jammy12's advice column

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Q: Do you think 5ft 4in and 140lbs is large (fat) for a 13 almost 14 year old? Especially one who is a dancer? So many different websites say so many different things I do not know who is right! Plus, my instuctor at my dance studio is stressing how in shape we need to be for the preformance and how we all need to be at slim weights so we will look "fabulous" on stage and in our costumes. So far I am the biggest girl in my 2 classes, whoop de do!

"Hey I'm 5"4' 160 lbs and I know I'm soooo fat! Well ur not I wish I was 140! But I mean it doesn't matter what the dance instrustor thinks cause if you can preform it's all good. But I mean if he says ya'll maybe he means like the whole class....n not referin to u!

Q: OK so on saturday is this semi-formal dance at my school and i dont know what to do with my hair. It's about 2 inches beyond the shoulder, really thick and reallyyyyyy frizzy. I could straighten it, but its gonna be hot in the gym so it wont stay. I can jut put it up into a pony or bun. But if i get it done it has to be something wickedddd simple because it's not like fancy. I have noooo clue what to do, and suggestions on how i should have my hair would be AWESOME

My friend has the same kinda hair and she always puts her hair in a prettie ponytail when she straightenes...but you know it has this really amazing hair style. Straighten it and curl it in these prettie curls...not the jerry curls though more loose ones and then put it in a messy put like keira knightley! Or use the anti frizz serum and put one of those really really awesomely cute braids...like the fish braid n stuff! Really Cute n enjoy yah dance!

Q: I am 14 and my mom won't let me wear thongs. My sister is 16 and still is not allowed to wear them. Alot of my firends wear them and some don't. Sure part of the reason I want them is because alot of people wear them but that not the whole reason. I don't want panty lines when I wear sweats of whatever. My mom has always been overprotected, she didn't let me or my sister wear a bikni until last summer. Last weekend I tried on a really cute bathing suit and all she did was say how it was to low and I need to wear something more modest or I will be sending the wronge message. She thinks if I wear a low bikni someone will come and rape me, to make a long story short she is inpossible to shop with. Anyway If I could get a thong it would make me feel that I beat my mom and won. Don't get me wrong I love my mom we don't have a bad relaship at all. It just she very religous and hard to talk to. Oh and even if I did buy a thong behind her back. I've never done my own laundry in my life so she defintly know something was up. Sorry that it was so long, guess I got carried away.

You're 14 I'm 13 and you know maybe I'm allowed to wear a bikini but I would not go as far as a thong..maybe I guess you know it's just a rebellious age cause I know what it feels like. My grandma, who I live with and she buys everything for me, would never allow me to wear one of those and she'll really protective just like your mom! I've learnt to live with it..although sometimes I do things behind her back I realised it's so much easy just to let her have her way and wait until you're 16 or 18 to do what YOU want! And just cause your friends are doing things doesn't mean you have to be like that...or act grow up just to fit in..be yourself until you can do your own things!

Q: I have a Nokia 6225 and I'm getting a new phone really soon. I want to buy a data cable to put all my pictures onto my computer so I don't lose them, but do I have to have the software CD also, or can I just use the cable?

Well I think before you buy the phone you should ask for like bluetooth or infrared..althought you'll still have to buy the cable ne how..wen i bought my cable I got a disc with mine but it's a motorola! So maybe you should go to a dealer of the company and find out what you need

Q: I want to walk into my babysitting job with the kds running up to me saying yay _____ here! How any tips? I'll rate you high for trying

I have never really babysitted for anyone just helping with my brother and as my cousins always say..."No harm breaking the rules sometimes". I mean not go on a sugar high or anything but if they have to sleep by 8...let them go a little later and i'm sure they will appreciate it.

Q: Okay theres a song, I honestly can't remember the lyrics or the title.
But I know in the music video [ Its a pop song, and I used to see it on MTV alot] The video starts out and you can just see a white man's mouth [ and his mustach] and one of those old fashion microphones and its just a white background. Lol, I know its not much but its all I can remember. Please Help =)

Is it foo fighters by chance? Somehow i don't think it's soo much of a pop song n i'm not sure about the background...but I think it might be the foofigter's Best of you!

