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self esteem
21 year old female. Ive gone through severe depression, to mild, to severe anxiety, to mild, but one thing over the years has gotten terrible and is having a huge effect on me this year. My self-esteem and confidence. It's so bad, i really don't know if it could get any worse. I dont feel like im an ugly person or anything, i mean i am like all other girls and would like to lose weight and what not, but its the person inside me that is suffering. I always think people hate me, or are mad at me, even my own mom. I always worry and think my boyfriend doesnt love me, my friends are annoyed of me. i've caught myself on facebook and twitter trying to put other people down, like a bunch of girls that are 18 getting pregnant, because yes i think they're being irresponsible and putting themselves first not their child, but i guess i try to prove im a good person. I never used to have to do that, or never used to talk badly about anyone. I used to be so social making tons and tons of friends but now i kinda sit inside and just associate with people i already know.
My self-esteem is so bad i cant even make a simple decision, and always always always ask others for their opinion, like for an outfit, how to react to a situation, if what someone said to me was mean or not, i just have no confidence in what i believe at all. Idk if this is from depression and anxiety, or years of holding in emotions and feeling like i didnt relate to others (my best friend commited suicide when i was 15, then i held in still to this day my dad is cheating on my mom, i had depression, and anxiety attacks, and felt like no one would relate and never talked about my problems to anyone.) I realize i am ruining my life and my negative thoughts are probably unrealistic like thinking people hate me. I can't control these thoughts because its like i fear that they're true and it causes anxiety. I need constant reassurance from everyone in my life.
I need advice on how i can improve my self esteem
and i would really like to know a good blog site where i can basicaly have a journal and talk about my day and have people comment.
thank you sooooo much for you help. i really appreciate it =)
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Ok I JUST started a blog like this. I want people to share their experiences with myself and others about dealing with anxiety, depression, and becoming a "better self". I want people to comment, post encouragement, and answer questions others have. I do want you to try and not seek approval from others, but you can't change over night so that will come in time. I'm 20 years old and going through a situation much similar to yours. I'm on anxiety meds and I'm on this incredible journey of learning more about myself and becoming what I'm calling a better self. It can be anonymous or public, it's up to you. I'll leave the website below, but you really should see a therapist whether it's a psychologist or psychiatrist- that's also up to you. But absolutely see someone. You need to talk to a professional, not just others in a similar situation (which is also a great idea!!)
My blog: [Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
also I'm on tumblr and twitter!
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
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I am not a doctor so I can not make a diagnoses. Though having suffered from depression myself I would say, judging from what you have written. You have not fully recovered from the depression you suffered.
I would suggest you find a Board Certified psychiatrist to be screened for depression and take any medication the doctor may offer while working with a qualified psychologist to get at the root cause of your depression.
Clinical depression, which is the most common type of depression, is generally caused by insufficient chemicals secreted into the brain. As such a Board Certified psychiatrist is the best doctor to prescribe for this condition. Seeing a psychiatrist for depression does not mean you are crazy. Depression is an illness not unlike say diabetes where you have to replace or supplement the missing chemicals. A family doctor could prescribe for this condition though they are really not trained to do so.
Then working with a therapist you are comfortable with, which is very important, you work to find out the root cause of your depression. It could be some recent stress in your life or a more deep seated problem form your past. It could also be a combination of both.
In therapy if you are open an work with the therapist you will find the cause of your problem. Once you find the cause the therapist will help you deal with it.
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Hi there. You've made such a great job of analysing the causes, effects and threats of low self-esteem yourself, I can't add a lot! Do be a bit wary of looking for websites where you can air your views. There's a chance you'll take in a lot of counter-productive stuff from others with low self-esteem and actually get deeper in when you're trying to get out. We rather preversely feel better surrounded by fellow sufferers than we do around people who can actually help us out a lot of the time. You might try looking-out some books on the subject, ones which detail a programme of rebuilding your self-esteem. It can be done, very effectively. Given the level of understanding you've shown writing this, I should think you'll find no problems taking the theories & techniques on board and implementing them. There are few things in life so adept at feeding on themselves as low sel-esteem. Few things so horribly self-fulfilling. It really is a closed-loop of a mindset. You've got to break the loop in effect, that's the key. Coming out of depression it's natural to be in a frame of mind that says "Be thankful for little things...but don't get too ambitious, don't aim too high." Fair enough, that's part of the healing-process you need to go through. Now it's time to move on to the next phase. Build yourself back up. Spread you wings, take chances. Start living again. You'll get there! The 'have people comment' part strikes me as a bit of a step backwards...You're still seeking the approval of others to justify yourself here aren't you? Sort it out at the root mate, their comments, good or bad will be water off a duck's back to you then!
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