UnbeautifulDiamond's advice column

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Q: so i had normal menstrual flow since then. and i have a boyfriend right now,
what he would do,is to finger me, about 2 fingers inside. but we never had sex. we had fun after a week of my period had been over.. he tried to enter his penis into my vagina, just once, we just tried only.
two weeks after that incident, i had my period again. i don't know why that happened, i just thought that it might be because my period just came early.
after 2 weeks again, i bleed. it's just in a minimal amount. i can't even soak a sanitary pad. is that what you call spotting? it only occurs in the morning.
what does that mean? please help me.! i don't want to go to a doctor.. i'm not preagnant, is it?

It does not sound like you are pregnant but you do need to see a doctor. with any type of sexual of sexual contact your menstruation MAY be thrown off depending on how your body reacts to new things being introduced to it. You should go see a doctor immediately and see what's up and hey you may even get put on birth control to be able to moderate your periods.

Q: hi guys, why does a boyfriend wants you to cum at the same time as he is during sex? we've been dating for a 3 and a half years now and lived together for a couple of months. everything is going great. he's 48 and i'm 34. during sex he ejaculates quick and me, it takes a few minutes. but he just really wants and asks me to cum at the same time whenever we have sex. so why is it? thank you all.

Have you ever came at the same time as your partner? It is amazing. thrilling. just... oh my godness hahaha. It may be a turn on for him but he also has to understand you don't work like that. And go the little bit of thee extra mile to get you close to the climax if he wants that.

Q: I have a REALLY low self esteem, and absolutely no confidence and I don't know how to change that. I feel disgusted when I look in the mirror and I'm ashamed that others look at me. My smile is horrible, I need braces very bad but my dad won't take care of it. I constantly amnhiding my smile, covering my mouth every time I laugh, or looking down or away if possible. I'm skinny and don't have any boobs and I'm not up to societies standards and that bothers me greatly. I keep wishing I can change things about myself when I already know I can't. I just want to know if there's a way to increase my self confidence, or self esteem somehow

For a long time i myself have struggled with a low self esteem. like you sometimes i have trouble looking in the mirror without just feeling repulsed and depressed. Hint at my name "Unbeautiful Diamond" but the thing about it is, no matter how "ugly" you feel... you're not. everyone is beautiful in their OWN way. And i've seen what society depicts as the "ugliest" girls with the depiction of the "hottest" guys. And it's normal to have a low self esteem. Just work on your image till you find what's right for you. Find something to do that you're passionate about that you do good so it makes you feel proud of yourself. Even try taking sexy pictures (FOR YOUR EYES ONLY) and keep them whenever your feeling low. i mean go all out. put on some makeup and do your hair crazy. And don't worry about boobs... some guys prefer flatter chest actuallly.

Q: Ok so I don't have a partner and I'm so lonely I long to have someone who will love me and me him :( I jus don't seem to fine anyone noone wants me I'm a single mum and my chil is my life they come first and men don't seem to accept that????any helpful words?I jus get down about it sumtimes x

Instead of going out there to search for somebody to love you and your child, why not focus on loving your child as much as possible. And maybe one day a guy will just pop into the picture. And not to be a bitch, but desperation isn't attractive.

Q: My guy friend is getting a lot more touchy feely and flirty lately, this week he grabbed my thigh, and pokes my butt with his binder, and tickles me a lot, and today he kept trying to put his hands up my shirt, on my stomache to "warm his hands up" and did it more at our locker trying to tickle me. then when we hugged goodbye after school he put his hands up my shirt again. Why could this be?

thanks.
i'm 17 btw.

Welp... he definitely is attracted to you... lol. But the way he is expressing it is disrespectful towards you. If he likes you, he should show it the right way because a guy who treats you like that doesn't see you as a friend but a piece of ass.

Q: i think you are ridiculous for saying that it is not okay for a guy to finger a girl unless he is married to her...i understand the whole concept of no sex until marriage but really..getting fingered is a great feeling and girls cant go through years or until marriage without recieving pleasure from a boy. loosen up you nun.

