about

Hi my name is Lee Ann. I am 29 years old and Graduated from Bethany college obtaining a bachelors of music. I am a happily married woman with two kids, ages3 and 2. I currently have six books out on the market, all of which can be found on amazon. The first is called The Leaf: One fallen heart and a burning desire, my second is called Avengement of Glory, my third is called Spiral of Enlightenment, fourth one is called Prodigy of the Immortal, fifth one is called Augment in the Realm of Darkness, and my sixth novel is called Bond in the Spiritual Heart. I started this advice column to see if I could give good advice. Turns out I am pretty good, better than I thought actually. I enjoy seeing people smile when I give them good advice and they use it. It makes me feel better as a person to help people. I want to make the world a better place and I think that starting an advice column is the right way to begin. Writing is a huge part of my life, without it, I wouldn't be able to function properly. After seven years, I think I have done pretty well as an advice columnist.

advice

okay so i've been dating my boyfriend for almost 2 years now. we've dated since my freshman year (his senior year) and everything was great. i mean we talked about getting married after i graduate and everything. plus we were each other's firsts. but lately i feel like i don't want to be with him. and i think it has something to do with my best friend from 5th grade coming back down here to visit in the summer. i hadn't seen him in 6 years so i spent time with him. and he always said stuff like wow you're hot and asking me if you didn't have a boyfriend would you be with me. and i feel like i need to be with my boyfriend to make him happy but its not like before when i felt like i needed to be with him because he made me happy. if that makes sense. plus i told him that i didn't want to get married right after high school because i want to go to college and experience that but he says well you can go to community college but the thing is if i can get into a university then i'm going to go. he wants things to stay the same like how we planned it my freshman year but i don't. i just don't know what to do.

You sound like the type who thinks about other peoples feelings first then think about yourself. If your having any doubts, you want to end before it gets worse. You are basically staying with him because you want to make him happy but the truth is you have to make yourself happy first. He is the predictable person who wants to do everything according to plan but you seem to be the complete opposite. You shouldn't have to do what he wants especially if going to a university is what you want. If he truly cared about you, he would respect any decision you make. I would suggest making a pro/con list. List the things that are great about the relationship and the things that are not so great. Then make a list of things that you want to accomplish. If the list is different then he may be holding you back from what you truly want.

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I want to persue a career as an actress (13) i'm pretty sure i'm devoted. But anyway, i've had a drama class in seventh grade and i was in the school play. I will be in the play this year also. I study actors/actresses very carefully to try to and pick up good techniques from them. So I have somewhat experience, but nothing like actually being on a movie set. QUESTION: What do you ABSOLUTELY need to know to become and actress? And some great techniques to use. Where do I get my start? I may know someone who has been in some plays but i'm not sure; so i have no BIG conections. Please answer these questions and help me realize my dream. ****DO NOT ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS IF YOU DO NOT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ACTING OR IF YOU AARE JUST GUESSING AT THE QUESTIONS; THIS IS MY CAREER... THANK YOU! LUV: bEcKy!

In high school the best thing to do is do performances for the school play. You may want to broaden your horizens vocally so you could play in musicals as well. The more well rounded you are the better. also when you graduate, i would look into going to a liberal arts college such as bethany college in wv. Its one of the best and i currently go there. The best thing to help strengthen your acting career is practicing monologues, finding friends and working on different scripts. The more knowledgeable you are, the better. This will mean that you will be able to pull off just about any part you want. Mirroring exercises work, breathing in and out, and even yoga helps relax the muscles. if you check out local listings in ur area, they have postings of auditions for plays. This will help you get out there, strengthen and hone your skills.