Q: i have a question bout my parens ...... well dealing with them. I am 15 years old. My parents argue a lot and i cant take it. i hate it so much and they dont understand how much sress it causes me. i dont know how to deal. how can i deal with the stress and anger they cause me? please answer as soon as possible. thank you.

Signed,
Stressed and emotional

That happens to me too! It's not my mom and dad though...it's my mom and my uncle! Well I understand how you feel, especially when you're in the middle and you're in you teenage years. And when you try to stop them or part the arguement they say you're 2 young and you don't understand! Well I've tried a new approach which i think might help you. Try telling them about it and if it doesn't work just try to be angry with them and go in your room and not talk to them...jus forget they exsist!
Then I'm sure your parents will agree for the sake of you. Also try to tell them how much it hurts you to hear them quarreling and if your grades are bad tell them the stress it getting to you. I'm sure in this case your parents best interest is you and remind them of that! Tell them it's not a matter of divorce because it will hurt you more...n i'm so sure they'll see your side of things!

Q: How can you tell if a guy really loves you or is just interested in sex? I rate high!

As my mum n ethics teacher always says..."If the man loves you...he's not gona make you have sex with him a week, month or day after if you don't want to!" If you want to then that's just a different story because you are both using each other.
Also I think if he keeps telling you how 'hot' you are n not saying he loves you and that you are beautiful...he's just using you! Then again he might say these things and don't mean it but it's up to the guy you have to know his friends and his background. Maybe he just like to have fun but he really loves you!

Q: Today my sister was complainging about a throbing headache soo she took advil. Well 2hrs later she was putting on make-up and her nose started bleeding. It was like gushing bllod no lie We had to throw away the towel she used it bleed for like 10 min and it coming out i chucks kinda. After it stopped her headache was gone like 5 min later.

Im wondering if you guys Know why this started bleeding like it did out of now where. And if she needs to go a doctor about it because thats what my dad plans on doing if it starts up again.

Thx.

You know if it was my sister or my family...I would carry her to a doctor the same time or the same day! I think someone told me someone died from advil...but I think it was just a rumor. Anyhow I heard any asprin caps with a shade of red color on the cap have actual drugs in it...no telling if it's true but if i was you ask your dad to carry her...n try to let her use panadol or something

Q: There's this girl I'm friends with. She has a lot of guy friends, and whenever I hang out with her, she's usually around them. See, her guy friends are very nice, and cute, so I usually end up liking one of them, and then losing interest, simply because I can't talk to them (They usually don't have a screen name or we have none of the same classes together, plus I can be shy if I talk to a guy I like in person).
I usually tell her if I like someone, but now I like one of her good guy friends, and I don't want to tell her (This guy friend has a screen name and stuff and I'm more determined to get to know him better). I don't want her to see me as "the girl who always ends up liking her friends and then not liking them the next day."

What should I do? Thanks!

Well that sounds like me...one minute I like this guy and the next I relly don't. I think it's because I know I can't have him...well I feel I can't have him. Anyyhow if she is your friend she wouldn't think about that and if you like one of her friends the best chance you have is to tell her. You'll have nothing to loose...except gain a possible friend? Any how I think you should let her know!

Q: Everyone says that like it's just so simple. "Just get a new boyfriend!" HOW? If there isn't anyone that likes me, then how exactly am I supposed to get a boyfriend? It's not like I can just snap my fingers and have guys crawling all over me like everyone else, they just don't want to date me!

So... HOW? How do I just get a new one? HOW?

Sounds to me like you just like having a boyfriend for the sake of going places and just the reason of having one. Well let me tell you I've tried jus goin with a boy for no reason and it doesn't work in the long. Of course he wouldn't have the same tastes and hobbies and then again he might not like you for you either. It wouldn't be based on love...more like lust!
So the safest thing to tell you at this moment is to wait for the right guy to come along. Of course it's worth the wait and the patience pays off because you'll find the right one at the right time!

Q: ok, well every time i shave, when im done, my legs are always really itchy. its not like a rash, but it wont go away. what should i dot to stop this?

This same thing happens to me! It's not a rash but it relly itches and it gets like lil bumps that go down in a few minutes? Well I normally try using conditioner to shave and it works at times. I actually think that it's soap or being tooo dry!