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Is it right to tease my BF so much?
My BF and I are both 15. We are both part of the same church and youth group and we took pledges not to have sex before marriage. We are lucky we have an easy time talking deep and honest with each other about our feelings including how we crave each other sexually. We kiss and cuddle but we keep to the boundaries we decided on. Even then he has to have breaks to calm down when we make out and cuddle because he gets so horny. To be honest it is fun to see how desperate I can make him. He says I am evil but we laugh and he never tells me to stop. It is harder for him because he had a history of turning to porn and masturbating and he is doing this self improvement thing where he is goes for weeks not touching so he is not tempted on the porn again. The times he has given in he gets so upset and he feels like a failure. I tell him I am proud of him for being so good for so long most of the time. I know our flirting and cuddling is making it harder for him not to masturbate. It is like we are trying to be good but having fun tempting each other. He does exercise to calm down and that is fun to watch when we face time. He looks very nice without his shirt when he is doing sporty things. I feel like we are being good but also bad at the same time. Are we hypocrites? Should we be less physical? Am I confusing him? I do not want him to stop telling me how much he craves me or knowing when he gets his erections. We feel like we are being more controlled than most people our age. He says we are playing with fire. Even when we pray about it together and he calms down it does not take much to get him hyped up again. This is not about going to the next step. No one is pressuring the other to do more. I am just wondering, are we doing too much and am I making it too hard for him to be good?
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All that you mention is very important and appropriate but only in marriage. As he said, you are playing with fire. All it takes is having punch at a party that you're told is not spiked and you both end up a little drunk and therefore not as strictly in control of your decisions. If this guy is the one you plan to marry, and him marry you, then kissing and cuddling is enough to know you both have great chemistry together. If you keep pushing it as you do currently, then it's a matter of time before you do what you say you didn't want to do. It may be that some of what you are doing (since I really don't know) is actually part of sex, foreplay and according to church and bible, is already considered having sex. Think of a fancy dinner with appetizers first, then the salad or soup, then the meal, then dessert. Its all the same thing split up into its different parts. What you engage in could well be the equivalent of appetizers, or salad or soup. Penis in vagina sex would be the dinner and dessert, the orgasm. I am much older, 65 and hubby a year younger, and what you describe sounds like us. We could be in bed and he is trying to just talk about the day while I start in working on him and he can't finish any sentence and I laugh and giggle, cus yeah, it's a rush to know I have that power to make him react as he does. And for porn or the equivalent, it works great for married partners to take the photos they want. He doesn't want to wake me maybe in the morning early so he will look at nude pics of me that just he has a collection of. THis is not something for now dear, please keep in mind, this is for a married couple and would go along well with the type of teasing you are talking about.
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