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I like the drum major of the band, like I said. Everyday, I'm getting closer to the conclusion that he likes me. Everytime the band is being bad, he will yell at the band as a whole but when he calls set and the band is ready and I'm not he won't tell me "get ready" or "come on, listen better" when someone else in the band isnt in their spot or in playing position like he says, he'll yell at them and tell them they need to hustle more. It seems to me like he yells at everyone else in the band but me and his buddies. Another thing, alot of people in the band think he's gay, which he isnt. He kinda portrays it sometimes but only his close friends, the nice band geeks and me believe he isn't. I like him alot and one more thing that might help is he talks to everyone else in the band like he is best friends with them, yet he doesn't talk to me. ps: dont reply "he likes you, talk to him." because I don't talk to the guys, they make the first move for me, I have worked to hard on a guy before to only be let down so I let them come to me. Thanks! < {(15/f)}

Its a really complicated situation. I completely understand your ideals on men and it is their job to make the first move. I don't think he is gay either, if he were he would be hanging around women more. He may likes authority over the men and in a mans mind like that, he wouldn't yell at you because technically in his mind he already has control over women. He certainly wouldn't do it to his friends either. He also may be trying to impress you by showing how authoritative he can be.

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16/f

I naturally have a bit of a large chest for a girl of my body size (34c) Now I don't have a problem with having big boobs, but the dilemma is that I have stretch marks on them from growing so quickly between 8th and 9th grade. How can I minimize or better yet get completely rid of them?

I also have some light scars on them. You see, The pores on the skin on my breasts sometimes seem to be a little on the large side (in my opinion) and it looks like there is black heads in them sometimes. I've had a compulsion to pick things since I was a little kid (I have since learned to control this and stop), but as a result I would try and "pop" these black head things. I've pretty much stopped but obviously it left circular scabs around the black head areas which turned into light scars.

One of my biggest fears is going to have sex with a guy for the first time and him being grossed out by my breasts. They're really not that bad, but I envy girls with smooth skin in that area and they always show practically everything up to the nipple. Now, I wouldn't want to dress that way but just knowing I can't show that much without being embarrassed by scars and stretch marks has been a great annoyance for me.

HELP! Its taken me so long to finally come out and ask for advice about this. I'm far to embarrassed to talk to anybody I know about it. Not my mom, best friend or doctor.

Actually, i had the exact same problem. they grew too fast and I used cocoa butter cream that you can find in the dollar stores. It cleared them up within 3-4 weeks. There are some white strips and cream that you can use to clear up the scars.

White strips are products that can be found in Rite Aide, walmart, and k-mart. You put this cream on your body then place the white strip over top of it to contain the product on your skin. If you just put the gel on, it will rub off or evaporate, not really doing much for your skin :)

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15/f.
I have been talking to this boy M since August of last yr. We have never been together. When I first met him I wasn't so interested, and now I'm in love with him. Don't tell me I dont know what love is. I've never in my life felt the way I feel about him about any other boy. As of now he has a girlfriend A. We can't stand eachother at all. M knows how I feel, but the confusion is on how he feels. I know he cares somewhat, I dont know how much, or how little. I feel like he wants me to compete with her or something, and I just wont do that. Um on Monday we had sex for the first time. Right now I'm feeling like I should just give up, he makes no effort to talk to me, or to come see me. And Monday night I feel the only reason he came was to get some. When I tell him that I dont understand why he act's like he cares when he knows he doesn't, he tells me he does care and all this bullshit. I'm just so depressed cause I want to be with him, and I dont want him to be with her, or any other girl. But he seems to not care at all. And it doesn't make it any better that I have to see them all the time at school together. I'm thinking about changing schools or something, Idk how to deal with this, What should I do?

i know when falling for a guy who is drifting away makes it tough. i think he does care but not enough to be in a committed relationship. If it was just about sleeping with someone, he would have done it with someone else. He is making you feel worse about yourself and the only way you get back is if you cut him off completely. Lets say he leaves his g/f for you but the relationship gets to serious for him. you would be put in the same position as the current girlfriend and he would be cheating on you.

find a common interest to keep your mind off him because letting him go with probably be the hardest thing you will ever have to do. I play guitar and write music to get over guys. Sometimes i just write books and in a journal. I commit myself to my school work and make myself a better person. you are worth more than he is so you need to find someone worth your expectation.

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I was 12 when i had my first boyfriend and my first kiss, The first one was really bad cause I had know idea what i was doing like my tooth went in his mouth or something it was so bad cause we were at the movies with a group of people 3 girls two boy so my ex and the other guy playned it out on how he was ganna kiss me we were in the parking lot and the other guy was trying to get the two girls disstracted so he was like omg look and ofcourse i looked cause i didn't understand what was going on then my ex was like saying my name and was telling me to hurry and come here adn i new it was about to happen i was like wtf do i do and it was so bad ha
we never madeout cause i was new to all that stuff so i was wondering how your first makeout was?.... or kiss if you haven't madeout with anyone.

