VainTaraLynn's advice column

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Q: OKAY, about a week ago i was having sex with my girl friend and we were realy geting in to it and well my skin on the side of my penis riped all the way down and you can see inside my penis and everything it is realy sick i dont no what to do i cant tell my mom because well i am 14 and sex is not aloud but it hurt real bad plz help me and tell me if i should tell her or let it go and spend the rest of my life not haveing sex and if you think i should be asking a guy this then give this to a guy that will help me!

Okay then sorry for effin trying - dont give me a 1 and say your giving me a 5. go to afrocowslayer's advice site, thats my friend steven and he could help you with it, mkay.

Q: i started cuttin in 6 th grade.. im now goin into 8th .. i stopped for 8 months but then my mom and this lady she knows got into a verbal fight and i hate fighting so i cut again.. [between the 8 months i only cut 2 but not bad] i got so upset that i cut and i left like 19 deep cuts... my mom and her best friend patti dont know i cut but patti knows what is going on so i have kind of been living with her a couple nights during the week because she doesnt want me to be around the enviroment.. well the lady moved out and everything is normal but now i still get really mad and cut.. is there anyway to stop cutting other than rubber bands and the red marker because it doesnt work.

[ i have told one adult who is 20 and she is talking to me when i go to work with her monday wednesday and friday but i still cut ] .. sorry it was so long. * thanks

Been there done all that believe me. Its a dangerous cycle and it needs to stop. You have to find something else to channel your anger or depression on. Listen to loud music, scream, go running, take up sports, sleep, watch TV movies anything. Call a friend when you feel like cutting. Anything to stop, I did it for 5 years and trust me you dont want to be that addicted and dependant on it. If you really need help feel free to IM me, GLAM0R0USZ x im free to talk about this stuff, I enjoy helping people so dont be afraid to IM me and ask for help.

Q: OK well i think i might be annorexic. I'm about 4'9 and only like 86 pounds. That never seems to be thing enough for me. I'm always trying to lose weight some how or another. Now i don't know what to do...i don't want to tell my mom b/c i'm not sure if i am or not and i don't want to worry her. I'm just scared that i'm getting myself into trouble with this stuff...does anyone have ne suggestions for me? I'm scared...i dont want to end up in the hospital b/c of this...thanks in advance!

First off. By definition of anorexic is eating nothing, and exercising alot. Thats what my cousin did and she was classified as anorexic. Not to scare you but you really need to break this habbit and learn to be happy with who you are. 86 lbs is not alot, and its perfect for someone whos 4'9''. Your not fat or chubby no matter what you say and Im sure you beautiful just the way you are. If you believe in God, he doesnt make mistakes, he creates things to perfection. Therefor, you shouldnt want to be something you werent made to be. As for curing this, you can still exercise and such, just be sure to eat healthy foods, and even a little junk upon occassion. Wont kill you. If you dont want to tell your mother though or go to a hospital just eat more and dont exercise as much. If you over work yourself thats bad. My cousin was in baskettball and crosscountry and didnt eat anything and she was 5'7'' and down to 70 pounds even and almost died of a heart attack. Ive also been to that point where I didnt want to eat anything myself and it becomes really bad for your health and you become close to death.. so for your family and your sake, stop worrying about what you look like and worry about being healthy, and if people dont love you for that the its not your problem. Dont worry about pleasing others and what others think or may want, worry about yourself and love yourself for who you are.

Q: i got my belly button pierced 2 months ago and its still red/swollen i think its infected wat do i do? i heard u arent supposed to put neosoprin on it? what should i put on it, and can i treat it without removing my belly ring?

Peroxide. I would say alcohol but that would probably irritate it more. Keep cleaning it and washing it thoroughly and try to eliminate clothing / piercing contact because that irritates it more causing the infection to grow. Whatever you do, DONT TAKE OUT THE PIERCING. that leaves it open and subjectible to the infection to grow inside it once it starts to close. BADD, lol . If it still is red and swollen and you think it really is infected see a doctor or your piercer and ask them to suggest what you should do.

Q: First, please do not answer this question unless you really know what you're talking about or have found the solution.

