marinemom24's advice column

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Q: canyou still do it when you have a yeast infection

Avoid having sex until it clears up. You can give a yeast infection to a guy, yours can clear up but then he can end up giving it right back to you if his goes untreated. Not a good idea. Plus, the itching and burning will just get more intense during and after sex.

Q: Well i'm 21 f and my bf(24)and i may be expecting. i like the idea as does he. so having a baby isn't really my problem telling our parents is. we haven't been a couple too long like a year. but we were friends before that for a year and we are plannning to get married. but my family is old fashioned and will be unhappy about a baby witch is stressing me out. and his parents still like and love his ex so they won't be pleased either. i'm really stressed and my bf tells me to calm down since i'm only 2 weeks late he says we should be sure before we stress the situation. can anyone offer some words of wisdom or give me some way to tell my parents and his that won't blow up in my face thank you

First, you should be sure that you are indeed pregnant by taking a pregnacy test. If you are pregnant, since you're both adults, you can do with your lives as you both see fit. Don't let your parents or his parents dictate what you should do or how you should feel. If having a baby together makes you both happy then enjoy it. Your parents may be dissapointed at first but when they see how happy you are they'll most likely come around. It is, afterall, their grandchild you're carrying. You've already said you plan on getting married so maybe that'll soften things for them. Be happy, and try to avoid being stressed. It's not good for you or for the baby. Hope this helps. Good luck!

Q: boyfriend and I broke up (he broke up with me) 6 months ago... I was devastated, I was madly in love with him. he still contacted me saying he still loved me and stuff like that. I asked whether he wanted to get back together and he didn't have an answer for me. I chose not to remain friends as it hurt a lot. 2 months ago I started seeing not dating another guy, my ex obviously found out and said to me "well you might start dating that guy, break up with him and then get back together with me, who knows" why is he saying that?

He's doing it because he's trying to control you. Don't allow it. He broke up with you and you did the mature thing and moved on. Now he's sees you don't need him and he's trying to reel you back in. My advice? Forget him. Hope this helps!

Q: I just went skiing the other day and I'm really sore anysuggestions on how to feel better I've tried hot bower which only worked for a little anything that I could do please feel free to answer

Soak in a hot tub with epsom salts. Take ibuprofen (it has an anti-inflamatory for your inflamed muscles). Get a nice friend to give you a massage with some good smelling body oil. The pain and stiffness will go away in a few days. Hope this helps!

Q: I'm M/15. I have been addicted to porn for a while. It soon escalated to transexual porn. I feel like its making me anti social. I like girls but I don't talk to them as much as I used to. I feel like I'll never get a girlfriend. Stupid dam internet. Every time I finish mastrabating to it, I feel evil & disgraceful, & disgusted with myself. I have been able to go weeks before a relapse. I also realise that when I used to be with a girl, I would never even think about porn. When I do see a girl I know & like, I just say hi & walk on, I used to be able to talk & laugh, but this past year I've turned into a disgusting, lonely bastard with no life. Once I went about 3 weeks by sabotaging my internet connection, BUT ofcourse I relapsed. :( What have I become? Maybe a new year's resolution...

I'm so glad Advicenator, Peeps, had the guts to more or less condemn your porn addiction, because I was beginning to think I was the only Advicenator who thinks porn can be a problem. I'm sure there are some people who look at internet porn on occassion, but it's my belief that porn can be addictive and can cause alot of problems in someone's life and relationships. Yes, the interenet has provided alot of beneficial and convenient things to our lives, but I honestly don't feel like porn is one of them. I'm also a little concerned that you're 15 and your parents don't have some kind of filter on the family computer. I'm sorry this has happened to you. Peeps has given you some really valuable suggestions. I truly hope you'll try some of them and realize that you don't need this crap and you can go on to have real relationships. Good luck.

