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About you: You have come here because you are searching for someone to help you. Everyone needs help now and again. My mission is to make a difference in the lives of others.

About me: Expert Listener, Nurturer, Chat with me and we will "make a way, find a way" to get through things together. I offer advice in Parenting, Loneliness, Nurturing, Friendship, Relationships, and some areas of medicine. If you have needs that are beyond my scope of expertise, I will redirect you to someone who can and will help you.


Education: Completion of nursing school, many specialty certificates, ranging from Emergency Medical Tech to Scrub Nurse. 25 + years of clinical experience, Mother of 5 and life coach to hundreds.

advice

thursday morning i went to the health clinic at my school for a pelvic exam & i was told i have a yeast infection, which came as a surprise because i've had no itching/burning/redness/anything unusual whatsoever. they gave me two pills to take, one that day and one to take the following thursday. my question is how long will this take to heal? obviously i have no idea how long it's been going out since i have no symptoms, and because its the weekend i can't call to ask. i'm home from school for the weekend and wanted to spend time with my boyfriend but now i'm not sure what to do.

I am seeing that you did not receive a timely answer from anyone, but I still have answers for you, even after the weekend is over. Are you still wondering? Let me know, I am a frequent yeast infection survivor and know some tips on recognizing and avoiding them in the future as well.

Specific to your boyfriend, you want to avoid physical contact below the belt for awhile (a few days to a week) after you have taken the pills because it takes about a week for things to go back to their natural state physically. There is a strong possibility that he too may need to be treated, you may be giving it back to one another without knowing. Many over the counter preparations are perfectly fine for treating future infections, if you happen to know that you are having them. As for your boyfriend, have him get something for "jock itch" like a spray or cream, and treat himself for a few days, following the directions on the packaging. You can heal at the same time and try to break the cycle of an ongoing gift, lol.

Hope this helps.

Please let me know what happens, and rate me as I can only receive questions directed to me if I can establish a certain number of positive ratings.

Thanks and have a great day.

Dear Susie

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i want to get more mental strength .now i take one desesion strongly but after some days it will disappeare .i faced a lot of incidents like that .i want a strong mental power and strong desesion .what will i do

Being a good decision maker takes practice. Let's talk about a few specific examples and how and why your decisions changed. It may very well be that it was the right decision TO change your original thinking. Write back with some more information. Thanks.

Dear Susie

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14-f

so in my class at school there are these 2 boys an were really good mates. and latley i have started to like them as more than a friend uf you know what i mean. but is it right to like both of them ?

Keep it in perspective too. Everyone likes the confidence of being liked exclusively, so pick one that you like more, is more likely to return your feelings, and push a little harder with him to have a few private moments to talk in person. Talk about "nothing" but just get the "time" in with him so that he sees you are intersted.

Back to your question, yes it is expected that you should like more than one person at a time. Even after you are married, you will be "seeing others arond you", married but not dead I like to say to keep it in perspective. Its human nature to be interested in others and the way their attention makes us feel about ourselves. It is what we do with those feelings, or action, or inaction, when appropriate, that make the full measure of your moral character.

This is the time to practice, the whole point in dating is to get good at it and learn about yourself. Go for it, try not to hurt anyone in the process!

Let me know what happens. Also, if you wouldn't mind rating me, I won't get questions sent directly to me until I have accumulated a certain number of ratings.

Have a great day.

Dear Susie

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i have been working at my job for about a year and a half and it used to be fun, but over the past couple of months it's just started to become more and more negative in my life. i have enough stress with school and other things, i don't want to dread going to work. i thought by maybe taking another position within my work might change my views on everything, but i've barely been training back there and it already seems like it's going to be horrible. i went to the mall the other day and noticed alot of places are hiring. i grabbed a couple applications and are going to be turning them in within the next couple of days.

i mean, i know how to quit my job, i am just going to write a brief note apologizing, but thanking them for everything but i can no longer work there and such. but it's the new position that i'm bothered by (i'm still working on my old position until i'm ready to take on the new one, i've hardly trained back there ). i'm not sure if just for now, until i actually get a new job, should just explain to them that i am not comfortable working back in the new place and would just like to remain in my old one ( for now ). i just feel bad because they need people in that work area and so i offered and i feel like i'm just like,"ok i'll do it, oh you know what on second thought, nevermind!" but i feel like it'd be better to stop NOW while i'm not technically depended on back there cause i'm still training so they can continue looking for other people cause i think they're hiring others as well. i just don't like disappointing people and i feel like i'll make them angry and i'm just not sure how to go about it.


any advice?

