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i am 28 i dated this guy for almost 3 yrs .all this time he didn't give me or this relationship much time n thought. so i suffered immensely.it was me calling up after a fight and me starting a conversation always.so i broke up with him 1month back .now he is calling me up and wants to get back.although he is a nice,sweet,loves me absolutely but i ma not sure if this didn't work out in 3yrs will he be able to do it now.moreover my parents are looking fora groom for me.they want me married by next year.should i give him a second chance?or is it smart and hard to just move on and try something that works naturally.moreover my parents are not too keen on him as my future husband.so advice! (link)
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Usually I have longer responses but this one is plain and simple.
If it's always you initiating contact and conversation, and you said yourself he didn't give you much time or thought, he doesn't love you absolutely. Let him go. He doesn't deserve your time or thought either.
I do believe people can change, but not that quickly. He doesn't realize what he had til it's over and that's why he's trying to get you back now -- because it's safe, it's comfortable. But that's not what makes for a lasting and loving relationship. Maybe in 5 years this guy will be different and figure out his mistakes, but you shouldn't hang around putting your life on hold for that long. Move on. You will find someone that absolutely adores you, that can't wait to call you, talk to you, spend time with you.
I wish you the best of luck and hope that you find love - in your own time and way! (Although parents can sometimes have a knack for finding the good ones).
~Pollux
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If my period finish tuesday and I have sex sunday unprotected can I get pregnant. (link)
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Yes. It's actually one of the higher-probability times.
You have somewhere between 28-31 days between your periods, and 3-7 days on your period. You are ovulating approximately in the middle of this cycle, around day 14 for the average cycle, although the exact time you are ovulating has a significant range. You are most likely to get pregnant during the 6-day window around ovulation.
If the egg isn't fertilized, it degrades, your estrogen and other hormone levels drop, and the egg is released at the start of your period along with menstrual blood and other material. So the least likely time to get pregnant (almost no chance) is actually when you're ON your period. Even that's not fail-safe though, especially if you have irregular or short cycles.
Now, sperm can live in the vagina and uterus for as many as 7 days. So if you have sex 5 days after your period, add 7 days to account for the time the sperm could possibly be alive, and you're at 12 days after your period -- definitely within your ovulation window.
My advice, don't risk it, use some form of protection. I've never used anything other than condoms (I don't like taking the idea of additional hormones from things like the pill or the patch) in 7 years of being sexually active and haven't had a problem. But there's always the pill, patch, intra-uterine device, contraceptive films, foams, spermicide ... all sorts of birth control. Condoms have the added advantage of providing some protection against STDs.
As an added note, if you ever DO have unprotected sex or a condom breaks, do NOT use a douche, this can provide an easy ride for any sperm in your vagina into your uterus. Take the morning-after pill. But I wouldn't make a habit out of that, because of the high levels of hormones involved and the nausea, headaches, diarrhea, etc as side-effects.
Also, I've been assuming this is not the first time you will be having sex, but if it is: PLEASE make sure you're ready for it, and the guy you're with isn't an immature as$hole and you won't look back and regret it later. Consider talking to friends, older siblings, or your parents first ... it's important to feel very comfortable and secure if it's your first time.
Hope this helps,
Pollux
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So i have a HUGE crush on this boy and iv had it for two years now and he still doesnt notice me. I think its because im un-attractive, iv never liked my body and im a total tomboy so i usually wear a jumper and jeans and all my friends wear like mini skirts and belly tops. I look like such an idiot, im dark skinned (brown) wear glasses and im not really fat but abit chubby and i hav frizzy hair tats brown but looks like it black... i hate my body and how can i m
ake my self look more attractive but not in a slutty way. (link)
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Alright, we've all been there. (Well most of us girls have anyways).
I always saw myself as the least attractive girl in my group of friends, I've always been a little overweight, never really took time to get into fashion or do my hair or makeup.
But now I'm 23 and I've grown up a bit and realized a few things. When you project self-confidence, that's attractive. And guys (surprise!) actually like tomboys ... they want somebody they can relate to and actually have a conversation with. If you have a few things you're really interested in, those are great conversation starters and when a guy starts to get to know you better, you'll be more attractive to him.
