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Relationship troubles or overthinking it? NSFW
I've been with my S.O. for about 4 months now and we recently moved in together. Everything's been going pretty well, but some things are bothering me and I just wanted some insight from other people on whether I'm just overthinking things or whether these are really issues.
My #1 issue is that I feel like I do a lot for him, but he doesn't see it. He's type one diabetic and so I go out of my way to make him low carb lunches every day during the week and dinners (from scratch) about half the week. I make the bed, feed our two cats in the morning, scoop the litter, grocery shop, run errands, take out the trash, and keep the house clean in general. I also take full time classes in premed and I work 4-7 hours a night (depending on the shift). He works 8 hours a day so I will give him that and he's the breadwinner. He does take out the trash sometimes and does his own laundry, but other than that I do everything else. I pay half the rent and my own bills, he pays electric, the other half of the rent, wifi, and we trade off for groceries. Sometimes he'll nag me to do things I just haven't gotten time to and when I ask him why he doesn't do it he tells me that since he works so much he shouldn't have to do it. I feel like that isn't fair? I mean it's something I can deal with and we don't fight about it, but it's been bothering me.
We also seem to have some kind of disconnect in bed. I feel like I do 80% of the work because he likes me to be on top. While, this isn't the worst thing it's always a little disappointing. I confronted him about it a couple times and he told me he's just too exhausted from "working all day". I also feel like I have a much higher sex drive, and I don't know how to help that, which is frustrating when he's done and I'm not... Another issue is that twice now he's convinced me to not use a condom, and then later say we should have. I feel like that's not fair to me and it makes me feel bad about myself.
Am I overthinking these things since we don't actually really argue about them and they're things that are tolerable? I know nobody is perfect and maybe I shouldn't take things so personally?
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If it's bothering you it will cause a division between the two of you at some point you need to impress upon him how much it is bothering you and if he really cares he will not blow it off, but try and help more and do some more of the things you need. With what you do you might as well be working a full time job, but not only that your doing all you can to take care of him. Is it wrong for you to ask him to take care of your needs too? I don't think so, it takes two to make a relationship work giving an equal 100%. If you don't feel that's happening you need to address it before it comes out in a destructive way instead of a constrictive way. Best of luck.
Wesley
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