Hello, call me Abby =] I'm eighteen and a senior in high school this year. I've always had great advice, I'm just not so great at following it =P Feel free to ask me anything, I'll do my best to give you an answer.
Gender: Female
Age: 18
Member Since: February 10, 2007
Answers: 962
Last Update: May 3, 2012
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Ok, so I'm one of two lead singers in a punk band that's just starting out. I'm a girl and the other singer is a boy. Well when we rehearse, you can hear my co-singer's voice, because he manages to sing/scream loudly without sounding gross. But with me, either I'm just screaming obnoxiously or nobody can hear me over the drums. I've been singing my entire life and I've got professional training to back me up, but I just can't grasp the punk style volume.
How can I get volume and not sound gross?
Any advice is appreciated greatly *hint hint*
-K (link)
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Either turn your mike up, or pratice practice practice singing loudly and projecting your voice.
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I am just wondering if anyone else has this problem. For about the past month or so, I have not been able to fall asleep before the hours of 1:00 and 2:00 in the morning. Sometimes even later. I have a 9:00 class on MWF so this sleep schedule makes it very difficult for me to get up in the mornings. However, no matter what time I wake up in the morning, I'm unable to fall asleep at an early time. I could sleep about 5 hours total and not be able to fall asleep until 1am that next night. I don't normally take naps, I'm awake, tired & groggy all day up until 8 or 9 at night..then I'm wide-awake.
How does a person deal with this? Its like I have to completely exhaust myself before I can finally fall asleep. (link)
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Same problem for me. I go to bed at like 12:30-1 and wake up at 8, then usually at 5-6 I end up sleeping for an hour then it starts over. I've kind of gotten used to it even though it's not very convient or good for me. Sleeping pills arent great to be dependant on, so you could take Tylenol PM about 45 minutes before you want to go to sleep and do that until you find yourself going to bed at that time normally.
-Abby
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im black, and my mom said its not really a good idea for me to shave my leg hair.. i dunno why. i mean i already shave my armpits, but im not sure how to shave my legs because no one in my family really does it. but i kinda have hairy legs and its annoying sometimes to wear shorts and look very close at my legs.. they dont look bad, but the hair isnt that great, especially since its almost summer. um, im only 13 so i cant wax, so whats the best thing for me to use? be very specific with like the brand, so i can just go to like wal-mart, buy it, and use it. are there any downsides to shaving other than that you'll have to keep shaving the rest of your life (no big deal, i'll just get waxes when im older). cause like my mom doesnt think we should be that concerned with our appearance, which is why i havent gone shopping really in about a year (im so mad about that.. i really need a new skirt and 2007 spring clothing!), I dont have make-up (she wont buy it for us.. i hardly know how to put it on, too!), and she wont let me wax my eyebrows either.. I mean, if she just let me get an eyebrow wax I'll feel the greatest about my appearance, because I also kinda have a little unibrow.. well not really, but some stray hairs around the middle. unless.. should i pluck? i dunno how to do that either, and i dont wanna mess up and end up with like little or no eyebrows.
THANKS SO MUCH FOR HELPING,
YOU GET A VIRTUAL HUG! =] (link)
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There's nothing wrong with your mother feeling confident enough about herself that she doesnt think she needs to do things like shave, wax, wear makeup, etc. but not all women feel that way. Tell her that you don't need to be some beauty queen, but you would really feel a lot better about yourself if you could do some little things like get some new clothes, etc. Things will probably change since your only thirteen and it's not a big deal if your shaving/wearing makeup/waxing as it would be if you were older.
As for your shaving, the only downside is the possibility of getting nicks and cuts (which won't happen if you use new razors or blades and shave gel) and you also have to buy new supplies every once in a while.
You could use Nair if you don't want to shave. You can deffinitely get that at Wal-Mart, and in different scents and forms such as gel. It's not the best smelling though, so you have to wash it off pretty good. You just rub it on, let it sit for about five minutes, and wash it off. It works for me. It's like 4 $ for a bottle. You can even use nair on your eye brows, if your careful. Plucking is probably your best bet for precision.