Well, mine was also at the movies. He was trying to get my attention and look towards him. He leaned in and we bashed our foreheads off each other. It wasn't funny then but it is definitely funny now. I was definitely scared because i didn't know what to do either and I am pretty sure he didn't either. I foudn it easiest to just relax, take a breath, and just do it. Once your second kiss is out of the way, making out became a piece of cake. If your nervous and insecure, it is harder to do it right but if your calm, it is really great.

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so this may be a little long but i am practically begging for help here. okay so living here with my parents is making me really stressed out and making me do things that I would of never thought of doing to myself. example: i overdosed a couple months ago because of all the stress i was going through because i thought it would help and it did. it made me feel careless and i really liked that feeling. but then someone told my councilor at school and she called my mom and i had to go the hospital. at that point my parents were very generous towards me for about a week. then everything went back to the way it was. they wont let me hang out with the friends i want to hang out with. they wont let me spend the night at any of my friends. they make me go to church which i dont mind but then they make me be involved in every little thing which irritates the crap out of me. and so on and so on with all the things they wont let me do. well now i am taking ibprofen a pretty high amount everyday. and i know its wrong to please dont tell me that. i just like the way it makes me feel. so anyways to get to the point, ive been looking at things on the computer on how to be emancipated, but its really confusing. so i was wondering if anyone could help me with some information on being emancipated without my parents consent which i know i can do. and please dont tell me to try and talk to my parents, because i have tried talking to them over and over and over again, but they just don't listen and they don't understand at all. and they don't know how bad their mentally hurting me with their words and not letting me live my life. so if anyone could help that would be the greatest thing ever!
please and thanks
-cuttechick24
(if you need to know anything else just ask and i will add it on here.)

Yes you can be emancipated without a parents consent but you have to prove they are unfit parents who do not have your best interests at hand. You would also have to prove that they are abusive in some way. I completely understand why you are taking the pills but i don't know if you know or not, there are ways that are less dangerous. For example, a way to get my frustrations out that make me feel better is playing the guitar, writing lyrics, letters and burying them, reading, writing books, scrapbooking, studying, listening to music, cooking, etc as long as you keep your hands busy, you end up releasing some of the anger out in a healthy way.

I had a friend who did the same thing because she was brutually raped. She went to a party and got extremely drunk and told her mother she was going upstairs to sleep. Well she took pills so that the pain would go away and so she could sleep better, she never woke up. She died that night because she mixed pills with the alcohol that was still flowing through her veins. i am telling you this story because it can happen to anyone. I realize you want your parents to realize what they are doing is wrong but you don't want to give them the satisfaction of ruining your life.

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sadie hawkins dance is coming up soon and i already have in mind the guy i want to ask. last year his date didn't dance or talk to him so he kind of got a sucky sadie experience. so i want to be a good date to him and start conversations with him but guys always hang with guys during fast dances and i dont want to interrupt their guy time it just feel awkward and the only time alone i would have with him is when we slow dance. so i was wondering is it weird if you talk during a slow dance or should i just keep my mouth shut.

Actually, talking during a slow dance is the best thing. It makes the song go by and it helps lighten the mood. It was exciting to talk to my date during slow songs and we had a great time. I say go for it!

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how can i make myself seem irresistible to really hot guys? I mean I know this is what most girls in high school want, but there is anything that i could do or could helP? I really want a boyfriend or something close to a relationship because i've never had one and i'm a junior in high school, but how would i go about getting into a relationship? I think that if it was easier for me to get guys to notice me then i could start having something with someone. So how do I get hot guys to notice me? I know people say be confident and put yourself out there, but that REALLY doesn't help me because i still dont know what to do i want specific tips. Thank you.

