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Should I admit to younger brother to being afraid of a girl?


Question Posted Monday May 6 2019, 9:17 am

Hi I have a anxiety ridden situation to deal with. My younger brother has recently started playing soccer and he wants me to go to his games and practices. The fact is though, one of his teammates is the brother of a girl who about 4 yrs ago when I was 17 who I ended up getting into a high school drama induced argument with over something stupid eventually lead to a scuffle where in the end she ended up getting the best of me & beat me up pretty bad.. I'm worried about going to his games and seeing her there and eventually somehow he finds out that she beat me up. He looks up to me a lot and will wonder why I don't go to any games. Plus I'm worried about what he'll think of me if he finds out that the sister of one of his teammates beat up his big brother?
Am I over thinking this and making to big a deal out of it? I keep wondering if he'll think less of me now especially since he'll probably have a million questions about it. I worry about him being ashamed especially if I have to admit to still being afraid of her. Or is there a chance that it's not as big a deal these days and he won't think much of it? Thank for any suggestions.


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PoppySeed06 answered Tuesday May 14 2019, 9:05 pm:
I think it's best to leave this all in the past. Take this as an opportunity to show that girl that you're a better person and that the fight didn't affect you in the long run. I think you should be brave, but also try to explain to your brother what vaguely happened. Everyone if afraid of something, and if he looks down on you for being afraid, he's the one that's wrong. You don't have to go to every game, but in the long run, who cares about some stupid little fight? Who's going to remember that in 30 years? Well, good luck. Hope it helped.

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Dragonflymagic answered Wednesday May 8 2019, 11:58 pm:
The only people who know are your drama teacher, classmates and this girl. I am guessing there is no video of this event to prove there was an argument that started it all. There are Parents who teach their male children to never hit a female, even if she is hitting him. Though this isn't the truth in your case, I hope you have grown and changed and would no longer get into fist fights with a female, not because she might beat you, what if you beat her? Generally, males are believed by society to have more strength than a female so if you had beat her, there could have been a lawsuit and you could have been expelled from school. So, I would say to secretly be happy that things went as they did. It doesn't matter if this girl is at a game and if she wants to shame you be telling everyone. All you have to say is that you believe that a male should never hit a woman, no matter what so yes, she was fighting with you and you let her win so you wouldn't hurt her. That could save your face in public. It's up to you whether you pull your brother over in secret and tell him what really happened but that was who you were in the past and you would no longer consider hitting a female, no matter what.

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