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My parents say I can't begin social transitioning Last night, I admitted to my parents that I think I might be trans and that I want to socially transition. Y'know, spend a year living as a boy (I was assigned girl at birth) in order to be sure. I understand that taking hormones or undergoing surgery is a huge step, so I want to be certain before I do something that might be irreversible.
My parents didn't take the news as well as I'd hoped and told me they don't want me living as a boy. I just turned seventeen and have another year to go before I can move out on my own and live however I like. I really don't want to have to wait that long though. Any advice on how I might convince my parents to let me begin social transitioning now?
[ ] Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category? Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
You might wish to go on line and find a support group for young people, who are considering changing their sexual identities. There may also be similar resources for parents of trans kids.
As you pointed out, you will be able, legally, to make independent decisions in a year's time. Meanwhile, it may be helpful to try and find a doctor in your area, who is familiar with transitioning and with whom you can discuss the details of how to go about it from a medical point of view. (E.G., taking hormones, surgery options, etc.)
As for your relationship with your parents, remind them that you are still "you" in every sense of the word, that you still love them and want their love and approval, as always.
This is, as you have seen, a difficult and challenging adjustment for them, regardless of how firmly you are committed. And I imagine that a good part of their concern is about how they foresee difficulties you may encounter in the world.
Remember, as long as you remain in their home (which is also yours), and receive their financial support, you will be subject to following their rules, if not all their wishes. Do not expect them to jump for joy, this will require a huge adjustment on their part, and they may, or may not be able to do it. I hope so.
Most importantly, they'll need to understand that while your actions are a choice, how you feel, how you identify is not .
Good luck, ~Dr. Stephanie ]
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