I'm not here to tell you what to think or do, but to give you as much honest, accurate information as possible. If I don't know an answer to a specific question, I'll research it before replying. I won't sugarcoat things; my job is to tell it like it is.
I've got a particular interest in sexual health and sexuality. I know a lot about fertility and pregnancy - and firsthand now, as I've just had twins. I'm also an accredited sexual health worker.
Gender: Female
Occupation: Counsellor, writer, mother of twins.
Age: 31
Member Since: August 9, 2004
Answers: 1493
Last Update: November 5, 2009
Visitors: 172980
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ok so im 14 and female i enjoy touching myself and i was wondering what i could use to stimulate myself besides my fingers? (link)
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Your imagination. Of course this means you can have fantasies while masturbating, but it also means that you can use that fabulous brain of yours to think of other things you might find stimulating.
Remember to only use clean, smooth (no sharp edges!) things - whether you are using them on the inside or outside.
You can also use your fingers in new ways - masturbation includes fingering yourself, though most people prefer to touch their clitoris. Just let your fingers do the walking and figure out what feels best for you.
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I have been shaving my vagina, and every time I do it, it hurts and it bleeds. My boyfriend said it's because when shaving, the hair is being pushed up and it's not suppose to go that way, and I don't think I can shave down because I might cut myself by doing that. I can't get it waxed professionally because I don't have any money, I don't know what else to do. Is there any other way of shaving without it hurting? (link)
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If your vagina is bleeding while you are shaving, STOP. Blood should never, ever enter the equation.
At this point, you need to leave the area alone for awhile to let the skin recover. When there are no scabs, blood, etc then you can think about safer ways to shave yourself.
Shaving will always bring razor burn - small, red dots that may itch or be uncomfortable. As I said before, bleeding should not be happening. You need to be gentle with your skin, particularly skin in sensitive areas.
Once you've given your skin a week or two off, invest in a new pack of razors. Every time you shave your pubic hair, using a new razor is best. Also use plenty of shaving cream. It might help to use scissors to trim the area before shaving.
And your boyfriend is right - you need to pulling the razor down, not pulling it up. Try to only go over each area once. This may mean it could take a couple of tries to get the area completely smooth, but it's much nicer for your skin. If you are using the razor correctly, you will not cut yourself.
Another thing for you to consider is whether you want to continue shaving. Not many people shave themselves clean - and after all, you are experiencing quite a few problems because of it. Having hair on your genitals is natural, normal, and fine - if you are comfortable with it.
Best of luck. Remember to STOP shaving if you feel any pain or discomfort at all. Shaving should not cause either, even in the tiniest amounts.
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F/16. okay so my boyfriend likes girls to be shaved completely. and well i do that but most times i get really bad razor burn, but i don't want him to know that so i aviod doin things with him. i can't wax, the only thing i can use is a razor. so how can i do this without getting bad razor burn?
thanks (link)
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Razor burn is the gift that keeps on giving - it's very hard to shave and NOT get razor burn. You say your boyfriend likes you completely shaved. I wonder if it's really worth it as it makes you so uncomfortable and defeats the purpose of getting closer to him if you avoid doing anything with him.
Perhaps you might want to reflect on things which will make both of you happy - a close trim, for example, won't give you any razor burn and will still keep you looking nice and tidy. And the true bonus is that you won't want to avoid sexual contact as you won't have those red bumps everywhere!
If you are determined to keep hair free, I would wonder why you can't wax. If you can't get it done professionally for whatever reason, there are some fab home kits you can buy from most any pharmacy. (Note: never EVER use any sort of hair-removal cream, as this can really mess with your sensitive skin.)
If razors are still your object of choice, trim your hair very short before shaving. Use a brand new razor and shaving cream. Shave only in the direction of the hair growth - meaning starting at the top and pulling the razor down. Try to only go over each area of skin once. This might mean it would take you several attempts to get completely shaved, but it might help cut down on razor burn.
Avoid being rough on the area afterwards - baby soap is a nice, non-irritating way to wash the area - and use your hands, not a loofah.
Best of luck!
