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Q: I think i have a crush on my boyfriend's best friend! i really love my bf- he's kind, caring- anything a girl can ask for. but his best friend is also the same, and i've known him longer. what do i do?
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Be single. Seriously, break up with your boyfriend (There must be something not right there, otherwise you wouldn't be so concerned about your feelings for another guy) and just be alone for a few weeks and sort things out. Being involved in a relationship really clouds your vision.
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Q: I haven't had much luck with the dating scene and am considering using an online service to meet people. Is there one you can recommend?
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Yes, I'd recommend Slashdot . You didn't think it was a dating service? On the contrary, it's really everything... brings you news, informs you of controversy, serves as a journal, and can even hook you up with the man of your dreams. Just follow the Spacefem Plan to Happiness and you'll be there:
1) Wait for a fresh article to come up.
2) Figure out a way that the article in question has to do with women, feminism, or equality in another format.
3) Post your clever, insightful opinion about how men are basically all stupid and technology will one day find a way for us to no longer need them to reproduce.
4) Let the replys come in!
You should get at least 10-15 replys if you do this correctly, most of them from trolls. The trick: repeat the process until some equally desperate loser actually agrees with you. He's the one! If it's another woman, she's the one! Just don't be too picky, you'll find a desperate insecure computer geek mate in no time; everyone knows they make the best parters.
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Q: last year this guy punched me in the face ugh and i hated him so much before and after that i could careless if he was alive or dead...but then this year he got really nice and he liked me and at first i was a little hesitant and wasn't exactly attracted to him...but then when he went out with my friend i really started to like him... it was like i couldn't stop thinking about him and all that shit...and then he liked me and we went out for 3 days and then "i wasn't his type" so he dumped me. and after that we were just friends and then we started to like eachother again during winter break. and yeah i try that thing to forget him...and believe me it doesn't work.
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Try harder to forget him, he's an asshole, and a drama queen. Never go out with him again, that's one thing you can force yourself to do. Why would you like a guy who can't decide who he wants to go out with, and punches girls in the face? Grow up!
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Q: My boy friend broke up with me because he lived 45 minutes away and he couldn't see me that often but if I get the chance to go out with him again, should I?
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No. Didn't he break up with you? If he asks you out again, turn him flat out down, you've got better things to do than go out with a guy who breaks up with you, for any reason.
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Q: About two years ago I went out with a guy and loved him to death, we had the most perfect times together and it just seemed too wonderful.... After dating for around nine months, my mother decided to start hating him, and I don't know why. She never told me and she never let me do anything with him... I was always lying to her and then getting grounded from him, and I could only see him by doing that. I don't know what to do... and I realy don't know how to tell my mother I'm in love with a man that she hates....(for no reason).
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Okay first off, I doubt your mom really doesn't like him for no reason. You should ask her about this one. Moms are sometimes afraid to express their real opinion, because I know I've told my mom several times that I don't care what she thinks or she's the most naive person in the world. These things aren't true, but at the time that was how it felt, and well, that'll keep Mom from wanting to take the time to explain things to me.
So go to her and be really nice and be like, "Mom, I want to avoid dating another guy you don't like, like ~blank~. What exactly was it about him again? I need to know."
Love is blind. You'd be surprised what an outsider can tell you about this once they're sure you're listening. Also, your circumstances might be different but you should know that I never recommend getting back together with exs. It's sort of my personal rule. But do what you feel is right, m'kay?
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Q: I've been going out with this girl for three months. We've started getting intimate, and all of a sudden she wants to do some pretty strange things. I really like her and feel if I don't do these things, she'll find someone else who will. What do I do?
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You should never do anything you're not comfortable with just to keep a relationship going. Maybe she's not right for you? Talk to her, make sure she knows how you feel. Your relationship should be based on mutual interest and respect, not weird things you can do to one another.
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Q: This guy I've been friends with for a long time is more special to me than a friend. Yet, sometimes, he makes me so goddamn angry; for some reason, we can't manage to make sustained eye contact or talk about much of anything. Though we have had some really deep moments/conversations. So I know I feel something, but I just don't want to be in a relationship with him, yet I want to be more than friends deep down inside. I think he may have the exact same feelings about me but I'm not entirely sure. If we just gave in to each other would everything be right? Or worse? Or the same? Is that question better left unanswered?
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I think if you really like each other, then sure, go for it. Maybe the conversation thing will work itself out, maybe not, but it's worth a try. I think it sounds like you do want a relationship with him. It may not sound like the most logical thing in your head, because of these barriers you've talked about, but some part of you is thinking hard about it.
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Q: I know this sounds really stupid but my boyfriend hasnt been flirting with me as much as usual. Does he not like me as much?Also is there any way i can get him to kiss me? cuz it hasnt happened yet and we've been dating for about 5 months now.
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kiss him! You shouldn't have to wait five months for this sort of thing, just get him alone and go for it, don't worry about being smooth.
And if you're worried about him not liking you, please tell him. If you can't be honest about that, he's not worth being with.
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Q: At this point in time, I am almost the most I have ever weighed. It's not fat or anything, but I think 140 pounds is too big for my height. My parents don't want me to go on a diet because they fear I'll become anorexic or obsessed. I run, so I know I'm getting enough physical exercise. What can I do?