Q: To start out Ima homophobic. Two men and two female ar wrong in the eyes of God. And Im a southern baptist. Lately, Ive been gettng these urges around girls, and I get hornny. I also get turned on by two girls kissing and I want to try it. Am I gayy? I look at girls butts and at there boobs sometimes also.

Many teens experience conflicting sexual desires and preferences. What you are feeling is perfectly natural. Yes, I feel there may be a possibility you are developing lesbian or bisexual tendencies and if that's the case there is absolutely, positively nothing wrong with that. God loves you no matter what. Contrary to what the church might say, God loves everyone and does not discriminate because you are gay. This could be a phase that you'll outgrow or it could be a life-long choice you will make. I would suggest that if you continue to be attracted to other females and are still uncomfortable with those feelings then find a support group for gay teens. It'll help you to realize you're not alone. Hope this helps.

Q: I have the strongest feelings ever for this one guy but he doesn't talk to me anymore it seems he is ignoreing me and I know what your gonna say just talk to him.. it's not that easy for me because I feel that vibe from him.. You know it's gotten to a point that I've been crying close to everyday as long as I'm preoccupied with somethig I don't cry and if I'm not infront of people I just can't cry in front of people... I know why I can't stop thinking about him is because he is the closest guy I have ever gotten to. I miss this guy so much it's making me stressed everytime I see him with another girl talking I feel terrible. I'm a mess I can't meet any guy to replace him.. I feel like there's no way out... He means so much to me I'll do anything for him but he doesn't want to be with me I can just tell I know things.. Every time I think about him which is a lot I regret that I didn't take my chances with him I could have had more of a bond and maybe a rwaltionship I blame myself I'm tired of this I'm crying to a way beyond point and my bestfriend has a boyfriend so I can never talk about my problems anymre bc she's usually talking about him or too busy so I'm alone and I need advice I'm stuck and I don't know what I could do anymore:(((

I hate to say it, but it definitely sounds like you're obsessed with this guy. That could be why he doesn't talk to you anymore. You've made yourself so openly available there's no challenge there for him. Many guys want to be the one doing the pursuing, not the other way around. It sounds to me like you've put this guy so far up on a pedestal no one else can compete. There are other guys out there. Just because this one isn't interested in you doesn't mean you have to spend your time pining away and crying. You're gonna just have to face the fact that it's not going anywhere and move on. It'll be hard at first, but worth it in the end. Hope this helps. Good luck.

Q: Okay, so I've been on the pill for over six months now.

Maybe two weeks ago, my boyfriend and I were in the shower, and he came near my vagina. I don't know how much of it got on me.

A week after that, I missed my period (I usually get it for a day or two during the inactive pills, but this time it was just a lot of discharge).

How likely is it that I'm pregnant? I know that there's almost no chance if you take the pill regularly, but I have been missing it around that time (I always took it no later 12 hours after I missed it, but still).

Logic tells me that I shouldn't be pregnant, but I'm freaking out. Is there a big chance? I'm stressing out because I'm way too YOUNG. When do I buy a pregnancy test? What are my options?

The only way you can become pregnant is if a guy penetrates your vagina and ejaculates inside. Since it doesn't sound like your bf penetrated you it doesn't seem likely that you'd be pregnant. But to ease your mind I'd suggest buying a pregnancy test. They're inexpensive and easy to use. Good luck.

Q: I am 22 years. my periods is very irregular. like 2 or 3 months after.some times i have to take tablets.then my periods will start.bt somedays ago i have sex with my boyfrnd.but i think still i am virgin.bcoz he didn't try to make my hole big & i didn't feel any pain at that time.he just put his penni on the place.i'm very wooried.on that case is there any possibility to b com pregnant.my last periods was 8th nov.bt very light in colour & flow.

You can only become pregnant if the guy completely penetrated your vagina and ejaculated inside. If this indeed did happen then you are no longer a virgin. Your "hole" isn't going to get bigger from having sex. Your best choice is to go to Planned Parenthood, your personal physician or purchase a pregnancy test so you'll know for sure whether or not you are pregnant. You can also ask for birth control when you go to the doctor to be sure you don't have to keep going through this uncertainty. Good luck.