-Abby
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okay so i have a couple questions about discharge :]
1. about how long should you have it. like ive had mine since like..6th grade and im in 8th now.
2. okay so do you have to wear a pantyliner thing when you have discharge. like me i ussaully just wear my underwear because i have discharge EVERY SINGLE DAY. and like its kinda a waste to get pads and shioot. so yeah. i just thro it in the wash.
3. okay this kinda has to due with the question up there. like.. since i have discharge every day. is that like normal? i mean like i dont get it when i get my period obvouisly but like.. i have it any other time. just like always. so yeah. is that normal or what?
thankkkkkkkkkkkkkkyou. :] (link)
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It's all normal. You'll probably get discharge your whole life, until after menopause. You don't HAVE to use panty liners, but some people perfer incase of leaks or just staining their panties.
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Im going to the movies with a bunch of my friends, and my boyfriend's friends. Everyone has a date they're going with and my friend Ali is totally flipping out because I told her I can't sit by her at the movies. I promised my other friend, Beth, that I would sit by her. My boyfriend Dane is sitting on the other side of me so I can't sit by both Ali and Beth.
I really think it's totally stupid that Ali is making a big deal over who I sit by, but she's one of my best friends and she feels like I like Beth more than her and she thinks she'll be so left out at the movies.
I need some way to make Ali happy, because I don't want everything at the movies ruined. (link)
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The reason she's mad is because you guys are making a deal of it. I mean, do you need a seating chart? When you get there, sit down, and thats that. That way no one will feel screwed over.
-Abby
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ok so everytime i have my period i get bloated. im a skinny person so when i get bloated i look pregnant. im not exaggerating, ill gain about 3 inches on my waist when im bloated. are there any foods to reduce bloating? why do woman get bloated when we have our periods? (link)
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Most women suffer PMS, it's just your hormones being out of whack, and unforetunately bloating is a symptom. Cut salt out of your diet. Salt makes you retain water normally, especially when your on your period.
-Abby
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ok, so i'm 15/f and i'm gay, it's not too big a deal in my community, but i am still worried about coming out because there are some people who would kind of shun me and such. Anyways, there is this girl who is 17 and she's a lesbian, and i kind of like her, but that doesn't really matter because she has a girlfriend and i would never want to come between them. anyways, i kind of would like to just talk to her about it and stuff because i look up to her a lot, and the only person i can talk to is my best friend, who is cool with me being gay, but not too helpful since she's straight.
anyhow, this 17 year old girl thinks i'm straight probably and i want to start dropping hints, not just towards her, to everyone that i'm gay because i really dont want to just come out and say it.
what should i do? wear, act, say.......??? please help, I feel like if i just said i was gay I would lose some of my friends, and also because people would be like, so what we don't care, like it doesn't matter enough to just announce it, lol
ok if anyone-gay or straight, has any tips for dropping hints that would be awesome.
thanks in advance, if I don't like your advice i won't rate you bad i promise (link)
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It really is better just to come right out with it. If you become the steriotyipcal gay guy, people will start nasty rumors and you'll just be teased for it. Just wait for it to come up in a conversation, like if someone asks you if you have a girl in mind, etc. Tell the girl. Since she's a lesbian, Im sure she'll understand what your going through.
-Abby
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im white, not ghostly white but white. ive been going tanning for like 2 months now and ive gotten a little tanner. im going to chicago at the end of may for a wedding and for some reason i want to be a lot tanner by then lol. i know tanning is bad already, but is going tanning every other day really bad? i just really want to get tan and going every couple of days isnt enough. and everytime i take a shower i get whiter, its dumb. (link)
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Don't tan every other day, it's just bad for your health. It takes your skin (especially white skin) time to soak in light and get color (just like in the sun) so you'll probably start seeing a bigger difference soon. But you should probably increase the time your in the bed by a minute or two to see results.
Spray tan? Comes out right away and won't damage your skin.
-Abby
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I have a strapless dress for prom this year. Should I buy like, a little shrug or jacket to go with it to cover myself up while I'm at dinner and whatnot? I'm not used to/too comfortable showing that much skin.
