deathwillcome's advice column

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Q: Ok so this is the first easter where iv had a boyfriend. what do i get him?

Easter isn't really one of those holidays that you get someone anything... it's kind of the easter bunny's thing for little kids...that's about it. I guess you can if you want, but I don't know what you would get him. Sorry if I offended you or anything, no intentions of it.

Q: 16/f
over spring break i might go out to dinner with this guy that i really like. i dont think he knows i like him but i've left enough hints and he might like me but i was just wondering what to wear. it'll either be dinner or a movie or both. not likely an official date just...i dont know how to explain it. so what can i wear thats casual yet flirty but not too skanky because although i want him he's not getting me that easy.

wear jeans, a cute shirt that has a v cut and either heals or not, the shoes don't really matter. But I do have to say that, if he does like you, he won't care what you are wearing, especially if it's not official. He wants to hang with you, so be you! Don't wear something you aren't comfortable with, but don't wear sweats. Just be who you are, and he'll love it, if he doesn't, then he's not worth the time. My grandma always said "if he doesn't chase you, he isn't worth chasing!" I've always lived by that, and I hope you understand the truth of it. I hope it helps enough, and good luck on your (unofficial) date with the cute guy. Have fun!

Q: Ohkay 14/F

I can't decide if this guy likes me or if hes a player. He always text me and uses like a ton of smilie faces. He talks to my friends about me and tells them how im hot and how he wants to make out in a hot tub with me. He tells me he loves me but then we will have like an awkward silence and he wont text back for a while. Or hed rather talk about me to my friends then text me. Im lost with signals.

He could be a player, it kind of sounds like it... but then again, it could also be that his personality. I have known many a guy that wasn't a player, but just sounded like one. Sometimes they are, and that is why it's so hard. What you have to decide is if you like him, and if you are willing to put yourself in that situation... Talk to him about anything, get to know him better. I know it may sound stupid, but the more you know him the better chance you will be able to tell if he's a player or a player -look-alike... I hope that it helps, and don't be discouraged if he's a player...a good guy will come around.

Q: ok I have been watching this show called "High School Confidential" and of the one's I have seen everyone of them has said how they learned so much about themselves during the 4 years and they discovered who they really are...
So I was wondering for those of you who are out of high school: did you find yourself during high school...or learn things about yourself? and for those who are still there: do you think that you are learning things about yourself?

I think I am learning a lot about myself... I don't know if I know myself, I don't know if anyone truly knows themselves until they are old...but I know a lot more about how I feel and think about things. I understand more where I stand and what my morals are. I think some people don't find themselves in High School because they are too busy trying to be who they aren't... but that is just an opinion. I hope that was the right answer...ask me anything, anytime...

Q: So I have been dating this guy for 5 months and his best friend lyed to me and said that my boyfriend was going to dump me and i ened up crying the whole night. Then i asked my boyfriend and he said it was crazy. when i asked why is friend said that he said he was just being him.. and he is always doing stuff like that What should I do??
Love always
Funsize

I can't necessarily tell you exactly why he does that because everyone has their own reasons... but some friends just like to give their friend's girlfriends or boyfriends a bad time. My best friends are always teasing and messing with my boyfriend...it's just how they are. Now, what he did was a little over the top, but maybe he didn't know you would react to it like that. Maybe he meant to tell you, eventually, that it was a joke. I would ask your boyfriend exactly what he meant when he said "he was just being him". If his friend is going to treat you like that and your boyfriend isn't going to say anything to him about it, I would suggest you say something to your boyfriend...he should stick up for you... I hope that I helped a little. You can always ask me anything...

Q: Ok well im a 17 year old female and am a senior in high school. And this year I've been hanging out a lot with my best friend since like 8th grade more than usual. I'm over her house like all the time, and I think I might, I don't know if i really do, a crush on her little brother. Her brother is in 10th grade, and is 15 (going on 16 this summer).Like he's two years younger, but hes pretty mature for his age, and we do get along really well, and we flirt, but in a way where were both kidding. People have commented on us before, but we both kind of were like "oh yeah right hes/shes like my brother/sister". But no matter how much I tell myself no way, there still a part of me that always wants him around when I'm over there, or gets disapointed when hes not there. When I'm not around him, I think that i don't like him, but when I'm with him I second guess myself. I don't know, I'm so confused about the situation. He is really young and hes my BEST FRIENDS younger brother. Help!

I know it seems like a big thing, but it isn't. If your friend is a good friend she will support you, and it sounds like he is a great guy for you to get with. Don't be confused, just try it out. If it doesn't work then it doesn't work. As long as you don't get too close too fast, it will be fine. I hope I helped. Just be easy on yourself, no one knows right away if they like a person.

Q: Welll there is these two boys in school that I like and i dont talk to one of them but the other one always talks to me sometimes i think he likes me but im not sure..But I dont know which one is better for me?? Also Im trying to become friends with the boy that i dont talk 2 him becuase im scared to he seems intimidating to me but ma friends tell me that he so sweet???