Q: I want to get a bigger butt, and I keep seeing getabiggerbutt.com, but it sounds too good to be true?

Is getabigger but a scam ripoff?

Thank you!

As the saying goes, if it seems to be too good to be true it probably is. There are exercises you can do to tighten and lift your butt which makes the butt appear bigger. I went to the site you mention and the only valuable information I can find is the part where they'll show you these exercises. Other than that their methods are extremely vague. My suggestion would be to save your money and learn some of the exercises on your own through online websites. Hope this helps.

Q: My mom is working about 15 hours daily (alot. I know) and she wants to take me to work with her to keep her awake in the evenings. But she's not supposed to take me. And she could lose her job. And she says I need to show my love more to her, and I'm afraid that one day she will get hurt or something, so should I go to work with her and risk her losing her job or just stay home when she goes in the evening?

Wow, that's a tough situation your mom is putting you and is also a tough call to make. You love your mom and want to be an obedient daughter, but what you are describing isn't the safest situation for you. You're not an adult and honestly, it's not your job to keep her awake at her job. I hate to say it but I think your mom is being unfair to you. I would urge you to stay at home where you'd be safer and not at risk of causing your mom to lose her job. Let your mom know you love her, but also let her know she should also show her love for you by not asking you to do things that aren't in your best interest. I truly hope you find my advice somewhat helpful and I wish you the best of luck! Email me again whenever you like!

Q: My friend always brags about all the things she gets, how can I ask her nicely to stop? I don't mid hearing about it sometimes, but all the time gets annoying.

It's been my experience that people who brag are usually insecure with themselves. This is often just an attempt to cover the insecurity. Maybe she defines herself by her belongings and lacks most other things...like a personality? Depending on how important this friend is to you, you can try telling her that her constant bragging is getting annoying, you can try changing the subject quickly or just stop hanging out with her as much. Hope this helps somewhat.

Q: Can giving a handjob give any STD's/infections of any sort? For instance, if the male's genitals are infected, can the female contract it simply by touching?

I would think that if a guy has a raging STD and the girl giving the hand job has open sores on her hands then there might be a possibility of contraction. Or if the girl, for some unknown reason, decides to rub her hand directly on her eye, mouth or vagina after giving the hand job, there may be a risk of transferring the infection. Just be safe and smart whenever deciding to have any form of sex. That's always the best way to avoid contracting an STD.

Q: Ok so what i have isnt fully "Tittitnus" basically i filmed a freinds band practice on the 21'st, i came away from it with all sorts of wierd tones ringing away in my head. My hearing was slightly muffled as well (untill the muffled...-ness went this morning about 10 hours after i came away from practice) The worst of the ringing has passed, but i still have a slight tone in the background of my mind thats there when there's no noise around to cover it up.

i was exposed to the (stupidly) high volumes for no more than 2 hours. Does anyone know how much longer this could go on for?

I went to a festival for over 10 hours before and my hearing wasnt half as bad as it was last night, and that was just 2 hours! ha, weell thanks in advance for all answer's.

Ringing in the ears and the "muffled sound" you are experiencing is definetely from the loud music volume you were recently exposed to. However, it seems like the muffled sound is lasting a bit longer than may be usual. I would like to ask if you've been listening to music on an IPod or Zune with headphones lately? If you have, and have had the volume pretty high that could seriously be hurting your hearing. Combined with frequenting loud concerts is not good for your hearing and can also cause irreversible hearing loss. I can say this from personal experience because it happened to me, but fortunately it was detected before it became permenant. If it becomes a problem for you or continues to persist I'd suggest you talk to your doctor. In the meantime be careful of exposing yourself to loud music. Hope this helps! Good luck!