The easiest way to get a hot guy to notice you is to go outside your element. If your a tomboy, you want to make yourself a girly-girl type. I would wear tight tops (that doesn't mean revealing haha), knee length skirts, put makeup on, fix your hair really nice like straighten it or something. If you feel confident you will bestow those feelings outward. For example, when i put makeup on, I feel confident and irrestible. guys pick up on that and talk to me. You don't necessarily have to talk to a guy but if you display that you think you are pretty and beautiful that day, they will notice the change.

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Michael Jackson died today and he was only 50 years old. It really took me by surprise, but it wasn't as if I didn't expect it sometime fairly soon. There have been rumors flying around for some time now about his health problems. As a matter of fact, when Michael was on trial, one day he was late because of health problems. Obviously, the judge didn't feel that Michael's health was all that important because he threatened to have Michael Jackson jailed unless he made an appearance in the courtroom. Michael showed up in his pajamas. Does anyone else remember that?

People made it out to seem as if he was faking. Some people even made it seem like he was crazy and would do ANYTHING as he was suddenly "extremely unpredictable" and all. I guess he wasn't kidding or faking about having health problems, huh?

I'm going to miss Michael Jackson. He was a man who set out to hurt no one, but the world seemed hell-bent upon hurting him. Michael Jackson was seriously the King of Pop in so many ways. Maybe he's better off wherever he is since we trashed his good name without even giving him a chance to speak. I choose to believe that he is now seated up in Heaven, seeing God for the first time.

Does anyone feel like me about Michael Jackson or am I alone in this? When I was growing up Michael Jackson was such a big role model. Sure, he was a little weird but he seemed to care and love. I'm really hurt that Michael Jackson is dead :( almost like a large portion of my childhood has been abandoned.

He died of cardiac arrest and it has been confirmed for years that he was addicted to pills. He, himself, told the world that he had a problem with giving up him addiction. This is why the judge was reluctant to feel any sympathy for him. I liked his music and I will miss him. Anyone has a chance at being in heaven and if he believed then I too believe he is sitting in heaven.

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One of my bosses at work keeps giving me mixed signals. First, he stares at me A LOT. I have a friend who works with me who says he checks me out a lot, sometimes when Im not paying attention. 2. He always talks to me or finds a reason to come around my area. Sometimes it feels like he follows me. Like today I was waiting at work for someone and he was quite a few feet away but all he did was stare and then when me and my friend go to leave the building he is right behind us and so close behind me that his feet accidentally kick mine. Then he asks me what I bought and stuff like that. The same thing happened yesterday also! One thing I should mention is that he is married! And him and his wife just adopted a baby! PlUS I have a bf who actually works with me and these 2 guys know each other! My boss is around his early-middle 30s and I just turned 21. He also mentioned to my boyfriend that he was upset that me and my bf werent having a baby right now cuz he wanted to adopt it. No idea what that means. Should also mention that my boss is known as the Jerk at work, so it is quite odd he is so nice to me. He jokes around with me a lot too, always making small talk. I dont know he just always seems to be the same place I am, always making small talk, staring, etc....what is his deal???

It is obvious that he is jealous of you and your boyfriend. To be honest, not all married couples are faithful and if you say he is jerk, then he fits the criteria of a cheater. I wouldn't worry until he has physically tried something but you should tell your boyfriend to keep a close eye on him. I think he mentioned how he would want to adopt your baby so that you guys would be connected in some way. Kind of like Juno, when the husband thinks that they have a connection but turns out it was a misunderstanding.

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I carry a lot of weight in my tummy. It seems like no matter how much weight I lose, I have a pot belly and people ask me if I'm pregnant. I see a lot of middle aged women with this problem, but I am only 21. Even if I lost weight until I was at the very lowest point of the healthy range (I have been that small in the past), I still have a fat tummy. Is liposuction my only option? I would never get it, but I want to know if there is anything else I can do to change the shape of my body. No gimmicks please. Please don't tell me to eat acai berry, spammer. I guess if you're a spammer you're not reading this closely though. Ho, hum.

When you walk, run, or ride on a bike, it increases the muscles in your legs but in order for it to grow they need fat to turn into muscle. If you keep riding on a bicycle, the fat in your stomach will move throughout your leg muscles, making your tummy smaller. Don't skip meals because they actually helps you gain. If you eat 5 meals a day, three meals with two small snacks in between, you should be in good shape within a few months.