Now I'm sure that's all advice you've heard before, but it can be hard to project self-confidence if you're not really feeling it. But, putting a bit of time into your appearance can go a long way towards feeling it. So here's what I suggest for the next time you'll be around this guy:
- Go out shopping for a new outfit, and don't shy away from form-flattering clothes! Find some jeans or a skirt that aren't too tight, but hug your body, and a cute top to go with it. Make sure it's something YOU like, that's YOUR style, rather than just what's "in," because you'll feel much better in it.
- Take a little time to do your hair. If it's frizzy, try straightening it and then using a cream or serum to make it smooth and shiny. If you want to, you could get it cut in a style you like, lots of stylists are good at framing your face and flattering your features. It's not necessary though, this is about making YOU feel good about the way you look.
- Put on a little makeup that highlights the best feature on your face. For me, this is my eyes, so I just use a little bit of liner and an eyeshadow color that compliments my eye color. You don't really need to go all-out here, especially if you don't normally do makeup.
- Eat a healthy diet with minimal processed foods, and get a little exercise in. This isn't about losing weight; your body feels great when you treat it right!
And that's it! New outfit, a little style and getting excited about it can really improve your confidence and guys will notice.
Also, in my experience, guys are attracted to girls that have some curves. So love that about yourself, embrace it. Women tend to feel inadequate because our culture endorses hyper-thin women, but I guarantee that most men don't think that's the most attractive look for a woman. I like to look at this article if I'm ever feeling down about myself, it has a great perspective on what people have found attractive over the years:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Women%27s_body_shape
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I got a full athletic scholarship to a State University.
I don't like it here! Its too small for meand the people are NOT my type. I've always wanted to go to a HUGE school. My cousin goes to a huge school and her coach takes such good care of her. Here, it seems I have to do EVERYTHING myself. Like registering for classes: Because the Athletic Director didn't get to my paperwork on time, I am on the waiting lists for 5/6 of my classes. I need those certain classes because of our practice schedule. AND the dorms are ridiculous. There's always a problem; heater doesn't work, A LOT of bugs, rusting shower, shower not hot,bed bugs, thin walls, so many! I'm not a spoiled brat, I just know people shouldn't live like this. When you tell the custodians they take about 3 days to get back to you and down play the situation and act like WE are overexaggertaing. It's sick
Also, I'm pretty sure they don't have my major here. I'm just not happy!
When I signed, they said I can transfer after two years. But, what if I want to go to a JC?
The JC I want to go to has one of the best coaches for my sport and girls who transfer get into REALLY good schools. Could I go to the JC then get into a better, different school?
AND sometimes I think about just quitting the sport because I can't give my full attention to school like I want to. UGH. (link)
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This sounds like you have your answer already - you're not happy with the academics, the campus life, or the sport. It's not worth your time and effort with the school you're at if you're not going to be happy. Even if you're on full scholarship.
People have a tendency to look down on JCs, but I know plenty of people who went for one or two years, transferred, and are thriving in their majors. It hasn't impeded them academically at all. If you take intro classes at the JC and then transfer, you'd be able to start your major coursework right away, and that's a big plus.
AND, it sounds like you'd be happier playing your sport there, with a good coach.
I say go for it.
Hope this helps!
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I'm 18/f. I'm a senior in High School. I'm ususally a fairly stable person, emotionally. But, lately (last month or so) I have been having really dramatic mood swings. One minute I'll be fine, then the next I'm ready to punch someone in the face, and the next I feel like I'm going to cry. My boyfriend and I did have unprotected sex...a few times, actually, but he pulled out. I've also been kinda stressed out b/c of H.S., I mean I'm really tired of H.S kids! The only thing making me think that these mood swings aren't because I'm pregnant is that I'm still getting my period...and I'm not gaining ANY kind of weight.
Anyway, I guess my question is: Do you think I'm pregnant or do you know any other reason for my mood swings?