It's never easy to pick between two guys that you like, but if you think about each of them (the good and bad things.)and decide which one you'd be more comfortable with. The guy that you are always hanging with and know well; he is a great thing because he knows you enough to know what to do or not to do. The other guy doesn't know you at all and would have a harder time, but he might be better. Getting to know him might be best before you choose. But remember that just because you will be able to decide if you like him or not. But you already have a guy right there in front of you, and the best way for you to find out if he likes you or not is to ask. I hope that I helped, and if you ever need any more help, don't hesitate to ask.

Q: Ok so i have been masterbating for around about 2 years now.

i use the shower head for water pressure.
its good and all but im getting really bored with it.
i want fun without having to go to the hassle of buying sex toys/ dildo's

is it possible to have an orgasim when masterbating ?
cause i know i havent had one
this may sound weird to ask but anyone got some ideas for me to get one using maybe a house hold object ??

i need ideas people FAST ! :P
any advice will appreciated : )

Hey, I know your pain. That is how I started and I have a couple ideas for you. One really good way is to get some pillows, first one or two regular ones, then a body pillow (a long one almost as long as your body). First you put the one or two pillow(s) on the ground (folded in half, if there are two put them together then fold them)then you drape the body pillow over them. You straddle them and then have fun . If it doesn't work, you can put a stuffed toy in between the small pillows and the body pillow. If you want anymore you can hit one in my inbox or email me... Hope I helped a little...

Q: I was trying out for a solo and I know all the words and i can dit every note but i cant sing in front of people it scares the hell out of me. But i just am upset I really wanted to be the lead soloist and all of my close friends say i am good and i could have made it. How can I get away from stage fright?!?! Last time I was doing a performance I past out back stage. I am mortified. None of the underwear tricks work. of course i dont know if you have stage fright your self or anything but, you seem more umderstanding of these nasty little worries.

Ok, well...I do have stage fright myself. Those underwear things never really helped me either. One thing I try to do is imagine the audience is actually not there. Like no one is around. Or I try to imagine that they are all with me on the stage and singing with me. One thing that stage fright says to me is that you don't believe in yourself. If you practice in front of your mirror and then family and then friends, you will slowly get more self esteem and then when you get in front of more people, if you know any of them, just imagine you are singing to only them, just like before. You can still be a lead soloist. Anything is possible. Just keep you self in check. Keep practicing even if you get it right. There is a saying that I heard once. "Practice until you can't get it wrong" A lot of people practice until they get it right and then they just celibrate and are finished. Then when they perform they mess up. The key is to practice until you get it right, and then remember what you did, and practice it right a bunch of times until you have it so memorized you can't mess up. I hope I helped, and remember, my inbox is always open.

Q: ok. well my friend & her boyfriend have been dating for a year. he broe up with her a while ago..
well, yesterday, her boyfriend told me that he likes me. dont like him back& i told him that. well myfriend found out that he likes me& now she thinks i was the reason they broke up&she's mad at me. i've told her multiple times that i dont like him& that im ot going to date him. but she stil is mad& wont even talk to me anymore.
this girl is my best friend & i need serious help with this problem.

I say that you let it cool down. If you follow her around telling her that that's not how it is, she's just going to get mad. But if you tell her "I am not going to keep telling you non-stop. I told you the truth when I told you that I'm not going to date him, and I'm sorry that your ex likes me. I don't like him. If you aren't going to believe me, that's your problem. Personally, I don't think a guy should come between us. He likes me, I don't like him. That's that!" And be through with it. Don't drag on, maybe don't even say that much, just tell her the truth once more, then that you are telling the truth and it's her problem if she doesn't believe you. If she doesn't cool off, it's her problem. She's not going to just believe you becuase you say something. That's like telling a girl that her boyfriend is cheating on her, she's not going to believe it becuase she hasn't seen it for herself. I hope that I helped, and remember, my inbox is always open. You don't have to rate, but it would be nice. Thanks. (sorry if the answer was too long)

Q: My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 months. During the school year last year and this year we saw each other every weekend (both Saturday and Sunday) and still do. In the summer, he had a job, but when he had to work I would see him before and after he worked, and on the days he didn't go to work I was with him all day. We saw each other every single day in the summer unless we had to go on a family vacation (and even then I brought him on one once). I feel like he gives up everything for me. Does that mean he really does love me?

Just because he is always with you it doesn't he mean he absolutely loves you. I would say yes, just because he IS giving up a lot for you, and he has done a lot for you. But love isn't just sacrifice. It's also being able to stand the bad things in a person. If he can love you even with all the bad things you have done and all the little things that you do that would bug him, then you have proof he loves you. Talk to him...ask him what he would change about your relationship if he could. Ask him what he doesn't like, and don't let him answer nothing...if he does he's lying... I hope I helped, and remember, my inbox is always open. Rate if you want, but you don't have to. Thanks.

Q: 14/f what are some good items that i can use around the house to masturbate with? I cannot buy anything. Oh and where are some good places to practice it? I need it to feel really good. Not just a little bit. Thank you very much

if you want some good tips I will tell you some...E-mail me and I deffinately can help go on my Advice column and it has my E-mail address...just make sure to state who you are so I remember and am able to help you...hope I can help...