Q: thanks again ! lol

First, don't ever think you're a bother for reaching out to ask for advice. Secondly, it's wonderful that you see the dangers of using drugs and have chosen to stay away from that lifestyle. I have also seen what drug use can do to people. It permeates every aspect of their lives, making it difficult to hold on to jobs and relationships. Some drugs are so highly addictive that consuming more is all that becomes important to the user. Now, having said all this and as for telling on someone you know who is using drugs, I have to be honest and say tread very lightly here. Take a real inner look at your true motivation before doing it. Is the friend smoking pot or is she a severely addicted crackhead? You may not approve of her behavior, but as long as she's not in immediate danger of overdosing I'd keep her drug use from her parents, etc. You'll be labeled the snitch and that's not a good place to be (as you have already found out). My suggestion would be to stay away from her. She may be your "friend" but you neither approve nor partake in her habits. Try to hang out with kids that aren't using drugs. Hope some of this advice helps! Good luck!

Q: I am 14/f. I baby sit this 7 yr old little boy, and his dad was my dad's frat buddy in college so both our families are really close. When other people are around the kid is fine...but when I am babysitting him by myself, he becomes super toilet boy. He talks to me about the toilet. He puts stickers on the toilet paper. He throws things in the toilet, nothing big that would clog it but still...he even sits down on the toilet with his pants up but with the seat so he falls in and calls me in to fish him out. It's too awkward to tell my folks or his what he's doing, but I don't know how to deal with this crazy kid...what should I do? I make really good money for this btw and definitely don't want to lose out on that.

Hmmm...it really does seem to me that this boy is acting just a bit immature for his age. At age 7 he shouldn't be pulling these odd stunts. They do seem harmless but still a tad irritating. I get a feeling he's doing this to get a rise out of you in particular, since you say he only acts out when it's just the two of you. Obviously he can control his behavior when he needs to. Perhaps he has a little crush on you. Try not to discipline the bad behavior, maybe even try completely ignoring it. Instead try rewarding the good behavior. Also, you can try to make him your "helper". This technique has never failed me. Tell him you have some projects you need his help with. Then come up with some ideas like writing a story (use him as the hero in the story), clean his room or work on a puzzle together. Redirecting the troublesome behavior should help a great deal. As a mom and teacher, I know how trying some behaviors can be. Don't give up, I think it just might be a phase. Hope this helps! Good luck!

Q: i have a very light skin color (pretty much white) but I'm Mexican. My eyes are green with a golden-like circle around my pupil. My current hair color is deep cherry red (it looks like a brown with a red tint) i'm ready for another color though. what color should i dye it? no highlights, no black, and no blond please.

If you go to Loreal's or Clairol's websites they have suggestions and tips on hair color and choosing a shade. Honestly, it sounds like your hair color already suits your complexion though. Whatever color you do decide on, I'd suggest starting with the temporary, wash-out kind. Permenants grow out and you don't want to be stuck for a long time with something you're not happy with. Hope this helps.

Q: Hey everyone. First off happy holidays! Secondly.. My question. :) well I need some easy recipies that only take a veryyyyy short amount of time to make. Desserts mostly.... Like cookies, cakes, smoothies, sweet breads, maybe pies... What are some REALLY AMAZING recipes that taste DELICIOUS and are really quick and or easy to make. Thanks soooo much!!! I'll rate you're answer now thanks!!

Oh and if you have recipies for frozen hot chocolate that don't use a blender or evaporated milk.
Also recipies to make hot chocolate from scratch ! Thanks soooooooo much!!! ;)

Anything dipped in chocolate! Get a package of almond chocolate bark, found at any grocery store for under $3.00. You can easily break off squares and melt it in the microwave (carefully at 1 minute intervals, stirring in between). Then dip pretzels, nuts, fruit, cookies, etc. in the melted chocolate. Almond bark also comes in white chocolate so you can drizzle it over your creations for a fancier look. You can also make your own candy from melted chocolate chips and adding raisins and nuts...super easy. You can make cookies from any cake mix by eliminating the liquid and adding only the egg and oil. Make them extra special by adding goodies like nuts and chocolate chips. Pies? get a ready made pie crust in the refrigerated section of your grocery store and a can of ready made filling (cherry's my fave) and bake. Here's a recipe for a 3 ingredient peanut butter cookie that tastes delicious and is super easy to make:

1 cup peanut butter
1/2 cup sugar
1 egg
Preheat oven to 325. Mix everything together until well blended. Refrigerate for 30 minutes. Roll into 18 balls. Place 2" apart onto ungreased cookie sheet. Flatten each ball in a criss-cross pattern with a fork. Bake for 18 minutes. Cool.

