really want it and you'll get the value back in enjoyment. And show you understand that the money you spend on it won't then be available for anything else. Or is she saying not just as a little treat, you have to wait for Christmas? If so, no worries! It's only a few weeks mate...and give her a big hug on crissy morning! There's the other possibility. Listen mate, the world's in a bit of a mess right now. It's costing your mum much more a week to keep you well fed, well dressed and warm and happy in your home than a few years back. But we're not getting paid much more, a lot have lost their jobs altogether. It might be she's having trouble sparing the cash. If that's so, you'll have to hang in there, and don't pile the pressure on her either. She'll do her best I reckon. Meanwhile, have you got any old tech that's still good, but you've outgrown? Something that you got, but you're not that keen on? Maybe you could sell it on and chip in with the cost? You'll be right.
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I am 25 and I am engaged. We already have a beautiful 8 months daughter. My fiance is always honest to me and tells me everything. Well I do the same except for one thing. My fiance knows that I was sexually abused when I was a kid. My mother had a boyfriend and she always let him take care of me and my sister when she was at work. She didn't know that her boyfriend was doing something to me like having sex with me (with clothes on). Thank God it didn't last long because they broke up. Another guy did the same to me. I never told anyone during that time. As a kid, I always thought that it was a game and that it will make them like or love me more.
I first had sex when I was 15. I'm a hopeless romantic person and I always wanted a perfect relationship. I thought that when I will have sex with a guy, it will make him love me more. But I was wrong. Most of the guys I like just left me. Until I met my fiance. He was perfect for me and he loves me so much. I love him so much too. We are 18 months together already. I told him that he's the 3rd guy I had sex with when he asked me about it. I lied. I already had sex with 16 guys from the age of 15 until now. He's the 16th guy. I feel bad that I'm lying to him. I never cheated on him. He's the last guy I had sex with. I'm thinking now wether to tell him the truth or just let it be. Help me decide. I feel so stupid that I let those guys get what they want. If I can bring back the past, I will choose to stay virgin until the day of my marriage. Thanks in advanced. (link)
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Hi. The abuse you describe will always have an effect mentally/emotionally. How we see the world, and ourselves is affected by how we feel. And our feelings govern our actions. The link is inevitable. You may have been left with extreme feelings of guilt and shame. Found it hard to form a significant relationship. You're OK there. You've found a good guy and it's working. Or the same experience could have the entirely opposite effect, it depends on a the multitude of other influences and experiences a person has been subjected to in their lives. It could lead to promiscuity, and even a hell-bent desire for self-destructive relationships. My knee-jerk reaction here is that the reaction 'came out' in you as a brief (in relation to the length of a life) phase of promiscuity. Now you're leaning the other way completely (again, very usual reaction) and desire to be a virgin. I would say without any doubt, keep the past where it belongs. In the past. You've handled it, you've moved on. You're getting to a place you want to be. Don't dwell on it at all. He's happy with 3 previous boyfriends. You're happy to let him think that. It's no longer important. The only way that can affect you now is if the revelation impacts negatively on his opinion of you. It could be met with sympathy and understanding, or it might stir-up some demon in his mind you don't know exists. Don't take the chance. What happened to you was wrong. You did not invite it. Don't give it even the tiniest CHANCE of messing-up the good thing you've got now.
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19/F
First of all, thank you from whom is reading this. I'm in my sophomore year at a community college. The only thing i'm good at is being naturally pretty, athletic, artistic and a great writer. But what good does that get me?! Nothing. There's no writing jobs unless I write a famous book like Harry Potter, or paint something like Picasso. Otherwise i'll make no-money the rest of my life. I failed my trig math course last semester. In high school I didn't take trig or pass geometry. I now found out when I get to college to get any degree I want, you need to know calculus. How can I manage to take calc or even precalc, when I can't even pass a simple algebra and trig course?! In high school I got a 850 on my sats. I'm so naturally stupid. I just feel like i'm wasting my moms money going to college. I'm not smart enough, i'm that part of the population that shouldn't live because i'm not smart enough to benefit society. I just feel like a waste of human flesh, yeah im pretty but pretty doesn't pay the bils. My boyfriends going to be a doctor and I don't want to depend on him. I just feel like shit and I hate talking about school with him because he and I both know hes smarter and I just hate feeling so insignificant all the damn time. In two years i'm suppose to somehow find a job? This is crazy i'm going to end up becoming a manager of some retail store like Kohls or something because I wasn't smart enough to do anything with my life. I just wish I could find a great career without math because it literally ruins my life. It's not like memorization of words, that's easy. Math is never the same damn problem and its ridiculous. I hate it, and I hate myself. It makes me so suicidal but I don't think I'd have the courage to do it. (link)
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Pretty and athletic qualities, and your strengths and interests are arts and literature. That's not a bad starting point, so don't knock yourself down. Comparing yourself to a guy who is more naturally numerically 'clever' is not a level playing field really is it? Before you break your neck trying to hammer calculus into your brain, let's try a different angle. How about playing to your strengths? Great painter wanted, or successful author required aren't job opportunities you'll see advertised, true. But many challenging and interesting careers are a real possibility. Media comes instantly to mind. Articulate, communicative, creative. I could write reams about this, and give a thousand examples...but let me take a different line. Is it possible that you're feeling under pressure to compete with your partner, or be more like him? Has something made you feel that only a technically-based degree is worth having? Is it about wanting to be his equal? I tend to think you are his equal...but in a different field. Looking ahead...purely hypothetical I know. Wouldn't your doctor husband love to see his pretty and fit and creative wife ENJOYING her life as say, a fashion journalist...maybe even editor? Working for a publishing house? Graphic designer? Working in advertising? Would the fact that his salary might be higher than yours be a problem for either of you? Might be worth thinking about. We can, by sheer force of will make ourselves good at things we have no interest in, or even positively dislike. But it can be a bit of a hollow victory. The realisation later, that you've spent a great and precious part of your life making yourself good at something you don't even like can TRULY make your life seem worthless. An expensive car and a bigger house really won't seem a fair trade for what you've lost. You're artistic...look at the bigger picture. Focus on the things you're getting right, not the ones you're getting wrong.
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iv been with my girlfriend for 1 year 3months now im 20 and shes 17 and she gets on better with lads than girls, she's started work in a male enviroment, she gets on well and bit close to her manager but hes gay and some of the blokes their flirt with her. should i be worried about her doing anythink? (link)
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I can understand you might feel a bit bothered by this. Obviously a gay man isn't a threat to your relationship in any way. But truth is, a woman could pick up a new boyfriend wherever she might be IF SHE WANTED TO. And if she's happy with you and DOESN'T want to, she could be surrounded by flirty guys all day long and she won't even look. If she's used to male friends she's probably even less likely to be sweet-talked...she'll have seen it all before. I'd suggest not confronting her with any accusations. Half the world is male after all. She'll see, meet and work with plenty of guys in her life. Just like you'll see, meet and maybe work with plenty of girls. Just do your best to keep her as happy as you can with YOU!
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