Thanks=) (link)
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Sure :) A shrug or a shawl will be a good thing to have when going, leaving, looking fancy for pictures, and when your outside (it gets pretty cold in a dress). The second you start dancing it'll come off, anyway.
-Abby
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Me and my cousin have so much in common and we get along great. But he drops hints that makes me think he wants to be more.
1. He always invites me to party's with his friends and we play spin the bottle. IDK how he does it but he always gets it to land on me.(Which is awkward)
2. Its normal for us to sleepover but I have to sleep in his room and he sometimes comes to the floor to sleep next to (or sometimes on top) of me
3. We are both 16 and IDK what to say to him since we go to the same school, play the same sports, and shop at the same places. It;s weird
NEED GOOD ADVICE PLEASE!!!! (link)
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I really doubt your cousin has a romantic relationship in mind with you. It's like good guy/girl friendships, it can be flirty, but doesn't lead to anything. It sounds like you guys are more like friends then cousins, so it makes sense. And it's not like your incestual or anything.
If your still kinda freaked, try talking to him about girls and see if there are any he likes. Even offer to introduce him to one of your friends. He'll get the message.
-Abby
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How can you tell if you are in love with someone?
Thanks!
(link)
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There is no definition of love thats surefire, but there is a general feeling.
When you see the person, your stomach jumps and your heart "flutters". You feel safest in their arms, you feel complete with them. It just feels generally right. There is also a feeling of exhilaration of just being in love. Like euphoric.
I wrote this in a blog entry a while ago, and I don't know if it's any help, but here:
"I was assigned to write a little dinky poem about opposites. That also got me thinking. I was going to write about love, but than realized there is no deffinite opposite for a word that contradicts itself constantly.
Finding love is considered hard, but falling in love is so easy. Staying in love is difficult, but falling out of it is painful. Love can be so extruciating and harsh and make you want to kill yourself, yet it makes life worth living for some. It's an indescribable feeling of delight, of wanting to spin around in joy while holding tight to your partners arms, bursting to the brim with passion. But when something takes a bad turn, it's like you've been thrown off a four story building and landed with a nice splat. Nothing seems worth it anymore when just the other day life was open to you. An aching feeling in the pit of your stomach replaces the urge to squeal in happiness, and your heart literally hurts. The most wondrous feeling is to be wanted, and the most diastrous feeling is to be unwanted. So simple to trip but so hard to get up. How can that have one definite opposite? It isn't hate. I have learned the hard way that it is not hate. It's just... broken."
-Abby
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So i'm the kind of girl when i was younger fell for older guys and everything they said..and i learned the hard way with those expierences. One of my boyfriends went to prison and so when we broke up it was really easy for me to get over that..because i never got to talk to him, see him, anything! so it was really simple for me. But when i was just a jr i started liking a sophmore, i took things nice and slow with him cause i had learned from past that would be probably be better. We got together a couple weeks after hanging out and dating. We had our ups and downs we weren't to serious at the beginning. As summer came we got really serious. We hung out every day we loved eachother so much, we did everything together went golfing bowling boating swimming typical things couples do when in love. and 8 months into our relationship we had sex. it was perfect. He didn't take my virginity but i took his. But i made sure it was what he wanted before we did anything. After that we were even more closer and even more in love..it seemed to perfect but it was reality so it was even better. we kept having sex for about 2 months then decided to stop cause he wanted to become clean so he could go on a mission..LDS thing. it lasted for a month. then we kept having sex after. everything was great. but then sex became everything to him not so much me. he broke up with me a month and a half ago. I was the one who had the harder time with it. he is fine..moved on likes another girl. but i can't get my mind off of him.. whY? why is it that i was his first love..but he can forget about me so easily? But i have the harder time..?
Sorry so long. but its hard to sum up a relationship of over a year!