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1).can you masterbate while you are on your period?
2).if so would you bleed more?
3). would your cycle go on longer or stay the same? (link)
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You can masturbate when you are on your period. Some women even feel more frisky during this time. Masturbating will not make your cycle lighter or heavier, though if you get really wet it may make it appear that there's more blood.
Likewise, it won't make your cycle finish sooner or later.
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can they tell if u have aids in a normal blood test or do they need a special test to know . plz help (link)
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When doctors draw blood, they can test for a huge amount of problems. Anything from cholesterol, certain cancers, HIV/AIDs, white blood count, etc.
A doctor needs to order a specific test for whatever they are trying to find. If a doctor did not order an HIV test on your blood, the technicians would not look for it.
If you are interested in finding out if you have HIV/AIDs, blood tests are not the only way. A simple cheek swab can also be used for the test. You can get free tests at a local clinic, or as your doctor for more advice.
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Hello, I am a 15 year old female. I am constiantly getting called names because of my breast size, which are really big compared to the rest of my body. I am rather tall and rather skinny, but I have a 36C bra size. Many of my peers at school haras(sp?) me, mainly boys but sometimes girls. I do not know how to react to this because some of the times it really does bother me of the things they say and do. Any advice would be great. Thank you! (link)
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People will always find something to make fun of others about, and it's usually a noticeable part of their body. In your case, it's your breasts.
You won't be able to control what they say, but you can control how you react. If people close to you are saying things that bother you, you might be able to say something like, 'When you say stuff about my breasts, I feel annoyed and hurt.'
If it's people you aren't close with, you might not feel comfortable confronting them. That's okay.
The thing about our bodies is that they are the only bodies we've got. The only real thing that can happen here is that you learn to become comfortable in your body - if you feel secure and confident, that will lessen how badly you feel when other people say cruel things.
The size of your breasts doesn't change who you are as a person. And while you may feel your breasts are huge at this point, remember that girls continue developing until around their 18th birthday - so those who are making fun of you now may catch up to you soon.
I wish you the best.
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Right, I need help. I am on the pill and i dont take it at the same time but round about the same time and i missed it one day but took it in the morning,1 day after finishing it this month i had sex and didnt use protection and we had abit of an accident. I normally start my period the next day. I did but it keeps going on and off...and i keep getting sharp pains in my tummy and i know they may be period pains but after 4 days i thought they may have wore off by now. I start back on the pill on wednesday but dont want to because ive heard that if you are pregnant and do go on the pill it may harm your baby. I need to know is there any possibility i am? (link)
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There is always a possibility of pregnancy, even when using birth control.
Your first port of call is to read the intrustions in your pill. This will tell you, based on the type you are taking, if it is considered 'safe' to continue without condoms if you miss one day and then take it the next.
As every pill is different, only the instructions and your doctor would be able to answer definitively.
Your period could be iffy this month because of the fluctuating use of the pill - or because there's a chance of pregnancy. Your best best is to speak to your doctor and ask for his/her advice.
If you are not pregnant, you may want to speak with your doctor about finding a better method of birth control for you. The pill does need to be taken every day at the same time - if you are having problems doing this, there are other types which users essentially can't mess up with. These include the shot and the implant.
I wish you the best.
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Is it ok to use the same condom and cum and then do it again? Is there a chance of pregnancy? (link)
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No, it's not. Every time you have sex you need to use a new condom.
The safest thing to do is that after you cum, hold on to the condom at the bottom of your penis while you pull out. Once your penis (and the condom!) are away from your partner's vagina, remove the condom. Tie a knot in it to keep things from spilling, and then wrap it in tissue and throw it away.
Start fresh with a new condom if you want to have sex again.
This is the safest, as it reduces the chance of pregnancy. After sex, your penis will go limp. If you are still inside your partner, the condom may slip off. This could mean that your cum would spill into her vagina.
I wish you the best.
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well lastnight, me and my boyfriend had sex, but he didnt have a condom so he promised me he'd pull it out before he came. well after we were finished he asked me when my last period was, like he had accidentally came inside me. he denied that and said he had taken it out before then. today my breasts hurt and i dont feel very good, but im not completely sure ( i had a drink lastnight )im just wondering if it's just nothing, just a hangover, or if i could possibly be pregnant.