Q: how do i become a columnist?

you have to have an e-mail, click on "register now" and put just fill in the info. It shouldn't be so hard, but you have to have an E-mail.

Q: ya but everything is ok now we love eachother so much i cant believe im with her is so amazin

luvv:-)killa-dog

Tell me about her...

Q: ya i used your last advice with brandon it worked she told me she use to like him but she fell in love with me aint that great ya i love her so much how bout you any b.f problems thats what im best at if ya neeed help let me know but ya peace

luvv:killa-dog

nah...I'm fine...but thanks...I'm happily in love with my boyfriend. I'm glad that you figured it out with her...I hope you two are happy.

Q: ok thanks ill try it but hey i just cant break up with her i love her and ya

I'm not saying break up with her...talk to her about it, you two can work through it together if you love eachother enough. But if she isn't willing to try...it isn't worth it...

Q: I have, normaly really good grades but this year they have been dropping fast then slowly coming up to decent then dropping again. I cant figure out why normaly Im 3.0 averge but this year Im more along the lines of 1.5 and 2.0 My parents ask for all c's or higher. They are getting really mad. At the first of the year they were good then they started dropping when I sarted going out with my boyfriend. Then when we broke up they shot up again, when we got back together they dropped again. Is it my bf's fault for my grades? and What do I do to GET THEM UP AND KEEP THEM UP?

The way you explained that, it sounds like it's your boyfriend's out...but the only way it would be his fault is if he were keeping you from doing your homework... It sounds like you need to stop worrying about being around your boyfriend, and start worrying about your grades... To get them up, work hard, to keep them up, keep working after you have them up... hope that helped, ask me a question anytime...

Q: hey deathwill come thanx for answer but one more thing My Bf just kissed me today after school he totaly surprised me, and through me off gurd since he had only asked that morning. I dont Know if he will hurt me again last time it was the last thing I ever expected him to do and what hurt the most was well not neccessarily hurt but I felt really bad was that the day before we actualy broke up we had a huge fight on my friends (practicly my sister) birthday sobbing in her arms and then we broke up on my dads birthday. Also my parents dont know that Im dating they think I am to young to date but the chemistry I dont know how to explain it He says that he has never felt this way before but I dont know for sure I mean I know I Love HIM I do but I will admit that I have never really had this deep of a relationship before and I have never asked for advice before so Im very concerned that Some of my problems are to long or personal to be explaning online I lead a very sheltered life my friends are always joking how Nieve I am and now they promised that if I asked they would just tell me about whatever dirty thing they are talking about but I dont know If I want to know sometimes. But I also have family problems too, only problem that I cant ask about family problems right now is that im on a friends computer and they are getting annoyed that Im not messing with them, dont get me wrong they are awsome, it is just that we rarely get to hang out now a days away from school so I'll check if you've answered the next chance I get. Please do awnser. I need someone to talk to thanx a ton. from Hidden behind a mask.

Dear Hidden,
I read through that whole thing a couple times and here's the thing...I don't quite get what your asking. I mean...about your boyfriend, as long as he isn't moving too fast for you, this kissing thing is ok. You love him...but you said that you didn't know when he said that he "hadn't felt anything like this before" Why is that? is there something that he has said before? ok...on the whole sister/friend's birthday breakup thing...I think that she will get over it. It probably kinda sucked, but if she is a good enough friend to be your sister, she would rather help you then worry about getting a year older. Family problems...well...I can help with them if you want to ask. I'm always open to any questions... and your parents not knowing that you have a boyfriend and are dating... don't feel too guilty for that...as long as you aren't sleeping with him...that shouldn't be too bad. (I'm not saying you sleep with guys, just trying to put it in perspective.) so ask me another question anytime...

Q: ok ok ya i sas ready so was she it was nice i so felt the sparks it was great i have a feeling this is gona last for a really long time

Sparks...well, that's always a good thing...but did she feel sparks to? how do you know what she is feeling at the same time that you are feeling that? You should ask her..

Q: ok her it is i talked 2 her and she says she dont like him any more but i dont know how truthfull she is being i want to be able to trust her but ya i dont know she tels me she loves me and i know she aint liein but i still get really nervious whenthis other guy is around his name is brandon and i dont know it just feels weird when the 3 of us are in the same room i dunno maybe im just over reacting well thands for all the advice i gotta go peace

luvv:killa-dog

Well, I think you should tell Brandon how you feel about it. You two might be able to work it out. Maybe he could ask her how she feels about him, and then she might let her true feelings out... I'm not saying what she told you isn't true, but then you'll know for sure. There is another thing...if you don't trust her, why are you with her still? Relationships do not last when you don't trust eachother. if you can't trust her, she can't really trust you. Trust is one of the most important things in a relationship. Either learn to trust her, or figure something out fast, becuase this could turn bad...

bio

Ok, so I haven't been on in a while and I'm just starting to get back to where I can give advice again. I had a rough spot there and I just couldn't give advice without seeming rude, so I decided to take a break. My real name is Shannon and I live in Utah. I am 15 and I love animals and friends. I love to act and know a bit about those kinds of things. I would love to help you out and hope that I can. But there is one thing, you have to ask a question for me to answer! Just kidding. Hope you have a great day!