--thanks:] (link)
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He might be having a harder time then you think. I don't think it's ever paticularly easy to move on from a relationship of over a year. It sounds like he's trying to get over you by moving onto another girl. Really, it all depends how much he put into the relationship and how much you did (physically and emotionally). Some people also hold onto things a lot longer and find it hard to let go, others easily toss things away when their done with it. It might also be easier for him to let go because it was his first love, and as he matured, he just grew out of it. It doesn't matter why, it just matters that you are okay. It's fine to take your time to move on, but don't let this hold you back. Take it step by step and slowly you'll find yourself letting go. It's deffinitely good to get back in the dating world, but not to fast. It may seem hard now, but I promise, it will get easier.
-Abby
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Hi,
So first let me give you some background information on my situation. In late November I started hanging out with this boy lets call him Steve. So Steve and I hit it off great, I mean he acted like he liked me so much. Everyday he would text me while I was at school ( I'm 16, he's 19) & then he'd call me right after he got off work and then he'd come pick me up and we'd hangout. Well this went on for awhile and then one day he asked me if i wanted to have sex..i said "no!" i wasnt offended i just wasnt ready for this..well about 3 weeks into our relationship i knew i wanted to have sex & so we did. we did twice and then over christmas i went on vacation. we barely talked the whole time i was gone and when i got back we hung out twice, haviing sex for the 3rd time. Well then one weekend I called him and he didn't answer..never called me back or anything. I didn't hear from him for 3 months.. During the time we'd hung out I liked him but I wasn't as crazy about him as I'd become until after he'd blown me off.. Well after 3 months I ran into him again.. and we started hanging out 3 weeks ago. He doesn't act as in to me, but we still hangout alot because we now have mutal friends. I'm so scared he's going to hurt me again.. I'm crazy about him. How do I get him to fall for me..?
p.s. his brother commited suicide a few years ago, so he has some hang ups about getting attached.. but i need him HELP!
-sorry this was so long...
--me. (link)
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Many times girls find that after they have sex, when they weren't ready especially, it wrecks the relationship with their partner. You lose the emotional aspect by taking the physical road and don't know where or how to move from there. And some people just spread apart. Or things just get boring, and everything seems done. People change, grow up, and grow apart. Sometimes friendships and relationships just don't fit anymore.
It doesn't matter how you two spread apart, but if you want to have a relationship with him, you kind of have to start over. Ask him if he wants to hang out, just to catch up. Be friendly, non-intimidating, and no pressure. See if you still hit it off with him. This will also give you the oppurtunity to find out more of whats going on in his life. Get more involved and spend more time together, leisurely at first, but try to grow closer. Try having some deep coversations. If you tell a little about yourself, he'll do the same.
Try really talking to him after you've become really comfortable with each other as people and as friends. Ask what happened with each other. Tell him how you feel. Cliche as it is, communication really is key. Open your heart, and hope he'll do the same. That's really all you can do, and hope for the best. If you were meant to be, things will pan out if your both willing to try.
Good luck,
-Abby
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I have been doing gymnastics for basically my whole life. I thought that it basically defined me until this year, when I joined track. I'm a really good sprinter, and hurdler. I qualified for states in both events, and it's my first year. The problem is next year, my brother is going off to college so my mom is getting a full-time job. I won't be able to get my lisence for another two years, so there is no way I could drive my self to sports, but my mom said she would only have time to drive me to one. Plus, I'm going to need to get a job. My question is, what would be a better choice? (in your opinion, I don't care if I should do what my heart desires, because I have NO IDEA!) haha. but back to that point, would it be a better choice to stick with the sport I know and am good at, though I might not excel as much as it, along with all of the friends I have made throughout my time in that sport? Or should I continue on with the sport I will undoubtedly go far in? Please tell me why you chose the sport as well. Thank you very much! (link)
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From personal experience, I wish I stuck with what I began with. I started dance at a young age and did it for years, but got a little bored and wanted to do something new. I quit, and never found anything to devote myself to as much as dance. Soon I was behind (it's deffinitely easy to get out of shape for gymnastics and behind, because it was really easy for ballet)and had to take classes with kids a couple years younger then me. I never really got back into it. Gymnastics has been your passion for a long time, I don't think finding one thing new will change that. You could do track things by yourself and not on a team considering that'd be less time consuming, but gymnastics you can't really safely do without the help of a coach.