Thanks to all answers! (link)
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Hmm, there could be lots of reasons for mood swings. If you're still getting your period, I doubt you're pregnant.
If you've been stressed out by school, friends, or anything else in your life, that could be a major contributor. It could be that you're bored, or that you've gone through some change that you're adjusting to.
Also, it could be diet-related. Make sure you're getting enough water and the proper nutrients, if you're in a northern state where there's not much sun, it's quite possible that you're deficient in vitamin D.
Whenever you get a mood swing, stop and try to ask yourself what triggered it. Was it a test? An offhand comment? Or is it something deeper than that? I hope you figure it out, and feel better soon!
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Well am a female n i just had sex with my bf a day after i got my period. He cumed inside of me twice but i had my period. Can i still be pregnant or can i get pregnant during my period?? Please help me am very worried now and idk what to think. Thanks you (link)
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It depends on how long your cycle usually is. If it is normal - 30 days, 3-5 days actually on your period, then there is almost zero chance that you are pregnant. (I said almost! There's still a chance, but it's pretty unlikely). If your cycle is short, < 28 days, then your chances of getting pregnant just after your period increase significantly. This is because while you are getting rid of the egg that was unfertilized during the last cycle (your period), you're preparing to release another egg for fertilization. Normally this egg is released beginning about a week after your period, however, if your cycle is short, it may be released during or very shortly after your period, greatly increasing your chances of pregnancy.
If you miss your next period, buy a pregnancy test, but until then, try not to think about it. Stressing out can make you miss a period.
Also, use a condom! It's just good practice, then you don't have to worry.
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I would like to know how to loss weight fast. How could i lose at least 50 pounds by April??
with love. (link)
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First off, that will not be easy. But it is achievable. You have to focus on changing the things that have made you overweight to begin with, and introduce some new things into your life as well. Think of weight loss not only as changing your appearance, but as changing your self-confidence, energy levels, and outlook on life. Once this idea is firmly fixed in your mind, you're ready.
The key to losing weight is expending more energy than you take in. That being said, you can't just stop eating: your metabolism (rate at which you burn calories just staying alive) slows down, your hair falls out, all sorts of nasty things happen. So focus on eating portion-controlled, healthy meals. Protein should be lean meat or fish about the size of a deck of cards. Veggies and fruit should make up most of the rest of your meals, and carbs (whole wheat stuff, grains) should make up the rest. Don't skip meals (especially breakfast) because this slows down your metabolism. If you eat somewhere between 1200-1500 calories a day, you should lose about a pound a week, even without exercise. (1 lb = 3500 calories).
Add exercise on top of this. First, do strength training exercises to build lean muscle (you won't bulk up) and eliminate the stored glycogen in your muscles which must be used before you can start burning fat. Do pushups, situps, free weights, any sort of resistance training. There are a lot of good websites with ideas out there, just google it. Then, do cardio - running and swimming are the best, biking or elliptical or rowing (if you have a body of water nearby) are also excellent. You're going to have to do 60-90 minutes of cardio that actually gets you huffing and puffing, working up a sweat, 5-7 days/week, in order to lose the amount of weight you're talking about. On top of strength training.
Now, with all that work on your body, be sure to be good to yourself. Eat lean protein (cottage cheese is good, milk, etc...) after a workout to help with muscle repair. Don't skimp on your meals, make sure you get 1200-1500 cals/day to keep your metabolism high and ensure that you're burning fat instead of muscle. And remember to take time to stretch, cool down, and center yourself. Consider yoga or something similar.
If you do these things, you'll see the weight come off, you'll see your energy skyrocket, your skin will have a healthier glow to it, and you'll feel great about yourself.
I hope this helps! Any other questions feel free to ask.