Then it is a possibility that you have to much water in your system. Lifting weights does build muscle, that is common knowledge that you should have been taught in school or even a pe classroom. I am not changing my answer, if you think I deserve a 2 then that's fine.

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i have massive open pores on both of my cheeks. you can see everything, i look like a sponge and its really getting me down. how do i close them??
thanks!

There is an apricot scrub by st ives that helps to clean your pores of and prevent acne. You can buy it at any family dollar, walmart, or rite aide.

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I love to be outdoors. I lay out, jog, swim, etc... I also love my tan. Last week I got another itchy sunburn, but the sunburn was not even that bad really (hardly even noticed it). The itching was almost unbearable at some points a day or two after getting the mild sunburn though. So, I slathered the sunburn in aloe vera gel and took antihistamines and it worked to calm the itching down, I also had to avoid the chlorinated pool and getting my back too sweaty from working out (dries up my skin causing it to itch much more).

Are there any tips I can get to avoid making my sunburn itch, other then the obvious wear sunblock? Because I do but sometimes mild sunburns just happen and the itching always comes with it.

The best thing to use is cocoa butter cream on your skin. Put this on then the coat of sunburn gel or lotion over top of it. Then in the itchy spots put more cocoa butter so it can clear it up. This way you protect your skin from the sun, you skin stays healthy, and you hardly get sunburned.

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hello i am 16yrs old and me and my boyfriend have been dating your about 2yrs and he said i should go on the pill just in case it happens and i told him that i wanted to wait until marriage to have sex but he like always carries a condom and i am scared he mit prssure me into doing it and i even sat him down and talked to him about it and he bought me a loundry outfit from victorias secret for my bday and i am getting kinda scared please anyone help me thank you!

It might seem scary now but it is just the mind of a typical boy. He is almost like a girl who likes to prepare in advance. For example, the prom, a girl will plan a prom up to 2 years in advance. You have nothing to worry about unless he physically tries to take your clothes off. Until he does that, you have nothing to worry about. If it does go this far then you need to be strong and set boundaries for him. Let him know who is in control and in charge.

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hey. i think i need a good advice on this. I've suddenly stopped any contact or communication with my friends except for my best bud. I started to get interested with high-end fashion.. I have this "i don't care what you may think" attitude. Before, i was this nice girl who never dared to lose contact or be sweet with my friends, i was so concervative that i never had a taste for heels or skirts... but i think i got tired and i suddenly wanted to be left alone and do things my way. I had this friend who was so overly-dramatic, she's a great pal but i suddenly told her to just FORGET ABOUT ME and move on.. The boys who were eyeing me and who i constantly texted, now i just ignore them..

What's got into me? Really, why the sudden change of my persona?? I'm really confused..

I don't want to be left alone but why do i feel this??

You are burn out and want some space from everything. The more they ask what's wrong, the more you get frustrated. This is completely normal at your age. My grandmother died from brain cancer my senor year of high school and I became depressed. I did not want to talk to anyone but to be just left alone. My personality changed and so did my taste in clothes, makeup, etc. The ony thing that worked was getting my space from everything. I decided to bury myself into writing so that I could get my frustrations out in a healthy way and on my own. At the age of 18, you start to wander off because you want to find yourself and what you want to do for the rest of your life. Unfortunately your friends nor your family can help you with that decision. You may know what you want to do but you don't know how you will get there and how you will become successful when you graduate. Also, you may feel threatened because if you have to move, you would have to say goodbye. Nothing is more painful than goodbye so you push them away so you don't have to.

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18/f. Hey everyone.

A few months ago "one of my supposedly best friends" and my other "really good friends" all started these nasty rumors about me and were calling me names such as; slut, whore, skank, waste of time, waste of breath, never important, etc. I mean I was getting restricted phone calls, instant messages, text messages, messages on facebook/myspace from all these different people. I was getting verbally harassed for about 2 weeks. I'm not getting into the rumors because thats besides the point and they weren't true no matter how many times I told them, they didn't believe me. I do nothing to them, I ignore them. I don't spread rumors about them. I want NOTHING to do with them anymore. They are totally out of my life, for good.


