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boyfriend hiding something
I’m an 19 year old female dating a 21 year old male. For the sake of the site, we can refer to him as T. T and i have been together for 8 months. He treats me perfectly but become extremely uncomfortable in situations that have to do with his phone. He hides his phone at night from me and refuses to show me. I know this is bad but i’ve found his phone and looked through it while he was sleeping and didn’t find much. He constantly is reassuring me how much he loves me but he always gets so uncomfortable, secretive, protective etc if i ever bring up his phone. The only thing i found on his phone was brief snapchat’s of him asking for photos from a female who lives out of the city. When i somewhat hinted towards it he denied it. when i checked his phone he had deleted her off snapchat. He also has a really good friend (we’ll call her C) who he’s been best friends with for years. They message everyday and always try to make plans to hang out. I found out recently that they’ve had a sexual past. I know this is all over the place but i don’t know exactly what to ask. am i worried for no reason? and how should i bring up the things in his phone without telling him i went through it? is it bad to go through s/o phone?
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I can't say whether he is truly hiding something or just a very private person who doesn't say much.
What I can say is if a female doubts that a guy is 100% only into her, it is more often than not one of the following: She doesn't trust him no matter how great a guy he is or He is not behaving consistantly in a way that has proven to her that he only has eyes for her. Note I did not write that he says this all the time, its the behavior you are looking for.
All I can add is that if you are looking for a guy who at 21, is ready to decide to focus on you only for the rest of his life, instead of keeping looking for the right partner, he may not be ready yet. Lots of guys aren't until their mid to late twenties at the earliest. How much do you know about 'C' from stories he's told you. Everyone has a past and for some of us, those are sexual pasts. That doesnt mean we go back to those people, if we are always looking for someone a step or more better than the last. I have an ex and so does my husband. I even had one of his ex girlfriends become a Facebook friend. I never have to ask or question anything, he is quick to tell me stories, how they met, how long they dated, how old he and she were at the time, etc... I know it all.
So it may be that you require a man who doesn't act secretive, who is too quiet or doesn't share things with you, hides things from you. Yes, those sound like actions of someone hiding something. But even if that wasn't true at all, the fact remains, is that if he is always like this and will be for the rest of his life, you will never be able to get to a spot where you trust him 100%. and so I am suggesting that there is a good chance that you might be with the wrong guy. Yes, even if he is not guilty of anything, the way he is and conducts himself around you is not what you are looking for and what you need. If so, he is defintiely not Mr. Right for you. I went through this after my divorce, learning how to find Mr. Right, not wait for a guy to ask me out but me doing the choosing and picking.
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You and your boyfriend are entitled to your own privacy. Do not go through his phone. That is a trust issue. You have nothing on him. Some really simple things are private to some people. It's probably nothing. If you happen to catch him in the ACT doing something inappropriate then deal with that but his phone is his own just like your phone is your own
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Hello I think that sometimes it is bad to go through his phone you just may find something you don't want to see or read. if he is keeping his phone from you then there is a reason yes talk to him let him know that you did go through his phone and how you feel ask him if there is really something he don't want you to know or see. if he gets irate then ill start to worry if the love between the two of you is really real then don't push buttons that will cause confusions if he is hiding something you do have the right to know just don't go overboard Talk that the best you can ask for. If he is hiding anything about lady C you do need to know that's just what it is he shouldn't be so secretive hiding things from you. Remember what is done in the dark will come to the light be Patience.
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