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18/f - 19/m
The other night my boyfriend and I were having sex. The condom broke, but luckily he hadn't came yet. I know there's the whole pre-ejaculation thing, so what I'm asking is can I still get pregnant off of that? I've been told a whole aray of different things. Some being that yes I can, and some being that no I can't. I just need a straight answer. At the time I was just getting off my period (that just so happened to be two weeks early, so someone told me that I was just ovulating). It'd be really great to get an answer. Thank you. (link)
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Yes, you can get pregnant from pre-ejaculation. However, if you stopped right when you realized the condom broke, I think it's highly unlikely that you're pregnant. When you have your period, the egg that was released for fertilization has not been used and so it comes out with blood and all the other mess. Unless you have a very, very short cycle, you have almost zero chance of getting pregnant during and just after your period.
The one twist in this is that your period was two weeks early. Are you on any other forms of birth control that might have caused this? Usually, an egg is released midway through your cycle, so if you get your period every 4 weeks, your peak fertility is about 2 weeks after your period. If you don't become pregnant, the egg and all of the other stuff in the lining of your uterus sloughs off during your period, and you have to wait another week or so after your period to release another egg. I think you probably have a higher chance of being pregnant, since you were in what is normally the "midway point" of your cycle, you may have been having your period while releasing another egg for fertilization.
That being said, it's kind of guesswork, and you're still pretty unlikely to get pregnant off of precum in a broken condom. If it will assuage your mind, get a pregnancy test and take it in about 4 weeks. Most can't tell earlier than that if you are or aren't.
Hope this helps!
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Can weed kill you?
Like besides cancer. Can you OD on it??
Cheers. (link)
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Not if you're smoking it. You would fall asleep before you OD. However, if you bake it into brownies or something like that, it is possible (though unlikely) to OD. I've heard of one case of a girl dying from it, although she was something like 8 years old. So in general, you're probably not going to die.
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Someone told me I needed to stop this eating disorder because it could kill me but I don't believe them. Then today someone else told me the say exact thing! Can being bulimic kill you or are these people just jealous cause I am a size zero while they are like size 2 or size 3 fat chicks? I think they are fatties who are hating on me. (link)
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Bulimia can in fact kill you. One of the more gruesome ways is this: when you throw up, stomach acid eats away at the lining of your esophogas. Eventually this can get so thin that it tears under any sort of pressure, even coughing or sneezing, or when you throw up again. Through the tear, food gets in your lungs and you literally choke on it. You also run the risk of cancer from the esophogeal perforations, heart attack, and type II diabetes. Your stomach acid eats away at your teeth and nutrient deficiencies make your hair brittle and it begins to fall out.
Look, you can get any of this information from any website. Personally, I'd rather be a size 2 or 3 than have all my hair and teeth fall out and run the risk of pulmonary edema. Eating disorders have been glamorized in our culture when they're actually not glamorous - they're ugly, terrible diseases that claim the lives of people who struggle with them every day.You can be thin and beautiful without this disease, you don't need it. Please seek help - you don't want to become a prisoner of this disease.
I hope this helps.
Love,
Pollux
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I'm 19 and I'm a bisexual transexual male, i have a girlfriend, but she's homophobic and says gays are nasty. She doesn't know about my transexual lifesyle. Well i think like a woman, feel like one and i told her i want to get a sex change and asked her if she would still care for me...she said no and that she would leave me
So i kinda have been behind her back with this man i really like, and he's gay. He told me that whatever makes me happy and i should go for it and he'll be there for me, boy or girl.
So what should i do, i don't want to live like this all my life
And who should i choose. (link)
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Go for the person who will stand by your decisions and let you be who you are.
If this girl is bringing you down like this, she can't really love you and care about you, and you shouldn't have to hide parts of your life from her. Eventually this is going to get you down, you don't want to live a lie.
The man you're with sounds like a great guy, one who will support you always.
Whatever you choose, and whatever your sex, don't be afraid to be yourself. If you think and feel like a woman, embrace it. To hell with people who don't like it.
Hope this helps -
Love,
Pollux
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A few months ago a friend i used to be closed to (i had a major crush on him & maybe again) tricked me by askin me out n not meaning it so i didnt talk to him for months or be nice with him. Hes a funny guy in 10th grade 1 year older than me & an inch short. Now he makes me laugh like he used to & tries to be around n talk to me more. Many people even my friends and his friends say that he could have liked me but was to afraid to admit it n because hes a little shorter than me....Could this be true? And what do i do....I like him...Again? (link)
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I'm going to be really honest with you because I've been in some pretty similar situations.