=(
please help! (link)
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As soon as a penis becomes hard, it begins to leak a fluid known as pre-cum. This contains a sizeable amount of sperm, so you CAN get pregnant even if a guy does pull out before he cums.
If your boyfriend pulled out before he came, you should have felt his cum hit your stomach - or felt/seen the wetness on the sheets. If there wasn't any wet patch, he probably came inside of you.
To put it simply, there is a chance you are pregnant.
However, you would not be having any symptoms of pregnancy at this point. More likely, your mind is kicked into overdrive by the worry this has caused, which is why you are probably paying more attention to every little thing than you normally would. If you are expecting your period soon, these symptoms can also be PMS.
All you can do now is wait and see if you get your period. Be aware that anxiety and stress can cause your period to be late. If your period comes, fantastic. Get yourself down to a clinic and talk to a doctor about what sort of birth control would best suit you, and use condoms as well. Let your boyfriend know that you are unwilling to have unprotected sex - and then follow through on your words.
If your period does not come, you can take a home pregnancy test. If it is negative, reread the instructions to make sure you did it right. Retake it if needed. If it is positive, again you'll want to speak to a professional so you can find out about your options.
I wish you the best of luck.
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ok i'm 16/f lesbian, i've just started going out with a girl, it's the first time for me so i'm very inexperienced, and i need to know: what do girls do together sexually? she's been with other girls so i need to know what to do! and also, do most lesbians like girls who shave it all off? or just some? or don't shave down there at all.
thanks sooo much in advance (link)
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The thing about lesbians is that there is a lot of sexual variety. You've got fingers, hands, tongues - basically, you can do anything any other combo of people can do, and more!
Not only is there a wide variety of actual stuff you can do, each person is different. Some girls may love being penetrated, for example, while someone else would rather stay away from it.
Just as in any relationship, why not just see how things go. You may be surprised at what comes naturally. Once you get to know this girl better, it might be a good idea to let her know that while you find her attractive, you're a virgin and not sure what to do. She might actually enjoy the chance to take you under her wing!
As for shaving, it's completely up to what you feel comfortable with - emotionally and physically. Some girls let it be completely natural, some trim the hair, some only shave the bikini line, and some shave it all (though this isn't incredibly common). You want to make sure that whether you're mostly hair or mostly bare you feel confident and sexy - particularly as it's your first time.
While I do understand your nerves, I'd like to point out that chances are you won't immediately hop into bed with this girl. Sexually, you'll start slow and work your way up over a period of time. A lot of kissing and making out will probably happen before any full fledged sex, so you'll have a chance to gradually become more comfortable.
If anything your new girlfriend says or does makes you uncomfortable, makes you excited, or makes you anything at all - tell her! Sex with every person is a new experience, particularly for lesbians, and she won't be able to mindread what you enjoy, either. If you both care for each other and are attracted to each other, chances are things will end up fine.
I wish you the best.
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16/f
my boyfriend and i have only had sex once and we used a condom, but it seemed like when we were having sex that he couldn't break my hymen. I realize that the first time is generally pretty painful, but I was wondering how likely it is that my hymen is already broken and that the pain was just my vagina stretching...
thanks so much. (link)
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It's really hard for me to answer this, but I would tend to think that the pain is more from your vagina stretching. Having a hymen (or not) really shouldn't make a huge impact on pain or whether or not he can fully enter you.
It might take you a few tries to manage to accomodate his entire penis - nothing to worry about, it's quite common. Things that might help could be having him put a finger or two inside of you to help you get used to the sensation of having something inside of you.
You'll also want to make sure you are feeling really aroused, as this will make things easier. Lubricated condoms (and extra water-based luricant) might also help.
Best of luck.