Not to be that bitch, but uhm yeah... i mean why does it matter if the guy fingers the girl before marriage?! In all seriousness, she probably will at some point finger herself because girls start young now anyway. The only difference between the guys finger being there and the girl masturbating is the hand.

Q: So for a few weeks now I've been talking to this guy over Facebook and we seemed to get along quite well. Just last weekend we met each other for the first time (he lives an hour away) and we cuddled A LOT. At first he just had his arm around me and i laid my head against him, then he grabbed my wrist and put my arm around his stomach, later on, we were holding hands and at first i didnt realize it but the back of my hand was over his crotch, which is weird to me, i've never cuddled/ kissed/ dated anyone. The next day we were im'ing each other, he told me he had wanted to kiss me. Later in the conversation i told him i had been wet and then he told me he had gotten an erection ( i did notice his hand covering his crotch a few times). I can't stop thinking about him (which is normal for me when i have a crush) but i also fantasize about having sex with him. And i don't know what to do. i really like him for his personality too, so my attraction to him isnt just sexual. He's done it before, i haven't, though he isn't the stereotypical guy who just wants sex, he is very intelligent. Im 15, he's 17. What do I do? I don't wanna hear about us being too young either, i already know that, but teens do it anyway.

It's funnny reading this because this is what i just went through myself. I'd known a guy a year from a social network then we met and well... i'm not gonna lie we had sex. But the only difference is i had known the guy a whole year. A few weeks is a different story and especially if this is your first time, which for me it wasn't. I'm sure he is a great guy but the fact that you haven't known each other that long and it has already reached to the sexual part... your moving WAY TOO FAST! Believe me, people tell you losing your virginity is something precious ... it is and alot of people regret it. AND I MEAN ALOT!

Q: im friends with a girl a couple months older than me. she is over obsessed with me. buys me anything i mention i like, even if i tell her no several times. she offers to drive me anyway and tries to get involved in my relationships. even flirts with my bfs... shes tried to turn me and twin sis against each other and backstabs me but puts me on a throne too. idk how to confront her. she is very fragile. also im in another country atm...return in 18 days. shes nice, but i dont want friends i cant trust.help?

Whoa, whoa. This girl is not your friend. Sounds like she might have a secret envy towards you in a way or a gay crush LOL. Nah i'm just joking even though those two things are possible. But you need to confront her, and i am serious she is not your friend and if you don't do something now expect her backstabbing to get way WORSE.

Q: Hey, this question is something that I get a lot and used to get quite frequently because my best friend is a guy. I just want to know what your feelings are on guy/girl friendships. Do you think they can just be friends forever? Will they eventually fall for one another? Will sexual tension get the best of them? I've heard them all, my friend and I have been best friends since third grade and are now seniors in high school and everyone, even outside our circle of friends thinks that some day, some how, we are gonna date because guy/girl friendships are impossible. I disagree, as does he. What do you think?

OH MY GAWD!!!! I get asked this all the time. Yes, they can. I mean sure there is a strong chance of mutual feelings or some sort of crush going on. But yes, guys and girls can be just friends. I am a girl and i PREFER guy friends over girls and guys love me as a friend because i'm kind of like a guy in alot of ways. So it really all depends on the guy and girl involved.

Q: I have a Friend who introduce me to his Girlfriend and suddenly we bacame friends also but he started cheating on her and I told him the Right thing that he should do. Then he Got mad at. What should I do ?

Hm... It's like this. Imagine if you didn't know the girl's boyfriend and you and the girl are friends... but you saw him one day cheating on her... would you tell her? Even if she didn't ask, would you pull her to the side and be like i saw your guy on another girl? Honestly, your friend shouldn't be mad, he is in the wrong for what he is doing.

