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Should I ask for what I want?
I wrote about this situation already. The advice I received was good and I agreed then now I feel different again. It was about a guy 10 years older than me( this doesn't bother me) who lives in another country. I am 25 but as said before I was going to move to his country then I met him online and changed my mind since I am religious and he isn't. I don't want to be unevenly yoked because I already see the problems that this will cause. For instance, I want my husband and kids to serve together. My feelings for this guy though are strong. Texting is not as special for me to write this but via video call the chemistry is crazy. Yesterday, I recorded it and looked back and it was like those videos you see in a movie. He is the type of guy that wakes up early to send me a text telling me not to forget stuff that I will need for work. If I call him at 3 am because something happened he will wake up and stay until I can fall asleep. Or if he will be busy throughout the day he will message and inform me why but still send a message or two during the day. However, on the other side he keeps telling me he will end up alone and that he is not sure he can follow the Bible. He just knows he believes in God. Sometimes he will attend service at my request but I don't want it like that. I do not know what to do. Of course, I do not want to change him or force him but I feel like we can make it work but I don't know how. I made a joke recently where I had deleted some messages and he asked what I deleted and I said “ my confessions of love for you” and he said “ oh I don't know what to say I am going to end up alone.” But then he calls and texts everyday. When I am annoyed and tell him I don't want to talk he sometimes just stays on the call or if he hangs up he messages me an hour or two later to see if I am ok. If another guy is interested or seems interested in me based on some story I confided in him with he obviously gets jealous because then he calls me more and texts even more. I just want us to try to work. Like keep thinking if it was me in his shoes and I would have at least tried. Like sometimes I think I can compromise but I have been there and it doesn't work.
I keep thinking maybe I should ask him to try because I actually really want him or at least to try. He is a good guy and makes me happy even with the distance. His flaws usually bother me doesn't because he has too many good qualities.
Also, I have a job opportunity near his city and I really would like us to move forward before I end up at the job .
Should I bring it up or let it be and see what happens ? If so, how long should I wait before I just give up. I don't want to because we can't just be friends. He knows that and I know that.
side note: he may be bipolar or something. Only once he told me about seeing terapist but ended up taking pills that made him feel bad.
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By religious I assume you mean church attender. However there is another classification, of one who has accepted Jesus death as payment for our sin and have a vital relationship with our Lord, talking to Him in prayer, and by his Holy Spirit hearing from Him. If you were able to hear from him, you wouldn't have as many questions. Reading the bible more often, (I am still working on that) can help shed light on some of basic direction you should go. Him attending your church service won't make him a 'saved' believer. Being just a believer isn't good enough because the demons and devil believe Jesus exists too. Only you can know whether your life is at a right place or whether there are some major shifts you need to make in yours before being ready to marry anyone, preferably another saved Christian man. I started out marrying a church going man. He did all the right things while in church but behind closed doors, treated me terribly. At some point, the devil tricked me into thinking I was following God but at same time was wrapped up in new age/paganism. While in that state, away from God, I divorced, found a man who treats me like Gold but who is not a saved child of God. So now I live with this, and it is hard being in relationship with someone who does not have the same future as i do. He is okay with me praying, watching Christian u-tube stuff, and volunteering together at a church that does a community feeding program. I know of a scripture that says that a Christians unbelieving spouse will be sanctified by God if the Christian stays with that unbelieving spouse. I did worry about the possibility of his destination after death being Hell. So whatever you do, I would suggest that prayer be a large part of how you proceed, and don't make excuses based on a job possibility or feelings, because feelings can mislead. I do see the importance in feeling chemistry with a person, such as I felt when I met my now 2nd husband. But even though I was hoping all turned out well in the end, I was now watching him to see if was consistent in who he portrayed himself to be. Some men will do whatever they think you want to see but once they think they have you hooked (in love with him) will drop the fake persona and revert to their real self because it takes a great amount of energy to keep up the fake. I pray Gods Holy Spirit speaks to you clearly. Blessings
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