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Well basically ive had sex a few times now, and ive never really had a long session as my dick seems to cum to quickly, at times my dick has cummed at the excitment of her brushing her vagina over me! i had sex the other day and within a couple of minutes if that i had cummed i really hate it and i feel i cant give girls pleasure to the maximum, so im wonderin if there's a way of making my dick take a longer time to penetrate the cum, or its because im still at a young age n my penis hasnt developed properly, please help? (link)
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Well, your penis is a part of you and not a separate identity. This is good news, as it means there are things you can do to help you last longer.
One is sort of 'training' yourself during masturbation. While you are masturbating, see if you can get yourself almost to the point of cumming, and then stop touching yourself. Give yourself a few minutes to back off from that point, and then do it again.
Regularly trying this out is valuable for a couple of reasons. First, it shows you how to recognize when you are about to reach the point of no return. This means that when you are with a girl and you feel this point approaching, you can slow down or stop moving until you're feeling more in control. Most girls wouldn't mind this, as it ultimately means you'll be able to have sex for longer.
This masturbation training also helps you learn that you are in control of what happens downstairs. Once you get your head round this idea, it makes it easier to realise that you have choices and can manage things better.
Another thing is to use your brain - meaning that throughout sex (or masturbation, again, try it out and see if it works!) you try to focus your mind. You can think about trying to stop cumming, or you can think distracting thoughts to make yourself last longer. The brain is a really amazing thing, so this might really help.
Finally, in consideration of your partner, you might spend a lot of time on foreplay. This means that she can possibly have an orgasm before sex - or at least be near enough the point that shorter sex would be okay. If you cum and she hasn't, there's nothing better than a partner who will take care of her needs. You can use mouth or fingers.
The younger you are, the quicker you will get another erection as well. So if you decide to try sex again, make sure you use a new condom. Condoms not only protect against STDs/STIs and pregnancy, but they can also reduce your sensitivity and really help you last longer before you cum.
This is a fairly common problem among younger guys, but with some practice you will hopefully be able to learn how to control your body - instead of the other way around.
Best of luck.
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Ok...so I'm really embarrased about this, so please give me a break! =] I want to know how early i should start for shaving my vagina. My mom does, but she's 40 and I don't feel comfortable asking her so I am going to ask you. What age do I start? Is it normal for girls my age? (link)
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Well, I'm not sure how old you are.
It's my view that your vagina is your business, so you need to decide what makes you feel most comfortable.
Most women do not shave all of their pubic hair off. Many trim the area to make it more manageable. Some women only shave their bikini line. Other leave the hair alone and go natural.
It's totally up to you what you want to do, though you'll want to consider what makes you most physically AND emotionally comfortable.
Best of luck.
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So im 18 and get stage fright really bad. It is fine until she starts touching me but then just goes away. Any advise? (link)
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Stage fright might be a sign that you're not feeling ready to go too far with this girl.
This could be because she's not the right one, or it could be because (regardless of the partner) you just aren't ready.
It might be helpful to take some time to think about if either of these things ring true for you. If they do, then you can decide what you want to do about it.
If you genuinely feel the time and person are right, then it might be helpful to take some action. If things are working well until she touches you, why not take control? You touch HER, tell her what you like, etc. Also try to really focus on what is happening rather than worry about losing your erection (easier said than done, I know).
But I will say that worry or anxiety can cause you to lose an erection, just as they can make it difficult for a woman to reach orgasm.
Take things at your own pace, try to enjoy what's happening, and see what happens. If you only have problems in this area with other people, then chances are something emotional is the cause. (Unless you're drinking a lot - heavy alcohol consumption makes it tricky to stay hard.)
If you regularly have trouble achieving or maintaining an erection, there might be a physical problem and I'd suggest you see your doctor.
Best of luck.
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i get excited when i read about people getting raped i feel myself getting wet is it normal to do this? im 18 & female
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Lots of people have fantasies about things they wouldn't really want to happen in real life. Fantasies are a way for you to stretch your brain sexually - and a great way to get yourself aroused.
Many people are aroused by things that society considers taboo - but again, they would not act on them.
As far as fantasies go, if they aren't hurting anyone, then go for it. Your mind and body are there for you to enjoy.