I don't think he's that into you. It sounds like he really thinks of you as a close friend, someone he can joke around with and be himself with. I think that it's something he values, and he's trying to be that again with you, now that you've started speaking with him again.
I could be wrong, though -- being on the shorter side can be hard on a guy until he grows into himself. This might seem difficult, but why not just ask him? Say something like
"I'm really into you, do you feel the same way towards me?" and see how he reacts. If he seems a little uncomfortable, he might like you, and you would want to press a little further and maybe ask why he tricked you. If he cracks jokes or sort of brushes you off, I would say he thinks of you as a friend.
Whichever way he goes, at least you'd know. You have the upper hand, so if he rejects you, just tell him that's fine and move on. There's nothing more attractive than confidence.
Hope this helps.
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it's just too hard. i've wanted to kill myself for ages. i mean i remember standing in front of the mirror when i was seven and think how nice it would be if i was dead. this can't be normal. and aside from the fact that i am totally screwed up, i have no friends, no talent, no family. there is no one who loves me, and yes, i am sure of this, BELIEVE ME. see as well as being depressed, i have this thing. it's a form of escapsism, really. i basically pretend to live in a different life, soemtimes it a futrue i hope that i could have had if i didn't kill my self. but then it like reality hits and it all comes crashing down. i know it not healthy, but can't i just live in my world? at least im happy there. i know i have to face reality, and postphoning my inevitable suicide, is pointless, but i just like it there. it makes me think that im normal, though, obviously im not. im not on here, because, 'obviously im just crying out for attention, and i don't really want to kill my self', so don't bother with that crap, i know, i've given advice to people as well okay. and don't say that someone must love me, or there's soemthing i must look forward to. even my fasasies are way too exetreme to be possible. the advice i want is simple,( and answer honestly, because either way, i WILL DIE, so deal with it): should i fantasise more and commit suicide, just a tiny bit more happier, or should i just kill my self, and spare myself any more pain? please, don't be stupid or naiive about this. i don't care about god. i don't care about the right to live, i don't care about thereapy. i just came on here for some advice. and if you do try and give me some crap rather than answer it, then thanks a lot. you should just let me suffer by myself, rather than mislead me. it not like im not trying hard enough to get by as it is, okay? (link)
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I don't agree with people who say that everyone has some sort of contractual duty to be alive if they're not happy. That said, I cannot in good conscience advise you to take your own life without knowing very much, if anything, about you. If you're going to hang on for a little longer, will you at least talk to me? I'm not trying to trick you into psychotherapy or anything -- I'm a physics student and really have no interest in psychology -- but I just feel like someone should know you or and least know what you've gone through. After that, I know you can make your own decisions.
If you want to, email me. AdAeterna@gmail.com
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i did something stupid in the past accadental but noone knows the true story just people think i am crazy and weird for it. it was 6 years ago tho and i have gotten past it. whenever i least expect is tho, it comes back to haunt me and peopple bring it up. im always scared to yell at people and be who i am bc im scraed people will bring it up and i am powerless to it. i didnt kill anyone or anything serious. it was just a mistake and i get tortured mentally for it.
i was drunk and i was tlaking to this kid in my shcool a year younger, and he brought up what i did and im scared of a boy a year younger! thats how pathetic i am. i dont want to go to school bc i am scared hell bring it up or something. uch what do ido. (link)
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It's hard to know how to advise for this one without knowing what you did. If you're comfortable, you might want to put that as additional information for the question.
In any case, though, try to accept what you did and let it go. You are not the same person you were 6 years ago, and if people bring up what you did, remind them of that. If there is a mistake that you are truly ashamed of, then you know that that is not the kind of person you want to be and you will never make that mistake again. If this boy brings it up again, just tell him you're not comfortable with talking about it and you want to put the past behind you. If he keeps pushing, just ignore him. End of story. Don't let past mistakes define your future.
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