Sometimes my advice is good advice, and sometimes it's just an opinion. Sometimes people don't take good advice (ironically.) If everybody would just talk to each other, we'd have world peace, so you probably won't see "just talk to them" in my column.
I worked as a Registered Nurse for a few years so I know a little about health.
I think and read about spiritual things. I answer spiritual questions without trying to convert anyone to my own beliefs. I'm a non-denominational Christian, but I believe everyone has a path to follow, and God is patient, so I answer spiritual questions from where you are.
Gender: Female
Location: FL
Occupation: Old wise woman
Member Since: January 12, 2004
Answers: 327
Last Update: June 8, 2006
Visitors: 16157
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Marijuana is obviously one of the most popular illigal drugs. but is it really a bad thing? I have personal experiences and well to tell truth, it doesnt really hinder your judgement, nor does it make you feel invincible. All marijuana does is make you really goofy. Ppl say that car accidents happen alot due to marijuana. what these ppl over look is that those kids that are in the accidents are also drunk. which is what really hinders and clouds your judgement.
Is there actually any REAL physical harm that will come from marijuana, aside from the obvious? (link)
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There has been a lot of misinformation and myth circulated about marijuana, but that doesn't make all of it false. It definitely does alter your judgement. I would not drive on it whether alchohol is involved or not.
I guess it is no more physically harmful than alcohol, and alchohol is definitely harmful. You can go to jail quicker for marijuana than alchohol (at least where I live.) That's harmful. It has a lot more of a negative social stigma than alchohol. To get some jobs, you don't go through testing for drinking beer but you do for marijuana.
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The Civil War was around the Victorian era, so anything that looks Victorian works for that era. Ornately carved, dark wood usually fits in the best. Look for furniture at used furniture stores, antique stores, and flea markets.
Ok thanx 4 answering that, now..how cheap/expensive can they get. (link)
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The cost will vary. Your best bet is to go to flea markets, and it will take time to find something that works without being expensive. The cost depends on where you live, and how much old stuff is around.
We went to flea markets looking for Civil War stuff, and found a pressed tin steamer trunk for $40. They cost about $250 in antique stores. You can get a modern headboard that looks Victorian. You may be lucky and find one as cheap as $50 (that is if you lived near where I live), but it will take time and a lot of looking.
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I have two male cats. One 15 year old simaese which I have had for most of my life, and an 8 month old that I just adopted today. Technically the new cat is my mom's. I am really attached to my cat and want to make this adjustment for him as easy as possible. Is there any advice someone can give me for this?
Also, from what the lady said who was giving him up was that he was a very gentle and docile cat. But he has been following me around and watching me ever since he encountered my cat. Right now I as I sit at my computer and type he is staring at me and yeowling. If I advance towards him to walk to the kitchen, he gets lounder and advances back. And he follows me around with his ears back, tail puffed up, and jaws slightly agape. Is there ANYTHING I can do to make him leave me alone? We've only had him now for a few hours, and I know there will be an adjustment time, but it is really getting annoying.
One last concern, my cat doesn't have his front claws, and the new cat does... My mom won't get him declawed because of a mishap that happened with my cat's surgery. We will be getting him neutered sometime this week. how long do you think this adjustment period will be?
In case it matters for whatever reason, I am 21/F. (link)
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Probably by now you have taken the new cat to get neutered. That will help. You didn't say if the new one is Siamese. If he is - they tend to be very verbal cats so expect a lot of meowing.
He will need time to get adjusted, give him about a month to settle down. I would keep them separated, especially at first, because the younger one has claws and is probably in a lot better shape, and may beat up the older one. It will help both of the cats nerves to be separated. I would keep the older cat with you as much as possible. Let them be with each other for short times at first until they get used to each other.
Hope this helps.
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What headboards are good for the civil war era. (link)
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The Civil War was around the Victorian era, so anything that looks Victorian works for that era. Ornately carved, dark wood usually fits in the best. Look for furniture at used furniture stores, antique stores, and flea markets.
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My neighbor offered her 1988 Honda Civic for 1000.00, It needed a battery, 4 tires, I could not test drive it, It had expired plates. I trusted her word. The car sat for 8 months, undriven. She is letting me make payments. I signed a paper saying so. When I got the title, her name was never on there. I only had the car 2 months and I already bought a battery, tires. Now it needs about 200.00 worth of work on it to run. She will not lower the price, and I no longer have a job. I offered the car back. She refuses. What else can I do. I am paying for a car that is only worth 600.00 the most. She took advantage of me. Also the car is in my husband's name. How can I get out of this situation. Please help! (link)
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If you bought this car from someone you didn't know, like a person advertising in the paper, or a used car lot, you would be in the same situation.