OK, now to my question.
My dad and myself have been in a constant battle of the wits for a few years with computers. See, he used to be the only person who knew about the internet, installing, upgrades, and those kinds of things. He has always been the master of programming, as it was his job (Before the promotion), but not in computer skills.
Anyways, I developed by growing up with the computer until I started becoming equivalents with him in computer skills. I am now a bit more proficient than he is, and usually outwit him.
We have battles of wits now with the computer. He hates it when I go online when he is away, and has many checks to see that I don't. But, I have found ways to maneuver around all of them. He kind of realises it, even though there is no evident proof. So, he has begun to try to prevent me from going on at all. He tried before, but has failed, as he turned off the cable modem and I just turned it right back on. He thought I wouldn't think of it.
But, here's the problem. Recently, I was completely shut off because, well, he outwitted me. We have a cable modem and a router that goes to 3 seperate computers. Cablevision. Their power comes from a light switch that was definately on. All cords from the router were in.
If somebody could tell me how he possibly did it, I'd definately rate a 5. It is not involved with the connection of the cord to the computer, but from something before.

He could possibly have a firewall on his computer preventing the connection to go any further than that. We, too, have 3 computers hooked to a router and the main internet base being downstairs. One time he accidentally turned his internet firewall on which only gave his computer the internet because it was the main one. From that main computer, if its your dads, he can control what your computer does or doesnt do. If you can, get onto his computer, check the firewalls and make sure that the internet on the other computers isnt disabled. Also check the other computers and see if the internet is working on those.

Also. Wow, no offense or anything but tell your dad to get over the fact that someone might know a little more than what he does. =)

Q: I want my lip pierced and for people who have it done, does it hurt bad? I want mine on the side. Tell me about it please?

What should I know about lip piercings?

Okay wow holy shit. That answer about two down wasnt accurate at all. Their making it seem like its the worst thing on this planet and thats not true because hey i PiERCED MY LABRET MYSELF AND iT DiDNT HURT AT ALL. Its fatty tissue basically which makes it not hurt that much. If I can pierce mine myself, not numbed, and with a sewing needle going through slowly, taking about 30 minutes, then I think you can handle it going through in about 3 seconds, fast. Mine healed pretty much the first day I did it and I was able to take it out no big deal. I was able to eat and it didnt bother me nor hurt. I guess it would depend on the person though, if your not able to handle any types of pain then I would say that it would hurt, but for me it didnt. & News flash to that one person, I have my tongue pierced and I could eat the first day no problem, so if Im able to eat with a TONGUE RING, I think a lip ring is highly managable =) Dont listen to other people saying its excruciating, because their just trying to scare you. =)

Q: ok well me and my girlfriend have been going out for like 8 months and we have kissed but we talked bout it we want to makeout but i was wondering making out is just kiss a lot at ounce isnt it?
and if its not then please help me cause she really want to and i want her to like me doing not be like ok no more kissing go awayi want her 2 want more so please help =)....she doesnt want to french....just so you know...lol....ok thanks....ummm sry if i didnt make a lot of since or sounded wierd im knew with this advice thing

Well sweeite in order to make out, you have to french. Thats what making out is, lol. Im sorry but theres no way to make out without french kissing. =/ Tell her that. & see why she doesnt want to do it, theres nothing wrong with it ? lol. =) good luck ;o)

Q: i have 3 colors for my room picked out
Purple
Blue
Lime green

what are some cute ways to paint my walls..i have 4 walls in my room. thanks

14/girl

Why dont you try painting it purple and doing blue and lime green paint splatters or sponge stuff on there, my one friend did that and it looked totally cute =)

Q: i got my belly button peirced 6 weeks ago, but it is still kinda red at the top hole. what should i do to make it not red anymore. plus, how do i know if i can change the ring yet. like how do i know if it's healed?

Theres not much you can do for that. It might be infected, the red and swelling is supposed to go down within the first week or two. Just keep cleaning it and see if it subsides. If it starts to get pusy than you know that its infected. For bellybutton rings they reccommend 6-8 weeks before changing it but i wouldnt change it untill the redness goes down. You'll know when its healed if it stops being red or swelled, and it doesnt hurt that much when you touch it.

Q: hey all i have been thinking about getting my nose pierced, but i would first like to learn about it. just the basic stuff like if it hurts, is it hard to take care of, is it often irritating, is the piercing dangerous, about how much would it cost, and any other useful information you would like to share. thanks!

Well. I pierced my nose myself and I personally didnt think that it hurt, but I have a high pain tolerance. People tend to say it hurts because its thick cartilage, but it all depends on the person and how you react to pain. As for taking care of it, it isnt hard. You clean it with a Qtip and some alcohol or peroxide, or they might give you some stuff at the place that you get it pierced. I didnt find it irritating because air gets to it and nothing rubs up against it. Its not too dangerous either because of the reasons I just said, lol. I havent heard of many getting infected, but it all dependson how often you clean it and such. As for cost, it also depends on the place that you go too. I think it would probably cost around 20 bucks. My tongue ring cost 30, and I know nose rings cost less.