Anyways, my current best friend (whom I have been friends with since 1st grade) stuck up for me and was telling the girls that it wasn't true. (Like a best friend should do.) But she still talks to those girls and she still hangs out with them. I can't tell her who she can and can not talk to because thats not fair to her. You know? But she says she doesn't like to hang out with them because they are immature and full of drama. Yet, last weekend she went to a party with them. There was drinking involved and you never know what was said at that party about me. Because even though it's been around 8 months, the girls still talk about me and how the rumors are true. I hear about it every so often. And you never know what was being said about me because alcohol brings out truth and whatnot, you know? You don't know who said what or what was said, etc.

Anyway, now my current best friend is leaving these girls comments on their facebooks saying how they all need to hang out again, it was so much fun, etc. She knows I can't stand these girls for what they did to me and yet she still talks to them. It hurts my feelings how she does still hang out with them. I wouldn't do that to her, even if they did nothing to me, that's just how I am. If someone messes with my friend, they have to deal with me. I tried telling her that it hurts my feelings that she still hangs out with them and talks to them, but she doesn't do anything about it. I don't know what else to do.


I don't even know what question I'm asking you guys, that's how confused I am. Haha. I guess basically, what I am asking is for some advice about what to do with my current best friend. How to handle this situation in a mature, adult manner.

You are right, a true best friend would had not only stuck up for you but also stopped hanging out with them. It would seem that she is player of the game as well, she tells them what you want to hear but in reality she is just like them. I would suggest going through your classmates and see what other friends you can find. You may not know it but there is someone in that school who is less fortunate and doesn't have any friends. I know it hurts that she doesn't listen to you or do what you ask her, which makes her a really bad friend. You may not have realized it but you really answered your own question by telling the story. I guarantee that if you completely cut off your best friend she will come back begging for your forgiveness. They always say, you want what you can't have. If you join another crowd, she will become jealous, and want to become friends again. I had the same problem so I joined theatre and became friends with all of them. My best friend got so jealous of me finding new friends, behold she joined theatre too. What a coincidance and she continued to follow me around like a lost puppy, and eventually apologized for everything she did :)

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18 M
I work in an Italian restaurant as a waiter.
I have been working there for about 4 months or so.
My boss is a very vulgar, and rude man.
He constantly yells at all of the waiters and waitresses every night. Even when we do nothing wrong. When he makes a mistake, we are the ones who are wrong. Me being one of the only two male Waiters in this restaurant he feels comfortable saying very sexual things about women, and other stuff. Now I joke with my friends about different stuff sexual, what 18 year old boy doesnt. I am tired of the sexual harrasment and mental abuse that he dishes out everyday.
My question is, if i were to quit and want to take action in court, would i be able to?
And how would i go about it?

Um you might get away with verbal abuse but since he physically hasn't done anything then there is a chance you wouldn't have anything. First off I would see a lawyer and ask him your rights, the employers rights, customers, and what violations can he not violate. Lawyer also has to read the contract because some employers like to cover their butts over things like that. Definitely look into the contract and rules thing that you are suppose to sign when you get hired.

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how do you be confident but not cocky?
in other words humble.

Showing that you are confident is good while constantly bragging about yourself is bad. It is good to want to wear makeup, change haircolor, sense of style, but if you are constantly bragging about how good you look, you will make yourself look cocky. If someone compliments you for doing good at a sport don't say things like "Oh I know" or "It was nothing" but things like "Oh...well thanks!". Basically if you present yourself as though you are better than the world, you become a cocky person but if you are just trying to better yourself as a person then it is just confident.

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ok so this might be a stupid question but on the sat i know they have a bunch of formula's listed at the top of the math section but i was doing a practice test in an act book and it didnt have any formulas at the top of the test. For those of you who have taken the act, do they give you any formulas for the math section? I really hope they do or im screwed for this saturday! ugh! sorry if this is in the wrong category, i didnt really know where to put it. Thanks in advance!

Yes, they either provide you with a formula sheet or they provide the formula in the problem. It would be difficult to memorize all of those formulas so it is a state regulation that they provide them.

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