It would be very easy to find an 88 Honda Civic for $1000 at a "buy here pay here" place and have mechanical problems later. Cars always need tires and batteries. That is part of normal maintenance. You would have known that it needed a battery because it wouldn't start and was sitting. The tires are easy to check just by looking. The mechanical repairs are something you always take a risk with when you buy a car. I don't think she took advantage of you. It sounds like a reasonable sale to me if the car had good appearance. Blue book value is always lower than resale.
She agreed to take payments from you - that is like any other kind of credit. If you don't pay, she has a few legal options, like small claims court. I'm sure she is very sorry about the agreement too at this time.
I would consider the car yours, even though your husband's name is on the title, and the debt still owed to her. How you make arrangements to pay her (if you do) is up to you.
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what does double clicked mouse method mean? (link)
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This was an answer to a girl who wanted to know about masturbation. Most of the columnists' answers say things like vibrators, or "fingering" but it isn't necessary to penetrate for sexual pleasure. Females get sexual pleasure from the clitoris, the small sensitive bump near the outside of the vagina.
Double clicking your mouse refers to using the first two fingers near the clitoris in a way similar to "left click - right click," etc.
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I recently got married and ny husband has been emotionally and financially abusive. For example...I was recently diagnosed with fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome and he has not been helping me out. He says he doesn't care how I feel and to suck it up. He does not pay the bills and we have shut off notices for the electric, phone, and cable. Yet he won't allow me to take over the finances. He goes out and spend the money on himself and playing poker. He took a trip ti Atlantic City without me and spent all of our money. We aren't able to buy groceries even. He yells at me to get a job. But with my medical conditions I am not able to work plus with having three kids under 5 years old...I wouldn't even make enough to cover daycare. He constantly calls me names and criticizes me, underminds my parenting in front of the kids, gets in my face and acts like he is going to hit me just to make me flinch. He calls me fat and ugly and worthless and thats just the nicer words he uses. Why did he marry me if he thought those things about me? I can't live like this any more! I am severly depressed and I am gonna end up in the hospital soon if he doesn't start to help out more with the kids. Just recently he took my wedding ring and engagment ring and throw them out the car window and told me he wants a divorce. We've only been married for a month and a half! What do I do!? (link)
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You definitely should divorce him, he is abusive. Find an agency for abused women and ask for advice. There are numbers in the front of the phone book. He doesn't have to hit you to be abusive. I know having health problems makes living difficult, but living in this situation is for worse for you and your children.
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The man I'm about to tell you about is a friend that's married. We were co-employees in the same building. Our relationship started out from insults, literially! He's 6'7" and I'm 5'2" so you can imagine the short and tall insults we through at one another. The insults turned into jokes and jokes changed into long conversations as we appeared to be on the same level in so many things. The conversations turned into unexplained feelings that couldn't be denied by either but we were friends and he got engaged.
He's now married (about 2 months)but still wants to keep our friendship knowing there are underlying feelings that neither of us seem to have a firm grip on. We tell ourselves that we can be friends but who's kidding who? He got genuine feelings for me and I know this! We've talked about it but he's decided to let these feelings, out of nowhere, take him wherever they might lead! He's (we've) had these feelings before he got married and at first I thought it was going to be okay, but it seems they've gotten strong since then.
I've tried to put him out of my mind by substituting him with work, other friends and family but it doesn't help when he calls just wanting to talk or ask me to meet him. Nothing's happened between us physically but I'm feelings that's only a matter of time as there's a lot of chemistry and sexual tension between us whenever we're together. I've always prided myself in not getting involved with married men but in this case we're a little different since we started out unattracted to one another and it's grown into feelings that won't seem to go away for either of us. He's tried, or so he's says, not to think about me and concentrate on his marriage, but he can only for a few days before he calls me. I can't explain what I feel for him in words as I've never felt this way for anyone! I've always been able to turn my feelings off and on when it came to men as my first and only love saw to that. My girlfriend thinks we're falling in love (the real thing) with one another. Our relationship has grown over the past 2 years but I don't know if I can control what might happen between us. He's the first to make me feel anxious. The first man I've longed to be with in over 20 years. I've only been in love once in my life but this feels so different! He invades my dreams, for God's sake!
I need someone to put this in prospective for me. Confirm that it's wrong to feel this way about a married man, especially when I can't act upon those feelings. Is this really love or are we all a victim of circumstance? How can you be married to one but have strong feelings for another? Okay, there's much more to this story but this is the jest of it. Is there someone out there that can help? This time it's the advisor that's needs the help . . . . how ironic???? (link)
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I don't understand why, if you both were so attracted to each other, he married someone else. It doesn't sound good. I think in his case he's thinking of being unfaithful to his wife after he made a committment to her. If that is so, he really isn't trustworthy.
