Miranda's Advice Column :)

Ask Miranda

im with the most perfect guy. ive finally found someone who loves me for who i am.someone i can tell anything to but its like i have some sort of depression.soemtimes ill be soo bubbly with who.the person who i am but on soem days ill be excited to see him but when i do im emotionless.ill feel nothing for him.ill be numb.i want that to go away but i dont know how to be happy.when im like that ill say things to him that hurt him.i wont care about his feelings but when i leave him ill miss him.grrr how do i be who i am,the nice person that i know myself to be instead of that horrible mean person when im with him??

I get like that all the time too when I'm with my guy. Maybe you and him aren't that close or you either aren't spending enough time with him. What you need to do is express what you feel to him when you are feeling that way. He could help you out and maybe understand how you are feeling. Who knows maybe this guy is feeling the exact same way. He should care about you, if he asks what's wrong tell him. Don't be depressed. I think what you really need to do is just be with him. Maybe you'll feel yourself again and not have all these mixed emotions. Then once you had a great time with him be with your friends. It's good to have a balance so you can be happy with him and have a life as well.

5 ♥

Okay. I'm 17 and ive been with my boyfriend for a year now. He's 19 and in college but I'm still in high school. He used to do tons of cute stuff for me and I would tell all my friends about how he's the best boyfriend. Lately though it's been weird. One day we will be together and everything is fine. We will laugh and cuddle and everything normal. Then the next day it's like we are just friends hanging out. We never fight and we've always seemed perfect. I'm afraid that since I'm going off to college in the fall he doesn't know if he still wants to be with me. I'm afraid to talk to him because every time I have in the past I've been dumped. I'm really insecure about myself so I guess I just feel like I'm not good enough for him. He tells me he loves me everyday but something just doesn't feel the same anymore.

No your not being paranoid your taking caution in the relationship. It's healthy to fight at least once. If you never fight sometimes things can get pretty boring. You need to speak up and voice your opinion to him. If he doesn't hear what you have to say then it's always going to get like this. And you could get really frustrated with him and then keep all your emotions inside which isn't really a good thing to do. Not every relationship is going to be smooth and easy and perfect. It needs to change once and awhile. Ask him if you think this relationship is going to work out for the two of you. If he's ok with you going off to college and everything. Can he deal with you being so far away? Consider your options carefully. And decide what's best for you and for him.

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i think the guy im going out with is going out with someone else. his friend told me he was cheating on me. should i stay with him or dump him

It could be rumors. Have some solid proof or evidence that he is in a relationship with someone else. A good way to know is if a lot of other people know about him dating someone else. If they don't then he possibly isn't. But find out for yourself. Have a best friend to watch him, not spy on him though because that's scary. If you find him acting different towards you and your instincts are that he's cheating then ask him if he's cheating on you. You deserve to know for the best. If he is then you need to move on. But you need to have proof so right now dig for that proof and see if you can find it. Good luck!

P.S. There's nothing wrong with a girlfriend snooping around to see if her boyfriend is cheating. She has a right to know!

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love this boy, my best friend, think he has feelings for me too, we have hooked up before, i want more. how do i tell him how i feel?! like literally what words could one say!?

A tip for any girl would be to not open up too fast. Like don't share all your feelings at once, it's a major turn off to any guy out there. Don't say too much either. Just make sure you say it in the most short meaningful way as possible. Try writing it on paper in like a paragraph or 4 sentences. Then practice saying it to yourself and see how it sounds or say it to your best friend. Once you feel comfortable and confident about sharing your feelings. When the time is right, bring up your feelings and it should be easy as a piece of cake. You were prepared and that's what really counts. He could find you very attractive too. Just remember if you don't control your feelings they can get out of hand and be unattractive. So it's best to prepare yourself for when your ready to express your emotions to someone you think very deeply about. Good luck!

5 ♥

how do i get a shy guy to like me! im pretty outgoing what can i do? i dont wanna make uncomfortable!

Be a fun person. Show him the side of you that is really outgoing and exciting. Guys like that. Ask him what he wants to do though because it's also good to get the other person's opinion not always yours. Be assertive. Smile, laugh, but don't talk too much it can be a turn off to guys. If you find you guys are compatible then maybe you two could end up dating.

5 ♥

Okay so i have a guy friend & we've known each other since 4th grade & we are still friends.
im starting to think he likes me because he looks at me alot, when i give him a hug gives the beest hugs well my opinion, and i think hes just cute but the issue is, my bestie likes him! idk if he would ask me out or i should?
but idk because my bestie likes him .. but my bestie can be a big bitch at times!