Q: Hey!I’m a 16 year old girl from New Jersey and I AM SO LONELY. Like I’ve been in relationships before but for not more than a couple months. I really would not want anything more than to be in a relationship with a guy for like a year or longer! However I’ve talked to guys in my town and who go to my school before, and I do not like anyone of them, they all do not know how to treat girl’s right and respectively. And any guy who does is already taken. I’m seriously so sick of being single and really want to meet some nice cute guys. I’ve tried some online dating sites, and all I found were horny males. That is defiantly the opposite of what I’m looking for. I have tried to have my friends from out of town hook me up with some of their friends, didn’t work. I try to be outgoing and fun in public, doesn’t work. I’m really not that picky, and I am told I’m really pretty and nice, I’m not prude, I don’t know what else to do,I just can’t find anyone, and waiting is just making me feel lonely as ever. Do you have any ideas as to how or where I could meet someone I can actually be in a relationship with??

OH MY GOD!!! Listen, im from Jersey and this is an example of why i don't associate with many jersey females. What you are being is desperate. You're loneliness has turned into desperation. You are only SIXTEEN!!! you don't need a relationship. I'm eighteen and let me tell you if you can't handle being single without feeling desperate and needing someone to love and care for you, you will never have a real relationship. Your desperation for somebody else to care and love for you is a cry that you don't love yourself... use this time being single to love yourself and do things that make you happy without a guy because i guarantee you'll end up in a good relationship, a lasting one once you've done that. But you're young so take your time you don't want to fall in love with a guy at 16, give him everything, then ten years later realize it was never love in the first place.

Q: I'm 15 and so is my boyfriend. He and I have been dating for about a month and 2 days now. I love him to pieces

This boy is controlling... that is a big NO-NO! And let's not forget his unwillingness to bend for you. If he *valley girl voice* "loved you to pieces" he wouldn't mind that you were busy with cheerleading and always need to be around, i mean it'd bother him a bit but he'd respect that and wouldn't break up with you over it. But like you said you're 15, you're young and in love. Don't let a guy stop you from doing what makes you happy.

Q: what qualities does girls like in men?

Depends on the girl, contrary to belief all girls aren't the same and neither are all guys. We all want and need different things.

Q: So there is a boy @ school that I. Have liked for 2 years... i m popular but way to snooty and spoiled for him! He's so cute and he isn't to popular for me! People say tht we would make a cute couple but he doesn't think any thing like tht of me! How do I get him to like me? I'm obviosly a girl and I'm in 7th grade.

Hahaha. I'm sorry. Was this a serious question? If anything, you don't deserve the boy. you just said you are way to "popular" for him... Oh lord. I hope this guy never likes you because for you to be all up on your high horse like that thinking your the "Queen" just because a bunch of other children want to be your "friend", expect alot of disappointments because popularity don't last forever and one day a guy you might like may be to "popular" for you.

Q: I want to help her, and I want to help me. How do I stop cutting my arm? She gave me this little metal sharp thing to cut myself; she uses hers too. She did it to help me because it is no sharper than a knife. Help!

You two honestly shouldn't be around each other if you are both are this unstable... but that is what benefits you. It is true many people who cut do it because they are depressed and feel alone. But you have a friend right there... feeling that same way... why not hang out. talk and vent to each other then both resorting to cutting. And you both should seek professional help, though that rubber band trick does work... alot of cutters will still cut because the rubber band just reminds me of the thrill they feel as if they usually get.

Q: i need help finding a nickname for my boyfriend

No one here can offer an answer for that. It's something you must pick out so that is special and close to your heart and his ONLY.

Q: im thirteen, girl. My crush for the past year is moving away! we are sorta friends. we talk if we sit next to each other in class (assigned seats) but it seems like he really likes talking to me. theres still about three months before he moves. do i tell him now, cuz i REALLY WANT TO! How do i do it? Can i just go up to him? And does he like me?
**????**

You mine as well tell him. He is leaving. You will never know if he liked you back or not, if you don't. Jump. Take the risk. But remember he is a crush, so watch it for the possible "crushing" part.