But in your case, you need to find another love interest. This relationship is not off to a good start.
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This mad sound stupid, I looking up yoga and all this. I relize that breathing lot helps ur mind or something..
wel thing is all my life I kinda talk to my self in my mind and this maybe sound silly sometims I'm not with my friends and I kinda pretend there in my mind talking to me. I know sound childest talking my self. I don't do it in pulublic. well in my mind I do somtimes. well my qestion is it okay do that unless don't controll and make thing in mind say thing in real life. if this dont make since it ok dont answer and yelling bout my grammer.. I sorry I am deaf and I have slow writing I do want wirt good. I like helping others and stuff. well thanks any way. thing is right now I typing this I hear my self in my mind saying it.. well I do have good memory..
Pls dont judge my grammer just keep reading it and maybe u get it try put ur self in my shoe just turn around or something.. u need learn becouse there maybe lot people someday writ asl not english.. thanks
u. this intressing how many of u met deaf people?
Manda (link)
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I think it is kind of normal to imagine what other people would say to you, or to hear their voices in your mind - as long as you realize it is your own thoughts and don't think someone else is actually talking to you.
I don't think yoga has anything to do with this though. Meditation is usually about stopping random thoughts so it is a little different.
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I have recently found out that my son and his family attend openhouses, birthday parties, and weddings. They bring a card, but no gift of any kind. They say they can't afford it, but I know they can spend money other ways, in needless toys, fast food, etc. I told my son that I thought this was tasteless. Their turn will come soon and people will remember. People will see their material things and will not understand why even a $5 bill couldn't be put in a card.
Am I wrong feeling this way? (link)
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I agree that it is tasteless. It is expected that when you attend these kind of occassions, you do bring a gift, even if it is small. I understand being embarrassed for your son. Even if he is an adult his behaviour does reflect on you. How he spends his money is not the issue here. It is his lack of generousity, appearance of stinginess, and lack of social grace.
Now that I said that, I don't think you should say much about it or start an argument over it. You should just express your feelings about it once, clearly, then let it drop.
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For 4 years i have had a condition that that always ends up in the "its Psychological bin" some of the content is, however much of it is reactive to the Physical, "psychologist refered me back to the Doctor"
initially there was severe spins, followed by a migraine, "this was diagnosed as inflamed tonsils"
next came the twitching upper lip,
two months after this, i was under some stress, i noticed a heavy sensation in the left side of the head, after a week i started to feel anxious, a close friend noticed that i was not behaving as normal, though she had no specific reason for thinking this at the time.
the sensation continued, as did the anxiety,
about two weeks after this sensation arose, there was a shooting feeling from the mid spine, this shot to the head where the sensation was,
the effects of this incl, loss of balance, difficulty moving the left eye, and pain to the left eye and above, sight seemed unaligned,
mental consentration impaired, visual residual, hearing imbalance,
temporal spasms "left side"
later, a lump would appear under the left ear, and also on the roof of the mouth
mental processing of information seems slow,as in the logic has gone out of everything,
painful neck, though not stiff "left"
the reactive "anxiety etc" or if i do anything physical or mentally concentrated makes the problem worse,at these times it seems to follow a line across head outside of this line the feeling is near numbness
i get migraines however these are over the top of the sensation, and i would assume these migraines are stress related
it is difficult to accept that it is all Psychological,
i was a pretty normal Being up till this, probably excessively laid back and A type in my working environment,
anyone got any idea's, suggestions (link)
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It could be a TIA like Ithielden suggested. If it is physical, you probably need a neurologist to examine you. TIA's are very difficult to diagnose, and usually don't get much extensive treatment because the symptoms go away.
Depression and anxiety actually can make you that physically ill. But for your own peace of mind, I would ask to be examined more thoroughly by another physician or specialist. If you already have seen several doctors, then it is probably psychological. That does not make it any less problematic or disruptive. Try to get a doctor who can give you good advice or treat you in a way that will improve your symptoms. They should not just be ignored because they may be psychological.
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well here it goes ,,,,i ha ve this friend and she likes my boyfriend i'm about to break up with him so when i do should i try to hook them up or just really let them be.... but she it my best friend what should i do. (link)
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Let them be. There is a reason you are breaking up with him, right? She may not be happy with him later.
I don't know why you would want to hook them up unless you are feeling guilty about breaking up with him.
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how do you sit in a skirt without it wrinkiling in the back? (link)
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The only way I know is just to pull it smooth before you sit down. If wrinkles really get to you, and you have an iron available, iron it half way through the day. Or you can buy a spray wrinkle releaser. Downy makes one.
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Will Clorox Bleach bleach your hair? I don't want to try it out and find out that it works! This isn't really important but I would apprechiate it if you would answer this.