Q: Ok, at church we had a lesson on being sexually pure, and they said no "necking and petting" ...what is that?! I'm really curious...

I'll give a 5 for accurate answers!

signed,
Confused and hopeless.

Theres two versions of petting. Theres under clothes and over clothes. Petting by defition is rubbing or fondeling the upper area or lower on a females body and the lower area on the males body. Under clothes and over clothes are both called petting. Necking would be hickeys and such either on the neck or other parts of the body. Both of these fall under the category of foreplay.

Q: how old do kittens have to be to get fixed?
if i dont get my kitten fixed will she go through heat or will anything happen besides she can get pregnant?
what are some signs of heat?
will rate 5's for good answers!

Kittens should be at least a year old, I think. Thats about the time that I fixed my cat. you have to make sure that their sex oragans are fully develiped.
If you do not fix your cat, yes she will go into heat. They howl alot and search for a male cat, they also tend to bleed alot. [ those would be signs of being in heat ]

If you have a female cat its better to get them fixed to prevent your carpet from getting ruined by the blood. Unless you buy a diaper for your cat like you would do for a dog, but that tends to get annoying and not work so its better just to get her fixed altogether and be done with it.

Q: omg I axcendently stepped on my ferret and now its just like laying there and its still breathing but real heavy i dont know what to do becuz i cant like take him to a vet or nething cuz they arn't open now..i dont know if its like gonna die or what! help what should i do?
I LL RATE HHIGH!
stephanie

Just keep it resting. Try and give it food and water. You might have broke its rib cage or punctured its lungs. I have 4 ferrets and their skin is tougher than ours so I dont know if anything would be seriously wrong with it. Mine fall and get caughtunder things all the tiem, lol - but just wait it out for tonight and when you get a chacne take it to the vet.

Q: do you know what song these lyrics belong to?

you coming back to me is against the odds.. and thats what i've gotta face.

thanks :]

Its either against all odds by either the postal service, phil collins, or genesis. A bunch of bands / artists sing it but the lyrics are all the same =)

Q: hi, I am a girl who is 13. I always act mature for my age, and have friend's who are always older than me. Is this normal?

Yes its perfectly normal, some people just mature faster and have older friends because they seem to relate to them more or get along with mature people better.

Q: Do you think its okay to teach your child to hit someone back if they hit him first?

My parents have always told me never to start a fight but if someone punches you or hits you, then you have every right to defend yourself by hitting back. I personally dont see a problem with it, but then again Im not a parent because Im only 16.

Q: Hi I have had my nose ring pierced for about a month now and a little bump has just developed next to it. Any advice on what to do or what not to do? What happens if I popped it once the other day? My nose is not sore or anything its just like an annoying little bump.

I do know that if you get a cartilage pierced and bump appears next to it or udner or on it, it means its infected. I would wait and see if it subsides and just clean it and twist it. I have my nose pierced too, and I havent had that happen so its not a common nose ring thing. Just try extra cleaning it and see if it subsides and if not & it starts hurting and looking pusy and stuff then remove it. or consult your piercer.

Q: Hi,
So my aim is messed up and i cant talk at all anymore! I can do Away messages and all that blah blah blah. But anyway i was wondering id anyone knew about this site.. its like Ai-buddy and airaim (i hate them both) hehe.. and it has yahoo / msn / and Aol instant messanger on it.. my brother told me about it and we couldnt remeber it.. its like.. trinity.. ot trenity.. ot something like that? PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE HELP!! I FEEL SO ISOLATED WITHOUT AIM! .. ha.. thanks so much
thats a K!>[l

Trillian! haha. Use that. =)

Q: im 12. im pregnat. for sure. idk how to tell my mom. and my boyfriend. cause i had the baby with another guy. how much would an abortion be and what is it. and could i get it dont with out my mom knowing. or show i get it done at all. if i so, she'll porbley beat me. and then somethin might be wrong with the baby. idkk help

Im honestly not sure on how much an abortion is, but I do know when they do an abortion they go inside you and crush the baby. killing it and then they pull it out. Which is extremely gross. Im also not sure if you can get it done without your parents being there. Im pretty sure that you can. =/ I dont know, I dont really agree with abortion and I dont think that you should do it but if you really dont want your mother to know than I suppose thats the way to go... =/ as much as i disagree strongly with it.

Q: Does anyone know how to get the font "Terminal" to work on AIM? I try and it says there's no such thing. I know I have the font terminal on my computer though.

Thanks in advance!

It only works with the program Zichanger 4 - search google for it and when you get it it says something about changing fonts and than you find terminal.