You don't have to ask him out because that will cause too much drama in your friendship with your best friend. What you need to do is to let anything go it's way on its own. If the guy likes you then he will ask you out. But if he likes your best friend he will ask her out. Let your best friend ask him out and see what happens...you never know how things turn out to be. Just don't force anything and you will know what the results will turn out to be soon!

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My exboyfriend and I broke up less than a week ago and he has some serious issues and thinks im crazy (because im not going to lie i got angry and said some hateful things, but doesn't everyone do that after a bad breakup?), but thats just to make him feel better for the decision he made. I am unemployed and have applied at over 30 places and the one place that calls me back is in the same shopping center to where he works (and it looks like we will be working the same hours). Once he sees my car or me going into work he is going to think im stalking him or "oh she got a job right beside me so she can spy on me or harass me" i just want to get over him and hope that nothing will happen. my plan is to just go to work; in and out with my head down and not even look his way. I wish i had a choice to not take this job, but i need it and have no choice. How am I going to deal with working right next door to him? what if he blows it out of porportion and starts to harass me? Please help!

Oh thats such an awkward situation to be in. I wish you the best with your ex boyfriend. I agree with what you said about just going to work and not even look at him. Focus on your work, if he harasses you, immediately tell the boss. Try to work in different locations in the workplace that should help. Don't gossip about him to your coworkers unless you want to start drama. Just be calm and don't blow up if he see's you. Treat him like you would with any other coworker. Who knows maybe it won't be so bad after all. Maybe both of you can get along and be friends. Just be a good coworker and make sure you both don't get into fights so that either of you get fired. Also don't make out with him or randomly start that it could get you fired. What's most important is keeping your job, and doing your job, and helping the customers and of course to make money. What's least important is your ex.

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So ok I'll sum up from the way beginning alright so during the summer I was in a a group thing and me and this one guy let's say G well me and him became very close we always talked bout kissing each other but we never did and I regret it to this day. So G is a sophomore and I'm a freshman we have french together now but before we had math in math it was just awkward between us he was allways flirting with girls and he would barely make eye contact with me but now in French we've actually started to talk so since sweethearts are coming up I with the little confidence I have asked him to the dance. But since it was right wen the bell rang and we were going opposite ways he paused and turned around and said L I'll let you know later. I was so proud of myself but now it's Saturday and he hasn't texted or called. I think he called on restricted but I don't know because my phone wasn't with me at the time. I feel like I'm starting to regret this. He's kinda a Bad ass guy so he likes to to do stupid stuff and talk to girls and I'm pretty sure he wasn't going with anyone cause he said the day before to his friend if he goes stag he won't go. So like I don't know what I'm suppose to do now this is all stressing if he says no I have a backup but I kinda need to know so I could inform my backup friend well there's some side stories to this that might be why but if you want to know I'll send yous a private message!

To be honest I think his answer is no. You should go with your backup friend because I think this guy isn't really interested in the first place. If he doesn't call or text you soon then you should know your answer by now. He's thinking about it and if he wanted to go with you he would have asked you in the first place. Or he would have just said yes right away. But my advice is to use plan B for whatever that is and have an enjoyable time. Trust me you'll feel better about doing it, if this guy doesn't seem to go to the dance with you. If you try and push him he could hurt you pretty bad. That's the last thing I would tell you to do.

3 ♥

a guy asked me out and i dont know what to say. should i say yes or no?

Well if you like the guy and think he would be a good boyfriend to you then say yes and give the guy a chance. But if you don't know him and aren't really interested in being his girlfriend then say no. Tell him you'll definitely think about it and give him an answer as soon as possible. Remember you don't want to be rude and say no because nobody likes to be rejected. If you don't want to date him say it politely and suggest being friends. But if this guy is someone you could see for yourself in the future or a great GUY then say yes. I don't know what he's like so it's your decision. Be grateful someone asked you out because lots of girls would want to be in your position who are single. It's all up to you! :)

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why does he always bring up his ex when we talk?

He probably still thinks of her. That is really annoying. You should tell him not to do it anymore because that's rude and if he still loves his ex you should tell him to leave. I used to talk about my ex boyfriend to my boyfriend to make him jealous because that's the only way he would get ticked off. Maybe he's just trying to make you feel bad. He shouldn't be doing that. Tell him you don't like it at all. You don't want to know about his ex. If he doesn't stop then maybe you need to over think about this relationship and move on.

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Boys just don't seem to like me (and the ones that do have girlfriends...go figure). I'll be the first to admit that I'm a girls girl. I don't really have a lot of guy friends. But I am 19 and in college. Not to sound narcissistic but i'm decent looking, and i am in the best sorority at my school. I don't know how to fix this.