You have some very excellent instincts. Trust them. Yes, you should let them know right away that you are uncomfortable back there in the new position, before they invest more time and money in training you on something you despise. Finding a new job while still employed is an excellent idea, and the standard for giving notice is the length of your paycheck. So if you get paid every 2 weeks, you give 2 weeks notice. Don't be surprised if they don't use your notice and let you leave immediately, and don't personalize it. They may have a management policy on that very subject, and find it less of a risk to let people leave immediately. (usually they are avoiding potential theft or talking others into leaving their jobs as well).

Let me know how it goes, and please rate me as I will not be able to get questions directed to me until I have a certain number of positive ratings.

Thanks!

Have a great day,

Dear Susie

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I've liked this kid for about 3 years now, never had the guts to tell him because we are friends and if he didn't feel the same it would be too awkward. All the girls love him, but me and him have always had a special bond. He would never disrespect me, he treats me so good .. but I never know if he is doing it because we're friends or he likes me as something more. He will give me signs that he likes me, but I don't know if it's just flirting. He doesn't text me often, or ask to hang out much although he is so busy with sports .. but maybe he is just different with me, or even intimidated since I am a year and a half older.

Anyway last night my cousin (who is his good friend) was talking to his girlfriend, who thinks this guy is sooo hot. My cousin told his girlfriend .. you will never be able to get with him becasue he likes three girls. Two of them are my cousins, one being lindsay (which is me). You should have seen my face light up, but I didn't want to be like OMG ARE YOU SERIOUS, like some little middle school girl. I just played it off but now it makes me wonder. Me and this guy have been physical before, just touchy feely, really physical flirting, not sex or anything like that but we keep all that a secret from my cousin. My cousin doesn't know I like him, but now i'm wondering if this is true. He always tells me how all the guys say how he has two hot cousins. On the other hand .. what if he was just saying that so his girlfriend would stop?

I just don't want to ask my cousin because I don't want him to know i like him and if I ask he will be like why?? And I don't want to look like an idiot asking the guy if it's true because if it's not i'll look completely dumb.

I just can't stop thinking about that maybe he DOES like me..

Wow, a little complicated in number of persons in your story. Let me know if I have the main players right. You and this guy.

That is an issue right there. You are stuck in teenage mentality that you don't wanna go out on a limb for fear of rejection. I totally get that. Don't expect a busy person to be interested in doing much texting or relationship via email or facebook, for the most part. He seems like he is a straight shooter who is looking for that first hint from, you.

The question is, how to go about protecting yourself and your friendship from hurt if you are wrong.

So, if it were me, and not knowing your age mind you, I would make it clear to him that I adore him as a friend and he is special. Make him feel good by reinforcing his strengths and talents, and this attention will leave him wondering, too, if you like him back.

Try to get some alone time together, casual and platonic, to get to know each other more intimately, the real person behind the face. Suggest something in a public place, if you drive that is easier than if you are younger. Your public place may need to be cokes on the football field benches if you don't drive. Make an excuse to talk to him alone, even if you are stretching. Like, I have a question about (some common area of interest) and you want his opinion on it. See if it leads you to that path where you can both see specificly that each likes the other enough to investigate the friendship/relationship intimacy further.

Keep it light and casual, until you are really communicating face to face easily with him. Then you can avoid ruining a friendship and getting hurt.

Please let me know how it goes. Also, please rate me as I cannot get questions directed to me on this site until I have collected a certain number of positive ratings.

Have a great day, and good luck!

Dear Susie

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I really really really like these sandals

http://www.amazon.com/Women-27s-Merona-Eleora-Flat-Sandals/dp/B001OMC4M0/ref=pd_sbs_shoe_1

but I can't find them in my size (8 or 8.5) Does anyone know a site where I can get these shoes that are in my size

Please don't say Target...it's by Target and Amazon delivers them.

I can help you. The issue is that Merona is an exclusive brand of Target. But that doesn't mean others won't buy and resell them on their sites.

I have found a few sites and the links are below:

http://www.shopstyle.com/browse?fts=white+flat+sandals

http://www.beso.com/flat-sandals/search?rf=bys

You may need to switch brand names if you are intent on NOT using Amazon. What is your issue with buying through Amazon/Target anyway, just curious. Have you had a bad experience. I used to be a customer service manager at Target, and we would take returns and exchanges all the time from people who bought stuff from us/Amazon online. Keep all your paperwork tidy, all receipts and delivery tickets in order, and you will have everything you need to exchange or refund if necessary, in person, at a a local Target store. Good luck.

