I have a wealth of life experience, some because I've paid attention to other people's mistakes, and some because I've made the dumb mistakes myself. My dad use to say that experience was not the best teacher but the hardest teacher. Many, many times, I wish someone could have given me the heads up, but it did not happen that way. So without choice, I had to learn the hard way. I am willing to share my wisdom with you.
Location: East Coast
Member Since: April 6, 2010
Answers: 22
Last Update: April 12, 2010
Visitors: 4030
Main Categories:
Love Life
Friendship
Mental health
View All
|
| |
|
Well there is a cute kid in my lunch break in school. I'm fifteen, as is he. Now, I walk in the back door from the east stairs and I have to walk by his lunch table to get to mine. When I walk in, he is already at his table with his food, I pack. I walk by his table trying not to be like creepy staring him down or anything and I glance at him and usually he's already looking and me. We'll hold the gaze until I'm behind him so he doesn't turn around. I think it's adorable, my heart melts when we look at each other because he has the prettiest blue eyes ever. Why does he keep looking at me? Is he diggin me? I mean, common sense says yes, if I look at him because I think he is cute, he looks at me because he thinks I'm cute, right? If he thinks I'm cute, what does that mean, does he want to get to know me? If that's the case, why doesn't he talk to me? He's far from shy so why isn't he doing anything about it? He has a lot of friends that could make my life miserable if I just walk up and talk to him like a moron, they'll humiliate me the rest of the year. Please, help! Thanks! (link)
|
Dear Is he diggin me,
I absolutely understand where you are coming from, as this has happened to me many times. I have been told it is because I can be intimidating. In other words, the guys who stare at me and don't approach me see something that tells them they can not get over on me easily. It says they are trying to figure me out because they know that average bull lines will not work. Sometime a male can tell this from watching the way you carry yourself, and you don't sound like a rah rah girl or you would've gone to holla at him already.
Now this is gonna be hard to hear, but trust me on this one. Leave him alone. If he hasn't approached you, it's because he has nothing good to offer and doesn't know how to lie to you about it in a way that you wouldn't figure him out. Or, it's possible that he has a girlfriend already that you haven't seen, but he still likes to look. Men do this to assist their fantasizing for when they're alone.
One more thing that's gonna be difficult to hear is this-males, especially in your age group, just want to get in your panties. They've recently learned about sex and how good it feels to them and want to experience it as much as possible. If he does approach you, trust and believe it's not because he's eager to meet your parents. He wants those panties off!
In conclusion, just leave him alone, glance at him if you will, but hold your head high knowing that you are a prize he can only fantasize about getting. There will be more men to come your way that are not afraid to behave like a gentlemen.
Take care,
DeeplySetting
|
long story.
My boyfriend and i have been broken up for around a month now because he is going through a depression. We don't talk anymore and i really miss him.I was wondering what I should do here is the story.
I've know this guy since i was in 8th grade. I started liking him in 9th grade and we were together for a day or two but I broke up and were still friends. Around the December he went into a depression. He felt back stab by his friends and went through a bad breakup. So he cut off all communication with everyone for months and barley talked to anyone towards the end of the school year. I was always there to give him hugs when I saw him really down.
He moved schools for our 10th grade year and got out of his depression. We talked every couple of months but nothing major. During the summer of our 10th grade i texted him and we began to talk regularly and began to like each other a couple of months down the road. We fell in love and made it official in August. We were very in love and even planned to get married and have kids. I had never had a relationship like that and neither did he. We never broke up and never really had fights. we had some problems but what couple doesn't . towards February he started to tell me that he was getting depressed. I noticed that he started to be sad on certain days. But we were still together. Then in March we got into a little fight and didn't talk for 3 days. When i asked him to hang out he didn't make an effort and went instead to the mall. Then he told me he was unhappy but he wasn't dumb enough to leave me. After hours of talking about it he decided to take a break. but we still talked and called each other pet names. He came over and we still acted like we were together. Finally a couple of days later he said that he doesn’t know if we would ever be back together. and that I should move on because his depression was getting worse to the point where he was seeing things. He told me he needed his space and that he didn’t know if still loved me. But to call him when i really needed him and missed him to much. We did that for a couple of weeks. ( I had surgery so he came over to make sure i was okay we made out and when he left he said he felt worse). On his birthday we talked and hung out at the library to help him with a paper he was writing. ( i had always helped him with work. and also helped him decide to go to college)
We would go days without talking and I felt that my being around whenever he needed me was pushing him away more. His depression was not improving and he was bringing me down. So on Wednesday I told him that I couldn’t be there anymore that he was bringing me down and that I had to move on.( he would always tell me that i needed to be strong and move forward with my life so I told him that I would do that) And to not call me anymore. I didnt say this in a mean way and he said that he agreed and that it would be best for me. We said we wouldn’t talk again after that. He said hopefully one day we would run into one another and things would be different. I told him this hoping me not being around would make him miss me a little. And he will call one day. I still love him and really want to be with him. Or at least have him in my life
Now.... I really miss him and I was wondering if we would ever talk again. He told me that he regrets when he stopped talking to his friends and tried to get back in contact with them last summer. Im hoping he does this with me.
But from what I told you. Do you think we are over for good?
Should I call in a few months if he doesn’t call me if I still miss him?
Do you think this is because of the depression. Or do you have any advice for me.
ps. I am moving on with my life and I will start dating soon. I just really want him back and want to be with him.
(link)
|
Dear ex depressed what should I do,
I totally understand your pain. Yours is a heart wrenching experience where the decision to be separate from a loved one has nothing to do with problematic interactions. There's a saying in love that "sometime people who love each other just cannot be together." Know that you are not alone, because this happens throughout life for various reasons. Your situation involves depression.
Now, your query is pertinent and logical, so I'll answer directly. Yes I think it is over for good. No I do not think you should call him. Yes, it is absolutely due to his depression. You did not state your age, but you have made a wise decision that some well in years cannot find the strength to make-that is to move on with your life.
First let me say you have made the correct decision because (1) he told you to move on and (2) he was bringing you down. Always listen to what a man tells you about himself. Do not doubt him because he knows himself well. Also, always look out for your emotional and mentall well-being first. Without those you have nothing.
In conclusion I will add this, never say never. It is possible that this man will become a better person. However, that will only happen when HE DECIDES to take charge of his life. He needs to get into therapy and delve into the reason for his depression so he can resolve those issues. Perhaps something happened to him when he was a child. He may need to take medication. Regardless, he needs to do it for himself-because he's tired of feeling that way. Not for you and not for the relationship. Deciding he needs help and seeking it, will probably take longer than working through the issue itself.
So live your life knowing that one day, he may get healthy enough to appreciate and admire how you have maintained your own mental health. However, if he never does, you can hold your head high in confidence in the good decision you made, because he is certainly not the last man on earth.
There is another saying in life. "When one door closes, another door opens."
Take care,
DeeplySetting
|
|