Q: He normally keeps to himself, and doesn't say anything during class, but ever since we started talking, he just talks more and more. sometimes it's almost like babbling, like he'll just say random things, and I'm the only one who sits right next to him, so I'm pretty sure they're directed at me. I talk to him, but when he starts babbling something random sometimes I don't know what to do and just smile at him or ignore it, and just like move my head, to acknowledge his words.

i'm really attracted to him (he's not ugly or anything, too but i think he's a bit insecure, but then again, so am I.), but I don't know. i thought guys were supposed to be shy around girls they liked "more than a friend"? but with him it's the opposite.

1. he pays attention to what I say
2. sometimes tries to make me laugh
3. always nice to me, and doesn't tease me or anything. we've never argued about anything, we usually think the same way
4. we actually have quite a bit in common. similar music and movie interests (outside of the mainstream), and we're both like nerdy, socially awkward loners.
5. we're still like strong acquaintances (or slightly friends) but I often feel like there's this strong sexual tension between us. our conversations are often a bit awkward
6. he quickly gives into favors I ask of him
7. once said a sexual joke to me (like PG-rated, though)

It's weird. How do I know if he's being friendly or what? If he looked up body language I think I've been pretty obvious that I really liked him, but with him, some of the things I've noticed, but not others, like him touching me or w/e, cause we're still relatively new to each other, and I'm not the most touchy-feely person (platonically. I'd love to make out with him, haha). i consider myself to be relatively attractive, too, if that affects anything.

I just don't know what to think about this situation and what not. I wouldn't ask him out or w/e because I have a big fear of rejection. I don't even know if I'm ready for a relationship. I don't even see him outside of school or anything, and I don't drive, so idk how that would really work. but I get a vibe that he likes me, but my brain is telling me that it isn't true, and I'm jumping the gun. idk if it's just my insecurity though. I've never been in a relationship, and I think my insecurities are partially to blame, actually. but I think this guy doesn't have much experience in the whole "romantic world" either

damn you teenage hormones

Well for one thing, you should be happy. He is obviously comfortable with you whether its on a friend level or a more then friend level. And it could be friendship, i mean every geek has friends to open up to, to talk to. But when you say rambling it kind of hints that he might like you. Like just wanting to talk to you or be acknowledged by you is good enough for him. But try hanging out as friends... see where it goes. You might make an awesome friend, or head on to a mutual crushing ;p

Q: i had sex..but it was not properly intercourse...and now there is a delay in my dates...so what should i do now

Take a pregnancy test. Not just once, but maybe twice or three times. TO double check because sometimes people don't double check. If you are definitely not pregnant, don't be surprised. Sex will throw off your period a little bit. Just wait for your next period which unfortunately you may never know what it comes and monitor it like normal. And every time it seems late just check.

Q: My boyfriend and i have been going out for a year now. I have come to accept the fact that he is just not the type who give gifts and all. But i thought at our first valentines together, he would at least give me something. I am not materialistic but im sure i am not the only one who wishes that our special someone will put some efforts in surprising us during special occasions. My birthday passed, Christmas and new year, the only gift he gave me is the couples ring we both buy for each other. Dont get me wrong, i know he loves me, i am certain of that. He knows how disappointed i was last valentines day because he led me to believe he is up to something. I am not wishing he'd be all hopelessly romantic, but on love days i really really wish he'd grow a tiny bone of romance.

I mean did you know he was this way before you start dating...? You can't force an unromantic guy to be romantic. You should talk to him though. But as you said you are certain he loves you, and even though because he loves you you're going to want him to go out of his way to show it or spring the mister romance side on you... that just might not be who he is. But you should be happy just being in a relationship where you are secure enough to know he loves you without all the extraness.

bio

Hey Everyone I'm Diamond.
And on here... expect the truth no matter how much it HURTS or you don't want to hear it.
I'm 18, your typical taurus. a mixed breed. a bisexual. a complete wierdo with a very straightforward blunt tomboyish attitude.

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