Please rate my advice, I need to get 5 people to rate me or I won't be on the list of advisors.

Thank you,

and good luck finding those perfect sandals for a comfy summer!

Dear Susie

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For the past 2-3 years I have found myself stuck in a rut. I have not been able to focus on anything, and I constantly seem to be wasting time. I am interested in just about everything under sun, yet I can never stick to doing one thing long enough for me to make substantial progress.

I used to spend ALL my time playing MMORPGs, yet they no longer entertain me. I haven't been able to find anything that could hold my attention since I quit. A lot of people say I am talented in about everything I do, yet still... for some reason it is difficult for me to simply focus.

It has gotten to the point where I can't stand it. Everyone around me is making progress, yet i stay in the same place, just doing different things. Someone who can do everything moderately well is useless in a specialized world. I want to find some sort of specialization. Something I could pour my blood, sweat, and tears into.

Advice?

Good morning. Yes, I think a live chat online with you would be in order. I have a number of questions that will give me a much better idea where you are in life and what direction to send you.

Please let me know the following information, at your convenience: Age, job (if any) previous jobs (if any) marital status, relationship status, areas of interest outside of the computer.

Thats a good start. Then we can set up a time to IM or something to get a little further down the path.

Looking forward to working through this with you,

Dear Susie

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I've just discovered the greatness of the Pirates of the Caribbean movies, a few years late I know, but it sparked an interest in me so are there any good books or websites (preferably websites) that have the history of pirates, and the women of the time?

thanks!

I would begin your search with terms like "women in historical fiction" and "women in historical non-fiction". This may get you to sites that "sell" books, but if you look deeply enough in your google (or any search engine) pages, you will find more meat and potatoes that just haven't paid for the top billing answers. Try page 3 and 4 of your search results and you should find those websites.

Good luck, and let me know what happens.


Also, please do me the favor of giving me a rating. Until I have 5 ratings with the site, I will not get questions from others directed to me, as I understand it. And I would like to help as many people as possible.

Thanks!

Dear Susie

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So the past 2 days I have been at home because I had surgery I usually go to my gfs house. Well lately she has been going to her ex's house and picking up her daughter, because her daughter and my gfs son was close. Thats cool but she goes to get her and then shes there til like 10pm my gf barely texts me and the little girl lives 5 mins away but it takes her an hour to text me back. I am not jealous but concerned and she said she texted her ex sayin thank you for letting "mary" come over is she texting her more and if the girl is there for my gfs son then why is she barely texting me? she says shes not doing nothing wrong and dont seem why im upset??

I am interested in helping you, I think I can if I have a little more information. The relationships are blurry to me. Can you explain the players in the story better to me like, I am "bob or pam" and my gf is "kate" and her ex is "mike or kimmy" and then I can really get a grip on what is going on. Thanks for taking the time to give me a clearer view.

Dear Susie

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hey i am a 19/f. i've posted 2 questions about this guy in my class. well anyways, he's weird. he doesn't really talk to me. i can't seem to ever seem to start a conversation. and outside of class as well. whenever he sees me outside of class he always smiles at me. i mean ALWAYS. we talked on facebook a few times but about art appreciation class. i was in his group one day when we had to to do review groups. this girl was asking us what painter painted this piece and i answered it partly & then he gave the rest of the answer. & i noticed in our group he was trying to take charge, which usually something i like to do. and also when i asked him what imperialism was he told me what it was, and i kind of was texting someone. & then he was like well aren't your going to write it down? which at first i thought was kind of rude, but i don't k now if he's interested in me. or if i should even try to make conversation with him, or if i do what would i say? please help. thanks.

You definitely have an admirer here. He sounds shy and inexperienced. Many people come from homes that aren't filled with social interaction and opportunities to practice social graces in talking to other people.

His quick "arent you going to write it down" cut down was unintended, I think, to be a cut down. He wanted all of your attention and you were distracted.

If that is the worst thing, I mean, if he seems nice and polite at other times, there is a lot he can learn from a friendship with you. Perhaps there is a shining gem in the middle of that slightly rough stone.