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You can watch what you eat without really "dieting". What are your parents going to do, force-feed you potato chips all day? That's just not healthy.
140 pounds isn't really big for anyone's height, so I don't think you have much to worry about, but it never hurts to just think about what you're eating. Don't eat because you're bored. Eat lots of fruits and vegitables. Watch your fats and empty carbs (empty carbs are things like white bread and bleached pasta that have about none nutritional value, but we fill up on anyway). Just eat healthy, and if you lose weight great, and if not don't worry so much about it.
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Q: Is it rude to tell someone what they are doing is extremely rude/disgusting? For example, a friend of mine chews with her mouth open, should I tell her it drives me crazy or just let her continue?
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If it's a friend, I think it's your responsibility to tell her she's being rude. Better you than someone she's at a job interview with someday, right? Be honest, even if she's mad at you at first (which she shouldn't be), she won't be later.
If it's someone you're just having one meal with you might hold back. But if it's someone you know, you not only can say something, you must.
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Q: What am I doing, RIGHT now?
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um, posting on advicenators?
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Q: I have a disease of the nervous system and can no longer write with my dominent hand. Should I give up writing? Im in the 8th grade and this is very frustrating!
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Try to learn to write with your other hand, that way you'll be ambidexterous and everyone will love you. If that doesn't work you might be out of luck, unless you have long toes, then you can learn to write with your feet. People have done it before, seriously, I believe in you.
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Q: If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast to a cat and drop it? My first friend said that the cat would eat the toast. My 2nd friend wanted to know what kind of toast: rye, or sourdough, and when I said it was regular white bread, she bit me. I said that the cat and toast would be sucked into a rift in the space-time continuum and the world would end. Who is right?
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The cat would land butter-side down.
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Q: Is your refrigerator running?
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My refrigerator is always running, and there's cheese in it too. And it's running. Because it's been in there a while.
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Q: I have a short attention span. Also, my friend threw purple paint on me. it still hasn't come out of my clothes, skin, or hair. What should I do?
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Throw orange paint on her hair, so she'll not only be orange, but you'll clash horribly when the two of you are together. That'll keep her away and show her a lesson.
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Q: all of my friends are extremely hairy is this normal?
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If your friends are monkeys. Have a shaving party, see who's not afraid to turn up and you'll know who your real friends are.
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Q: I'm offended that you've told girls to forget about guys who are too shy to ask them out. Geeks have a lot to offer, and we might be shy, but we're not emotionless and are certainly better for girls than those popular jocks who just want to get laid.
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Well yeah, from a moral standpoint I'm sure you're much better. But you're still a lousy boyfriend if you're afraid of girls. I'm not saying geeks are a downfall in society or anything, okay? You're still a good person, I'm sure. Just not worth chasing after from a boyfriend standpoint. Women should not have to work hard to keep any man, you're not worth it to us. So I'm telling all my questioners to drop the battle, whether they're fighting another woman, an alcohol problem, or the fact that you're a big damn pussy. Get some guts, then think about what you can offer women. There are guys who know a lot about computers and aren't afraid to talk to girls, get to be friends with some females, it won't kill you. Quit staring at us from afar. You're not genetically encoded to be a loser your whole life... everyone can be cool if they're mature and determined.
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Q: Have any clues for a good and reliable motherboard? i've got an FIC PA-2013, and it sucks. i' have yet to find a reliable motherboard at a reasonable price.
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Well, I've been really happy with my ASUS K7V133. Someone once told me that VIA chipsets like the one on my board had issues with nvidia graphics cards, but I've got a GeForce 256 and I've never had a problem. I think it was the GeForce 2 they were really worried about, you'd have to look it up. If you're worried about that, maybe look at the P4S8X, it uses a SiS chipset and those are nice. From my experience, all ASUS boards are good and most ABIT ones aren't half bad, either. My boyfriend cheaped out earlier this year and got an ECS, it wasn't bad, and they had good support, so if you're on a budget you should probably do that.
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Q: How can I stop lobsters from attacking me at night?
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Stop sleeping under water.
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bio
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I've been in the advice column over five years now so I think I've pretty much heard it all... the love, the hate, the random insanity. I don't take it too seriously, so I'm not always giving the best advice, but my column is fun to read!
I am a 23 year old electrical engineer, a feminist, a Christian. I don't know everything but I can sure pretend to.
Disclaimer: Now that I'm on advicenators I'm getting even more questions every day. It's fast and easy for me to answer them, yes, so at least I'm answering something now, but if your question contains the words "there's this guy that I like..." chances are I won't get around to it. I'm only answering interesting questions that I haven't answered before. Register at the site and ask everyone for advice if you must have an answer, because if people read my column and boring love advice was all they found, they'd never come back.
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Info
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Website: E-mail: Gender: Female Location: Kansas, USA Occupation: engineer Age: 27 ICQ: AIM: Yahoo: Member Since: September 8, 2003 Answers: 531 Last Update: April 17, 2015 Visitors: 129579
Main Categories:
Favorite Columnists
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