I think your just in a stage where you think no guys like you at the moment. I've been there and I felt like abosolutely NO ONE would ever wanna date me. It sometimes takes years for single girls to find boyfriends or guys that are interested in you. But look at it on a positive note at least a million jerks don't like you. They could hurt you, and make your life really dramatic and you would get so annoyed by them. Just be patient the right guy will come along. I waited a long time for one and I pretty much gave up on love. It will come when you least expect it too. So don't think too hard on love or don't pay attention to guys. Once you do that maybe a guy will find you attractive and ask you out. Just don't focus on finding a guy let him find you.

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I met this girl at church three and a half months ago. She is a good person and we are so compatible. I love her a lot. I have some issues with her not calling me until the late evening, not answering my texts or even remember my birthday! She doesn't work and her kids are at school. Plus, she is always busy to see me. She never commits to a time and if she does she rarely follows thru. I feel that new relationships require time together not once every three weeks. What should i do? Am I asking for too much? By the way she just left a abusive relationship before we met. now when do see each other she treats me and makes me feel special but I am hurt because I don't see her often.




Well that doesn't sound good at all. You should dump her. She doesn't seem like she's interested in you at all. If she's always busy that means she doesn't want you in her life. It's sad but maybe it's true. Your not asking for a lot at all and that's completely normal to be concerned about your new relationship. She was in a abusive relationship before so she might not be really into anyone new right now. She's giving you too much space. If she doesn't get better the best thing to do would be to dump her.

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Here's my situation

I recently got into a long distance relationship
with someone who i met online he's 22 i'm 20 his name's Luke we get along great and we've got tons of things in common but here's the catch he's got a friend she's a girl her name's Keke and she's saying things like she wants to marry him & she told me she likes him she thinks were best friends
and aren't dating i'm scared he'll leave me and
end up going to her and i'll be left alone i feel like she's coming between us and i feel left out i
feel like he loves her more then me i really want this to work out between us and i'll be upset if it doesn't i'm unsure of what to do and how to approach this...

Advice please(:

Ahhh you have to know how he feels about her and you. Observe his actions with you and her. If he chooses her then you have to move on. But if he chooses you then great! You should probably talk to the girl and ask her whats going on and just be friends. But don't like the girl you can hate her all you want. If he's in a relationship with you like he says he is he shouldn't leave you for her and if you trust him not too. He and her could just be really good friends. Or she could just like him and he doesn't have any interest in her at all. Just make sure he likes you and if you have proof that he likes her then leave him. You don't want him to leave you first because it will hurt you more.

5 ♥

Should I get in I fight over a girl (love) cause I really like her she likes me and him she will date who ever wins the fight but I dont know how 2 fight I know the blocks how 2 punch etc I just can't hit hard enough

So should i fight?


And how 2 increase punching power I know how to block this fight may be tomorrow so????

As dangerous as this sounds you shouldn't fight over a girl. Its sweet and she might like it. But tell her you won't fight over her if she loved you she would have already picked you. Just show her another way to win her over by impressing her. You could get seriously hurt in the end and if you win you would have hurt someone or even injured them. If you lose you could have a broken wrist or whatever. Show her you love her some other way that's not violence. It should work because I would even accept that the guy that loves me doesn't have to fight for me.

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im a 11 year old female i like this boy but heres the problem like this girl i know went out wit him they had a back n forth relationship shes not goin out with him no more she got antoher boyfriend but im kind of afraid to ask him out because she like so popualr n ghetto i mean if someone make her break a nail she got people to bet them up well the guy brings the best and worst out of me mostly the best we be talkin on the phone until 3 in the morning i ask my frand to ask him wat he think about me he said i was in the middle but he got like mood swings one day he talkin to me the next day hes not hes confusing my frands tell mii not to ask him out because imma get bet up that girl but i really like him and he dont treat me like the other gurls he treat me better should i go ahead and just ask him out and not worry bout all tat

Your 11 years old you shouldn't even be dating yet and you should be asleep at 3 am. Don't ask the guy out, you don't need any of this drama. The girl could get pissed by you. You shouldn't be getting into any of these problems. Wait till you find another guy who likes you and will ask you out. It will be a lot better for you. Wait until your older to date you won't know what to do in the dating world. Be safe and have fun with your friends! Just be friends with guys until your older.

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ok im looking for adivice. my girlfriend doesnt seem into me! im looking for answer that tells what i should do help as soon as possible. thxn alots bye ima male and 16 helpsssss plssssss

She could be feeling not special or sick or something worse. Just try to figure her out. Ask a lot of questions. Try to make her feel loved. Give her some space. Don't be too much of a nice guy though. Just be there for her when she needs you. She could be mad at you. So definitely communicate with her as much as possible. Don't ignore her.