Encourage a friendship with him, in person if possible as well as on facebook (the messaging kind that is more private) and lead him down that path to confidence in your friendship. You will get to know the real guy inside as he trusts you more. You may or may not like what you discover, but that is the best way to find out who he is. From your discription, he sounds like he is into you, and doesn't know what to do or say next. Be the one to make the next move. Something casual, public, but maybe not in the group you hang with. That might make him too uncomfortable to be himself. Go for coffee to discuss his project and you can brainstorm with him. Give him a little intimacy with something that doesn't really give you away, like, not your life story or your most recent boyfriend, but maybe a childhood memory that was good and relate it to something current, something positive and happy.

People like to be around confident happy people. Teach him, and give him a little of your time, I think you will be richly rewarded!

Let me know what happens, okay?

Also, until I am new on this site and until I have gotten ratings from 5 individuals, I won't get the opportunity to help others very often. Please take a moment to rate me. I appreciate it! Check back with other questions anytime. I am here for you.

Dear Susie

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19/female. First year in college.

I like this guy, he recently turned 18, and he is a senior in high school. He is bascially the star of the school with sports - especially hockey. Well my cousin plays on the same team as him and so me and my friend are going to watch him saturday, and after that my old school plays so we are going to stay for that. I'm just worried it may be awkward because this guys ex girlfriend who he was with for 3 years, is going to be there. I've met her a few times when they were dating, but I just don't know how to act if he is with her after their game, and stays for the second game. I haven't talked to him in about two weeks, and haven't seen him in about a month. I'm sooo shy around him, and he is not. He is a popular guy, hes funny and all the girls just stare at him because they think he is adorable.

What should I do if he is with his ex girlfriend and his friends and her friends who I do not like? Most likely, he won't come up to me if he is with her which would be even more awkward. Ughhh awkward situations..

Take the football game scenario lightly. No actual relationship progress can be made in a group of people. You need to brainstorm with friends, kind of a a "find a way, make a way" to be near him in a more close/ private situation. No, don't stalk him, but if he volunteers or often shops at xyz store or works at xyz store, bump into him casually and make it look like you arent REALLY interested. Boys like a challenge, a sure thing is no fun. Half the fun is the chase, be something he wants to know more about. Be friendly and potentially available, not all over him. Good luck and let me know how it happens.

Dear Susie

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Hannah is my bro's feiance. She is a bad situation at her house and when she turns 18 wants to move in with me. Im ok with her living with me but I will expect certain things from her like going to school and having a job. Do you think expections would be a bad thing and if not what should I expect out of her?

There are many real life situations where living with a person or alternate family can be a very valuable teaching lesson for growing up and accepting responsibility. You have a great deal to teach her, yet you want her to feel she has a better living situation with you than where she is coming from.

Always, always, start with a room mate "contract". Make it casual, and encourage her to offer her concerns and expectations of you as well. I am sure she has some things that she is worried about as well. Take a piece of paper, draw a line down the center, and give each other promises, commitments, and concerns, one for one on the paper. Make a copy and both of you sign both copies. There will be conflict, that is human nature, but having it in writing makes it clear what you expect of each other and much less likely you will annoy or upset each other with behavior that makes the other unhappy. Be flexible enough to sit down in 30 days and re-write the concerns, as after living together the REAL concerns will come out of the woodwork and should not be ignored.

As far as school goes, you need to explain to her that you want the best for her, and that includes at the very least a high school diploma. She will soon learn that to be anything in life she needs to develop specialty skills that technical schools or community college offers quickly and affordably. Those are personal choices, but you can encourage her along a good path.

Please let me know how things end up. 2 of my daughters had lived outside of our home right around their 18th birthdays, and they are doing very well and are reasonably happy with the choices they made.

Dear Susie

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okay i'm 14/f and i already have my ear lobes pierced. today i asked my mom if i could get my cartilage pierced and she went off and said no. i was like wtf? the only reason she had was that ears aren't meant to be pierce their ears there. i even offered to pay to get it done but she still wont budge.. how can i get her to let me get it done? im about to just do it myself..

One of my daughters came to me at around the same age and I felt she too was too young. Being a teenager, she was going to find a way make a way. She decided to prove to me that she was responsible in many ways that I didn't know about. She made a list with examples of good decisions she had made in potentially bad situations, she convinced me that piercings are a privilege (certain ones are okay for teenagers). Find out what your mom's "hot button" is, what is really bothering her about the piercing. Then give her lots of love and respect, and a little patience. You will get your piercing when you can make her feel good about it. Good luck and let me know what happenes... Dear Susie

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