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when you 1st have sex does it hurt? ive heard tat it tears your skin & u bleed im scared of havin it i dont want to be hurted (link)
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Sex usually is not totally pain-free on the first few occasions for the female. This is because the vagina is actually a very tight hole - surrounded by very strong muscles. If it is not used to having something inside it, it is likely that it will be anything from a bit uncomfortable to downright painful.
The skin tearing that you've heard about is also called 'popping the cherry' (cherry = hymen). This is a thin membrane. This isn't something to be overly concerned about, aside from the fact that you might have a couple of spots of blood. Many women have little or no hymen by their mid-teens ... and some still have their hymen even after sex! Having (or not having) a hymen really shouldn't affect any comfort levels.
In order to make your first time more comfortable, you'll want to make sure you are physically and emotionally ready.
The emotional side means feeling really confident that you are making the right choice. This will allow you to enjoy sex more, rather than worrying or being anxious. Worry can make your vagina clench up, and also make it harder for you to feel sexually excited.
The physical side means taking plenty of time to kiss, touch, and become ready. This means allowing your vagina a chance to get wet - as well as feeling that you physically really want to have sex.
It's understandable to be worried about sex, but remember that sex is supposed to be something really enjoyable!
I wish you the best.
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ok wel heres goes dis is embarrassing for me im a female & im 18 i hav a disability rite i don't kno how to shave my vagina so could u give me instructions or something like tat
tanks (link)
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This is something that no one really ever knows for certain; most people just go by trial and error. So no need to be embarassed!
I will start by saying that there is no need for you to shave anywhere near your genitals if you don't want to. There is nothing wrong with going natural.
Other people choose to just shave their 'bikini line.' This means shaving any hair that can still be seen when you are wearing underwear - or that would show if you were wearing a bathing suit.
Some people also trim their pubic hair. This means getting a pair of scissors and just carefully trimming the hair - like going natural, just shorter.
Other women choose to shave their entire pubic area, though this is not the norm.
Things that will help you if you choose to shave:
1. You'll need to use a new razor every time. The newer the razor, the sharper the blade. This means you will get a closer shave without needing to go over and over the same area.
2. Use shaving foam and apply it all over the area you want to shave.
3. Shave in the direction the hair grows, instead of against it. (When you shave your legs, you shave against the direction the hair grows.) This does not get as much hair off - I won't lie - but it does reduce the chances of razor burn.
4. Try not to keep going over the same area again and again. It might help to trim the area before you shave, so the razor isn't fighting against as much hair.
Your other options include waxing the area, which might last longer and won't leave razor burn.
All of the above suggestions are to help avoid razor burn - a red, bumpy area of spots that can be caused by irritated skin and ingrown hairs. This can be uncomfortable or itchy. Many women who shave all their pubic hair also say that it is very itchy when it grows back in.
Best of luck, whatever you decide!
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Hi, one day me and my boyfriend were having sex he began to give me oral sex and he accidentally cut my clit with his tooth, it hasnt healed yet. Should i be worried. (link)
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Well, that depends on how long ago you were cut. Skin is skin, and nothing will heal overnight.
In order to keep your skin healthy, continue to wash your genitals once daily with a soap for sensitive skin. Don't masturbate by rubbing your clitoris until it has healed. Make sure that anything coming near your clit is as clean as possible.
If your skin still has not healed after a reasonable period of time (a few days to a week), then you should go see your doctor.
Best of luck.
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how long does sperm live in your stomach after oral sex
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If you swallow semen (which you should only do if your partner has been tested for STIs/STDs), there is no risk of pregnancy from any sperm in it.
Sperm would not be able to live long in the environment of the stomach, at any rate.
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is it normal to be wet down there when your excited do guys find that unattrative when they go down or finger you only to find you wet is it bad (link)
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Your vagina is supposed to get wet when you are sexually excited; this shows that your body is working properly.
Guys should not find this a turn-off. If anything, it should be the opposite - if you're wet, after all, it means you are attracted to them.
What guy wouldn't be pleased about that?
Generally, if you are comfortable with your body, the guy will be too. Treat this as the normal, healthy thing that it is, and your guy will too.
Best of luck.
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