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My ex is depressed what should I do?
long story.
My boyfriend and i have been broken up for around a month now because he is going through a depression. We don't talk anymore and i really miss him.I was wondering what I should do here is the story.
I've know this guy since i was in 8th grade. I started liking him in 9th grade and we were together for a day or two but I broke up and were still friends. Around the December he went into a depression. He felt back stab by his friends and went through a bad breakup. So he cut off all communication with everyone for months and barley talked to anyone towards the end of the school year. I was always there to give him hugs when I saw him really down.
He moved schools for our 10th grade year and got out of his depression. We talked every couple of months but nothing major. During the summer of our 10th grade i texted him and we began to talk regularly and began to like each other a couple of months down the road. We fell in love and made it official in August. We were very in love and even planned to get married and have kids. I had never had a relationship like that and neither did he. We never broke up and never really had fights. we had some problems but what couple doesn't . towards February he started to tell me that he was getting depressed. I noticed that he started to be sad on certain days. But we were still together. Then in March we got into a little fight and didn't talk for 3 days. When i asked him to hang out he didn't make an effort and went instead to the mall. Then he told me he was unhappy but he wasn't dumb enough to leave me. After hours of talking about it he decided to take a break. but we still talked and called each other pet names. He came over and we still acted like we were together. Finally a couple of days later he said that he doesn’t know if we would ever be back together. and that I should move on because his depression was getting worse to the point where he was seeing things. He told me he needed his space and that he didn’t know if still loved me. But to call him when i really needed him and missed him to much. We did that for a couple of weeks. ( I had surgery so he came over to make sure i was okay we made out and when he left he said he felt worse). On his birthday we talked and hung out at the library to help him with a paper he was writing. ( i had always helped him with work. and also helped him decide to go to college)
We would go days without talking and I felt that my being around whenever he needed me was pushing him away more. His depression was not improving and he was bringing me down. So on Wednesday I told him that I couldn’t be there anymore that he was bringing me down and that I had to move on.( he would always tell me that i needed to be strong and move forward with my life so I told him that I would do that) And to not call me anymore. I didnt say this in a mean way and he said that he agreed and that it would be best for me. We said we wouldn’t talk again after that. He said hopefully one day we would run into one another and things would be different. I told him this hoping me not being around would make him miss me a little. And he will call one day. I still love him and really want to be with him. Or at least have him in my life
Now.... I really miss him and I was wondering if we would ever talk again. He told me that he regrets when he stopped talking to his friends and tried to get back in contact with them last summer. Im hoping he does this with me.
But from what I told you. Do you think we are over for good?
Should I call in a few months if he doesn’t call me if I still miss him?
Do you think this is because of the depression. Or do you have any advice for me.
ps. I am moving on with my life and I will start dating soon. I just really want him back and want to be with him.
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Dear ex depressed what should I do,
I totally understand your pain. Yours is a heart wrenching experience where the decision to be separate from a loved one has nothing to do with problematic interactions. There's a saying in love that "sometime people who love each other just cannot be together." Know that you are not alone, because this happens throughout life for various reasons. Your situation involves depression.
Now, your query is pertinent and logical, so I'll answer directly. Yes I think it is over for good. No I do not think you should call him. Yes, it is absolutely due to his depression. You did not state your age, but you have made a wise decision that some well in years cannot find the strength to make-that is to move on with your life.
First let me say you have made the correct decision because (1) he told you to move on and (2) he was bringing you down. Always listen to what a man tells you about himself. Do not doubt him because he knows himself well. Also, always look out for your emotional and mentall well-being first. Without those you have nothing.
In conclusion I will add this, never say never. It is possible that this man will become a better person. However, that will only happen when HE DECIDES to take charge of his life. He needs to get into therapy and delve into the reason for his depression so he can resolve those issues. Perhaps something happened to him when he was a child. He may need to take medication. Regardless, he needs to do it for himself-because he's tired of feeling that way. Not for you and not for the relationship. Deciding he needs help and seeking it, will probably take longer than working through the issue itself.
So live your life knowing that one day, he may get healthy enough to appreciate and admire how you have maintained your own mental health. However, if he never does, you can hold your head high in confidence in the good decision you made, because he is certainly not the last man on earth.
There is another saying in life. "When one door closes, another door opens."
Take care,
DeeplySetting
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