You can go as far as you want in either sport, it all depends on the time, effort, and heart you put into it. Many atheletes didn't start out on pure talent, they found something they liked and worked on it. But if your not trying to excel far, go with what you'll have more fun with and love.
Good luck
-Abby
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Ok I know it's too early for me to ask these questions but just to make sure:
Why do girls get saggy boobs?
Do only girls with big breats get saggy boobs?
Is there a way to prevent it? Excercise? Foods?
What age will it be saggy? (link)
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DO NOT listen to babycakes. That info was pretty much false.
Wearing a bra or not won't determine your ending breast size
Not wearing a bra your whole life yes will make you kind of saggy but it is not the main cause
As women age, it is natural for their breasts to sag. It just happens. Some people sag a lot, some very little, and even more people you cant tell because they have a lifting bra or they get surgeries to reduce the saggy appearence like a lift or implants.
Staying fit will help you in many ways, and even in this aera (a large person will have saggy-er breasts)
Large breasted people are more prone to be saggy, but people with small ones can still sag.
Usually before menopause they'll start sagging, mid to late 30s and up. It really all depends on your body.
-Abby
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i see a lot of people that have these rings:
http://www.babynamesofireland.com/images/pu_images/claddagh_ring_pu.jpg
and they look really cute and i want one of those rings but i looked at a lot of places but i cant find them? where can i get them and how much are they cost? (link)
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Aww, those are claddaghs. I've got plently of them, being all irish. It symbolizes love and friendship. You can find them at Irish Festivals, online, irish magazines (we subscribe to a lot of them) and I've even seen them in the mall. Specialty stores would more likely have them. They can be pretty cheap, depending on the metal its made out of. I've had some in gold that are obviously expensive, but silver is pretty inexpensive.
-Abby
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i need to know how do i know when my husband is pleased with me sexually? my husband is my best friend but at the same time i need to blow his mind on a sexual level, and need to keep him totally happy as he has me. can any body help me? (link)
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Ask him! Most men are more than happy to improve their sex lives, and tell you what feels good. So ask him to honestly tell you if you are a good sex partner. You can deffinitely blow his mind if you try. There are books, sites, stores, and even people dedicated to helping peoples sex lives. So use the technology you have (and your husband) and really blow his mind.
Good luck!
-Abby
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I have been online dating for over a year with this guy from germany. And im from there. so it doesnt really make a difference. I know oline dating is scary..and blablabl..please dont tell me how to be careful because i know all that. But recently, he stopped writing me. he keeps telling me he will tell me all later about all his problems, and i should keep writing even though he cant always answer. But evertime he writes he asks why i dont write. Im fed up writing him, because he never tells me what is going on. He used to tell me evrything. Something is wrong with financial or so, but i dont know. Is he cheating? should i write? what should i do to tell him i really love him, and i that i dont care how old he is, that i really want more. How do i tel lhim i miss him, and that i really love him, even if he sees me just as a friend. please help.. i WILL RATE! (link)
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You two have a communication gap, and thats not uncommon with long distance relationships. Only serious, open, and honesnt communication will solve your problems. Write him a heartfelt letter. Tell him, calmly of course, exactly how you feel, and ask how he feels. Let him know your hurt and mad and just want to make your relationship better. If he really cares about you, he will understand.
Good luck,
-Abby
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i want sweat pants like the sweats that ciara is wearing in the background of this site:
http://www.myspace.com/ciara
where can i get sweat pants that look like this? (link)
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There just plain grey men's sweat pants (deffinitely mens because they are thick, baggy and not fitted, and have pockets. So comfy!)with shorts or boxers under them. Basically any largr chain stores you can probably find them at. The shorts underneath will be harder to find, so you might have to pick a different pattern.
Good luck!
-Abby
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for one of my classes, i need to make a short movie. but the problem is, i dont have a camcorder or nething like that. is there nething inexpensive to use? if there isnt, what do you suggest neways?
**my teacher said the movie MUST be on a VCR tape, not a camcorder tape** (link)
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You can buy a disposible camcorder at like walmart, I believe. I dont think its REALLY expensive or anything.
-Abby
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