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I can't tell if a girl is treating me as a friend or backup.
Hi, i am a 21 year old female and the girl i am about to talk about is around 19 years.
There is this girl in my class. We got close because we realised we read the same comics. But i have never felt she had become my friend. She ignores me sometime, mostly when i message her though, and we don't exactly go up to each other in the morning to say hi. She also has a lot of other friends she hangs out with. She only ever approaches me when they are not available.
Lately she has been coming to me to complain about different things, or to vent to me, or to ask different things. She also comes to me when she feels sad, mistreated or frustrated (she is quite sensitive). I cannot tell why she comes to me specifically. I feel I'm not good at comforting her or empathising with her. A part of me wants to help her, but the other part of me hates her for doing so. I have no one to vent to and with the circumstances i grew up in, i wouldn't trust a friend or anyone in my class with my thoughts.
I want to know why she does this but asking her that will for sure hurt her feelings. What do i do?
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It is possible that she doesn't realize she does this...yeah people can be that blind to their own actions. You don't want to hurt her feelings and that shows you care to some extent. But no one likes that feeling of being used and so far it would seem that she only has time for you when she needs to vent. Venting however does not solve problems, so first, I think it might be best to see if she really wants to find a solution to her woes or is she just venting, feeling that once she has done so, the load is off and she is good to go for another 40 miles.
With this being Easter season, I can't help but think that bringing Jesus into the mix can help. However, many people have such an aversion to that name, that they will take off running in the opposite direction. I don't know what you believe but if you do pray to Jesus or are willing to, you could offer to pray for her right then and there. If she truly is seeking help, she will agree. If she is not really a friend and just using you, and would prefer to continue to carry her burdons alone, then she will not come asking again, especially if she forgets and the next time you say the same thing. It won't hurt for you to simply ask God for help, in your thoughts...no folding hands or praying bedside on your knees is needed.
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