iiLOVEyoux0o's advice column

ask me anything thats what i`m here for! don`t hold back..i`m very straightfoward and honest giving my advice. it might not be the best or maybe you dont like it but sometimes people need to hear the truth once in their life. so rate me whatever you like. my name is alexxa my friends call my lex or lav and i`m 13 years old. i`m going into my 8th grade year at school and with that comes a lot of drama. i have the most best; best friend in the world! her name is julia and we are inseperable. i`m not exactely sure what "clique" i`m in, but most of my friends are pretty cool. im sort of a prep but i don`t like to get dressed up too often..jeans and a tank is good enough for me. my favorite stores are aeropostle and american eagle. i play basketball, softball, soccer, and run track and corss country. i`m don`t play an instrument because i`m not cordinated enought to. i`m really irish so dont diss the green. i live in south buffalo, new york where almost everyone is irish and if your not your well..not cool. i`m also polish, and scotish. i`m sort of a music whore but whatever..i love greenday, the click five, fall out boy, all-american rejects, and lifehouse, gwen stefeni, will smith, DMT,. some of my favorite songs are: just the girl, be my escape, cool, wake me up when september ends, american idoit, sugar we're going down, drop it like its hot, and golddigger. i love to travel also, i`ve been to sao paulo, brazil -laguna beach, california -hong kong, china and a bunch of other places. i`d love to go to ireland, paris, wales, england, and york someday. i love getting questions in my inbox so go ahead and ask. i`m better with the lovelife, friendships advisory but ask me anything you`d like. i perfer longer questions to short ones but will answer any if you just ask. i love decriptive questions..takes a load off my back. they are easier to answer too..so please if you need advice..ask me. [Attention Columnists..if you are rad and add me as one of your favs..i`ll return the compliment =D] if you need to im me, my screename is ixi l0ve y0u x0o. EVERYONE PLEASE PRAY FOR THE PEOPLE IN NEW ORLEANS AND ALL THE OTHER PLACES HURRICANE KATRINA HIT! THEY NEED YOUR PRAYERS!--->xOxO

advice

I suspect my dad has bipolar disorder. Being around him, when he's going through his manic stages, is like being in a cult. He will tell people crazy things, apparantly from God. He told three different people that their child is not there's. He even told my brother that his uncle was his real father, yet my uncle denies it. My dad said he would not believe a paternity test. He tells me he knows the truth about all things and that one day he'll tell me. It's very scary sometimes.

I know he does drugs, because people have seen him do it. He will take speed while reading the bible, and go days without sleeping or eating. He smokes pot a lot because I can smell it. He's doing these drugs right in front of my mother, who has MS and is an involent. She can't speak or eat or move or even keep eye contact. My dad constantly takes care of her because he refuses to put her in a nursing home or let anyone else watch her. I think this is one of the reasons he's getting worse and worse. He's lost pretty much all contact with the outside world.

He will be fine one minute, then the next be completely irrational and snap at me and my 14 year old brother. My brother is becoming depressed because of how my dad treats him. He does not want to go to school or hang out with friends. All he wants to do is sleep or get out of the house. My dad sucked my brother into believing that if they prayed hard enough, it would cure my mother. I can only imagine how this made my brother feel when nothing happened.

I am worried about my dad, but I am also worried about my confused, messed up brother. My family constantly bad-mouths my dad, who bad-mouths them back. My brother feels like he has no one to turn to, and he doesn't know who to believe. I can tell my brother has been heavily brain-washed by my dad because when I try to talk some sense into him, he just spews out something my dad has said to him.

My dad thinks he's right about everything, and will not listen to anyone who tries to help him. Once he asked my cousin if the family is going to let him be crazy, so I think sometimes he does know that he has a problem. But he won't let anyone help him! I also think my brother needs to be moved to a better environment, but he isn't as strong as me as says he wouldn't leave dad.

I am 19 years old and searching for a full time job so I can get my own apartment. One of the reasons I did not go to college was because I didn't want to leave my brother with my dad. I don't know what I can do for my brother since he does not want to move, and I'm too afraid that if I take legal action or speak up, my mom will be moved to a nursing home. My dad treats mom so well, it's just himself and everyone else that he needs to work on! I know how bad nursing homes are because my mother was in one for a few years and some of her things got stolen and she would get sick a lot because they didn't understand how to take care of her like my dad does.

I'm so torn and confused, I feel like there's no answer that wouldn't leave us in shambles, but if you have any advice, I would appreciate it!

Dear Asker, I can really help you here. My sister has Bipolar disorder. She is sometimes fine and working. But then, she becomes very nappy and mean. The only advice I can give you is to encourage your father into seeing a doctor. Everyone didn't believe that my sister had a disease for 21 years. She is now 22. When she was living in California seh got diagiosned with Bipolar. The doctors say she has had it for a very long time but no one noticed because they thought she was being a teenage brat. But the medication does help, although my sister never wants to take it, when she does it helps a load! So try to encourage your father to go to the doctors, if he is diagiosned just make sure he takes the medication and if he does I am sure your mother will be able to stay with your father. If your father isnt Bipolar but has some other type of disease...my best bet would be skitofrainia (not sure on the spelling). Theres a movie called "A Beautiful Mind" Starring Russell Crowe ...I would suggest you watch it to understand Bipolar and Skitofrania...its a sad movie, but it helped me understand what the disease is about. If you need any other advise..just ask me a question and I'll get back to you. I hope everything works out. Best wishes xOxO-->Alexxa [♥]

[PS] Your father is probably under a lot of stress helping your mother, stress can trigger bipolar. He could either be bipolar or skitsofranic stress triggers both. But if he dosent want to get better I suggest you call Crisis Services , they can you & your brother teach you how to cope, and handle the pressure, because it sounds as if you are in danger of becoming depressed also. Look in your phone book or call the operater for the phone number for Crisis Services..it may be called something else though. But it should be on the first page of your phone book. I really hoped I helped you in some way. I hope everything goes alright. Much love, xOxO-->Alexxa