I appoligize if I didn't spell apprechiate right. (link)
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If you are talking about the kind of bleach you use in the laundry, don't do it. Bleach can burn your skin and scalp if you leave it on and don't rinse it off immediately.
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I was hot one night.... 3 nights. So I turned the air temerature down and then my mom realized and she said that costs money! my family doesnt have alot of that to spend on something like this! what should i do? i dont want them to be mad at me!
help! (link)
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If you have a fan, that helps a lot and doesn't run the electric bill up like air conditioning.
Less clothes and no blankets are common sense so you have probably thought of that. Taking a cool shower helps.
Be sure you drink a lot of fluids. Getting over heated for a long time can cause heat exhaustion, especially if you don't drink a lot. I live in Florida. It is very hot here. Opening the windows sometimes doesn't help.
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Hi, my name is Faith. Not my real name because I'm wary of that on the web. However I need some advice on how to bring a subject up to my brothers without causing anyone to be mad at me and my husband. My husband and I own our own home and for years have been sharing our water tap with my brothers who live next to us. We would now like them to have their own water taps because none of us should be paying a penny more than our own usage. We all have several children, we have a pool and one brother has a smaller pool for his children (not a kiddie pool). Our feeling is the only way to be fair is for everyone to have their own. My husband has delegated me to talk with them about this and find out when they might be able to get their own tap. This makes me extremely nervous. I know this costs money and they don't have extra piles of it lying around. I need a fresh perspective and some really good advice. I love them and don't want them to get upset with us. Please think about this and advise. (link)
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I think you are justified in wanting to have your water bill separate, so you shouldn't feel nervous about that. I guess the fact that the cost of putting in another tap is going to be completely theirs is what is worrying you.
I mention to them separate water bills would be a good idea, because your family may be using more of the water than you thought and there is no way to know without separate taps. Ask them if they agree if that is a good idea. Then ask them if they would be willing to put one in in the future, that way there is no pressure.
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what is a swinger??? or swing (link)
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A swinger is someone who has a "committed" relationship like a girlfriend, boyfriend, husband, or wife, but they have sex with other couples.
Swing is sometimes used to describe 40's style music and dancing.
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What does cum taste like?
I might be giving a blowjob tonight and I want to know.. (link)
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It tastes like a lot of other body fluids that nature didn't mean for you to swallow (only not as bad.) It is not really horrible. It is just something you would not want to taste under normal circumstances. It is slimey, slightly metalic and salty, but not that strong in taste.
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My girlfriend was without a job, money, place to live a year ago. She asked me to help her and I found her a place to live,and loaned her money. I even bought her a cell phone she said she needed to find jobs. I signed a contract with Sprint in my name and paid all the bills which she promised to repaid me after finding a job. Now she has a job and makes good money but doesn't want to pay me back. I called her asking for my money and she insults me, hangs-up and lies that she dosen't have the money. Meanwhile, she's buying new clothes, ect. HOW CAN I MAKE HER PAY ME BACK??? (link)
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First I would get the cell phone back, if you haven't already.
Then I would just move on. There is really no way you can get her to pay you back, unless you want to go to small claims court or something. I don't think it sounds like it is worth it.
I know this is a really bad thing, but don't loan very large amounts of money to anyone. If you are going to, be sure you can deal with the fact that they may not pay you back.
Added -
Here is why I answered the way I did, and this is as someone who lives in the US without a legal background -
Going to court: I believe you don't have a strong case. You only had a verbal agreement, not signed contract. She was your girlfriend at the time, so this is sounding like a domestic dispute. You will be lucky to get a sympathetic judge.
Harrassing her and going to her job: She has the right to put a restraining order on you if you do this. If you continue, you can find yourself in legal trouble. Collection agencies have laws they have to abide by, and I doubt if you will get sympathy from a judge if you decide to harrass her, and she starts legal procedings herself.
Talking to her: This is your best course of action, since you don't want to just let it go. Good luck.
Regarding the negative feedback given for a few answers here, including mine, I think this is a case of already making a decision and not wanting to hear something other than what you already think. If you don't like this comment either, well, you can't give me lower than a 1.
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I know i'm kinda young,(I'm 13) but I'd really like to have an idea of what college to go to. I want to be a screenplay writer and/or a real estate agent. Does anyone know of any colleges that are good for both? or at least screenplay writing? Thanx! (link)
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I don't think you need a college degree to be a real estate agent. Call a real estate agency and talk to some agents there. It is usually just a short course to get a license. If you want a degree, I think a business degree would be the most appropriate, and you can get that anywhere.
Screenplay writing also doesn't exactly require a degree. The related degree would be English or Communications with a focus on creative writing. Screenplay writing is offered as one or two courses as part of the degree at some colleges.
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