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I'm in 9th grade and I have this really cool guy friend. We share a lot of similar interests and I can't tell if I like him or LIKE him (you know what I mean). He's really nice and cute, and I could see us together, but at the same time I don't know much about love (I've been single my whole life don't laugh) and I can't tell if I like like him. I don't feel shy around him and we'll talk all lunch period about random nonsense. Am I falling in love with him?

If you have some kind of connection with this guy then yes you do like him. There's got to be something about a guy that makes you attracted to him. It could be anything I'm not sure what you like about this guy though. But you could like his jokes, or his smile, or the way he talks to you or how much attention he gives you. It's whatever you like about him. I'm gonna think you just started liking this guy because your starting to wonder what it is about this guy?! He could be your first love since you said you were single your whole life. Go with how you feel and act from there. Have fun!

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my ex and I have been talking on and off for awhile, and it seems like when we don't talk he stalks me, what I don't understand is that he has my number, why can't he just call or text me instead of showing up unannounced where ever I am... it's becoming really strange and it's not a coincidence because it has happened more than 3 times... what I don't get is that he is the one who stops talking to me or says that it's not working out right now, but then he shows up where I am, can somebody please give me a good explanation as to why you think he does this?

He's probably checking up on you because he wants to make sure you aren't with anybody or flirting with any guys or whatever. This guy is weird. He hasn't moved on yet. He probably misses you and wants to check up on you and stalk you with some proof. Don't let him control you because your not his girl anymore. Do whatever you want even try and make him jealous because he shouldn't care about you anymore your his ex right?

Don't talk to him anymore. I hope this helped!

4 ♥

19/f

I've been having a lot of personal issues lately. When I was 18, I moved out of my house, and now that I am almost 20, I have moved back in with my dad. A lot of things have been happening that made me decide to move back here, and it was a really hard to decision that ultimately ended my relationship with my boyfriend. Anyways, we have been broken up for 2 weeks (maybe less, I forget because I'm in a fog) and he already likes someone else. I am fine with him having friends and doing what he needs to to get over our break-up because it was definitely a shock to him, but it hurts my feelings as well. 2 weeks ago he told me he loved me and wanted to try and work this out, and now all of a sudden he likes another girl. Am I wrong to be upset by this? If it was longer than 2 weeks, I probably wouldn't care so much but I'm really hurt and I don't know if I have the right to be since we are both adults and can do as we please.

I really want to continue to be his friend, but now that this has come up it makes me feel weird and now I don't like him as a person. Am I in the wrong? Is he? Should I just get over it?

Thanks in advance.

Listen to the person below me they gave you some great advice. In fact I was going to say most of that stuff but I'll help you out with a few other things.

The truth is he hasn't moved on. No guy can move on in less than 2 or 3 weeks thats ridiculous. He loved you very much and the only way he can get his feelings to leave him is to date other girls. This girl he likes, well he doesn't even like her she's a rebound. He could be trying to make you jealous. Don't let it get to you. To be honest with your situation...I was in a relationship with a guy for 2 years and he broke up with me. Then a week later I found out he liked someone else and he was flirting with her. I was really hurt because I still wasn't over him. He would still talk to me and it hurt when we talked because we played the "friends" role. Then he asked her out the next day and I was in so much pain I went crazy. I felt like beating the girl up and fighting for him. But instead I had to do it the hard way and completely cut any communication with him and find a new guy. I actually found someone better now and I'm glad I'm not with him anymore. I found out later that my ex broke up with her. Then he came back for me. I said no to him though because he doesn't deserve me and I'll never forget what it feels like to be betrayed by an ex. So there's my story hope it helped you out :)

What I suggest you do though is to not talk to him. Don't be friends with him. Have some time to heal at least a month or 2. It will be hard but you have to realize that you don't need him anymore. Once you have made that decision you can let a better guy come into your life and treat you better. Wish you the best of luck!

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So i finally got the guts to message the guy I like and we got past the hey whats up good, how ya doin great great part. but now i don't know what to saay. it's going good so far i got a few smileys haha but what do i say next? i don't want to end it obviously haha. thanks.

Just ignore him and wait till he messages you first. You shouldn't talk to guys who you are interested in FIRST, because for so many reasons. I know my advice isn't what you want to hear. But it's how to be a girl who's hard-to- get with men.

If you plan a day to hang out with him then you are being easy. You need to let him talk to you first and let him plan a day to hang out. Don't be the first one to talk to him. End the conversation and wait till he talks to you first.

That way you wont get hurt. Hope you take my advice!

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