Hope this helps! Happy Holidays and Happy Baking!

Q: I am a 17 year old girl and a senior in high school. I've always been interested in guys and I don't think I'm a lesbian, but recently I started developing a sort of "crush" on a girl in one of my classes, named Maria. She's very quiet and pretty, and every time I look at her she smiles.. so I smile back. And every day we just smile at each other but I get embarrassed and look away because I really like her, and all I can think about is how badly I want to kiss her. I go to a very big school so I'm not worried about a bunch of people knowing, but within my group of friends it wouldn't be accepted. My friends are wonderful and they would still be my friend, but it's not something I want to tell people. I don't know how to tell Maria that I like her. I'm not even sure if she likes me but I get this vibe that she does. So how can I tell if she likes me in that way? And how could I let her know that I like her?

You don't have to tell her you like her right away. Start slowly by making a point of going over to talk to her after or before class. Talk about the subject of the class. From there you can get an idea if she's interested or not. If she seems reluctant to have the conversation end you can then suggest the two of you get together to study, or perhaps go for coffee after school. Just flirt with her like you would do with any guy. If you're getting a vibe, chances are there's something to it. Don't let the opportunity pass you by :) Hope this helps!

Q: So I just got out of a two year relationship that started my junior year of High School. I took it with me to college, all through 1st semester, and now during break I knew it was time to end it. It was a very unstable/unhealthy relationship for both of us. It took a lot out of me, and its been a long time since I've been myself. I'm happy to start discovering who I am again.

However, during my 1st semester in college I have become friend with a few new guys, two of which specifically seem to have fallen in love with me.

They are both so different, yet they are both very good friends of mine, both wonderful in their own way, and both very in love with me. Obviously not in love, but very infatuated I should say. One of them tells me stuff like: you light up my day, are very special to me and changed my views and are the most beautiful person ive ever seen.

This is all over the whole time I've known him. Hes just so sweet to me. The other one is brilliant and has helped me so much, but I always hear from people that know him that he loves me. We have fantastic talks.

My problem now is I don't know what to do with these boys. I know they are both going to try to get closer to me now that they know im single once school starts back up. And I don't mind that I love having guy friends but how close can I allow them to get before they start demanding more. I love them both dearly but I am not even close to being ready for a new relationship. I am rediscovering who I am, and I worry that the more I am friends with them the more they will want.

How should I handle this situation as to make sure to still keep my friendships, but not have to be put in a situation where I have to choose a relationship?

First, I'd like to say, you certainly are a very mature, intelligent young lady! You realized it was time to end your 2 year relationship and did so. Now you recognize that you need some valuable "me time". What you've written here is clear and well thought out. I suggest you tell these young men exactly what you've said here. Taking it slow and giving yourself time to heal after ending a long relationship is the best thing for you right now. Explain it just as you have here. If these guys love you as they say they'll understand and respect that. Keep them as close friends, of course, but keep things like that for awhile. Hope this helps somewhat. Good luck!

bio

Merry Meet!
I'm a mom of three grown children. I've been married, divorced and now recently remarried. I've had more than my fair share of life's hard knocks and have been knocked down more times than I can count, but still manage to get back up and go at life again. All this gives me tons of experience to draw upon when giving out my advice. I love people and honestly want to help. Please feel free to ask me questions directly if you like and I promise to answer each one of them.

Brightest Blessings to All!!